Chapter 9

Creation was an forever changing thing. It wouldn't wait for anyone, not even the peoples who governed it. Gods and goddesses, demons and spirits…even the mortals shared one thing in common. They were all able to be replaced. In fact, replacement was necessary for continual growth. For immortal beings, it happened rarely. Heavenly and unholy bodies were immune to many tragedies. Something had to cause it, to provoke an untimely death, or merely phase them out, sealing them away.

Being so far removed from the vicious cycle, the idea of death came as something fundamental, and entirely logical. It wasn't something to become emotionally invested in, and most didn't mind turning a blind eye to the facts. In that way, perhaps, ten dimensional beings were strictly unable to comprehend the significance of loss. However not all in creation were so lucky.

Humans suffered from the realities all the time.

It had been a long, hard day. The bath was warm, and the sounds of the dripping water from the tap echoed pleasantly on the walls. There was something to be said for his nightly ritual, and how it soothed his mind in a way nothing else seemed to do. It wasn't as if he could call the experiences of being a demon gratifying, but, he could say that being one wasn't entirely bad.

In fact, he was quiet content with leaning back in a hot bath, pondering his life, and the world in which he lived. Perhaps he'd simply learned to appreciate the value of what he'd been given…or, perhaps it was because he was always the type of man, to find happiness in the saddest of times. Some beings might have argued that it was because he used to be human, that such a fact gifted his heart an understanding that no immortal being could ever achieve.

Whatever the reason was, he accepted the fact that he was still quite powerless to do anything.

Sure, he was beginning to fall into the powers of his new life and body. Yes, he was a demon, and baptized in the sins that tainted the earth so terribly…he even could acknowledge that his very ruler was a woman who sought terrible things, at the expense of anything she deemed meaningless. He could accept all of that…but, even if he was a demon, he was not omnipotent. Although he could levitate his body a few inches off the ground now, hold fire in his palm, and cast tiny bolts of lightning from his fingertips, he could not save the world.

He could not prevent the death of those he cared for. He could not stop the flow of time. He could only repent after he'd lost something great...but no apology would ever bring life. So, as he sat in the hot bath, his mind always seemed to wander down the path of remembrance, of things he could not change…of truths that still remained out of his control.

He craved to fix things that he could not, and often he addled himself over the finite world around him, grappling with the concepts of impossibility.

"You shouldn't agonize so much." Belldandy had told him as they shared the bath before separating for their nightly baptisms. Her fingers trailed over his stiff shoulders, trying to ease the tension found within him. "You've no need, forcing yourself to suffer more will never help you in your struggles."

"You can say that, but it doesn't do much good." Keiichi told her as she hugged him. Her hand found their place over his beating heart, and he rested his hand over hers. "It doesn't get any easier, does it?"

"I wouldn't know, Keiichi." Belldandy murmured slowly, her soft breath barely a whisper. "I've never lost a sister to her mortal life, so I have no way of understanding what you might be going through." Belldandy felt guilty over that, and her mouth became dry. She had always found some way to quantify pain with strength, but somehow, she found herself unable to do it this time. "Forgive me, Keiichi, as a goddess, it wasn't in my capacity to understand before."

"I'm okay, Bell." Keiichi sighed. He never did deal with death well. "You don't have to apologize for something like this." He could feel her uneasiness, her uncertainty at the edge of every breath, as if flowed through him. "It isn't your fault."

She realized, she'd given mortals far too little credit…or perhaps, she'd gifted them far more than she should have. The odd paradox made her waver, the cruelty of what creation chose for mortal souls seemed far more unsettling now. "Having never personally experienced something like this before, I don't know what to think about it. Megumi is blessed by the heavens, but, I don't know whether to smile for her, or to cry."

"It's because you're personally invested, this time." It didn't take the sting out of the truth…but, Keiichi knew nothing would. "If anything, I'm used to it by now." It didn't stop his eyes from burning, or his chest from hurting in that indescribable way that made him oh so tired, and yet restless. "This sort of thing happens every day."

"It does." Belldandy agreed quietly. She'd never thought she'd be so thankful that Keiichi had swallowed that pill in the past. Facing the loss of Megumi, his one and only sister, put into perspective the fleeting realities of mortal life. One thing Belldandy learned, was that mortals could somehow accept the loss of those older than themselves. The loss of grandparents, parents, uncles, and aunts while difficult, was an easier thing to comprehend. She found, that humans were less willing to accept the death of those younger than themselves. Now, she began to understand why that was.

It seemed wrong, somehow. As if the idea itself was completely impossible. Belldandy wasn't just a bystander, watching the lives of the mortal race, not this time. This time, she herself had to bid farewell to very dear friend in a way she hadn't prepared herself for.

"What's it like to die?" Keiichi asked her. "What's on the other side?"

Belldandy didn't move. She sat in the warm water, letting the steam engulf her, as if it would offer protection. There were several times she made a move to say something, but each and every time her voice just wouldn't budge. "I'm sorry, Keiichi, but as a goddess, I'm restricted from telling you the heavenly administrative details." She searched, trying to find something, anything. "All I can say, is that because gods and goddesses live in an administrative part of heaven, souls of mortals do not arrive there. They go someplace else entirely."

"I see." Keiichi nodded.

"I'm sorry, Keiichi." Belldandy murmured again. "I'm sorry, but, I just don't know what to do."

"We keep on living." Keiichi said, without missing a beat. "That's all we can do, Bell." His eyes burned, but he didn't stop the tears. His sister was gone, and as the demon he was, he would never see her again. Somehow, he found himself alright with that, and it sickened him.

