A/N: Here we are again. Enjoy!

V
Castle's Apartment
Castle, Beckett & Rene

Kate stepped into the hot shower to wash off yesterday's grime. She started every morning with a hot shower. She felt it gave a symbolic clean slate each day. She also needed the shower to get her emotional equilibrium back, dealing with Castle and Alexis had left her feeling emotionally exposed. She wanted to step back and regroup. She had learned a long time ago that emotional armor was necessary to survive in her profession and in her life. She found it difficult to gain the emotion distance from Alexis and Richard. She found that she did not really want to

"Kate," came Castles voice from inside the bathroom,

"Castle, what are doing in here?"

"I needed to talk to you, and you were in here so this is where I came."

"Are you facing the outer door?"

"No, why on earth would I want to do that? The view is much better facing toward the shower." Rick chuckled evilly.

"Castle, STOP!"

"Come on Kate the glass is frosted. I can't see anything, except the general outline. Which I must say is quite pleasing."

"Castle, turn around."

"You are taking all of the fun out of it. Hey do you need me to wash your back? I've been told that I am quite the profession back washer." He quipped

"Richard, NO." Kate has to smile. He sounded so much more like himself this morning. She peeked out of the glass shower doors to see that he was indeed turned away for the shower doors. "So what did you just have to tell me?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry seeing your beautiful outline got me totally off track. One Meredith is on her way. She called, I guess to warn me or something. Oh, and Captain Montgomery called there has been a hazmat spill outside of the Precinct and it probably won't be cleaned up until afternoon. They will call you if they have a body."

"He called me here?" Beckett panicked

"What? No, he called you cell phone."

"You answered my cell phone?"

"Well, yeah, it was ringing…. But don't worry I told him that I had taken you out to breakfast to do some research on my next Nikki Heat book. I was thinking about calling it "Shimmering Heat". She could go undercover as a stripper to catch a psycho who thought he was Jack the Ripper reborn."

"That sounds like you, Richard."

"You know I could get a stripper pole for my bedroom. You could do a couple of routines to get me into the mood."

"Not happening Castle."

"It was just a thought, anyway Meredith should be charging in here in about a half hour, so if you're into long solo showers she should be here by the time you get out. So with the fortuitous spill keeping you from work we can get breakfast."

"If Meredith's going to be here I would rather not."

"You would leave me to the machinations of the "Deep Fried Twinkie?"

"Castle, she is you Ex-wife not mine."

"And your point is? Look you're my rock, my anchor, my solid ground. Besides if she turns vicious I can throw you in front of her and escape."

"That is a real adult way of handling the situation."

"Hey can't have it both ways either I'm a twelve year old or I'm not. Besides in my current state of mind I don't know if I can handle her alone. You don't want me doing something we will regret later."

"What do you mean?" Kate queried

"It's emotional inertia; I was once married to her. She has always been able to push my buttons. I mean, half the times we have had sex after the divorce, she is the one who started it."

"Oh, so you are blaming her for you not being able to keep IT in your pants." Kate shot back.

'This is why I can't stand him' she thought. It was his constant flakiness. One minute he was the suave charmer and the next he was the adolescent man-child, with the will of a gnat. How could she have a meaningful relationship him. Kate felt he spirits fall when she came to the realization that she did not think that she had the strength to be able to have a lasting relationship with this man.

"Look, Castle, just go out there and do whatever. I don't care. Just leave me the hell alone..." She yelled.

Tears coursed down her face as she heard the door close and he left without comment. Her track record with any relationship of a romantic nature was abysmal. Hers was a line drawn in the sand, her 'partners' had to follow that line and not deviate. Kate Beckett's world was in black and white, right and wrong, sin or sainthood. She knew that she should be more forgiving but it was just not in her character. She exited the shower quickly dressed and fled the apartment.

Richard watched her leave, with a look of utter failure on his face. He realized in hindsight exactly where his mistake had been. He had thought that she had wanted the status quo, the Castle that she knew, the jokester. Apparently they were past that after last night. Well they had been past that until about fifteen minutes ago. Now things were all screwed up, again. Castle was amazed at how much trouble he could get into, just by being himself.

"Is it bad?" Alexis asked.

"Moderately bad Sweetie." He replied

"Can you fix it?"

"I don't know, I can certainly try… I will certainly try."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Alexis offered

"Thanks, Baby Bird, but I have to get out of this one on my own"

The doorbell rang and Castle went to get it. When opened up there stoop a plump man of small stature. His silk suit was the height of fashion, his hair was impeccably cut and he had rings on all ten fingers, Rene Fabouis in all his glory.

"Richard" Rene's voice was as flamboyant as his attire. "What can I do you out of today?"

Castle had always like Rene. He was a pompous windbag and he tended to be loud, but he was, in his own way, genuine. He was also the best party planner anywhere on the East Coast in high demand and very expensive. When Richard has first been published, he had hired the then unknown Rene to plan his book launch celebration. Rich has spent almost his entire advance from his first book on throwing that bash, but it had been worth every penny. Castle had used that event to network with the higher ups in Black Pawn. He had used the opportunity to put his eager face in front of the public and private movers and shakers in the publishing industry which came in handy when his book hit the best sellers list and he wanted to negotiate a bigger advance for his second book. He had also met Meredith there.

