A/N: I need some SQ fluff after last night's heterosexual parade of an episode… STAT!
*Small reference to a recent episode of Grey's Anatomy so beware if you don't want to be spoiled (even though it was literally everywhere).
Chapter 12
"Did you hear that Gaston is trying to bring back 90's fashion?" Ruby snorted, refilling Regina's coffee mug as the older brunette grinned at her over the diner counter.
"I thought I saw MC Hammer swaggering down Main Street this morning." Regina teased before sipping from her mug. Ruby laughed breathlessly as she pretended to clean the counter in order to avoid Granny's wrath.
"What's so funny?" Emma grinned as she returned to the stool next to her girlfriend after a quick bathroom trip.
"Gaston." Ruby leaned her forearms on the counter.
"Hammer time!" Emma imitated some of the famous hand movements causing the two brunettes to chuckle. Regina smiled affectionately before grasping the blonde's hand and placing their entwined hands on the counter comfortably.
"So cute," Ruby pouted dreamily, "I'm so happy for you guys. And I heard about your little date last night!"
"Thanks Rubes." Emma smiled shyly, a blush coloring her cheeks. Regina snuggled up to the blushing blonde, landing a gentle kiss to her nose. Emma's blush deepened. Who knew PDA couldn't feel so exhilarating? Now she knew why couples did it.
The diner door was slowly opened to reveal a swaying, groaning Snow wearing giant sunglasses. The trio at the counter gave each other sly looks. Snow steadied herself on the doorframe.
"Ow," Snow moaned before looking towards the counter and seeing three gigantic grins teasing her, "Oh no."
"Oh yes," Ruby giggled mischievously, "Come sit, drunkard, I have hangover remedies in the back."
Snow wobbled to the stool next to her daughter as she gently lifted her black sunglasses onto the top of her head, "Good lord, tell me last night was a dream."
"No, it was quite real," Regina smile teasingly, "I have video proof."
Snow groaned, dropping her head on the counter, "Regina."
"I emailed it to Henry this morning. He's going to piece together the golden moments and set it to circus music." Regina grinned before lifting her fork and stuffing scrambled eggs into her mouth. Her grin remained large, making her look like a villainous cartoon character. Snow simply grunted.
"Here you go boozer," Ruby whispered comically into Snow's ear as she set down a glass and a plate of food, "I read in doctor-y article that a Virgin Bloody Mary and a nice, hot, greasy breakfast actually helps."
Emma hummed nonchalantly as she looked over the menu, even though everyone knew she was going to order her usual, "I'll keep that information locked and loaded."
"So, girls, I was thinking—" Ruby began.
"Uh oh." Regina teased, running the fork prongs across her white teeth. Ruby glared back playfully.
"I was thinking…" Ruby gave Regina a pointed stare, "that we should have a girl's night!"
Emma groaned while Snow exclaimed, "Yes!"
"No!" The blonde leaned back dramatically, the back of her head connecting with her upper back. Snow playfully slapped Emma's bicep.
"Don't be anti-social!" Snow sobbed before cradling her forehead with a grimace.
"I have to work until Saturday. I have Sunday off and I want to spend time with my kid and my girl," Regina blushed at Emma's juvenile nickname for her, "Not playing spin-the-bottle and braiding Ruby's hair."
Regina leaned in to kiss Emma's ear sensually before whispering, "Dear, if we have a girl's night, we can spend the day with Henry then he could go spend the night with Charming."
"So?" Emma moaned quietly. Regina gave the shell of her ear a quick lick.
"So, once the girls are gone, we have the house to ourselves." Regina purred, her hand caressing the back of Emma's neck.
"A girls night sounds awesome!" Emma shouted. Ruby burst out laughing.
"What a quick turn around there, Em?" Ruby pestered, "You two seem to forget, I'm a wolf. I can hear everything."
Emma blushed profusely when Snow asked, "What? What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that your daughter, Emma Swan, is a naughty girl." Ruby hummed teasingly before bursting into breathless laughter.
