Disclaimer: I couldn't possibly own BLEACH since I'm terrible with deadlines. How does Kubo-sensei do it?

Greetings fellow Shades of Orange fans/readers…it has been what a little over 3 years since I posted the uber grand finale and its epilogue. Or maybe even longer? Oops!

I had promised alternate endings and yet failed to deliver. You probably thought I was just another fanfic author blowing a bunch of hot air…well it is my great pleasure to be proving you wrong well sorta…its more like altered events rather than alternate endings…still I hope you like it!

At long last I present to you the first story in the Alternate Winners Mini collection.

Quick reminders: Shiro is the alternate personality living in Ichigo's head…a shout-out to canon if there ever was one. Ichigo had many suitors. Kenpachi is not the most patient of men and he often drinks alcohol to calm his nerves. Yachiru is older in this universe and she's getting married. Not to mention she's a pervert. Ichigo is invited to the wedding. Ichigo's friends always tend to drop in at the wrong time. Lemons aren't exactly my fortay but I try. GRINS.

UN-BETA-ED, AU, OOC-ness, FOUL LANGUAGE, sex toys, etc….

ALTERNATE WINNERS #1

KENICHI

SHADES OF ORANGE: BUT I'M NOT THE BRIDE!

(What if Ichigo had shown up for his date with Kenpachi instead of being manhandled by Nnoitra behind the building of the supermarket?)

()()

Ichigo didn't know what the hell was wrong with him, couldn't explain why his palms were sweating and sticking to practically every surface he touched. He couldn't stop his heart from beating wildly as he glanced up at the clock. Didn't know why he felt the need to adjust the lighting and switch up the seating arrangements or change his clothes. It was stupid and pointless-ridiculous really. It was just dinner with Kenpachi. The beast of a man probably wouldn't even care about the light fixtures or the table set for two. Hell Kenpachi would be just as happy if Ichigo skipped dinner and moved straight into dessert.

'Ya can leave the apron on, just the apron though not that'll last long.'

The last thing Ichigo needed was comments from the peanut gallery-aka the alternate voice in his head.

'Is that all you can think about? What ever happened to a normal conversation and a quiet dinner between friends?'

'Heh, we both know ya are waaaaay past the friendship stage with 'Pachi Ichi.'

'Oh shut up Shiro you're not helping!'

The voice in the berry's head cackled wildly and then fell silent.

Ichigo wiped his powdery hands on his apron and set the timer on the oven.

()()

Ikkaku had never felt more proud in his life then he did at this very moment. Throwing the doors open and announcing "Da da da daaaaaaa I present to you our captain."

Yumichika looked up and over from his place in the leather chaise and let out an appreciative whistle at the handsome pair that had entered the living room. "You clean up nicely captain why you could almost pass for a true gentleman."

Ikkaku beamed like a proud parent "I know right. Who knew underneath all that scruff the captain would look so good."

Kenpachi grunted not feeling entirely comfortable in a suit and tie. "Knock it off you two! Yumichika get off your twinkly ass and pour me a glass of rum!"

Yumichika shook his delicate head "Absolutely out of the question. We can't have you meeting Ichigo-chan in an inebriated state."

"Fine. You sit there and continue painting your toes. Ikkaku get me a glass of rum would ya?"

"Eh hehehe much as I hate to say it he's got a point captain. Don't think getting drunk is gonna gain you any points."

If looks could kill Ikkaku would probably be a dead man. But to the cue-ball heads' credit he didn't even flinch.

Kenpachi's nostrils flared and he grunted his displeasure. "Tch. Fine whatever I need to get going anyway." He grabbed his keys off the hook on the wall and headed towards the front door, pausing when Yumichika called after him.

"Ah but c-captain what should we tell Yachiru-chan-she'll be arriving soon and will wonder why her Papa isn't here to greet her."

Guilt crept over Kenpachi at the reminder and he cursed inwardly. 'Shit that's right Yachiru's plane lands tonight. I agreed to Ichigo's invitation without thinking and now-arghhh-!'

