Sorry I decided that my update day would be Friday night and then I forgot oops!
This is hell.
Why am I still here?
What purpose does this actually serve?
Come on Doc I thought you were the man with all the answers!
To help me come to terms with what happened?
You make it sound like I've suffered a great loss.
Well actually when you think of it like that, I guess I have.
An innocent man is being persecuted for something he did not commit.
You people make me sick.
To think I used to have respect for you.
I can't believe I'm being forced to sit here and be expect to spill my guts to you.
Last session went well?
Well I'm so glad to hear that.
No I'm not being sarcastic…
Fine.
What is it that you want to know today then?
Oh just continue with the story?
You make it sound like a nice little fairy tale Doc.
Okay okay I'll stop being confrontational!
Well let's think,
Oh yeah
The discovery…
How long have I been here now?
Just try and think Hermione
A week, two weeks, three weeks?
Longer than that I think.
Every day just blurs into one.
I guess it's getting easier, I have this little routine now.
I wake up early, Snape makes sure I have something to eat (how kind of him!), reprimands me for my rudeness and reminds me of my rules and regulations, he then leaves, I do the bare minim of what is expected then spend the rest of the day searching for a way out, he then returns home, we eat together in silence, sometimes he leaves again, sometimes he stays, later on I'm dragged to my room if I happen to still be up, I spend a few hours more plotting, then force myself to sleep, then I wake and the whole day repeats itself.
Quite simple really…
Right on cue Snape barges through my door.
"Get up! I'l be late and you need to eat" he barks at me, pulling me out of the bed.
I try to cover myself, feeling self conscious in just my night dress.
He sneers at me, pissed off with having to touch me.
At least that's one blessing about being in this hell hole, Snape has never acted in that manor towards me.
Not that, that makes him a good guy of course.
"Move" He shoves me towards the door, his hand heavy on my back.
I shiver from his touch, wrenching myself away from him.
I'm not making things easy for him.
"Why am I here?" I ask in a tired tone.
It's a question I ask him every day, but one I never receive a response from.
I wish I could be a Legilimens like him.
He rolls his eyes at me, taking a seat at the small warn oak table.
"Sit" He commands, and I do so begrudgingly.
I hope the Order discover me soon, surely they would think to search the castle?
I mean its crazy that I can be kept here and no-one expects anything.
What the fuck is going on?
"No-one is looking for you Granger get over it"
I snap my eyes to him
"T-that's not true! The Order will be here before you know it, and you'll be a dead man"
He scoffs at me, not taking anything I say seriously.
I won't cry in front of him.
I won't give him the satisfaction.
I won't let him know how much this is getting to me.
Just breathe Hermione.
He pours me a glass of pumpkin juice, and I suppress the urge to throw it back in his face…again.
"Good girl, you're learning" He mocks me, and we both cast our thoughts back to when I first arrived, each morning he would fill my goblet up with juice and each morning it would be flung straight back at him.
I'm not caving in.
He won't break me down.
It's just easier to start the morning if I don't cause too many problems.
The more time he spends here, the less time there is for me finding my escape.
I quickly jar the thought out of my mind incase he is using oclumency on me.
Raising the goblet to my lips I drain it and take a piece of toast that is in front of me.
Snape watches lazily in his chair, a smirk on his lips.
Panic starts to rise within me, why is he looking at me like that?
Was that laced with poison?
Shit.
"Really Granger if I was going to kill you at breakfast don't you think I would have done us both the favour and done it by now?"
Bastard.
Fucking bastard.
"Indeed" He stands up, flicking his wand the plate and goblet in front of him disappear.
I sit still and chew silently on my toast.
"Today I need you to dust the bookshelves, mop the floor again and make sure the beds are made. I'm sure you'll be capable of managing that" He pauses, analysing me "Then I need you to write me a 7,000 word
"essay on Everlasting Elixirs and evaluate how useful they are"
Hold on a minute…
He expects me to write an essay?
Why on earth?
He's never told me to write him an essay before.
"Yes Granger an essay, or is that not enough for our resident know-it-all?" he snaps.
It's my turn to scoff at him, "An essay? Really? So let me get this straight, you kidnap me and hold me here against my will for me to do your fucking housework and write you an essay?" My voice gets more shrill with every syllable.
I've lost it.
I can't stop laughing.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I catch sight of Snape's thunderous face and that just makes me laugh even harder.
An essay?
Calm down Hermione.
Is this overgrown bat for real?
Ouch!
An invisible hand slaps me hard across the face.
"Get a grip. If I ask you to do something you do it!" Snape grits his teeth, a vein throbs at his temple.
I rub my cheek, the pain stings away at me.
"Anyway this essay will give you something to do other than housework, I thought you would be happy? Unless there is something better you could be doing?"
