After dinner was over, the table was moved to the side of the room, and two young women entered the hall to perform a dance for the Commander and Clarke, aided by a band of young men and percussion instruments. The chairs were arranged in a semi-circle around the performers. Washington left the tent for a moment, and returned with a small group of other Bandok people to watch the performance. Drinks were passed around and the spectators began to chat as the young women moved their feet and hips to music being played.
"This looks like a sort of Native American dance," Clarke said to Lexa, who was sitting beside her in silence, watching the performance.
Lexa turned to look at Clarke quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"Native Americans? The people who lived on the American continent before the arrival of the Europeans? Don't the Grounders have any sense of history?"
"We have oral legends about the time of the Cataclysm. Most books were burned for heat when our people were trying to survive, while yours fled to the sky. Those that remain are in poor shape. But in Polis we do have scholars of ancient history."
"But the regular people, the villagers, they aren't taught about the past?" Clarke moved closer to Lexa, quieting her voice in case her words offended the other members of the audience.
Lexa thought for a moment, and replied "Our lives are about survival, Clarke. If it's not other tribes, it's wild animals, or droughts and floods. We just don't have the time for talking about something as useless as ancient history. All of that is over, done with. It doesn't matter to us now."
Clarke stared in wonderment at Lexa and her words. Do they really just cast aside history? How am I supposed to make common ground with them now? She turned to the performance, but her thoughts were surrounding strategy. How do I make the Grounders trust me if I don't have history on my side? Clarke had never been much into Earth history lessons on the Arc, but she studied enough to know the basics. She had been relying on telling those stories and drawing the common history of the Grounders and her people in order to make a lasting alliance. But now she had to start from scratch.
The performance ended, and Lexa and Clarke were approached by members of the Bandok community. Clarke felt bombarded with questions about life in space. She was asked if she had wings, about falling to earth, about legends of people on Earth. She tried to answer each question as simply as possible, but they were getting difficult and she was tired.
After an hour, Lexa grabbed Clarke by the arm and turned to the rest of the crowd. "We are going to rest. We will answer more questions in the morning. Goodnight." Lexa led Clarke past a curtain that divided the entertaining and eating space of the building from the resting space. Clarke expected there to be a hallway leading to separate bedrooms for her and Lexa, but instead saw two medium sized beds sitting beside each other across the far wall.
Lexa walked toward the bed on the right, sat down and removed her shoes. Clarke did the same thing at the bed on the left. She looked at Clarke to see if there was anything she was supposed to do next. Do Grounders pray before bed like some people on the Arc? Instead she saw Lexa unbuttoning her shirt.
"What the hell are you doing?" Clarke asked, trying to be as quiet as possible. The curtain that separated the beds from the entertaining space wasn't soundproof, and there were still people leaving the building.
"Getting ready for bed." Lexa had no idea what Clarke was going on about.
"But you're taking off your clothes!"
"Yes. These clothes are for not for sleeping." Lexa got up and went to the small end table at the opposite side of the bed, in the corner of the room. She opened the top drawer and got out a light gray gown with longsleeves and held it up to Clarke. Speaking slowly as if Clarke didn't speak English, she said "This is for sleeping in."
Clarke became frustrated at Lexa's attitude. "Listen, I'm not changing out of these clothes in front of you. I don't even want to be sleeping in the same room as you. I still haven't forgiven you for what you did at Mount Weather."
Lexa walked toward her, the lower buttons on her shirt remaining. "I have apologized. I have invited you on this trip, and treated you with civility. I have made you an honoured guest. What more am I supposed to do before you forgive me?" By the end of her speech, Lexa's voice had gotten louder that usual.
"You think I'm supposed to forgive you just because you've strung me along on this trip?" Clarke didn't care if there was anyone else on the other side of the curtain now, she was so angry with Lexa's assumption. "Taking me with you doesn't change the fact that you abandoned me on the battlefield. You left me and my people to die!"
"I did not leave you to die! You could have left with us and taken your losses. It was your choice to kill all those people in the Mountain for the sake of your friends. I did not force that upon you!"
Clarke's blood boiled. "If it wasn't for your cowardice, we would have stuck to the plan and fought our way into the mountain to save our people!"
Lexa was furious at the accusation. As she spoke, she moved closer to Clarke until she was inches away from her. She spoke calmly, but with loathing as she said "How dare you accuse me of being a coward. I made a diplomatic decision. Just because you chose more death over diplomacy does not make me a coward."
Clarke stood still and silent in front of Lexa. Her words had cut her deep. She was reminded of all the death she had caused at Mount Weather. She could feel the heat rising from her cheeks to her eyes, and tears beginning to form. She tried to hold it in, but she couldn't.
Lexa stood there awkwardly. She wanted so badly to console Clarke, to make her whole again, to take the bad memories away from her. She wanted to lay with her on the bed and stroke her golden hair gently as she fell asleep. But they were fighting, and Clarke had not forgiven her yet. She may never fully trust her again.
She couldn't help herself, she put one arm forward on top on Clarke's shoulder. Clarke didn't recoil as she anticipated she would, but she didn't move forward into Lexa's embrace as she wanted her to. Instead, they looked in each other's eyes.
"I am sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for this whole situation" Lexa said softly.
Clarke looked down at the ground. She remained silent.
Agitated, Lexa removed her hand from Clarke's shoulder and took a step back. "I still need to prove myself as a leader to these people, Clarke. Right now is not a good time to go to war. It could spark controversy within my rule. The alliance is fragile."
"I noticed some people wouldn't make eye contact with you in the procession. It looked like an act of defiance" Clarke replied.
"Yes. There are some that disapprove of me because I opted for alliance with the other tribes instead of war, which is our way."
Clarke mulled her words over. So the truce with Mount Weather was a statement, not a retreat she thought. But that doesn't make what she did any better.
"I know you had to make a statement at Mount Weather for politics sake. But you still abandoned my people. You abandoned me," Clarke said softly, looking down at her feet.
Lexa took a step forward, and lifted Clarke's chin so their eyes met. "I did not abandon you." She gazed over Clarke's face, from her bright blue eyes to her soft pink mouth. She wanted so badly to pick up where they had left off before all this started happening. But she refrained, and dropped her hand to her side. "But I can't help you if I am not in command. And starting a war with the Mountain Men would have put my command in jeopardy. A new Commander might not be so hospitable to the Sky People."
Clarke and Lexa stood there, staring into each others eyes, for a few moments. They both had thoughts about the other and their last kiss circulating in their minds. But they also both knew that this was not the time or the place for their desires to come out.
Clarke was the first to look away, taking a step backward toward her bed. "I forgive you." She said simply. Lexa let out a deep sigh of relief. But she remained in place, not knowing what Clarke wanted at that moment.
"Goodnight," Clarke announced, turning her back on Lexa and toward the end table beside her bed. She opened the drawer and found a similar nightgown to Lexas. She turned around and saw that Lexa had likewise gone to the opposite side of her bed to put the nightgown on with her back to her. With a little embarrassment, she put the nightgown on. She placed her clothes on the end of the bed, and climbed in beneath the fur sheets.