As Kenpachi's fist met the wall Ikkaku ran over to him and Yumichika cried out a worried-

"Captain!"

"Shut up. Everything is fine. Stop calling me captain. Tell Yachiru I'm sorry I couldn't be here to greet her and thatfiancé of hers," his lips curled in the disgust at the word, but we'll all go out for lunch tomorrow on me."

"Sure thing Ca-Kenpachi leave everything to us."

"Yes you should just enjoy your time with your berry."

"Yeah go getcha some berry ass!"

"Ikkaku language!"

Kenpachi rolled his eyes at the couple grunted out a "You two have a good night I guess." And walked out the door.

()()

The black smoky clouds rising in the air didn't wake Ichigo up but the door bell ringing incessantly certainly did."Gahhhhhhh!" the berry screamed and jumped off the couch and raced into the kitchen, coughing violently, eyes tearing he cursed repeatedly and fumbled for the fire extinguisher hanging on the wall.

'Idiot how could I have fallen asleep and let everything burn'

Honestly all Ichigo had wanted was a little nap but he had apparently been more tiered than he previously thought.

He opened the oven door and almost felt like crying. But that would have been overly dramatic and completely unnecessary. Dinner was ruined. Oh well he hoped Kenpachi wouldn't mind take out.

"What the hell happened in here? You okay Ichigo?"

Speak of the man beast and he appears.

"K-Kenpachi!"

"Heh, love that reaction, kid. But seriously what happened here? Don't tell me you burned a pot of water?" Kenpachi teased.

Ichigo was not amused. "This was not supposed to happen."

Kenpachi shrugged not seeming to really care one way or another. "It's no big deal. We'll just order in." A lecherous grin came over the man's face as he took in the berry's appearance. "In the mean time you can show me what you're hiding underneath that apron of yours."

Ichigo would have protested except it seemed rather pointless to deny Kenpachi of anything since he practically let the man molest him within 15 minutes of introduction.

'Oh and what a night that was eh Ichi?'

'Fuck off Shirosaki!'

'Will do just as soon as you tell 'Pachi to fuck ya, King.'

'What the hell is the matter with you? I'm not gonna have my first time in my mother's kitchen!'

Ichigo shuddered at the thought. If he attempted such a thing and Masaki found out about it he'd never be able to look her in the face again.

'Heh tell that to 'Pachi's hands King, he's already got one hand on ya ass and it looks like he's only seconds away from shreddin' that ridiculous ass apron to bits.'

'Gee asshole thanks for stating the obvious.'

'Takes one ass to know another Ichi and since I'm you…well'

'Whatever. Just shut up I need to think.'

()()

Ichigo did his best to ignore how totally and completely fucking awesome it felt to have Kenpachi's strong hands firmly kneading his ass-did his best to not lose control and sanity as the man assaulted his heated flesh with tongue and teeth.

"Ken-Kenpachi stop! Not here."

Kenpachi stopped but only because he wanted to show the young man that he could control himself-after all he wasn't some horny teenager whose balls had just dropped. He had better control then that.

"What is it Ichigo? If not here than where?"

Ichigo bit his bottom lip. "Um upstairs I guess but before we go there I need you to promise me something?"

Kenpachi studied Ichigo's face and grunted/growled at what he saw there. "Still too soon to pull you down onto my cock, huh? Tch, fine Ichigo I'll let you keep your cherry a little longer."

Ichigo blushed and scowled furiously "DO you have to phrase it like that?"

Kenpachi chuckled loud and deep "How 'bout some tongue and finger action-give you a preview of what's to come in a few months."

"Months?" Cinnamon-coffee brown eyes widened and Ichigo's face softened. "You mean you'd wait that long for me?" He was touched-so touched by the man's patience and understanding that a part of him almost wanted to give in and say 'Fuck it, let's do this' but ….no that would only end in disaster.

Ichgo was not ready.

()

Ichigo sucked in a harsh breath and mewled softly as Kenpachi's large calloused wind-bitten hands snaked their way inside his underwear and squeezed his erection with purpose. "This is one of the things I love about you most kid, you're always so fucking hard-so fucking ready for me."

