Thank you for all the reviews and pointing out words that needed changing. I have a website now that helps, but if you see any more then do tell me. A part from that, CASTLES ON TOMORROW. Enjoy this chapter.

Still in need of a Beta if anyones interested, the people who came forward haven't answered back.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Chapter 7

Kate sat in Wellington's therapy room that same night, having rang him to ask for an appointment as soon as possible. The kiss constantly played in her mind, her stomach twisting with not knowing what would happen now. Would she lose Alexis? She fiddled with the strands of her jumper, waiting for him to enter the room. When he did, she couldn't bring herself to look up.
"Kate?" He questioned. "Would you like to tell me what's happened?"
"He kissed me," she whispered loud enough for him to hear.
There was a moments pause, the only sound of the ticking clock and him writing in his note book. "That's a problem?"
"It shouldn't have happened," Kate said. "I'm there for Alexis."
"I know," Wellington said. "But couldn't you be there for Rick as well?"
"It won't work," Kate said. "I'll only end up losing Alexis."
"Ah," he said. "You're afraid again."
Kate looked up, seeing him watching her with that concerned look of his. She had come to him as he was the only one that would understand.
"If it doesn't work between us then I won't be able to see Alexis," Kate buried her head in her hands, knowing it was too easy, something always had to come up to complicate things. She shouldn't have played him like she had, Kate had led him on and now she was here.
"What if it does work?" He questioned.
"It never works out," Kate said. "They always end up leaving."
"Because your a cop?"
"Yes. Because I'm a cop, because of my mom and I'm not good enough," Kate said. "I just don't think I'm ready."
"You need time?" He asked.
Kate nodded her head. "Time to find myself. I need the fear to go away."
"The fear of losing Alexis?" He asked.
"Yes!" Kate sighed. "I'm afraid that if things don't work out between me and Rick then I'll lose her. I can't lose her."
"That's understandable," he said. "Have you told Rick this?"
"No," Kate ran a hand through her hair. "I walked out on him."
"Alexis wasn't home?" He asked.
"No, she was out with her grandma," Alexis said. "I went to drop of the mug to go Rick let me borrow and he invited me in."
"Then he kissed you?"
"I lead him on... but, yeah."
"OK," he said, pausing to write again. "Did you like the kiss?"
"Yes... no... I don't know," Kate bit her lip.
He paused again. "What do you plan on doing?"
"I don't know," Kate said.
"Has he rang you?" He asked.
"I had to turn my phone of," Kate's hand moved to her pocket, where her phone was.
"When he next rings, talk to him," he said.
"And say what?"
"Tell him what you just told me," Wellington said. "Open up to him. I'm sure he'll understand. Give you time."
Kate bit her lip again. "Do you think so?"
He gave her a small smile. "Yes."

