A/N: I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you will consider this a gift to you, for surely you reading this and hopefully enjoying this is your gift to me. ENJOY!!!!

XX
The Waldorf
Kate and Richard

Kate stood staring at the door to Castle's room. It was after 2 am and the detective had finally gotten through the initial interviews of the guests and had scheduled secondary interviews with their 'persons of interest' for the following day. Kate had made sure that Esposito and Ryan were letting the case go for the night. Kevin had arranged a safe house for Roxy and was in route with the frazzled floozy to play knight protector with her. Esposito had said good night to Lanie and gone off to where ever bachelors go after partying. Now she was standing in front of Castle' room debating on whether to knock or go to her room and just go to bed The pictures that the Captain had shown her had rattled her and were causing her to rethink her relationship with the author. She felt that she and Richard were matched; some would say soul mates, while others would say they were destined to be together. She did not know if such things existed but she could feel the power of their connection. She did not know if she could deal with the aftermath of whatever it was they were in. Her fear of being lost in the wave of unwanted publicity was palpable. Rick had told her that they would not be able to keep their relationship a secret, but she had not expected to be the focus of blackmail. Before she could make up her mind on whether to knock or leave a very haggard looking Castle opened the door. It looked like he had not slept in days, the dark circles under his eyes were very pronounced and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Without another thought she went inside.

"You look like you haven't slept in months."

"I love you too." Castle sighed.

Kate led him over to the couch and pulled him down. After a little resistance he fell onto the couch. She scrutinized his face. He was a very good poker player so he was difficult to read but Kate could see the toll that the whole affair was taking on Rick. He couldn't summon the energy to hide behind his bravado.

"I 'm sorry" was all he said.

"Sorry, for what?" Kate queried.

"I didn't tell you about Eric trying to blackmail me."

"What! When?"

"A couple of weeks or so ago he came to the apartment. It was under the pretext of burying the hatchet. He called, said that he was sorry for the story he had run about me and he wanted to take me out to lunch. He made it sound all very plausible. He said that he had been duped into believing that the photos were real. I mean back when we were friends; we had talked about the most outrageous stunts we would pull if we ever got famous. One of mine was to make out in central park with a hot looking woman…. Anyway once we started lunch he showed me the photos and suggested that I could quell the story with a good word at Black Pawn. I didn't that the ungrateful little weasel would try to double dip with the Police Department."

"How could he possibly have thought that he could get away with trying to blackmail the Police?" Kate asked.

"Well it has been done before, not since prohibition, but it has been done…. That was one of the other things we used to do, study the history of crime in New York."

"And you didn't think to tell me about this little escapade?"

"Well, in my defense it was on the same day as my first episode, but I remembered it earlier this evening. It's no excuse but, I have been pretty stressed out today."

"Richard…."Kate started to give him some acerbic comments, but she could tell that he was being honest with her. Somewhat late, but none the less he was being honest. "Look, I understand the fact that you are used to dealing with these things by yourself…. Wait a minute, how did you know about the Pictures at the Precinct?"

"Captain Montgomery called after he talked to you, to let me know about the pictures and to see if I had known about them….. Before you ask, I did tell Montgomery about Eric's little subplot. I may be a Wise-ass but I'm not a Dumb-ass." Castle gave a half hearted grin

"Ok, that's good…. As I was saying you have got to come to me with these little side adventures. I need to know about them so we can deal with these things together."

"Well, I certainly hope we don't have any more of that type of side adventures, but I understand you meaning. Any, hey, I was telling you about it now."

"Yes you were."

"I am happy that you are thinking about us, with a capital U." Rick leaned over and tasted her lips.

Beckett was taken a little off guard by the sudden gesture but soon she was melting into the kiss. Her hands slid up under his unbuttoned shirt and pressed up against his chest. He felt solid and warm and full of the promise of passion. She knew that it would be very easy to just let go. So easy to throw all of her barriers down and let him in to her, both physically and metaphorically. Her mind slipped sideways into the realm of conjecture. She knew Richards talked a good game, if the kisses he gave her were any indication she knew he would be a phenomenal lover. The thought of them making love filled her head; it was as if she could visualize the scene as if it had already been played out. They would be the perfect complement to each other. They would bring the fierce beast of lust out in each other. Her hand with a will of its own had begun to slide up his inner thigh fully intent on starting the act which would culminate in their bodies intertwined and her first taste of the forbidden fruit which was Richard Castle. His hand grabbing hers halted the fantasy.

"I'm ready Richard. I want this." Kate panted.

"I know Kate, I want this too, but right now I can't… It's not physical… I am just too messed up right now. All the stress… I want our first time to be memorable… Top Ten. I just can't give that to you now. You cannot believe how I hate myself right now."

"Top Ten?"

"I want our first time to be one of the top ten best times you have had sex. I would love it to be the best time that you made love, but I realize logically that it really wouldn't be possible, because that takes a lot of tries. I am willing to give it those tries, believe me, but if we went to bed now, I would be selfish and it would just be sex, I never want it to be just sex with you."

Kate was astonished that he had the presence of mind to understand the situation. Kate's hormones were about as raging as she ever got. The intensity of the passion she felt had made her heady and thrown her into the vortex of her lust for the man beside her. The fact that he was more right than he knew didn't stop the ache that her body was producing right now. She wanted him. She wanted him in her. He couldn't know that for her it would have been just sex as well. A thought pierced her lust hazed mind and it was like a cold shower. She was acting like what she assumed Castle was like, all for the fun. That he was being the one that was exercising the intelligence and she was the one being ruled by her lust was not lost on her. She pulled her hand away from his thigh and pulled back. She saw a look of panic fill his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him again. This time she did not allow herself to be drawn into the vortex again. They could wait awhile longer. Not too much longer but they could wait awhile longer.

"I'm not going anywhere Richard. I am in this for the long haul." She assured him and realized that she meant every word. She was committing herself to him. She thought somewhat wryly that all they needed was a promise ring and they would be completely acting like a couple of teenagers. She found herself realizing that it was okay to act like a teenager, maybe the first time since her mother had died, it would be okay… safe even, to act like a love struck teenager. She had been so intent on Rick's journey back to mental health, that she did not even realize that he was helping her heal as well.

"Sometimes you astound me, Richard. How can you be so perceptive at a time like this?"

"My ego wants to kick me in the balls for turning your very persuasive offer down, believe me, but I really want the timing to be right. I am scared that if it's not right that I will lose you, and I am honest enough with myself and you that I don't want that to happen."

"Okay if you were truly lousy in bed I might just leave," she joked then smiled, "but I know that's not going to be the case, my body is telling me that we are going to be phenomenal together."

"Well there you have it; my ego and your lust are in perfect agreement."

A/N: I apologize for the shortness but the fact that i have had to dig out of 24 inches of snow this week plus it being Christmas week and having to work for a living has just "plum tuckered me out" as some of my Virginia brethren might say (by now you should be able to tell I am a bit punchy). If this is incoherent then please forgive me. In all honesty this is probably the last update that I will be able to do.... until the new year. So Peace and Happy Holidays to one and to all. I have a piece of Christmas Castle fic that i may try to put to pen next week but it will certainly depend on me getting some much needed rest before then. Peace out!!!