"Mmmm nnnngh ahhh."

"Where the hell were you ten years ago?"

"Ten years ago? What the hell are you trying to say, dumbass? I was a kid back then and my Kaa-chan would have never approved of some pedophile harassing her baby boy!"

Kenpachi chuckled and continued jerking his berry off, "Heh heh hah hah hah I was referring to 10 years ago for me but I'm sure even as a kid you were cute-course you're still a kid but difference is you're completely legal now."

"Nghhhh you asshole I'm nghhh ahhh ahh not a k-kid!"

"Stop being such a woman, Ichigo."

"Fuh you Ken-nghhh ha hha gahhh nghh shit oooh ahhh fuck you K-Ken-Kenpachiiiii!"

"Ha! Not in a million freakin' years kid."

Ichigo would have/should have punched or kicked or hell even bit the beast but that oh-so-wonderous thing called an orgasm attacked him completely just then and he was…he was gone. Far gone.

()()

(Unfortunately Kenpachi and Ichigo's evening was interrupted by an untimely drop in)

The beast was right in the middle of giving the berry an encore orgasm when the doorbell rang. Ichigo immediately froze up and cursed.

"Shit. Somebody's at the door."

Kenpachi grinned like the mad man he sometimes was and reached for Ichigo again, "Maybe if you moan louder whoever the hell is out there will get the hint and leave?"

What? Was Kenpachi suggesting that Ichigo should just continue to lie on the bed getting his dick sucked and asshole licked while an unexpected guest stood outside?

Not a chance in hell!

Ichigo was still quite new to a lot of things and didn't fancy putting on a show. He slapped Kenpachi's hands away, scrambled off the bed and reached for the clean pair of jeans in the laundry basket.

Kenpachi didn't seem the least bit happy and he said as much. "Ichigo is this going to become an issue? Am I going to have to fight for one on one quality time with you?"

Ichigo ignored Kenpachi as he searched his bedroom for a pair of socks and a relatively clean t-shirt.

"I know you can hear me Ichigo."

Ichigo combed his hand through his unruly orange locks and then turned to Kenpachi who hadn't even moved from his spot on the bed. "No it's nothing like that." At a raised brow the berry elaborated, "Look it's probably just my friends checking up on me. I'm not saying we can't erm continue this later but right now I should answer the door."

Kenpachi had a deep frown his face, making his scarred eye and cheek look even more pronounced. "Dropping in announced. I don't like it. Who the hell does that?"

Ichigo did not like seeing Kenpachi frown and quickly crossed the room and pounced back on the bed and proceeded to kiss said frown away only to pull back when Kenpachi dived in for some tongue action.

"No! No we're not starting that!" Ichigo kept his voice firm. "Not now Kenpachi."

It was almost like scolding animal. For some reason the thought amused the berry greatly.

()()

Ichigo glanced at his reflection in the mirror on his way down the stairs and was pleased to see that for the most part he looked normal.

()()

He'd been expecting Renji or Rukia or Renji and Rukia but Ichigo certainly didn't expect to open the door to find Renji, Rukia, Inoue, Chado, Ishida and a strange guy with pink-hair standing on the front steps of his parent's house.

"Uh hey guys, what's up?"

Rukia smirked at Ichigo and stepped towards him, taking a cursory sniff, a smirk pulled at her lips, "The real question here is how come it took you such a long time to answer the door Ichigo? Could it be you were in the midst of a little hanky panky?"

Ichigo turned beet red. "Shut up RUKIA!"

The raven haired girl giggled, "Oh so you were? Oh ho ho that is priceless!"

Ichigo glared at Rukia and then moved his attention to his other friends.

Renji looked antsy, Ishida looked exasperated, Chado looked mildly amused, Inoue looked embarrassed and the pink-haired stranger looked-well actually Ichigo didn't want to think too hard about what the look on the guys' face could mean.

