Chapter 31

Immortals walked a fine line, between existence and extermination. The greater creation would not save them, they had to save themselves. They were known as the immortals, because they were not like humans, who fell so easily in the face if illness or starvation. Yet, even so, the battle waged on, not with bloodlust, but with terror. Fear, that one day, there wouldn't even be a nothingness to wake up to.

There was nothing left for them to do, but to seek out a living by rebuilding what was lost. That was not an easy feat, and murmurs told of forbidden answers that no one dared to test. Gone were the days of the planets, stars, sun and moon, that so made creation a place for all who lived. It would take time, and immense power, from all who still breathed the air of nothingness before anyone would be gifted the sight of those days again.

The struggle had only just begun, even when starts twinkled in the sky, and ground was anew. It was a dangerous time to live, for all who walked creation.

The hut was small, and there wasn't nearly enough room for privacy between them, but, such a luxury wasn't something to be had. In the wastelands of the hells, privacy itself could be a nightmare. Keiichi and Urd had to prioritize with what they could carry on a fire drake's back, which, when one considered all of the supplies they needed, didn't leave room for any comforts from home. As such, they'd grown used to dealing with the forced issue of the tiny, one room space.

They couldn't use magic for inconsequential things either, so merely making the space larger was out of the question.

Creation was an angry place, filled with unstable ground that was just starting to take shape, and as such, there was fire falling from creation, and into the pits of the hells. The burning rain allowed for no travel, and that meant an entire day spent indoors. They'd grown used to the close proximity, as it was their only option during these times, unless they wished to catch fire.

While it wasn't deadly, it was highly unpleasant, and impossible to navigate through.

They had to share everything. The hut only allowed for one bed, and cooking was also a difficult thing to do, and to make matters worse, it was the second day in a row with nothing to do. Megumi was back in the city with Xic and Mara, leaving Keiichi alone with Urd as they travelled through the horrific conditions to find any stranded demons, alive or dead, still caught in stasis.

"I told you it would be too dangerous to pack up and leave right now." Urd said as she healed some burns on Keiichi's back. "You've got to wait things out, that's all we can do."

"I know." Keiichi growled. "I know, but damn it, the longer we stay down here, the worse it gets!"

She could feel a dark, raging power flow through him, commanding obedience, and she shook her head. She had long since stopped trying to drive him off with spells. The solution was quickly becoming a last ditch resort, and even it was slowly becoming ineffective. He was not merely an angry demon, he was a lonely, broken man. Pummeling him would only risk angering him further, and as a man of the hells, that was an unpredictable outcome without Belldandy by his side.

Instead, she embraced him, trying to stop his shaking and ease his temper, least it get the best of him. "Keiichi it's okay. Creation is a difficult thing to build. The world tree alone is not enough." She told him as firmly as she could, trying to get him to see reason before emotion. "Time, and several factors will eventually become creation, but it takes a lot of effort to do. Otherwise, there would be more than one."

"Fuck…" He hissed from between clenched teeth. "I'm so sick of this."

He was too strong…too powerful to contain himself, and truth be told, he needed Belldandy. "Keiichi." Urd worried when he got like this, because his growing frustration was not something she could quell for much longer. "Stop…just stop it, okay?" Not unless she belong to him...and, if anything held true, it was that he was the king her mother had wanted him to be. Keiichi would take what he wanted, if he dearly desired it.

"If only I were stronger." He growled. "If only I could command the hells better." Even his normally brown eyes glinted dangerously with a tinge of demonic red that made him fierce. Quite frankly, it was horrific. "Maybe what they need is a bruit show of force…maybe then I can bend the flames to my will. Maybe then, my orders will be done."

"Keiichi, that's not helping!" Urd shouted, slapping him as she grabbed his face into her hands, and smacked him again for good measure. "Snap out of it!" The red in his eyes faded, and she sighed, her hands falling limp at her sides. "There's nothing you can do but wait for the tree to bear fruit, Keiichi." She murmured to him. "Until that time, you have one, and only one task." when she looked him in the eyes again, she saw more of the hardened brown that has so engulfed him, and she offered him a weak smile. "You must unify your people once more."