The way he looks at me, a fake look of innocence.
He knows.
The git knows.
"You'll find parchment and a quill in the top draw of my desk…although I'm sure you already know that"
I scowl at him, refusing to stoop to his level.
He walks over to the portrait door, mutters something so quiet I can't hear it and the door swings open.
My little glimpse at freedom.
"Have fun now"
He steps outside and the portrait swings tightly shut behind him.
A scream erupts from within me, I could destroy every last thing in this room but I drop to the floor, tears flowing freely down my cheeks, dripping onto the soft carpet.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I FUCKING HATE HIM.
Hours go by, I have done everything he has asked except completing this bloody essay.
I've done about 5,000 words and I'm quite proud of it, especially as I have no textbook to guide me.
At first I was stubborn and thought he could stick his essay up his arse, but then what's the use?
Where would that get me?
I need to get out of here alive.
If I refuse too much then it will just make things worse.
Who knows what Snape would do to me then?
I'm not giving in to him.
Deciding it's time for a small break, I leave his desk and go get myself a glass of water.
I hear footsteps approaching the portrait.
Shit he's back.
I chew my lip, my nerves on edge.
"Hurry up before he catches us!"
"Neville are you sure this will work?"
I freeze.
Wait a moment that's Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood…
Oh my God!
I'm finally going to be rescued from here.
Thank you Merlin!
I run towards the portrait and start banging my fists against it's hard frame.
"HELP! NEVILLE, LUNA I'M IN HERE! HELP IT'S HERMIONE"
I stop screaming, my ear pressed to the door but I can hear every word clearly.
"Like Snape is going to keep his chambers unlocked"
"Look Cho if you're not willing to try then you can piss off"
"GUY'S IT'S ME HERMIONE! I DON'T HAVE MY WAND TRY AN UNLOCKING CHARM IF THAT DOESN'T WORK TRY—-"
"Ginny…"
"I don't want to get expelled"
"STOP ARGUING AND PLEASE LET ME OUT!"
Why aren't they responding to me?
Then the penny drops, dread curls through my veins.
They can't hear me…
Do they even know I'm in here?
They must suspect something! Why else would they be here?
"Stop being such a whining bitch, we can't let that cunt be in charge of Hogwarts"
"Ginny!"
Huh?
I blink, astonished partly by Ginny's foul language but more from what she said.
In charge of Hogwarts?
Surely she can't mean Snape?
Why would Snape be in charge of Hogwarts?
However I'm not kept wondering for long…
"Dumbledore's dead you need to get over it, what will breaking into his chambers achieve exactly? Apart from getting us all kicked out"
I sink to the floor, everything is knocked out of me.
Dumbledore dead?
No that can't be true.
The greatest wizard in history dead?
I don't believe it.
I don't.
I can't.
My thoughts are everywhere.
Exactly how long have I been trapped here?
Where is Harry and Ron?
Why are they not with my former classmates?
Terror seizes me, oh God please don't let them be dead too.
Tears stream down my face again.
I curl my knees to my chest and listen to the voices outside still arguing.
"Just leave"
"Ginny you need to calm down! Cho don't"
"I'm out of here, get yourselves in trouble for all I care"
"Cho.."
"Just let her go Neville, we don't need her"
"Alohamora"
My heart lifts slightly but deep down I know it's useless, nothing will work against whatever magic Snape has installed.
"Did it work?"
"Shit"
"Try Portaberto"
"Wait what was that noise? Is someone down here?"
"Stop being so bloody paranoid. Portaberto"
"Nothing damn it!"
"Shh there is someone here I can feel it"
"Neville stop scaring everyone!"
"And what do you three think you're doing down here?"
I leap back from the door.
Fuck they've been caught.
I shake in fear, deliberating what he will do to them.
"Professor we—"
"SILENCE!"
Snape's voice ripples through the solid door, piercing me to the very core.
"Now then what do you suppose I do with three nosy little Gryffindor's like you?"
I hear Neville start to form a response
"That is a rhetorical question Longbottom I do not expect an answer, especially not from the likes of you. Dear Merlin what actually fills the inside of your head because it's certainly not a brain!"
"Arsehole"
"Oh dear Miss Weasley attitude like that won't get you anywhere, consider that an extra detention with me tomorrow night where we can work on appropriate language to a Professor. Now I want all three of you to report to Professor McGonagall's office immediately, I will be notifying her of your despicable behaviour. You will all serve two weeks worth of detention at lunch and dinner. 50 points will be taken from Gryffindor each, be thankful it's not more. Now leave".
My heart sinks further when I hear footsteps hastily retreating.
"Oh and Mr Longbottom the next time you consider yourself being a hero, just think about the state your parents…"
The utter cruel bastard.