And suddenly Ichigo could feel Kenpachi behind him, although the beast wasn't saying anything Ichigo had no doubt that the man was silently scrutinizing the group.

"Uh guys now really isn't a good-we're all here because I have an announcement to make so hurry up and let us in!"

Well it was winter plus Ichigo's mother had taught him that one of the most important things in life was being a good host and so he stepped back and ushered his group of friends plus 1 inside.

()

"Alright guys so as you may have guessed this is Kenpachi, Kenpachi these are my friends Renji, Rukia, Inoue, Chado, Ishida and uh-well actually I don't know who the last guy is."

"This is Szayel. We met on the night of Ishida's fashion show thing." Wasting no time Renji cut straight to the chase. "Anyway we're I mean I'm getting married?"

Ichigo blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. "Married?!"

Rukia giggled. "Don't act so shocked Ichigo. Renji is in love so it seems only natural that he get hitched."

Inoue nodded in agreement all but gushing "Mmm hmm marriage will only strengthen their bond. Plus I've never seen Abarai-kun look so happy!"

Renji's face went slightly pink "Knock it off Hime! It's not that big of a deal."

"I beg to differ Abarai with marriage comes a great commitment. Life is no longer just about thinking for yourself."

"Are you calling me selfish?!"Renji bristled and looked like he might just hit Ishida-that is if Chado wasn't sitting right in between the two.

Ishida wiped a smudge off his glasses and drawled out a sarcastic "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Alright enough you two! We didn't come all the way here to act like children we came to tell Ichigo the news. What do you think Ichigo?"

"Uh well it seems a bit sudden but congratulations, way to go!"

What else was there for him to say? One of his best friends was tying the knot. This was good news-if a bit strange. "So when's the wedding date?"

Renji and Szayel shared a look before the pink-haired man answered, "As soon as possible. After New Year most likely, you know there is no reason to delay."

Simply because he could Ichigo teasingly asked, "So which one of you is going to be the blushing bride?"

()()

All this talk of weddings and brides got the gears in Kenpachi's head turning and he realized that he would very much like to bring Ichigo as his date to Yachiru's own wedding. Of course this also made the beast realize that he would have to give his blessing-an idea he still wasn't too happy about it. But it would be worth it. To see his precious daughter smile. To walk Yachiru down the aisle and to see his love sitting in the front row. Heh Ichigo really was turning him into a sap.

"Nice to meet you all. Now beat it!"

"Beg your pardon- Ishida looked highly insulted.

Renji was now bristling for an entirely different reason "Listen asshole I don't know who you think you are but we ain't-

Inoue fiddled with the ring around her pinky finger "Um well what Abarai-kun is trying to say is that we were hoping we could stay a few minutes more and catch up because you see we've been missing Kurosaki-kun a lot and-

"We aren't going anywhere!" Rukia crossed her arms and glared up at Kenpachi.

"Unless Ichigo wants us to leave but only if HE wants us to leave." Chado interjected and then gave Ichigo a pointed stare. "Is that what you want Ichigo?"

The berry felt like he was caught between a rock and hard place. But in the end he realized that it would be best to avoid as much confrontation and discord as possible.

"Well Kenpachi and I were kind of in the middle of something so yeah maybe you guys should go and I'll catch up to you later."

Everyone seemed to accept this-everyone but…

"You're kicking us out? Unbelievable!"

"It's fine, its fine we can take a hint. Come on Renji let's give Ichigo some space."

"No it's not fine. Ichigo come on man I haven't even discussed the plans for my bachelor party with you yet."

"Ren stop it you can discuss the plans on another date let's just leave your friend to his dinner date."

Renji looked like he might have wanted to protest further but refrained from doing so. Ichigo felt a bit guilty even though there was no real reason to feel that way.

But at the same time his friends had interrupted his much anticipated date with Kenpachi so…

"Come on I'll walk you all to the door."

()()

"Sorry about my friends they don't always have the greatest timing and-

Kenpachi cut Ichigo off mid-sentence as he roughly pressed his larger mouth against the berry's much smaller one and lifted the slighter male up by his perfect ass and proceeded to grind Ichigo into the wall.

