A/N: I am truely humbled by the response to this story. Thank you. Enjoy!

II

Castle's Apartment

Castle & Beckett

"Rick maybe we should call for take out" Kate fretted as Castle moved slowly around his kitchen, pulling out ingredients for dinner.

"Nonsense, I keep a well stocked Larder…."

"Larder, who uses a word like Larder anymore? What's wrong with pantry or cupboard?"

"Well, excuse me Miss Word Snob" Rick jested "Larder is a perfectly serviceable word. I'm just trying to do my part to keep the English language alive. The next generation of college bound seniors will thank me for getting them a few points on their SAT scores"

"I don't think that High School students are your demographic, Rick" Kate was happy, her protests not withstanding, Castle was beginning to open up, to let down his guard and just reside in the moment. Beckett was under no illusions that Castle had experienced a miracle cure. She knew that at least part of this conversion of character was for her benefit. She would permit his little subterfuge because it proved to her that he cared about her enough to try to moderate his moodiness. For a brief instant she wondered what it would be like to do this every day. She had been alone all her adult life and this inclusion into Rick's world felt comforting.

"Detective…" Martha brought Kate out of her reverie. Martha stood at the edge of the kitchen area dressed in eveningwear. "Can I have a word?"

Kate moved overt to join Martha as Richards's mother walker over to the front door.

".I hate to do this to you, but I must leave for a show and Alexis is over at Paige's house for some much needed decompression. The poor girl has not been out of the house except to go to school since Richard came home from the hospital. Don't feel like you have to stay but any time you can give to the cause is much appreciated."

"Don't worry Martha; I'll keep an eye on him. We still have some things to talk over,"

"Don't shock Richard too much." Martha smiled playfully. "And when you get tired of him just excuse yourself and go home. The doctors don't think he will become suicidal."

"Suicidal? Wait, Martha, the doctors said he might try to kill himself?" Kate panicked.

"I'm joking Detective, he is well past the period of time where trauma patients get fixated on suicide. You kids have fun." Martha swept out the door leaving Kate in the vacuum.

"Kate, did Mother give you the old watch out he might commit suicide speech?"

Kate jumped. She had not heard Castle approach. Richard gave a small smile and moved back toward the kitchen. Kate followed mindlessly, a little ill at ease. The aroma of cooking food soothed her somewhat raw nerves. Suddenly his lips were seeking hers again and she lost herself in his kiss. As he pulled her close she instinctively wrapped her arms around him. It surprised her just how natural their kissing had become so quickly. If someone had told her when she first met Richard Castle that is a few short months she would be sharing passionate kisses in his kitchen she would have laid a hefty sum of money against those odds. He flexed his arms and drew her against his body. She could feel him trembling, whether from need or fatigue she could not tell. She pressed her hand gently against his chest and he reluctantly let go.

"Richard…."she whispered.

"Sorry Kate.." he turned ,embarrassed by his actions, and continued to cook.

Kate knew that she had most likely hurt him in some way. Perhaps he felt rejected, or maybe his libido was taking a drubbing because some woman said no to his advances, she did not know, but she felt compelled to try to explain.

"Rick… it's just too soon……"

"Look, Kate, don't worry.. It's okay." He feigned looking at his watch "Kate hold that thought I need to go take my pain meds. I'll be right back I swear." And he fled to the Bathroom.

Closing the door quickly he sat down on the side of the tub and tried to control his breathing. Their impromptu make out session had been great. Kissing her seemed so natural and kissing her made him want more. Right now, in his condition he could not afford to do anything more strenuous than kissing. Kate deserved better. She deserved some one in control, and right now Castle was anything but controlled. He moved to the sink and picked up his pain pills dropped two into his palm and dry swallowed them. He picked up a second bottle and pondered it. Except for a brief time in college and right after his divorce, he had never used any mind altering drugs. Purists would argue that pain medication was mind altering but he did not agree, but the anti-depressants he pondered did. He had used anti-depressants to get over his divorce but only sparingly, to make dealing with his fans bearable, never when in his own home. Was it ok to use them to get through the evening with Kate? He dropped two into his palm.

