Chapter 17
A day or two became a month. Twenty-eight days of Emma avoiding Regina, who already accepted that the relationship was over even though it hadn't been declared. Emma kept communication to a minimum and it usually was about Henry. After a week, Regina stopped trying, figuring that she would let Emma come to her. But she never did and each moment without the blonde killed a bit of her soul. Henry tried spending more time at the mansion. He had been upset with Emma, who wasn't talking about the situation at all, but Regina convinced him that he needed to see his Ma.
Snow and Charming attempted to act as if nothing was wrong. They made breakfast, smiled, joked, and talked about everything but Regina. Emma knew it was a façade. They talked to the brunette everyday when they paid Regina daily visits. It was an unspoken rule that no one mentioned the brunette to the blonde.
Ruby, though, glared every morning and refused to serve her unless Granny wasn't around to do it. When she did serve Emma, she purposely screwed up the order, going as far as to put salt in her coffee or forgo the cinnamon on her hot chocolate. She wasn't the only one that didn't seem happy with the savior. The entire town was tense around her.
Emma could feel their stares, their questions. What're you doing? What's going on? Why haven't you talked to Regina?
Emma was asking herself the same questions. Honestly, she forgave Regina three days after finding out because she came to the realization that Regina wasn't like that anymore but couldn't bring herself to talk to the brunette. It was like she was afraid that their relationship would feel different. She was scared to face the brunette and the longer the separation got, the greater her fear got. It was a sick cycle.
Then there was Hook, who took such pleasure in watching Emma deteriorate. He knew the damage he did and he loved it. It made her want to punch his pretty face.
So, the separation grew and Emma felt herself slip into a depression that could easily have been fixed by going over to Mifflin and apologizing for stringing it out. They would talk. Regina would show remorse and apologize profusely. Emma would apologize for torturing her with the silent treatment and ignoring her. They'd kiss and have amazing sex. It should be simple.
But it wasn't because Emma was scared and a terrified Emma is an Emma that runs. It was funny because she had never been so fearful, yet she couldn't leave, her feet planted firmly on the ground, and not just because of Henry. Everyday, Emma would pass by the mansion in an attempt to catch a glance at the brunette. Weirdly enough, the mansion was always dark. Henry started spending all his time in the loft, locked in his room. Sometimes, Emma would hear him talking quietly and she heard him say 'mom'. So, the blonde knew Regina was talking to their son. So where was she? It made Emma's stomach churn to not know Regina's whereabouts. What if she got hurt? What if someone hurt her? She geared up to ask her parents questions about the brunette that she missed dearly. Was Regina just as miserable as her?
She got her answer on the twenty-seventh day of separation. She got home late from the station because they finally came up with a solution for the Hook issue. He would be placed under the library and Rumple would place strict blood magic barriers that would make it impossible to break out. He would suffer a lonely existence. So, when she got home at 12:20 am and saw her parent's bedroom lamps on, she snuck in quietly to eavesdrop, hoping to catch a tidbit of information on her love.
"I have to go to her," Snow whispered as she shuffled around the room, "I'll take the Snow Queen's scroll and I'll be back before you know it."
"Snow," Charming sighed, "She left town in order to get away from the Emma… situation. It was a minor car accident. She called us herself and said all she needed was stitches on her leg."
Emma's eyes widened with worry as Snow responded, "David, she's feeling lost! She needs to come home so we can care for her. Henry is worried. He told me that Regina was sounding strange, talking about how this life would never go her way and that maybe the next one would be better. She stopped checking in with Ruby and me. She's scaring me!"
"I understand that but are we really going to drive all the way to New York at this time? She's fine! We can go tomorrow. We'll tell Emma that you've been wanting to see more of this realm." Charming stated calmly but Snow continued packing. Emma froze. Regina was in New York, depressed and lonely. Emma felt a ball form in her throat, the guilt seizing her lungs. Her baby was alone in an unforgiving city because she couldn't handle seeing Emma ignore her at the diner, decline her phone calls, and pretend to not see her when Regina waved. Emma covered mouth as tears began streaming down her face.
"You don't have to do anything David but I'm going now!" Snow picked up her small suitcase and began her trek to the door, only to be shocked with the sight of Emma on the floor, sobbing, "Emma!"
