I really love this chapter, i loved writing it i loved reading it, i hope you do too. Onwards.

"And my body's weak
Feel my heart giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
And my body's weak
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
Something my soul needs"
-Flesh and Bones, Keaton Henson

When they woke up the next morning with hammers against their skulls, they did not regret it. Lindir did not regret because with his head pounding and dizzy, he could not feel the pain in his heart, only in his head, and Haldir did not regret it because it was the least he could do for his friend in need. They looked at each other and fell off the bed laughing, taking in each other's dishevelled and pained state, it was a good laugh until the pounding in their head came back at full force. Empty bottles of wine decorated the room floor, along with two goblets of spilled wine over the edge of the bed.

When they managed to make themselves look presentable, they stumbled out the door towards the healers. After the healers they headed for breakfast, head still spinning but with less pounding, the healers wanted them to deal with the consequences of abusing wine. "Haldir, Lindir! Come, sit with us." Lindir heard a melodious voice call to them. "My Lady Celebrían, it would be our pleasure." Haldir bowed to the lady, followed by Lindir giving a quick bow 'I cannot deal with this with my head pounding so early in the morning…' Lindir thought to himself, but he sat down anyway, it wouldn't do to be so obviously avoiding Celebrían. "You both seem to be in a jolly good mood this morning." Glorfindel chuckled at their glares.

"I am terribly sorry I was not present to welcome you to Imladris four days past, my lord and my ladies." Lindir dipped his head in Galadriel's family's direction. "It is no matter, I heard you have fallen ill, I would rather you rest than to greet us, there are plenty of others to do that." Celebrían smiled good naturedly at Lindir. 'Diplomatic diplomatic diplomatic diplomatic' Lindir repeated to himself in his head 'she is as beautiful as I thought she would be'. "Yes, your health is of most importance Lindir, I am glad you have recovered." Galadriel's airy voice smoothed over him, Lindir paused. Did she have a double meaning in what she had just said? Did she meant that she was glad that he got over Elrond? Well he certainly wasn't over Elrond if that was what she was thinking. And he most certainly hasn't recovered from his heartache and most likely never will.

Erestor diverted their attention from Lindir when he saw his friend pause, Galadriel certainly do not choose her words well. He pushed plates of sweets and pastries in front of Lindir, best way to cure a broken heart is by eating, he nudged his side to wake him from his thinking. Lindir jumped slightly at the nudge and looked over at his friend, who looked pointedly at the plate of sweet in front of him, Lindir dug in. The morning was spent with idle chatter and Lindir excusing himself early, stating his wish to rest a little more before he went about the day, Erestor went with him.

"I wish to bathe, are you joining me Erestor?" Lindir asked his friend cheekily. "I will wash your back." Erestor huffed at Lindir's cheek. They went into the attached bathing chambers and stripped of their robes, both sinking into the bath water easily. Erestor had been bathing with Lindir ever since he was but a babe, there was nothing he hasn't seen before.

There was silence as Erestor lathered up Lindir's brown locks and massaged his scalp, only when they both turned around for Lindir to wash Erestor's hair did Lindir speak. "She is nice." He said nonchalantly. "Aye." Erestor replied, not knowing what else to say, he just wanted to be there for his friend. "I can be her friend." Lindir said again after a stretch of silence, "She will need them, since she doesn't know anyone from Imladris." Erestor sighed, he was so sad, his heartbroken friend was still so selfless, always thinking of others before himself, how could anyone throw away such a treasure? "Yes I assume so." He had replied. Then again, silence, as they washed themselves and dried off. Only when he had tucked in his fragile friend, and was headed out the door, did he hear Lindir speak again. "I can do this. I am okay." Erestor wanted to kill Elrond.

Lindir was okay. For the rest of the week and the week after that, he got to know Celebrían. She was a wonderful person, she was nice, caring, joyful, and so full of innocence of life, he could not hate her, not even deep in his heart could he hold even the tiniest bit of resentment towards the wonderful elleth. Only whenever he saw Elrond with her, he would turn around and walk away. His walls were usually up, to block his emotions from showing through, but whenever he saw Elrond walking by her side, holding her hand, or his arm around her waists, he would feel knives and swords stab at his heart, his mind would scream 'That is MY place! He is supposed to hold my hand and hug me close! Not her!' then he would go back to his room and calm himself down, a cup of wine or two, and by night time he would be asleep on his bed with bottles of wine around his bed.

Until one day, he had been composing in a garden that was rarely used by other elves except himself, it was very far from the centre of Imladris and close to the edge of woods. He always came to this garden for a peaceful mind away from noise and people, it was his little haven. When he heard rustling of grass and leaves, he thought nothing of it, probably just some small animals moving about, no other ever visits this garden. Then he heard voices, 'Who is that? For all the time I've been here I have never seen anyone else in this garden.' He sat up straighter in his place against the tree bark, looking out for the intruders on his peace. When the footsteps got closer and he could clearly hear what they were saying, he felt his breakfast threaten to reach back out of his mouth. He knew that voice, that deep timbre that used to tell him the stories of old while he lay back on the bed with his fingers twirled around dark black hair, the voice that he had loved and still do, the voice that used to whisper the owner's love for him, like how he was whispering to the one he loved right now. "I love you my sweet Celebrían." Lindir had never felt as he had felt right then, his heart turned to lead and dropped and dropped, his felt his fingers freeze and his whole being go cold, his legs cramped up as his eyes blurred, he could feel haze in his head as he felt as if his heart stopped and he was suddenly so heavy, so hazy, so lost. Then it was all gone, as he breathed out he felt his soul leave him, all he could feel now was numb, so numb, like he had been dunked in ice water and never resurfaced.

He had not heard Celebrían's replying "And I you my love." And he had not heard them walk around the garden right past him and left, he had not heard as the afternoon bell was sounded. When it started to get dark only then did he move. He gathered up his half written compositions and walked back to his room, he dropped the papers beside the door, not caring as it rumpled and crinkled when it reached the floor, he shucked his outer robes and pulled himself into his bed, sinking his head into his pillow and pulling his blankets over his head. He did not cry, but it was not for a lack of trying, he physically could not, for he felt nothing. As he descended into blissful darkness, he thought of how he wanted to stay there forever, he never wanted to see the light again.

When Lindir never showed up for dinner, Erestor sighed but did nothing, he knew of Lindir's habit of drinking himself into a stupor whenever he felt he could not take it anymore, he would just have breakfast and a soothing draught be sent to his room the next morning. "Is Lindir alright? He's missed lunch and now he's missing dinner again." Celebrían had taken to Lindir, she liked the gentle elf who's smile was soft and sweet and company she cherished, she did feel like he was lacking something, but he never mentioned it so she had never asked. "Do not worry my lady, he will be alright, he likes to overwork himself." Erestor told her. "Even so, it must not be healthy." Celebrían frowned.

Oh my heart, it's so so broken. Feel free to leave comments. I mean it. Feel. Free.