"Castle, if you're doing that for me, don't" Kate's hand covered the pills in his hand..

Castle looked blankly over at Detective Beckett. The pain behind the blank expression was plainly visible it was the same look of hurt and loneliness she had seen in the hospital. She had also seen that look in her father's eyes after her mother died. How Richard had become so damaged? She did not know, but it was plainly written in his eyes.

"You deserv…." Rick cleared his throat, "you deserve better, Kate"

"How you know what I deserve?"

"I'm broken Kate. You deserve someone whole. You don't need any more Drama in your life."

"Richard, wake up! Everybody is broken in some way. We all have our issues. It's an imperfect world and we are imperfect people, but we get by. When I first me you, I was prepared for the whole 'Bad Boy' thing and you didn't disappoint. What I did not expect was the person behind the image. You would have been one hell of a cop. You got the intelligence and the instinct and while your empathy for the victim could use a little work your drive for the truth is outstanding. I have been partnered with more that half a dozen men and women while I have been on the force, but there has been only one partner that I felt fully in sync with, and that is you."

"Why Kate I never…" Castle began to sway "Uh Oh, Kate help me to the couch. The pain meds just kicked in and I haven't eaten anything at all today….."

When Castle came back to himself he was lying down. He was fairly sure that he was lying down on the couch. His head was resting on something warm. He became aware that Kate was resting his head on her lap. She seemed to be gently tracing his face with her fingers and was humming a quiet tune.

"You have a lovely voice Kate." He whispered

"Well, look who is back from the land of the seriously stoned. How are you feeling?"

"Woozy. How long have I been out?"

"Only about an hour and before you start freaking out dinner is staying warm in the oven."

He looked up into her eyes hoping that he would see no recriminations there and found none. He smiled content for the first time since he had been shot. When she returned the smile his heart soared. He reached up and gently cupped her cheek. She leaned into his palm, closing her eyes contentedly.

"I could get used to this." she purred.

"What?" Castle queried.

"This," she gestured around "All of this. Since my mother died I really haven't had a family so being included in your family has made me understand what I have missed. And surprisingly I want it."

"Detective Beckett," Castle jibed "You want the whole 'family' thing? Complete with squalling infants?"

"Well I don't know about infants but a baby would be nice" she admitted. "Richard, I'm honest enough with myself to know that I have maybe one serious relationship in me. If I don't get it right the first time I'm not trying again."

"What about Will?"

"It was never really serious. He and I both knew that he would choose the job over me, just as I would do the same to him. I think I wanted it to be serious because I didn't think that I would get another chance, but then you came along."

"And then you were sure you had lost your chance." Rick grinned.

Kate smiled. "I will never forgive you, you know"

"Forgive me? Forgive me for what?"

"For being something more than an inflated ego. For having a brilliant and gifted daughter, for inviting me into your home, and for showing me that work isn't the only thing to live for. "

"Well, Kate you make me sound like quite the scoundrel. A merciless Villain with a Handlebar mustache and a penchant for tying damsels in a dress to the local railroad tracks." He said while twisting the ends of his imaginary mustache.

Kate laughed. She wondered why she had such a problem being in his company when they first met. True, he was in full bad boy mode at the party and the subsequent investigation, but when they were alone the bad boy went on the back burner and Castle the Writer would immerge. The Writer was a thoughtful if somewhat jaundiced man would look at a crime scene dispassionately while searching for clues. Now she supposed she was seeing Richard 'the Family Man'.

Her reverie was broken when Richard sat up. Feeling a pang of regret that their time cuddling on the couch was over she stood and went into the kitchen to pull dinner out of the oven it was warming in and onto plates. The phone rang into the silence. Curious she listened as Richard picked up the phone.

"Rene, I am glad you called me back. I was starting to feel a little neglected"

Rene!?! Who was she and why was she calling Castle! Beckett's mind exploded into thoughts of jealousy and hurt.

A/N:

This went a little more angsty than I had originally intended. If you have an opinion let me know