Charming ran to his daughter and bent down to her level, "Emma?"
"Where is she?" Emma screeched, "I need to see her. I can't do this anymore! I can't live without her any longer!"
"Emma—" Snow sighed disapprovingly.
"No! Please just tell me where she is in New York. Please." Charming looked at his wife, who succinctly nodded.
"She's staying in Neal's old apartment." Charming slumped against his wife's side, who stared at Emma with a pleading look, practically asking her to make things right with her dark eyes.
Emma broke several traffic laws.
Emma was seated on the messy bed in Neal's apartment, chewing on her fingernails and bouncing her leg incessantly. Regina wasn't in the apartment when Emma arrived at 7:03 am. Emma had broken in using an old trick she learned from Henry's father. The apartment was basically the same as they had left it when they warned Robin about Zelena. Anyone would have though the place was abandoned but Emma could smell Regina's perfume in the air and it brought tears to her eyes. She missed Regina so much. She just wanted to hug her, kiss her, and make love to her.
Emma heard footsteps approaching the door and she hid in the bathroom off to the side when she heard more than one voice, preparing for a break-in, which was ironic because she had been the one breaking in not fifteen minutes before. Emma heard the door swing open slowly.
"Use the crutches!" She heard a female admonish. She pressed her back against the tilted bathroom wall.
"I am, Jen." Emma shivered with delight when she heard Regina's husky tone.
"I could stay and help you out. I'm not really needed at work anyway. I could call in sick." The woman, Jen, said softly. Emma could see the bedroom from behind the bathroom door, through the crack on the left side. She watched Regina come into view. Emma gasped silently. Regina was littered with bruises all over her arms and chest, her leg was bandaged, and she had dark circles under her eyes. Emma felt tears gather in her emerald eyes. The savior didn't protect her love like she promised she would.
"It's okay. I'm just going to take one of those pain pills, lay down for a bit, and maybe make some calls. Go. Thank you for your extreme hospitality." Regina smiled shyly at the Emma Swan carbon copy, who frowned thoughtfully.
"Regina, I hit you with my car because I was texting and you were nice enough to not call the police. Your car is totaled and you needed ten stitches on your leg. I'd say accompanying you to and from the hospital and keeping you company was the least I could do." Regina smiled lightly before nodding.
"It was nice to meet you, even though the circumstances could have been better." The brunette extended her hand and the bitch, as Emma decided to call her, eagerly took the hand and held for a bit to long.
"We could meet again under better circumstances," Regina furrowed her brows at the blonde's words, "Have dinner with me?"
Emma's hand clenched and she watched with rapt attention. Did she lose Regina? She saw the brunette smile apologetically.
"Jen, you're great," Emma tensed, "But I just got out of a relationship and I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Now's not a good time."
Emma didn't think she could tense anymore but hearing Regina refer to their relationship as over really fucked her up. Jen sighed, "I get it. So this girl must have been special, huh?"
"She was the greatest woman I've ever had the privilege of meeting and I screwed it up like I always do," Regina frowned and gulped, "Again, thank you and if you could lock the door on the way out, I'd really appreciate it."
Jen grinned as she scribbled down something on the back of a paper and placed it on the bed beside the brunette, "If you change your mind or feel ready, call me. It's been genuinely nice talking to you. Goodbye Regina."
"Goodbye." Regina watched the woman walk away, only letting her emotions show when the door clicked shut. Emma watched Regina double over, her elbows propped on her knees and her closed fists under her chin, keeping her head up. The brunette peered at the paper Jen scribbled her number on and sighed. She stood shakily, balancing on one foot, and hopped to the trash, where she unceremoniously dumped the paper. Emma slowly made her way out of the bathroom while Regina's back was turned.
"I'm glad you didn't take her up on her offer." Emma stated softly, not wanting to scare her love. Regina jumped anyway but gripped the desk next to trash bin and stayed upright. She didn't turn to face the blonde and Emma felt her heart race.
"Emma?" Regina rasped, sounding emotional.
"Yeah baby," Emma whispered as her eyes crinkled with happiness… until Regina turned and glared at her, "Baby?"