Back at home, Kate stared at her phone. It was already late and she wasn't sure if Rick would be asleep or not. The kiss still lingered on her mouth, she had enjoyed it and it did feel special, but the fear had overtaken her. Not even a month and she'd managed to mess things up. She bit her lip, dialing his number, listening to it ring.
"Kate?" He answered after a few rings.
"Rick..." She trailed of.
"I'm outside your apartment, Kate," Rick said.
Her heart hammered faster. "You are? What about Alexis?"
"She's with my mother," he said. "I got kicked out my own house to come talk to you."
Kate smiled slightly, standing up to get the door. "They kicked you out?"
"Alexis was mad," Rick said. "And my mother got fed up of me sulking."
Kate bit her lip, he was on the other side of the door, she had heard his voice. Her hand reached out, closing on the handle as she opened the door. "Why was Alexis mad?"
He looked at her, concerned. "Because I scared you away."
Kate hung up her phone, wrapping her arms around herself. She was only in an old shirt and shorts. "Did you tell her?"
"No," he said. "She thinks I upset you. Did I?"
She avoided the question, moving more into the apartment. The door shut behind Rick, his footsteps echoing behind hers. Kate sunk on the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest. Rick sat down on the other end of the sofa. "How did you know where I lived?"
"We picked you up last week, didn't we?" He said. "Then I just asked your doorman for your room number."
"Oh," Kate said, looking at the sofa space between them instead of him. Opening up, telling him seemed harder, she didn't know where to start. If she told him then what would happen? Would he stop her from seeing Alexis? She had already told him that she was in thearpy, but she hadn't told him why.
"You going to tell me what happened?" He asked. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No," Kate said, tucking the strands of hair behind her ears. "It wasn't your fault."
"Then what?"
"I'm afraid if I tell you then your take Alexis from me," she looked up, the tears building in her eyes. The fear had come back again. "I can't lose her, Rick."
He went to move closer, but then thought better of it. "Kate, I've already told you that I'm not going to stop you seeing Alexis."
"Four – almost five – years a go," Kate started, her hand moving towards her mothers necklace again. "Me and my dad were waiting for my mother at a restaurant for dinner, only she didn't show. A detective was waiting for us when we got home, her body had been found in an alley." Kate closed her eyes, wanting all the thoughts to go away, she had opened wounds, but was opening up to Rick.
"Kate..."
"Wait, please?" She opened her eyes, seeing him nod his head. "They never found her killer and write her death of to a random gang violence."
"That's why you want to become a detective?" He asked.
Kate nodded her head. "Only when I made officer I had become too obsessed with the case. I- I had a break down, leading to the therapy sessions. If I wanted to make detective one day then I had to let the case go. Bringing justice for other families is the closest I get to solving her case."
She hadn't realised she was crying. Kate wiped the tears away, the memories of the darkest moments of her life replaying in her mind. "My dad became an alcoholic, he's still trying to sober up. I was alone and then I met Alexis."
He watched her, those blue eyes full with the concern and pain for her. Kate smile lightly. "I'm broken and Alexis is the one that's putting the pieces back together."
"And your afraid of losing her?" He asked.
She nodded her head. "I care about her too much to lose her, I know I've only known her for nearly a month, but she means so much to me. If I lose her then I'll never find myself."
He smiled a little. "You won't ever lose her, Kate."
Kate met his gaze, knowing he truly meant the words, but the fear still twisted in her stomach. "The kiss scared me the most."
"Was it that bad?" He asked.
She smiled. "I liked it."
"I'm sensing a 'but'."
"I'm afraid of what the kiss could lead to," Kate bit her lip. "If things don't work out between us then I'm scared you'll take Alexis away from me."
"Even if we ended up hating each other, I won't ever take her from you," he said. "I would still let you see her."
She folded her legs underneath her, shuffling closer to him, but still keeping the distance. "I'm not sure if I'm ready. I need time to find myself, lose the fear. Will you wait for me?"
He took her hand, squeezing it. "Always."
Kate looked at their entwined fingers, wondering whether she would believe in them having a chance, believing that, no matter what, she would never lose Alexis.

Kate groaned, putting her pen down. Her fingers ached from writing for so long and now she stretched them out. Looking up at the clock, she realised she still had another few hours to go before her shift ended.
"Long night?" Esposito asked. "You kept yawning."
The night before replayed in her mind, the opened wounds that kept her up most of the night replaying. It took her a while to persuade Rick to go home, he was worried about her. When he left she had cried, tried to block the memories away.
"Fine," Kate said. "You?"
"Great," Esposito grinned. Kate rolled her eyes knowing that look.
"Who's the unlucky girl?" Kate asked.
"Unlucky?" Esposito questioned. "No one really."
"Hhmmm," Kate grinned, knowing it wasn't really no one. He ignored her, focusing on the paperwork. She pulled out her phone, checking to see if she had any messages.
You still coming over? Alexis wants to see you.
Kate looked at the text, she had told Rick last night that she would drop by after work for Alexis.
Is she still mad at you?
Yeah.
I'll be there soon.
She closed her phone, thinking about how Alexis was afraid that she wouldn't get to see Kate again. It was familiar with her fears. If she and Rick got together, would Alexis be afraid that the same would happen between them like Rick and her mother?