"I'm sorry, Urd." He murmured then, guilt thickly lacing his voice.

"This isn't your fault." She told him as she crossed her arms. "Keiichi, you've got to have more confidence in yourself and your powers. The reason I didn't get on well with demons is because they're bullheaded." She used that explanation as a reason to distance herself from Keiichi as much as the stifling small room would allow. "You can't expect everyone to just bow to you, even if that is what Hild would have wanted…this is a new creation, and things have changed."

"Have they really?" He asked her, feeling as if that was a lie, and it struck him hard. "Times change, Urd, circumstances too." He relented. "But creation doesn't change." It felt like a haunting truth. "It'll repeat its past mistakes again one day…and when that happens, someone else will be in our position." Somehow, he felt that in the pit of his gut. "It's an endless cycle…a worthless, repetitive cycle."

"But it isn't your cycle." Urd told him, trying to get him to look at her, something he did less and less whenever he felt even a hint of shame. "I promise, you'll do this once, and that's it." She assured him. "You won't have to do it again."

"Once is more than enough." He finally replied as he looked over to his scorched clothing. His cape spoke of the fiery rain outside, and it fell onto the barrier around the hut relentlessly. He leaned back onto the bed with a sigh. "What I wouldn't give to go back to the way things used to be." Brown eyes hid behind clenched eyelids, as the man suppressed a frown. "For just one more day." His words were barely there at all. "Just so I could see her face."

"I've missed that." Urd allowed herself to say as she came to sit beside him. "It's easy to forget that deep down, you were never meant to be a demon." It was his soft, endless compassion that she had so grown to love about him when he was human, and even though she taunted him, Urd had a great deal of respect for him. Even as a demon, his human qualities, the struggle to find light continued. She prayed that part of him would never snuff out. "Do you regret what you've become?"

Keiichi wondered about that, but, all he could do was swallow hard. "Let's just say, that I once asked Hild how she became so powerful. Hild told me that once I was the ruler, I would know." His eyes opened to catch a glimpse of the beautiful woman by his side, and to save himself the torment of walking down roads that he rather not, he rolled over. He never wanted to forget about the goddess that waited for him in the heavens, even as it became harder and harder to remind himself that she would still be there for him. "If this is even a fraction of what Hild felt, let's just say, I have a newfound respect for her."

"Is that so?" Urd asked, though Keiichi was silent and said nothing to the question.

Once again, he suffered silently, and, once again, Urd had to watch.

…

"Fire lilies, they never stop burning until the day they die." Belldandy said, as she held one in the palm of her hand. It was cool to the touch. "Keiichi sends one up every year by currier. Now, I have a garden of them."

"They normally don't sustain well in the heavens." Peorth said as she gazed out of the window. "They'll die if you keep them here."

"They won't." Belldandy replied as she let her eyes drift to the one that was sitting on her desk. The vase that contained the flower also held a dark liquid.

"Belldandy, is that what I think it is?" Peorth asked, astonished to see such a thing in the heavens.

"Holybell's tainted feathers." Belldandy laughed with a small smile. "She's not sick, she merely chose to blacken her wings."

"How are you still a goddess?" Peorth asked, mesmerized by the feat in and of itself.

"My love for my family is a pure thing. My love for Keiichi is also pure, even if right now, it's shrouded in horrible darkness." Belldandy said. "I feel as if my son should acclimate himself to such dark wings, as so many in the family walk such a complicated path…even he, himself."

"What of his father? Are his intentions so forthright?" Peorth drilled, knowing that people were talking, and none of it was good.

Belldandy didn't answer, and instead, looked to her baby boy.

The one thing Belldandy always wanted, more than anything else, was a child with a gentle soul. However, her girls were fighters, all of them. Deviants in their own ways, they fought so very hard, against each other, creation, and even their innermost selves. They simply fought. She often blamed herself for not being there enough, but even if that was the reason, she couldn't change the flow of time, nor the actions she took.

Still, she so desired it, and her son, for whatever reason, was her answered prayer.