"Now I'm baby?" Regina sighed, her eyes softening, "Emma, what're you doing here?"
Emma stilled. The reception wasn't too hot and Emma whispered, "I missed you."
Wrong choice of words, apparently, because Regina started sobbing. When Emma began walking towards the crying woman, a firm hand in the air halted her. Regina wiped her eyes and sniffed hastily. It was like she was trying to get herself under control, not wanting to break down in front of Emma.
"Oh my God, you don't trust me." Emma stated, her widened eyes darting between Regina's chocolate one's.
"I trust you but I'm a bit upset with you right now. I don't trust your words. You say such sweet things and then you hurt me by ignoring me, acting like I don't exist. You know that that's exactly how I felt with the King? Like a painting on the wall that was to be stared at but not really appreciated."
That hurt. She never wanted to be mentioned in the same sentence as Leopold ever again. Emma sighed self deprecatingly.
"I begged you not to give me false hope and you did," Regina continued, "You ignored me like I was nothing and you know how that made me feel? Like I didn't matter to you. Like I don't matter."
"Regina," Emma cried, reaching for the brunette's hand and holding it once the blonde was sure that Regina wasn't going to pull away, "I got scared. I forgive—forgave-you three days after I found out. I thought about you constantly and I realized that you were sorry for those things and that you've changed. I knew who you were back then and that woman was cold and vicious. But this Regina, my Regina, she's sorry and she want's to make up for her mistakes and she didn't deserve what I did, okay? I'm sorry."
Regina sniffed again and her face contorted sadly, "So what? You forgave me but decided to treat me like shit so that I could hurt the way that you were hurt by his passing?"
"No!" Emma shouted desperately, "No, God, no. I… I don't know why I didn't speak to you right away—"
"That's reassuring," Regina sighed and crossed her arms as if trying to protect herself or her heart, "You should go back home Emma."
Emma stiffened, "Gina, I want you to come back with me, please. I need to make this right because I've been miserable and I know you have too. I can't take being away from you for another second. Please."
"You seemed to do just fine without me for a month." Regina's voice faltered and Emma knew she was close to crying again.
"Then you weren't looking close enough."
"That's probably because you didn't let me near you, Emma." Regina blinked rapidly, trying to stifle tears.
"Regina," The blonde whimpered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was scared that our dynamics would change, that our relationship would change, that—"
"That when you saw me after my confession, you wouldn't feel love." Regina stated.
"Are you out of your fucking mind? Of course I'd feel love! I love you!" Emma yelled, "I'll always love you. Always. I needed space to think and when I forgave you, I was afraid that the information would break us but it didn't! I love you so much and I was miserable without you. I drove by the mansion every night, I sprayed your perfume on my pillows, I listened to your classical music crap, and I couldn't sleep. I needed you but I was a coward."
"It's not crap." Regina whispered, a small tug of her red lips made Emma smile widely.
"Huh?" Emma moved forward and sat down on the bed gently.
"Classical music. It's not crap." Emma laughed, genuinely for the first time in nearly a month. Regina smiled shyly.
"Gina, come home with me. We can go on more dates and I could romance you like you wouldn't believe." Emma reached forward to tuck a rogue brown hair behind an ear.
"I don't need romance Emma. I just want you to want me. I need you to care about my feelings. I need you to understand me. I need you." Emma sighed with relief before smashing their lips together passionately. They both moaned.
"I love you, Gina. I'm sorry for hurting you." Emma nuzzled their noses together.
"I love you too. I'm sorry about Graham, truly." Emma nodded sincerely and Regina released a breath, she felt all her worries melt away when Emma sealed their lips together again.
"Let's go home." Emma cradled her face, placing several kisses to Regina's suspecting mouth.
"You expect me to ride seven hours in that death trap again?" Regina teased lightly.
"You survived the last time." Emma volleyed back. Regina raised a perfect eyebrow.
"Barely." Emma chuckled in defeat, remembering the Bug screeching into a ditch in order to avoid a wolf.
"Touché."
A/N: I can't believe I stayed up to 1:30 am to write this and I have a final tomorrow. I had the writing bug I guess. So, all mistakes are from my sleep-deprived brain. Anyway, enjoy!