The hours ticked by slowly and soon Kate was on her way over to their loft. Kate thought about seeing Rick again, would things become awkward between them? When she arrived, she greeted the doorman with a small smile and made her way up.
"Kate!" Alexis ran into Kate's arms as the door opened. She wrapped her arms around the girl, holding her close. "I was so scared I wouldn't see you again."
"Oh, Alexis," Kate bent down to her level, keeping her arms securely around her. "I'm not going anywhere."
"You promise?" She asked.
"I promise I'll always be here for you," she told her.
"Daddy told me he upset you," Alexis said. "Are you okay now?"
"I'm fine," Kate smiled. "You don't have to be mad with him."
"I leave him alone with you once and you leave crying," Alexis sighed. "I forgive daddy now that you're here."
"Thank you," Rick said.
"Your daddy didn't mean to upset me," Kate told her. "He... said something that he didn't know would upset me."
"Sorry daddy for being mad at you," Alexis looked up to him.
"It's OK, sweetheart," Rick ruffled her hair with a smile. She looked up to him for the first time since last night, he gave her a small smile, watching her with that concerened look.
Alexis giggled. "Kate, come in!"
"OK," Kate laughed, letting Alexis pull her into the loft. "Remember, I need to visit daddy's study for a second."
"Yeah," Alexis smiled. "You can meet my grandma after."
"She's here?" Kate asked.
"Yeah," Rick said. "Don't worry Kate, my mother won't bite."
"I know," Kate said, watching Alexis disappear towards the living room. She followed Rick into the study, putting her gun and badge into the draw.
"Kate," She looked up at him. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she smiled. He watched her carefully seeing through the slight lie. She was fine now that she realised things hadn't become awkward between them, but the memories she opened up last night were still fresh on her mind.
"Kate!" Alexis called from the living room.
Kate gave Rick another small smile, leaving the study to join Alexis in the living room. Another older women was with her. She looked up at Kate as she entered.
"You must be Kate!" She said holding her hand out, which Kate shook. "I'm Martha Rodgers."
"Nice to finally meet you," Kate said with a smile.
"Alexis told me you beat Richard at scrabble," she smiled. "Good on you, girl. About time someone beat him."
"Grams, Kate beats daddy at everything," Alexis said.
"Does not," Rick protested.
"Do too," Kate said. "There was the pedal boats."
"And the time you beat daddy in swimming," Alexis added.
"Wait, hold up," Rick said. "I wasn't a part of that competition."
"No, but I still managed to take you down with a splash," Kate said.
"But I took you down first," he protested.
"You grabbed my ankle, I kicked your feet from under you," Kate grinned.
"Then the scrabble," Alexis said. "And Kate beats daddy in making the best brownies."
"I have to agree with that one," Rick said.
"Well, I think I need to try these brownies sometime then," Martha said. "I've heard all about your cop adventures as well."
"You have?" Kate questioned.
"From both of them. You really plan on making detective?" Martha asked.
"I do," Kate said. "I might be getting promoted early on next year."
"Will you be at work more then?" Alexis asked.
"Maybe," Kate smiled slightly. "I'll be on call most of the time."
"What does that mean?" She asked.
Kate thought for a second, she didn't want to tell her too much about her job. "It means that if a case comes up at any time of the day then I'll have to go."
"Even at night when your asleep?"
Kate nodded. "Yeah. Even then."
"My mommy always gets a call telling her she has to leave when she visits," Alexis said.
She only sees her mom a few times a year now and when she does come she leaves? No wonder why Alexis found it hard to trust people. "I'll still have my Monday's off and I won't always have to leave."
"You'll always come back?" Alexis asked moving closer to Kate.
"I will," she smiled. "I'll come back for our dinners and the films we watch. I'll always come back to you, Alexis."
The girl hugged her, wrapping her arms around Kate's waist on the sofa, her head resting on her shoulder. Alexis had been in her life for almost a month and she knew, no matter what, she would always be in Kate's life. She had this girl in her arms and she was never letting her go.

Hope you liked the chappter. Don't worry, I'm not planning on making them wait a long time. They will be together soon, I'm debating two possibly ways for it to go right now. A big storyline for this story is going to start soon as well, which I'm excited for you all to read. Please do review.