How could he say that about Neville's parents?
The door clicks open and I scramble to my feet, not prepared for his arrival.
Sweeping into the room, he shuts the door behind him, his eyes seem darker than usual.
"Get in your room now" His voice is deadly, his expression unreadable.
I don't know what to do.
Should I stay?
Should I go?
I stand there shaking.
Fight?
Flight?
Fight?
Flight?
"Fine" He curls his lips at me and storms out of the room, I hear his door slam like lightning.
I'm unable to move, unable to believe that he didn't manhandle me, throw me into my room against my will.
The thoughts inside my head whirl about.
I need answers.
More than ever.
They said Dumbledore is dead and Snape is headmaster.
How can that be?
Snape re-enters the room a short while later.
He seems resigned, but I'm not.
I'm ready.
Ready to fight.
I open my mouth to start the inquisition but he cuts me off.
"I had to speak to Minerva about the incident, I didn't have time to stand there arguing with you" He takes a seat in his armchair, staring off into space.
I close my mouth in shock.
Since when does Snape tell me anything?
Usually I'm just commanded about and chided.
"What happened to Professor Dumbledore?"
The question just tumbles out of my mouth and I shift from one foot to another dreading his response.
He doesn't even look at me, doesn't even answer me, just continues his unrelenting stare.
I won't be perturbed by his lack of response, I need to know what happened.
Taking a deep breath I decide to take a stab in the dark, anything to draw a response out from him.
"You killed him didn't you?"
He quickly looks up at me and I think you've really done it now Hermione.
Running his hand through his hair, he mummers one tiny word.
"Yes."
That one tiny word lingers between us, out in the open, unable to hide anywhere.
He breaks eye contact from me and closes his eyes.
I can almost see pain on his face.
He doesn't get to feel pain over this.
"YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" I explode, taking myself by surprise "HE TRUSTED YOU!"
His eyes snap open, the look of pure loathing returns.
"You don't even know the half of it!"
"Because you never tell me anything!" I exclaim, wringing my hands.
He stands up, goes to grab me but I move backwards avoiding his reach.
"You are a stupid and foolish child, how could you even comprehend what I—"
"I am not a child Snape, I am eighteen years old!"
He glares at me, his eyes narrowing.
"Do you think I'm stupid Miss Granger? How can you possibly be eighteen?"
I lift my chin up at him, adamant I won't back down and feel small.
"The time turner back in my third year it—"
He holds up his hand "Yes I get the picture"
I hold onto the mantlepiece I'm now standing by, trying to steady myself for the next bout of questions.
"So why did you kill him?" I rush through the words, not wanting to dwell on their meaning for too long.
Snape starts walking towards me, my heartbeat increases with each step.
"Why do you think?" He looks at me darkly, my skin starts to prickle with sweat.
Oh God.
"B-because you're a death eater" I whisper, scared of what may happen next.
He get's closer to me and I try to increase the distance, but my back hits the wall behind me.
Shit.
Why the hell did I decide to ask him?
I should have just left it.
I'm sure there would have been other ways of finding out…
He stands far too close to me, his breath hot against my skin.
My heart thunders in my chest.
Dear Merlin what have I done?
His eyes bore into mine, I break eye contact feeling uncomfortable.
"Look" he grabs my chin roughly in one hand, the other rolls up the sleeve of his left arm.
I shudder when I see what is revealed.
The mark of pure evil, forever burned onto the skin of the upmost cruel.
The dark mark.
I squirm, trying to get my head out of his grasp.
He laughs softly, amused by reaction.
"Are you scared Miss Granger? And I thought Gryffindor's were meant to be brave?" His voice is mocking, an underlying hint of judgement.
I hate that he is laughing at me.
Laughing at what he is.
Laughing at what he has done.
He lets go of me, rolling his sleeve back down.
"Lost your tongue Granger?" He raises an eyebrow at me.
I refuse to answer, pride swells within me.
I'm not going to give that bastard a reason to mock me further.
I need to stay strong, keep my head together, it's the only way I'm going to get out of here alive.
"What makes you so confident that you're going to get out of here alive?"
Then he laughs, cold and uncaring.
I fucking hate it when he reads my mind.
My teeth grind together but I won't give in to him.
"Oh dear" he simply comments before twisting a hand in my bushy hair, dragging me off to my room.
Ow.
Fuckfuckfuck.
Why does he always do this to me?
Maybe he could just try asking?
He pushes me through the frame, and I stumble over the rug.
"The less you know the better Hermione"
The door clicks shut behind me and my mind is reeling.
Hermione?
Since when did he call me Hermione?
What does he mean the less I know the better?
My brain hurts too much, I can't see properly.
I find my way over to my bed and collapse.