()

()

()

(And what if shortly after Kenpachi and Ichigo's official real first date Ichigo disappeared at the ski lodge with Shinji, Hiyori, Kensei and co and Kenpachi tracks him down? Wait! That did happen except in this version there is no sight of crazy blood thirsty Hinamori trying to kill Ichigo nor any sight of Aizen-sama trying to woo him…basically Kenpachi has free reign and can do whatever he wants to the berry)

While being thoroughly ravished beside the fireplace on a bear skin rug carried some appeal Ichigo really wished Kenpachi could have picked a more secluded place to seduce him rather than the inside of main lounge area of the Viso ski lodge. Seriously Hiyori and her rag-tag posse could return at any moment or worse owner of the lodge or one of the employees could return and Ichigo well…he would quite literally be caught with his pants down.

"Wait! Kenpachi stop! This isn't-we can't just-you need to-someone could come in and-

The beast chuckled low and deep in the berry's ear, "You shoulda thought about that before you ran off on me Ichigo."

"The hell are you-I told you I was dragged here against my will!"

"Liar liar pants on fire oh wait you're not wearing any."

Ichigo flushed and growled angrily "And whose fault is that? I swear you couldn't even give me a proper hello without shoving your hand down my pants-!"

The man chuckled deeply "I don't know why you pretend to be so against my rough lovin' kid when the evidence is staring me right in the face-dick rock hard, wet and slapping against your stomach and this perfect ass of yours keeps quivering with anticipation and need-heh bit of a miracle that pretty boy loan shark didn't keep you locked up in a dungeon after getting one look at this shameless body of yours."

Kenpachi's natural raspy baritone deepened even more and Ichigo turned even redder.

"Let's not talk about Aizen and the fact that he saw me in my birthday suit."

Ichigo wanted to forget all the stupid choices he had made. Wanted to forget the man he met in the taxi. Wanted to forget the mansion and all its occupants. He wanted to look towards the future.

Focus on bigger and better things…much better things-like Kenpachi jerking him off with large callused hands and slicking Ichigo's virgin hole with pre-cum and saliva-being down on all fours should be humiliating as all hell…and yet once Ichigo stopped worrying…the act didn't feel anything but totally 100 percent natural.

"One of these days you're gonna wear leather pumps for me Ichigo, leather pumps and nothing else."

"Leather nghhh pu-puh-pumps you are out of your hahhhhh-nghhh ahh oh fu-FUUUUUUCK!"

"Uh huh that's right Ichigo I'm gonna fuck you under the pretty sparkling lights of my Christmas tree and you'll be wearin' nothing but 8 inch leather pumps."

()()

()

(Try, try as Ichigo does he is never quite able to escape "torture")

At first Ichigo couldn't see any resemblance between Kenpachi and his daughter Yachiru and guessed that the pink-haired young woman had inherited her looks from her mother…or at least this is what he had thought up until Yachiru smiled an all too wide demonic slasher like smile-a dead ringer for her old man. Ichigo inwardly cringed-much as he loved Kenpachi and he did in fact love the beast Kenpachi could still be a bit scary at times. And Yachiru well…

A thin orange brow twitched in irritation "You do realize that I am I guy right?"

"Of course I know Ichii is a guy but you're a pretty guy and you've agreed to help me out with my wedding so you need to look your prettiest."

Pretty? Ichigo didn't do pretty. HE WAS A GUY DAMN IT! What the hell was he supposed to do with a coral pink slip dress? "This is some kind of joke right?"

Yachiru shook her head "Nope. Yachiru's maid of honor Bambi-chan canceled on Yachiru at the last minute so now Ichii gets to wear the dress."

"But I'M A GUY!" Ichigo repeated.

"Doesn't matter. I saw you in the fashion show of 2010 I know you can pull this off."

