The tent that Clarke would be staying in for the night was larger than some. Clarke assessed it and figured it had belonged to a small family. There was a double bed pushed up against the corner opposite the door, covered in animal skins. A dining table was opposite the bed, with one chair placed underneath. There was another spot large enough for another single bed, but it was empty. The parents probably died in the bomb. The kids too, maybe, Clarke thought. She shivered. The tent had clearly already been emptied of all its valuables, but luckily the skins were left so she wouldn't freeze to death that night.
As she walked toward the bed, images of the wreckage of the bomb filled Clarkes mind. She pictured broken bodies of men, women and children. She unwillingly tried to recall who might have lived in this cabin. "Enough," she said to herself.
She crawled under the skins and tried to take her mind off of the destruction that kept invading her thoughts. She thought of Camp Jaha, but it made her sad to think of her friends without her. She thought of the Arc, but it made her think of her mother, and she felt both guilt and anger. That anger made her think of her father, but the thought was too painful. What would Dad think of me now? Clarke thought over this carefully, but had to stop. The possibility of her father's disapproval was not what she needed right now.
Be strong. Love is weakness, Clarke thought to herself, hearing Lexa's words in her mind. She tried to picture Lexa saying those words to her. She started with her hair, long and brown with intricate braids, knots and beads. She moved on to her face, small but analysing and sharp. She imagined taking a paintbrush to make the warpaint that surrounded Lexa's eyes. Here she stopped. Those eyes. Full of fury, full of betrayal, Clarke thought. She tried so hard to hate those eyes. Yet, she could not help but to remember their softer appearance. Those were the eyes she had seen when she saved Lexa from the gorilla. They were the eyes she saw as they camped out together afterwards. And they were the eyes she saw before Lexa had placed her lips on Clarkes.
Those lips, thought Clarke. Full, pink and pouty. Clarke recalled their soft eagerness as Lexa kissed her. She imagined those lips on her own again. And then moving on to her cheek, her neck…
Clarke awoke in the tent, the sunshine of the next morning pooling over her through the fabric walls of the tent. She groaned and rose out of bed. Her stomach growled. I guess I didn't eat much yesterday. And I walked so far. I wonder how late it is, she thought.
When Clarke pulled the curtain of the tent aside, she saw the sun blinding her from the center of the sky. Tondc was bustling, with men, women and even children clearing rubble, rebuilding tents and preparing meals. Clarke analysed the scene, trying to spot Lexa. She found her bodyguard instead, and started walking toward him.
"Sky person. Here, food." The eloquence of the body guard made Clarke laugh as she accepted the plate of a watery oatmeal, nuts and berries, and glass of water. She headed for table set up close to the fire where some children were also eating and began to feast. The meal reminded her of one she and Lexa had shared over battle strategy meetings at the Mountain. Lexa had been so relaxed in her natural state, planning war. Clarke was busy wondering if she would ever see that side of Lexa again when she noticed a shadow standing over her.
"Clarke, you are up finally. Good. We must continue our discussion from last night." Lexa had freshly bathed, her hair still damp. She had not yet painted on her black mask. I wonder if that's because we are at peace now, Clarke thought.
She followed Lexa into her tent, choosing her words. Now that she had rested and eaten, she was not full of the same anger as she had been last night. She remembered the thoughts she had fallen asleep to. Yet, Lexa had still abandoned her people in her time of need. Forgiveness would be a long way off.
When Clarke went to speak, Lexa interrupted. "I want to offer my apologies for what I did at the mountain. I know I betrayed your trust and your people. But I am happy to hear you found your friends."
Clarke stood, waiting for her to continue. She folded her arms, looking unimpressed.
"You must understand that the only way I would get my people back is through a deal with the Mountain Men. As a leader, I expect you would do the same for your people."
Clarke remained silent. She wanted it to be because she was not swayed by Lexa's words. But honestly, she did not know if she would have done the same or not.
"I want to make it up to you...to your people. I want to renew the alliance between my people and yours. We still need help to cure the prisoners from the Mountain and the Reapers." Lexa moved closer, keeping eye contact with Clarke. "And your people need an alliance with us. The war brought all the clans together unlike ever before. We are more of a threat to you as an enemy now."
"So you're making it up to me by not killing everyone I love? Gee, thanks" was the only reply Clarke gave.
Lexa broke eye contact and quickly looked at the ground. Perhaps she will never forgive me, she thought. But I still need to try. "I also wanted to once again offer to take you to the Capital, Polis. You can see all the beauty of my land, and act as a representative of your people. I will of course arrange your travels home as well. I have to leave for Polis soon, but I will be returning to Tondc in three weeks to aid in the rebuilding effort."
Clarke was taken aback. She had completely forgotten the offer, and had no idea what to respond with. Lexa waited, but Clarke said nothing.
"I only ask that before we leave, you return to your people once more to make news of the alliance. I do not want my people to be shot by your guards."
"I can't go back," Clarke whispered. "Not after what I've done. I can't face them."
Lexa stepped forward, and reached out her hand to Clarkes shoulder. "Your people do not fear you. They owe you their lives."
Clarke began to argue her, but they were interrupted by a guard. "Someone here to see you, Commander." He backed out, and into the tent walked Bellamy.
"Clarke?," he said, and walked up to her.
"Bellamy!" Clarke hugged him and smiled. Even though they had only been apart for a day, it was still good to see him. "How is everyone at Camp? How is my mom? How is Raven?"
Bellamy laughed at her bombardment of questions. "Everyone is fine, including your mom and Raven. The medical team were up all night getting everyone stitched up. Why are you here?"
The Commander interrupted. "I was just informing Clarke that the terms of our alliance still stand. She was going to relay the information back to you."
Clarke squinted her eyes at Lexa, disapproving her interjection. But Bellamy was happy with the news. "Well, I guess I didn't need to come here then." He turned to Clarke. "Are you coming back with me, or what?"
"Lexa offered me to accompany her to the Grounder Capital, Polis. It could be an important step in the alliance." Clarke saw Lexa smile from the corner of her eye. "I'd be returning in three weeks, along with a rebuilding team for Tondc."
Bellamy pulled Clarke in close. "Are you sure that's wise right now? They did just betray us on the battlefield."
"Clarke will have nothing to worry about. And besides, you know where she's going and who to come looking for if something goes wrong," interjected the Commander.
"I don't need you to speak for me," stabbed Clarke.
Bellamy looked at Clarke with worry. She held his gaze, and gave a faint smile and nod. "It will be okay. We need to know more about the place we live." Bellamy nodded in response, and took the walkie talkie off his belt. "Take this. Now that Mount Weather isn't jamming our signal anymore, Raven could alter the walkies to be long range. It may not reach as far as Polis, but at least it's something. If there's any trouble, we can call each other."
Clarke took the radio and cradled it carefully in her hands. "Thank you. Take care of everyone for me."
"Of course," smiled Bellamy.
They hugged once more, and Bellamy left to return the message to Camp Jaha.
"Now, we better get on the road," said Lexa in a cold voice, as she left the tent after him.