He was a very shy little boy, who seemed to lack even the most basic demonic traits. He didn't try to bite people, and hardly fussed within the arms of another goddess. He was, more or less, an agreeable child in everything he did. Even his heart was pure with every intention. She often wondered why that was, because he was indeed half demon, and yet, showed no outward sign.

"Belldandy!" Peorth shouted, pulling the Norn from her thoughts. "Did you hear me?"

"I'm aware of the rumors." Belldandy said with a distant nod.

"But, they are rumors, indeed?" Peorth tried to confirm. "Keiichi wouldn't really bed down with Urd, would he?"

"Urd told me they were merely that…she told me about the rumors in a letter. It reached me before such news even touched the heavens. I've known about the murmurs for years." She was often unsure what to make of such a thing, but, the arrivals of the flowers, reports of Keiichi's constant suffering, and his unwavering declarations made Belldandy believe in him. "From what I can discern, they are strictly rumors. Although, Keiichi and I don't speak of it."

"Why not?" Peorth asked then, surprised by that admission. "Don't you think you should tell him, let him know how much it's hurting you?"

Belldandy shook her head fervently. "I find broaching such a topic in a letter to be unpleasant. It wouldn't be right to do that, because he is a male if immortal make, and immortal mind. He is no mere human." With that said, she gave Peorth a gentle shrug, hoping the woman wouldn't see through the carefree mask that she had slipped upon her face. "We goddesses listen to the men of the house, that is simply what we do."

Peorth put her hands to her face in complete exasperation. "May Anzasu's spirit not have heard that." Peorth muttered, unsure of why the goddess before her was so tradition, despite her very untraditional lifestyle. "That aside, Bell, they're demons. They can lie. They're prone to it. What if it's true? Just what do you intend to do?" Peorth asked Belldandy, after another long day, this conversation was only making it longer. "That boy needs a father, and Keiichi's a demon. He can't live up here, you know. Your old way of life is gone Belldandy."

Gone...it wouldn't ever come back. Belldandy knew that, and yet, even so...

"I worry about that every day." Though Belldandy understood quite a bit about heavenly systems, she was not at all like her sisters, who could easily do any administrative task without blinking twice. The longer she took, the longer it would be before she could see Keiichi. "I don't know what I'll do. Only that I know I can't be away from Keiichi like this. It'll kill me eventually."

"I know." Peorth agreed as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. "I think it would be best, if you took the time to consider heavenly opinion about this…" It made her sick to consider, but someone had to say it. "With no formal court, it will fall to someone else to take everyone, and lead them to prosperity. You know just as well as I do, that such a person should be a male."

"So, when a god finds himself willing to take the throne, so be it." Belldandy said, only to have Peorth give her a disapproving look. "I won't make heavily mandate difficult, and I won't stand in his way."

"It was your grandfather that was so highly respected at council…and your father after him….then such a title was given to you, by your father himself." The first class administrative goddess shook her head. "Don't you understand what that implies? They look to you, Belldandy. This is on your shoulders. This was your idea!"

"They do…it was my idea, and thus, my burden." Belldandy agreed, as she lifted her sleeping son from a nearby chair where he'd curled up to nap. "I will not deny that. I will not hide from it."

"Then for all that is the heavens, you should answer for this." Peorth said pointedly. "One day, we will need a new Almighty to govern us all, not to mention, choose a new council."

"I'm already spoken for, and it just so happens that he took not only my virginity, but my heart. I'm his, Peorth." Holding her son in her arms only cemented that fact. "In a creation without Keiichi, I'm sure, I would bow down to the holy teachings. I know I would choose a suitable god to lead creation in the right direction." However, Keiichi was there, working to rebuild the hells. "In this creation, I can't." She told Peorth with a shake of her head. "I won't."

"The hells have Urd." Peorth protested. "They have their rightful queen, and that is what she is, Belldandy." Peorth said, more frustrated than anything else. "In the last letter Urd sent you, you know what she said….what she would do." Peorth felt like she had to be the one to say it. "She's the one by his side, and you know what? Maybe that's how it's going to stay. You don't know…we have no way of knowing."

A younger, near sighted, and jealous version of herself, would have likely ripped through the area with a storm so strong, it would threaten the fragile world tree. As it stood, Belldandy merely offered a sad smile. "Even if that is how it becomes, I know my sister, and I know Keiichi." She felt hurt by the thought, but understood them perfectly.