"Rubes!" The wolf's laughter tapered off, but a smile was still visible as she moved to serve Grumpy his morning whiskey.
"Oh god, I think I'm dying." Snow groaned, flicking her sunglasses back over her eyes as she chewed on a piece of bacon.
"Where's Charming?" Regina questioned, sipping her depleting coffee. Snow glared before dropping her head back onto her forearms that rested on the counter.
"He slept like a damn rock last night, hasn't woken up yet. Lucky bastard." Emma chuckled at her parent's misfortune. She spied a large smile from her girlfriend. Regina was milking up their misery.
"I don't know why I spent decades trying to ruin your life by casting a curse when I could've just given you a few Kahlua's and watched you self destruct." Emma laughed so hard at Regina's quip, she was sure she burst a lung. Her laugh was so contagious; other patrons began giggling and smiling without knowing what was going on. Even Snow chuckled before muttering 'Ow' and becoming silent.
"Such a lightweight." Ruby tormented as she placed Grumpy's order then turned to take the stool next to Regina.
"Oh shut up, all of you." Snow grumbled, waving her left hand in surrender. Emma opened her mouth to continue the jokes when Ruby gasped.
"Oh my God, she's coming!" Ruby stood and ran behind the counter with the speed of, well, a wolf. She turned to her friends before frantically asking, "Do I look okay?"
"You look beautiful, Pup, as always." Regina soothed. Emma felt a twinge of jealously but quickly squashed it. Regina was hers. They were in love. She wasn't going to cheat on her or leave. Regina and Ruby were friends, best friends. Relax. Old habits die-hard but she was trying.
"What's going on?" Snow questioned quietly. Emma and Regina quirked their brows before leaning forward, silently wondering the same and hoping that everything was all right.
"When you called me last night, I was in the midst of meeting someone and she was gorgeous and perfect but I couldn't leave you hanging so I left. She left a napkin with her number but I didn't want to seem desperate by calling her so soon after our encounter. She's coming here now! To eat! Oh God, I'm trembling!" The three women in front of the counter were stunned.
"Pup, did you feel it?" Ruby needed no clarification so she nodded. Regina gasped before a face-splitting smile settled on the older brunette's lips. The door of the diner opened and Hades walked in confidently, taking a seat at the booth across the room. Regina gaped, "That's her?"
Ruby nodded, "She pretty, right?"
"Pretty? She's sexy as hell… okay, there's the homosexual tendencies I was talking about." Snow frowned at Regina, who narrowed her eyes in response.
"That's an ironic choice of words considering she's the former queen of the Underworld." Ruby let out a small insecure, nervous laugh. She wiped her sweaty palms on her apron. The women turned to her and widened their eyes.
'Well," Emma tilted her head, "Are you gonna go serve her?"
"Yeah, yes, I mean, she's just a woman, right?" Ruby grabbed a menu and utensils before walking towards the booth slowly, muttering to herself, "Just a perfect woman who might be my true love. No pressure, you moron."
Ruby could feel three pairs of eyes following her every move and turned to glare at her friends quickly before reaching the booth. Hades looked up as soon as she arrived and revealed a blinding smile.
"I see the service is a bit better today," Hades joked shakily, "Your eyes are open at least."
Ruby felt her anxiety melt away, realizing that the woman might be just as nervous as she was, "Give me a few minutes, I just ate lunch and food makes me practically drop dead."
Hades laughed huskily, "So maybe I should stick around?"
Ruby smiled, placing the menu in front of her crush, "Yeah, you definitely should."
Regina poked her cookie dough cupcakes with a toothpick and watched as the tiny, wooden tester came out clean. She pulled the tray from the oven and carefully removed each round cupcake onto a cooling rack. It was Sunday evening, girls night, and the older brunette had no idea what that entailed. She assumed it would be an adult version of a sleepover so she scoured the computer looking for ideas and tips to 'spice up the night'.