That wasn't the damn point. Ichigo had only agreed to assist Yachiru in her wedding because he wanted to please Kenpachi but he never thought he'd have to put on a damn dress again. "Come on there's got to be something else I can wear-something more manly-

Sadly for Ichigo, Yachiru wasn't hearing it. "Nope. Coral is a good color for you Ichii it'll bring out your eyes."

"But I'm not even the BRIDE!"

Yachiru jumped at Ichigo's outburst and looked thoughtful for a few minutes. She fiddled with the straps of her own dress and smiled brightly "Ah but you will be one day right?"

"What-NO! Hell no!"

What the hell was wrong with Kenpachi's daughter?

"For the last time Yachiru I am a guy!"

Shit did he have to whip it out just to prove his point to the annoying woman?

'Pro'bly not the best idea King, I mean what if the groom walked in.'

'Shut up Shirosaki!'

Yachiru shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief happy that for once he didn't have to humiliate himself in front of a 100 strangers.

"Thank you."

The young bride turned away from the berry and focused her attention on her reflection in the mirror for a moment before twirling back around, "So whatcha think? Do I make a pretty bride?"

Ichigo took in Yachiru's appearance. The bride's bubblegum pink colored hair had been pulled up into an elegant chiffon bun making her cherubic like face look more mature, her skin sparkled almost as much as her unnaturally big eyes and the long flowing off white wedding gown with hand embroidered pink silk roses and grassy green leaves did indeed look very pretty on her.

"Yes you do."

Yachiru beamed at Ichigo and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the vanity station "And now it's your turn. Close your eyes and sit."

Ichigo tried to suppress an oncoming groan "Yachiru I thought you-

The pinkette giggled, "No worries no dresses for you Ichii-I've got something else in mind. Now close your eyes and sit."

()()

It had been hours yes hours since Ichigo had disappeared into brides' dressing room and Kenpachi didn't like it one damn bit because his berry should be sitting next to him in the front row and blushing that wonderful shade of red as the beast grunted dirty things into his ear.

Kenpachi had been together with Ichigo for almost half a year now and he still hadn't officially fucked his berry. The couple had come close, several times, but every time the finish line approached Ichigo clamped up and shied away. Not from the act itself per se but rather…Kenpachi's intimidating size.

(FLASHBACK)

'No way is that giant thing of yours is going anywhere near my ass Kenpachi! It'd kill me.'

The jagged lines of Kenpachi's non-existent brows twitched. Sure his berry had a point but that didn't change anything he would have Ichigo one way or another. His patience was warring thin. "I'm not gonna lie to you Ichigo I will prob'ly split you in half and you're prob'ly gonna need stiches afterword but trust me it will be worth it." If he thought grinning was gonna sway Ichigo he was deadly mistaken. The berry all but flew off the bed and out the door.

()

Kenpachi snorted at the memory and tapped his foot impatiently. 'Seriously what the hell is taking Ichigo so damn long?'

()

"You can't be serious? I'm not wearing this!"

"Oh yes you are Ichii…"

The berry groaned in frustration. "Yachiru you promised me no more girly things."

"This isn't girly I swear. Sarongs have been very popular over many centuries and besides as the bride it is my duty to make sure that everyones fantasies are fulfilled."

WTF? That didn't make any damn sense at all.

"Yachi-

There was a knock at the door interrupting Ichigo's protest. A voice followed. A voice Ichigo did not recognize.

"Yachiru, dear are you almost ready to come out of there? You've been inside the dressing room for over 2 hours and the groom is about to have a panic attack."

"No worries Mama-Ran-chan I'll be out in a minute or two. Just keep my guests entertained for a while would ya?"

"Entertained? How do you expect me to entertain an entire wedding party Yachiru? Listen, do you need help? Mummy is happy to lend a hand to my beautiful girl if you'd like."

"No need Mama Ran-chan just go out there and flash your boobies-everybody loves boobies!"

Ichigo felt his face grow warm. If that was truly Yachiru's mother on the other side of the door well…the two had a strange relationship to say the least.

The woman giggled "Well alright then but do hurry up sweetie, we're almost out of champagne."

"I will I promise now go."