Rene was no less ambitious. He had pulled out all the stops and also sunk a lot of his own capital in throw the gala. Rene spent the entire party getting his name on the lips of the rich and famous. That party had jumpstarted his career and for that he was always grateful to the young writer, that young brash, cocky writer, who now stood before him, a broken man.

"Richard are you alright?" Rene asked concerned.

"I'm fine Rene, just had words with my ex-wife, Meredith."

"My apologies, she always was a spitfire. So you said you wanted to plan a party?"

"Yeah, a get well party. Actually more of a thank God I'm alive party."

"Ah, a celebration of life, is that it?"

"That is a good way to put it. It's a small gathering about one hundred and fifty or so."

"I am still upset that I did not get to do your last book launch party."

"I know Rene, but you can blame Gina the Blood Sucking Harpy, for that one. I think she in some ways blames you for our divorce. She made all the arrangements for the Heat Wave launch party. Like I told you n the phone, you're my go to guy."

"I believe you Richard, so let's get this party started."

The Precinct

Kate Beckett

Later that day

Kate sat at her desk trying desperately to avoid breathing too deeply and feeling totally miserable. The stench of the cleaning chemicals that had been used outside the precinct lay heavy in the air. The spill had been cleared away but it still smelled bad. Her soul felt sick at the way she had reacted at Castle's apartment. She had felt emotionally vulnerable and had used his dealings with Meredith as an excuse to push him away. Now if he succumbed to Meredith's charms then she would feel like she pushed him to do it. The more she thought about the last couple of days the more frightened she became. Had she ruined her chance? Would he understand what she was going through? Would he forgive her?

"Hey Beckett" Ryan called out "You've got a visitor, in the conference room."

Beckett frowned. She didn't think that Richard would be coming by, he was supposed to be on bed rest, besides he would just come over to her desk. Ryan's smirk meant something weird was up. Walking to the Conference room she tried to gather her thoughts. Standing in the doorway she observed her visitor. Meredith stood in the room looking out the window.

"Meredith? To what do I owe the honor?"

"You know full well why I'm here." Meredith spat.

"Uh, no I don't."

"I don't know how you did it but I guess congratulations are in order."

"What?" Kate was confused.

"You have stolen both of them from me."

"Huh?"

"Oh don't play stupid, you have stolen my family from me." Meredith cried.

"Meredith, I have not stolen anything from you."

"Oh, you are so catty. You have stolen the affections of my husband and my daughter from me. Don't act like you have no clue. Over the last nine months you have quietly and effectively taken their love from me." Meredith was in full histrionics.

"Meredith, first of all Alexis loves you very much and has told me so on several occasions. Second you cheated on and divorced Richard. If you don't think that was when you lost him then you need to have your head examined." Kate returned.

"Were you sleeping with him when I was here last spring?"

"No! Truth be told we haven't slept together yet."

"You are such a lying bitch!" Meredith shouted

"You are in total denial aren't you Meredith. You think that Richard's affection can be bought with sex. Well I've got news for you…."

"You don't deserve him!" Meredith interrupted

"Deserve! Deserve! Did Rick deserve you cheating on him with the director of the movie you were working on or the subsequent divorce? Does he deserve the constant interruptions to his and Alexis' life every time you decide to pop in from L.A. with little or no warning? Does Alexis deserve to grow up without a mother present? Don't talk to me about what I deserve. Think about what Richard and Alexis deserve."

Meredith, who was rendered speechless for the first time since Kate had met her, began to cry and ran out of the room. Kate immediately felt bad about losing her temper at Meredith, but not too bad.

"Wow, Beckett I knew you could make suspect cry but a Hollywood Hottie, impressive." Ryan quipped as he walked into the room.

"Stow it Kevin." Beckett shot back. Now she had to go and make an apology and eat some crow. She just hoped that Castle wouldn't rub it in too much.

Castles Apartment

The Roof top

Beckett and Castle

The drive to Castle's apartment had been uneventful if somewhat short. She had tried, to no avail to compose her apology on the drive but had come up empty. Beckett had always had a problem trying to apologize for her mistakes. Whoever said it was better to ask forgiveness rather than permission must never have had to say 'I'm sorry'.

When she had arrived at the door she was met by a concerned Alexis who worriedly pointed toward the roof and offered brief directions on how to get there. She now stood watching Castle's back as he sat upon one of the air conditioning units, which because of the cool fall weather, was off. Beside him sat a half full bottle of Scotch. She fervently hoped he had not consumed that much of the bottle. She moved over to his side and waited for him to notice her.

"Detective Beckett, how are you this fine evening?"

She winced at the salutation. "I've… I have come to apologize for my behavior this morning" she stammered a lump of fear caught in her throat.

"No apologies necessary Detective, it's not like we are dating or anything." His sarcasm cut her.

"Richard…"

"No." his tone was almost harsh. "Don't do this, either you are in or your out. I… I can't take anything else."

"You're right Richard; we have been dancing around each other for nine months. We both done things to hurt each other, in that time. I guess the time has come to put our cards on the table. I'm scared Rick, I don't do relationships very well. I panicked this morning. I was afraid that Meredith would be able to turn you head, to make you stop thinking about me."

"There is no chance of that … Kate."

"I know that now. Please forgive me."

"Already done…. Now, can you help me down? Pain Killers and booze don't mix well."

"Rick!"

A/N: Again I apologize for the grammer and typos. it has been a busy couple of days and i did not get a lot of time to proof read this chapter.