Cosmopolitan said to 'Hole up in your kitchen with a friend or two and attempt to invent the next brownie-like concoction, filled with your favorite junk foods. Cookie dough or candy bar cupcakes? There's no way this could turn out badly'. Regina was skeptical but she figured she had no clue what to do anyway and rolled with it.
The sorceress saw that alcohol was a must for any girl's night but after Snow-Gate, Regina hesitated and decided not to. She hoped that someone else would bring some so that she can drink but not get blamed by Snow for any possible indiscretions that may float out of the pixie-haired woman's mouth.
Regina snapped out of her thoughts in order to go over her checklist once more:
Henry taken to Charming? Check.
Put on sexy lingerie for Emma's pleasure after the girl's leave? Check.
Junk Food? Check.
Ridiculous anxiety? Triple check.
Regina paced nervously. She never had friends like this. Sure, she had been friendly with Maleficent in the Enchanted Forest but they were never the type of friends that gossiped or painted each other's nails. They schemed and plotted and had sex that one time. So, this was new for the former queen and her stomach was in knots.
A knock sounded at the door and she practically flew to the foyer. She stood before the door and shook her arms and tilted her neck back and forth. Everyone would be in a room together, playing silly games and eating junk. Simple. The Evil Queen could do this. Regina swung open the door and, before she could blink, was engulfed in a fierce hug.
"Hello, Pup." Regina smiled, all her nerves faded. They were her friends. They loved her the way she was. No need to pretend.
"Hey, Gina!" Ruby pulled back but still held onto Regina's left elbow lightly as she searched her bag, "I brought alcohol… oh, more alcohol… and can you guess? Some more alcohol!"
Regina smirked impishly, "This should get interesting."
"Snow-Gate 2.0," Ruby chuckled as they made their way into the mansion and to the study, "Where is everybody?"
"Emma called and said that Charming was making a big stink about the fact that he wasn't invited." Regina said as she took the bottle of vodka that Ruby handed her and placed it in the small, ice-filled cooler Regina had bought the day before.
"Aw, Charming! He could come if he wants. I'm sure Granny could watch Henry."
"That's what I told Emma but Snow refused, said she needed a night away." Ruby sighed.
"Well, they do practically spend every second of every day together." The wolf stated before the bell rang and Regina went to let in Emma and Snow. The three came back and Emma dropped herself onto the couch and slouched.
"Longest three hours of my life." Emma gave Regina a meaningful look in order to communicate the real meaning behind her sentence. Every minute away from you feels like an hour. Regina felt a blush color her cheeks and she gave Emma a smoldering look. Down Regina.
"I brought something fun!" Snow announced as she whipped out several sheets of stapled paper, "I figured we could play 20 questions but the naughty version."
Emma groaned and shook her head, "Ew, mom. And what's with the paper?"
"Oh, these are suggestion questions but we could deviate!" Snow settled herself on the couch across from Emma and Regina, next to Ruby.
"Fine, but can we not ask Snow anything. I don't need to hear that. Plus, I'd like to be able to look dad in the eye tomorrow." Emma exhaled.
"I don't think you'll be leaving the bedroom tomorrow." Ruby snorted. The couple had the decency to look guilty. Snow smiled.
"Oh my God, you're having sex tonight for the first time? Oh, you have to tell me how it goes!" Snow shrieked excitedly, pouting at Emma, who looked disgusted.
"Jesus! Mom no! And Ruby, stop it!" Emma covered her face. Regina took mercy on her girlfriend.
"Are we going to play or what?" The oldest brunette asked as she poured some vodka in glasses and began handing them out.
"Okay! I have one!" Ruby shouted, "Regina, have you ever watched porn? And you can't lie, Emma will know."
Emma straightened and stared at Regina. Maybe this game would be interesting after all. Snow giggled and began sipping from her glass. Everyone else cringed, knowing the transition had begun.
"One day, during the curse but after Henry, Dr. Whale called me a MILF," Emma snorted, "I was so curious so I looked it up on the internet and I clicked on a link that said 'Busty MILF's Learn New Tricks'. I noticed that something downloaded and I opened it. I thought it was an educational video on the subject of MILF's."