It seemed as though the young bride wasn't in any hurry to rush to the door. "Sorry about that, now Ichii as I was saying you'll look perfect in this sarong…just think the midnight blue with a coral pink sash it'll bring out your eyes and your skin and more importantly," here the devilish grin returned "Papa Ken-chan won't be able to keep his hands off of you."

Ichigo sighed admitting defeat. "Fine I'll wear it."

()

And so the berry donned the sarong and reached for the lock on the door but the bride stopped him. "Wait! Not yet! There's one more thing I have to give you."

Ichigo shuddered to think what said "thing" might be. Ballet slippers or some other such nonsense perhaps?

()()

Oh if only it had been foot wear and not…

Ichigo's orange brows disappeared into his hair line and he hissed in horror when Yachiru reached inside a shoe box and produced a glittery phallic shaped monstrosity and presented it to him. "Holy fu-is that-don't tell me that's what I think it is."

"It's a dildo. Best on the market. Happy fun times await you. Go ahead give it a try."

"What? No! Are you crazy? Where the hell did you-no never mind put it away before someone comes in and-are you trying to kill me-? What would happen if…

Ichigo couldn't even get the rest of the words out as the grin on the young perverted brides face grew even wider and she added, "No worries Ichii, your secret is safe with Yachiru."

"Secret? What secret! No never mind just get rid of that damn thing before your father or the groom walks in and gets the wrong id-

Maniacal laughter cut the berry off. Well perhaps maniacal was a bit of an exaggeration but…Yachiru clearly had lost her damn mind.

"There's no need to throw a hissy fit Ichii-trust Yachiru when she says this is exactly what you need. Now take it!"

()()

At long last the bride and Ichigo reemerged from the dressing room Kenpachi couldn't help but do a double take. Ichigo looked hot. Hotter than normal which honestly the beast hadn't thought possible especially since he'd seen the kid in heels…fishnet stockings… and gloriously naked during many times throughout the course of their relationship and yet…here and now his berry was proving him wrong yet again. Perfectly toned chest, arms and legs on full display and glistening in the afternoon sun…the fact that Ichigo seemed to be walking with a bit of a waddle did not deter from his beauty and…well Kenpachi chalked it up to nerves and nothing else.

Little did the beast know…

()()

Ichigo would have-should have totally killed the young bride bit it's not like Yachiru had forced him to shove the toy up his ass-the young woman had merely made a strong suggestion.

MINI FLASHBACK

'I heard you've been havin some troubles with performing and that sort of thing-learn to handle that and you'll be ready for Papa Ken-chan in no time.'

Beg your pardon but what the fuck?

Seriously?!

'Jesu-how the hell do you-why do you know about-

"Walls are paper thin plus Yachiru is not stupid but no worries Ichii all your secrets are safe with me, I swear."

Even still Ichigo did not find it very reassuring. He was horrified…offended and silently prayed the nightmare would end.

()()

(And yes it was a beautiful wedding…Rangiku was sloshed and dancing with the cabana boys …the bride practically "date-raped" the groom and Kenpachi and Ichigo couldn't keep their eyes off each other)

And that's not all…

After issuing congratulations and the death threat of a life time to his new son-in-law "If you ever break Yachiru's heart I'll drive you out to sea and feed to the sharks" Kenpachi whisked Ichigo away from the rest of the wedding party…

He didn't let the tears fall from his eyes until they were a good ways away from the gazebo.

"Ken-Kenpachi are you crying?"

"Kenpachi snorted and turned to Ichigo. "Don't be stupid I'm not crying some dust flew in my eye."

Ichigo looked doubtful but didn't say anything further. He kicked off his sling backs and rested his head on one of Kenpachi's broad shoulders and sighed, "That was quite the wedding wasn't it?"

"…"

"I mean it wasn't like any other wedding I've been too."

Kenpachi only grunted "Yeah well we don't do conventional. Too stuffy. Too boring."

Boring is not how Ichigo would have describe it but…

Kenpachi scraped his hand over his face and then muttered unintelligibly.

