A/N: Hey I only missed the every other day deadline by a few hours. Since I am finishing this at around 2:30 am please try to ignore the Typos and Grammar. Enjoy.

Masks Chapter 26

Castles Apartment

Kate and Castle

She had stayed in his bathroom longer than her nightly ablutions normally took. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, she had never, in her adult life, slept in a man's bed without first having sex with him. She tried to convenience herself that the times she had fallen asleep with Castle on his couch counted but for her they did not. It was a big step in their relationship and she knew it. Nervously she pulled on her extra large NYPD tee shirt and a pair of jogging shorts. She briefly fantasized about what Lingerie she would wear when they actually 'slept together' but quashed the thought when her body began to tingle at the idea.

Her fears had been groundless when she actually stepped out of the bathroom Castle was lying atop the bed clad in tee shirt and pajama pants covered with snoopy in various poses. She laughed, the golden sound cascaded throughout the room.

"What?" Rick queried.

"Peanuts?" Kate giggled.

"Hey, my adoring daughter gave me these for Father's Day last year. Show some respect." Rick grinned.

"Does that make me Peppermint Patty…. Charlie Brown?"

"No you are so, Lucy. You are always so bossy. I hope my choice in lounge wear has been a success?"

"Success?"

"I figured we would both be a little bit on edge. This being the first time we will have slept in the same bed. I am sure that this is a first for both of us. Sleeping with someone else sans sex?"

"In my adult life at least, which side of the bed do you normally sleep on?"

"The middle." Rick quipped.

"When you have company?" Kate was a trifle exasperated.

"I usually let the lady choose. So which side do you want?" Rick asked.

"The middle." Beckett rejoined.

"Touché, when you have gentlemen callers which side do you claim?"

"Usually the right…."

"Done…." Rick quickly shuffled over to the left side of the bed.

Kate was about to protest but was stopped when Castle suddenly turned off the light. Kate sighed and lay down. She naturally turned onto her right side and snuggled against his warmth. He rolled so that he was spooning against her back and tentatively wrapped his arm around her. To show her approval she placed her arm over his. Her nose twitched when she smelled his cologne. Comfort spread throughout her body and a warm sleepy haze settled over her mind.

"Castle?"

"Hmmmm" came his sleepy reply.

"Are you still having the nightmares?"

"Not every night but still most nights. I had one at the precinct this afternoon, real intense, so I most likely will not have one tonight. I don't usually have more than one a day so I should be good tonight."

"I wish there was something I could do to keep them at bay. I feel so helpless. There should be some way to keep the nightmares at bay."

" Doc Simmons says that as soon as I can come to grips with the shooting and all that it means, I should get rid of the nasty side effects." Castle yawned.

Kate started and the sleepy feeling vanished, "What will Alexis think about this?"

"My daughter is not in the habit of coming into my room so until we walk out of here in the morning she won't know." Castle said lazily. "Besides she loves you as much as I do so she will probably be happy. She certainly knows that I am not looking for a one night stand with you… anymore…"

"Anymore? What do you mean, anymore?"

"When I first met you, our very first case, when I suggested that we debrief each other, I wasn't looking for any relationship at all. As I got to know you, I realized that a quick fling was not what I wanted with you. You are so unlike any woman I had ever met that I knew that I wanted something more with you. I did not even realize how much you meant to me until you said that we were through. That left a gaping hole in my heart. If I didn't have Alexis and my mother I don't think I would have made it through."

"I think you are waxing a little poetic."

"No Kate, I wanted to die. I realized that I wanted you to be in my life so much that when you weren't, I didn't see much point to living."

"Richard you are scaring me. You were still able to finish Heat Wave during that time. You couldn't possibly been that devastated."

"Writing Heat Wave was the only way that I could still be with you. Paula was right Heat Wave was a love letter to you."

Kate was silent for a while. It was frightening to her to see how invested Rick was in the relationship. It was so easy to forget just how intense he could be. His devil may care attitude hid his inner thoughts so well that sometimes it came as a surprise when they were revealed. Kate's fear of her relationships flared to near super nova proportions. How could she match the intensity of emotion? Could they sustain the relationship in the face of such a maelstrom? Were they doomed to crash and burn? Was she willing to risk her psyche on the slim chance that they could make this work?

She was just about to bolt from the bed when she remembered what her mother had once said to her after one of her High School crushes had flamed out. Joanna had come into Kate's room and tried to console her daughter. 'Love is not for the Apathetic, Katie. Sometimes Love is so hot that it burns other times it is too bright and we have to turn away, but sometime it is like a warm and cozy fire in a fireplace. If it is mishandled it can burn but when it is embraced, even though we are afraid that it will consume us, it will sustain us and sometimes even purify us. It will always burn bright and give us strength.' Was this the type of love she had for Castle?

"Richard…." Kate whispered.

All she got as a reply was the sound of deep breathing.

"Richard…. I love you……"

##

Kate did not fall asleep for a long time. Her mind constantly churned with her dilemma. She picked and worried at her situation. She was afraid of losing herself in her relationship with Castle. Could she be with Richard and still be Detective Kate Beckett? At some point during the night Rick began to work a subtle magic on her. It became increasingly hard to stay worried. His sleepy warmth began to coil around her. The quiet strength of his arm wrapped around her helped her ward off her fears. Once when Richard had moved in his sleep his had slipped from her waist and had unconsciously cupped her right breast. She gave a shiver of pleasure as she waited to see what he might do next. His hand stayed stationary and still. Without the fear dominating her brain she was able to enjoy her situation. She vowed that she would see this love through, knowing that she could not regret being with Castle. When sleep finally claimed her, her thoughts were of Rainy Sundays spent curled up in this bed with the man spooned up behind her and of walks on a beach at sunset….

##

Morning

Kate woke up slowly. The sound of the patter of rain gently roused her. The feel of Rick's hand softly caressing her side made her feel lazy and content. Her internal clock told her that it was still early and that dawn was still a ways off. She stretched and gave out a contented moan, her nostrils caught the bitter sweet tang of French roast coffee that Richard was partial to. She could definitely get used to waking up like this.

"How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Like the dead."

"How so writeresque of you. How did you get up without waking me? I am usually a light sleeper."

"I haven't gotten up yet. I have been lying here beside you enjoying the feel of you beside me."

"I smell coffee."

"Ah, well we rich and famous writers can afford coffee makers with timers built in so the coffee is ready when we wake up."

"Well aren't we just so fru-fru"

"I want you to know that it has been extremely difficult resisting the temptation to ravish you. You are extremely sexy when you sleep."

"That sounds like it would have been kinda fun" Kate said stretching to give Castle an even better view.

Kate could see Rick swallow hard and he almost flew off the bed.

"Where are you going Stud Muffin?" she cooed.

"The Shower, a very cold shower." Rick replied

Kate chuckled and reveled in her power to turn the Bad Boy on.

A/N: I usually write Sci fiand Fantasy so I don't know how I devolved into Romance (sigh)! Anyway let me know what you think.