She brushed the short hair on the baby's head, and turned to Peorth. "May I speak candidly about personal matters? I regret to say, it speaks ill of the dead."

"If you feel you must." Peorth allowed and braced herself on the wall comfortably. "I will endure it."

"My family has made many mistakes in their time, and I can't condone many of them." Belldandy began, wondering even now, if saying such a thing would offer any true reasoning. Yet, even if it was little more than an excuse, she couldn't be bothered. "However, the one thing always murmured about my father, was that he had an illegitimate daughter. As you know, her half demon blood was scrutinized every passing moment. My father was always under fire over her very existence. My mother was always put down for her choices in a man, because they saw my father as unfaithful."

It pained Belldandy to think of that now, just as she knew that Urd would likely never stop holding that grudge over heaven. It was that selfsame pain that gave her strength to continue her words. "However, Urd was possibly the one bright thing in our entire family's history. Her birth was the furthest thing from a mistake." It was Belldandy's deepest belief in that mere thought, that led her to one simple conclusion. "She was born from love, no matter how twisted or spiteful that love might have been, Hild loved my father."

"And for what little the judgment gate felt it was worth, Tyr loved Hild too." Peorth said nodding, accepting that one truth.

"Exactly." Belldandy said then, rekindling her hope and faith in her truest, heartfelt beliefs. "It was a blessing, Peorth. A gift that made us stronger…and ultimately, those actions brought us to the present we face today." She bit her lower lip, pulling it between her teeth. "Truth be told, I can't fault that…I could never begrudge my father that one thing, even if he wasn't the kindest father in the world to Urd. He did what he thought was best….even his transgressions were done of love."

"It's still unforgiveable." Peorth told Belldandy heatedly.

"Yet, he was forgiven, was he not?" Belldandy begged Peorth to understand. "He slept with Hild, even while he was to become married to my mother, of all things." Belldandy explained, feeling a pang in her chest as she did. "I can't even wrap my head around it, even though I know it happened…how could I ever fault such a thing for Keiichi, when I praised it of my father?"

"Keiichi isn't your father." Peorth shot back, struggling to come to terms with Belldandy's words. "He's your lover, and Urd's your sister. Doesn't that count for something?"

"I'm not saying the betrayal wouldn't hurt." Belldandy said, swallowing back some of the emotion that threatened to spill from her eyes at the mere thought. "All I'm saying, is that such a thing is not without precedent, and that many good things can come from such pain." The tears fell from her cheeks anyway.

"Pain can also bring terrible things." Peorth said hopelessly.

"But I know Keiichi." Belldandy shook her head. "And I know Urd." Her voice was quiet, fearful, yet full of faith. "And I know, that even if something like that were to happen, the love Keiichi and I would have for each other, would overcome that difficult time…and I know in my deepest heart, that he would love any child that Urd brought into this world…" And the most painful admission of all came through a sob. "And, he would never do that, unless he loved Urd too."

"There's so many things wrong with that, Belldandy, I don't even know where to begin!" Peorth lamented, before she saw Belldandy edge closer, putting her hands onto Peorth's shoulders.

She pulled Peorth into a tight, tear stricken embrace. "He's a demon, Peorth…I chose to love him in spite of that…and, for the record, if Urd ever did happen to bear his child, I would be the one to offer her spiritual support for a safe delivery. I would do, just as my mother chose to do for Hild." With that, she walked out of the room and into the study filled with paperwork.

"I promised I would believe in him." She murmured to herself. "That I would believe only his words, no matter what I saw, or what I thought…" She breathed deeply. "I would believe in him unflinchingly…I decided to do that." She said to herself. "So I must continue to do so now."

She had too many things to worry about in heaven, she felt as if Keiichi's faithfulness shouldn't be one of them. She wouldn't play such mind games with herself. She let go of a heated breath. "If such a truth comes up upon his return, we will deal with it then. It's pointless to come up with such scenarios blindly." With the promise to herself spoken, she called Peorth who was still in the baby's room. "We should get back to the programming."