"Sorry I didn't catch that."

The man granted once more and then said. "I'm a pretty shitty father."

"What are you talking about?" It was clear to Ichigo that Kenpachi loved and valued Yachiru more than he loved and valued his own life. Why else would the man be so insanely protective?

"No you're not. You're just finding it hard to let go. But that Gremm guy seems like he really cares about her plus think in a couple of years you'll have some grandkids on the way."

"Grandkids? Hah! Yachiru has no interest in such things. She and that Gremm idiot are gonna travel the world and maybe settle down some where exotic like Egypt. After today I'll hardly see her and that's why I should have paid more attention. I should have done more for Yachiru. This was my little girls' big day and instead of looking on with utmost pride and joy and feeling my heart swell admiring what a beautiful woman she's become I only had eyes for you, Ichigo."

Ichigo slumped a little feeling guilty for distracting Kenpachi from such a momentous occasion… "I'm sor-

"Dumbass! Don't be sorry! Just c'mere."

Ichigo could protest but really what was the point? He knew what Kenpachi had wanted…the way that the man's calloused hands were reaching between the sarong he was wearing and rubbing his sweaty sun kissed thighs in such a needy way.

Kenpachi and Ichigo's mouths met and their tongues slopped together in an act of passion…

Grunts and groans and heavy breathing filled the air.

()()

"I know I said I wouldn't pressure you-hell I even made a promise but I just really wanna fuck you right now."

Even with his face turning fire engine red Ichigo managed to get up the nerve to crawl into Kenpachi's lap and grind against the man, a small smirk playing at his lips "Well I'm a bit full at the moment as you're soon to find out Kenpachi but…I'm sure you can make some room."

Kenpachi's face twisted in confusion…well right up until Ichigo parted his thighs that is…

Gray-green eyes narrowed "A toy?"

Ichigo shivered a little "Y-yeah um well you see-

Kenpachi grunted. "Never mind I'm better off not knowing since it'd probably just piss me off."

"Don't be pissed. I'm here and I'm ready to be loved. So love me." Ichigo fluttered his lashes and moaned in a wanton fashion.

Sure Kenpachi was turned on. How could he not be but he was also a little bit annoyed. Who the hell had given his berry a fucking toy?

Better not be that fucker Aizen!

"C'mon 'Pachi don't make me beg."

For a split second brown eyes flashed molten gold. It wasn't the first time Kenpachi had noticed and probably wouldn't be the last either.

Jagged skin above his brow twitching, Kenpachi reached for said toy but didn't remove it right away and grunted "Since when did you become such a wanton slut Ichigo?"

"I resent that I am not a slut! I just…well you could say I picked up a couple of things when I went camping with Grimmjow, Nnoitra and Nel last month but I rather not go into details."

Kenpachi eyes narrowed to slits and flipped Ichigo on to his stomach and gave the kids' perfect tight little bottom a hard smack.

The berry released a yelp but was still rearing to go. "Why waste all your energy spanking me when fucking me is sure to be more pleasurable for both of us."

And fuck he just purred! Fucking purred.

"Ichigo you really are-

"All you ever wanted," the berry quipped and grinned over his shoulder "Enough talk Kenpachi its time for you to kiss me, touch me and fuck me like a caveman!"

"Caveman?" A grunt and then a deep chuckle "Brace yourself kid, once I start I ain't stoppin'."

()()

Feeling the stupid glittery monstrosity leave his body came as much relief to Ichigo and he only hissed and winced ever so slightly as Kenpachi gripped him by his thighs and pulled him down onto his massive cock-stretching his hole pre fuck had definitely done him a world of good.

'I gotta be sure to send Yachiru a thank you.'

'Heh, not too bad for a first time eh King?'

()()

END

TADA! SO whatcha think? A-OKAY? No Way! Or just hmm…I'm sorry its not quite what I promised but I hope some of you enjoyed this!

Up next time…

GRIMMJOW

(Trust me when I say it'll be longer…and perhaps a little better.)

See you then

~SLY~