"It was educational alright." Ruby teased. All three of the women listening were holding in laughs.
"Suddenly, the two older females began kissing and I was entranced so I kept watching. It was amazing to me that two women were having sex and it was being broadcasted around the world. In the Enchanted Forest, an inkling of homosexuality could get you killed," Snow nodded in agreement, "And it was liberating for me."
"That was the only time?" Ruby questioned seriously. Regina shook her head.
"No, I became a bit obsessed. I would watch at least one video every day until one day I almost got caught by a six year old Henry," Snow gasped, "I stopped after that. I was afraid Henry would figure out that I was gay and shun me."
"Holy shit." Emma whispered. She felt bad for her girlfriend but at the same time, she was very proud that Regina was opening up to someone other than her and Ruby. She knew it had to be difficult to talk about personal things with Snow in the room.
"I know, way to start off Gina. I don't know how we're gonna top that." Ruby snatched the papers from Snow and perused through them.
"Whose next?" Ruby looked up as Emma raised her hand. She threw the sheets at Emma, who barely caught them before they hit the ground. Emma scanned quickly then grinned.
"I found one I can actually ask you, mom," Emma cleared her throat, "Have you ever fantasized about a celebrity from this realm?"
Snow tilted her head in thought before straightening, "Yes! George Clooney!"
"So vanilla." Regina teased as Emma took a sip from her glass, barely holding in the liquid after hearing her.
Emma passed the sheet to the brunette next to her, who placed them on her lap and rubbed her hand together as if she was formulating an evil plot, "Ruby, what's your favorite body part on a female?"
"The ass, the rump, the backside and Gina, you have a rocking booty that's perfect for squeezing." Ruby winked, blowing a kiss in her direction. Emma felt her chest tighten with anger but Regina leaned closer to her, almost as if she knew that the comment bothered her.
"Ruby," Regina warned as she passed the sheet to Snow. Emma relaxed, feeling Regina's hand slide up her thigh.
"Okay," Snow drawled slowly before exhaling, "Emma, what was your first time like?"
"It's so awkward to see those words come from your mouth," Snow shrugged as she stood to refill her glass, "You might want to ease off on the alcohol, huh? Remember last night?"
"I'll be fine. Don't change the subject. We all answered honestly, it's your turn now." Snow admonished and Emma felt like a pimply teenager that stayed out past curfew.
"Alright, alright. First time was with Neal in the backseat of the Bug." The women scrunched up their noses.
"Was he at least good?" Ruby questioned, itching behind her knee and tucking an errant hair behind her ear.
"Nah, it sucked. But I say that the only time that matters is the first time with the love of your life," Emma peeked at Regina in her peripheral and smiled, embarrassed for being so sappy in front of Ruby and Snow. But, when she saw Regina's eyes water and a smile light up her face, she knew she did good. Then she thought about it and realized that those words must have struck a cord with the brunette. Regina's first was Leopold. And Emma knew that Regina had no control over that. But Emma knew that their first time would be the one that matters, the one that lasts in memory and heart, the one Regina would choose for herself.
Emma's chest tightened with love and she continued, "It's like the great Derek Shepherd, may he rest in peace, said 'it was like I'd never kissed any other woman before. It was like my first kiss. The right kiss'. And he's right. When I kissed Regina the first time, I was giddy like a school girl."
"Oh Emma," Regina whispered, leaning over to kiss the blonde gently, "I love you."
"I love you too, My Queen." The two nuzzled noses.
"You two are going to make my teeth rot." Ruby teased but her eyes were glistening and her lips were pouting subconsciously.
The women heard a nasally sob and turned to see Snow crying freely, hiccupping and clutching at her chest, "My baby girl is so charming and in love! I'm so happy!"
Emma groaned, throwing a tissue box at her mother.
A/N: Let's hope for a good episode next week Swen!