…

"They needed some time alone." Urd said at the kitchen table, located in her old home up in the heavens. "Keiichi's getting by, but, Belldandy's taking this harder than she normally would." The family home was huge, due to their father's heavenly position. They wanted for nothing growing up, but, they were not raised by their parents, in fact, the home exuded such a loneliness, even now.

Such a sterility had been taking a toll. "Big sis always cries." Skuld replied, also a bit saddened by the news. "Besides, since it's Megumi…"

"Yeah…" Urd agreed, taking a few moments to consider that. "You're right, Belldandy is easily swayed by her emotions." It was oddly serene, and yet, entirely pristine as thought it had gone untouched while the sisters remained away. There were likely a few goddess of third class caring for the home, but even they did well to stay hidden when they weren't called upon. "So, did Megumi make it into the system yet?"

"Let me look." Skuld said, tapping away at her miniature terminal that she used while away from the office. It took her a while to scan the documents, but finally, she found the file she was looking for. "It appears so. Her papers have made it to the transfer offices, and they accepted them as soon as they got them."

Urd smiled then, even if it was a bit sadly. "I'm glad." She only wished there was something she could do for Belldandy and Keiichi, but she was powerless to help them. With that in mind, there was still one person she could look after. "How are you holding up, Skuld?"

"I'm okay." Skuld said, before feeling like those amethyst eyes of Urd's were trying to read into her. "Um, the new job is going good, I guess. I'm learning a whole bunch of new things all the time." She said a bit shyly. "The other day, I even got to look at some old system logs from Nidhogg." Skuld tried to sound happy, but, she found it was much harder to do than she would have liked. "Did you know that both Yggdrasil and Nidhogg share the same exact start up programs?"

"I didn't, but, it makes sense." There was clearly a lingering strain between them. Urd knew this wasn't going to be easy, but she didn't think it would be so hard, either. "If things are going well, I won't stay too long."

"Urd…" Skuld said, looking back to her sister then. "Mother isn't home very often. Father is always absorbed in his terminal, that he never really looks at me. Sometimes, Hild will talk to me if she's up here…but none of the goddesses really take time to talk to me anymore. Lind thinks of me as her boss, and so does Peorth." The youngest Norn had never noticed it before, but, now it was clear as day. "No one really comes to visit, or anything..."

"Oh, Skuld." Urd finally sighed then. "Come here." She stood up from her place and pulled Skuld into her arms. "It'll be fine." Urd told her. "I promise."

"It's lonely here without you and big sis." The house wasn't quiet before. It had been filled with laughs, arguing, and even singing. It had never been so quiet, never for Skuld. Belldandy and Urd had made sure of that. "It's so quiet, and at night, it gets cold, and dark."

"I know it is." Urd could remember that distant time. "It was too quiet for me, too." The deafening silence she had to deal with, when Belldandy was away with her tutors…or, that haunting time when her sister was simply a ghost of her former self. "It'll be okay, I'll force it to be if I have to." For a house nestled in the heavens, there were far too many times when silence loomed over it…times Urd knew well.

She started to hum an eerie tune. It hailed from a place that she could not remember. The voice that had sung it to her was not a voice she easily recalled. Yet the tune and the lyrics came like a second nature, washing away the quiet illness that caked them. It was haunting, and bitter sweet, but it was a song Urd had always loved, even if she didn't know why.

…

The heavenly administration was different, it governed its people with a strict council, one made up of forthright gods and goddesses. They could not think like Hild, nor act as impulsively. Anzasu hadn't ever thought of that before, of just how many rules were there to regulate heaven and its people. Rules that were nearly inconsequential for any demon...especially a demon such as Hild. Yet, if what the demonic queen said held any truth at all, the battle between the holy and unholy could merely be seen as child's play.

"How long do we have, Hild?" Anzasu asked as she stood looking out over the very universe that so protected her daughters. Her eyes focused squarely on earth.

"About a thousand years." It was a drop in the bucket for them, not nearly long enough to change creation themselves. "Maybe more, maybe less. It depends on how creation decides to play things out." Hild laughed a little at the irony. "We may govern creation, but it governs our whims with a heavy hand...and when we become useless, we also become no more than a memory if we're lucky."

"Most children don't even have their powers by then, and you expect that Keiichi will?" Anzasu asked, feeling a bile begin to dance in the pit of her gut. She tossed a sideways glance Hild's way. "Even if he does, he won't be able to utilize them in a way to rule over your realm."

"Oh, he'll serve my purposes yet." Hild said smoothly, her smoky voice drifting over Anzasu in such a way that it eased the goddess due to the pure trust alone. Hild seemed self-assured. "Demons are nothing, if not resourceful."

"You put far too much of fate into this gamble of yours." Anzasu sighed. "Demons are also nothing, if not capricious."

Hild nodded, she could take that retort as mere truth, and little more. "The notion is an interesting one. I won't deny that I'm a bit interested to see how this really plays out." Hild's eyes grew dark, and so did her smirk. "However, I'm well aware of the limitations. Time might be a constraint, but Keiichi is much less a tether, and far more like the needed key."

"I suppose you refuse to elaborate on that, don't you?" Anzasu said then with a shake of her head. Her worries were not satiated, but at least she had a better grasp of just what lurked under her very nose. "I would be careful, if I were you. There are some in this family, Urd especially, who won't take kindly to you making such trouble."

"That, my dear Anzasu, is exactly what I'm counting on." Hild murmured with a smirk.