"Ne, Hayato-kun…?" Sleepily lifting his head from Gokudera's chest a few weeks later, Bel tried to blink his exhaustion away.

Gokudera put down the magazine on cryptoids he had been reading, looking at the boy curled up against him. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was…" Raising his hand to slip beneath his long bangs, Bel rubbed at his eyes. Yawning, he next said, "I wanna do something with you…"

"Like what?" Cupping Bel's cheek, Gokudera waited patiently for an answer.

"Hmmm… I don't know. What do you wanna do, Hayato-kun?"

"I need to go into town soon and get some stuff." Sliding further up the mattress, the older male made himself more comfortable. "You can come with."

The blond nodded. With his exhaustion shining through, he whispered, "I wanna…"

Reaching out to sit Bel on his lap, Gokudera held the smaller body close to him. "Go and jump in the shower while I get ready. Want a hot chocolate?"

"Three sugars… Don't forget them again, Hayato-kun…" Slowly bringing himself onto his own feet, Bel didn't wait for the other to reply; he simply dragged himself across the room with a clear limp to his gait; his left leg was still banged up from the previous attack on them, and the nurses who had cared for him weren't sure if it would heal properly.

Gokudera was quick to the leave the room so that he could head down to the kitchen and make himself a coffee; despite it being early afternoon, he was still rather tired himself.

Making Bel's hot chocolate first, Gokudera shuddered as he dropped the sugar into the mug; how could Bel drink this shit? Shaking his head at the younger's antics, the Vongola Storm continued on with his task; at least the blond had calmed down considerably over the weeks, and Gokudera no longer felt like snapping his neck every time he so much as heard the younger's name.

When Bel was behaving himself so well, Gokudera couldn't help but let himself grow attached a little more each day to his Varia counterpart. However, he didn't think about what it could mean – he couldn't think about it, not entirely sure he wanted to know his true feelings towards Bel.

With a sigh, he poured milk and hot water into both mugs, decorating the hot chocolate with a few marshmallows to keep the blond happy. Taking a seat in the dining room, he drank his coffee in silence as he waited for Bel to get out of the shower; he knew all too well how long the kid could take in there.

"Yo, Gokudera."

Lifting his head at his name, Gokudera sighed as he found Yamamoto approaching him. "What do you want, baseball freak?"

"You've been spending so much time with Bel lately; none of us have really seen you very much of you."

"You got a problem with that?" Narrowing his eyes, Gokudera took another sip of coffee.

"Of course not; I'm really happy Bel is getting along so well with someone." Rubbing at his eye, the taller male then said, "Is it true? Are you and Bel really dating now? Because Mukuro said you are, but I don't know whether to believe him."

"I'm not answering that, baseball freak." Standing up from his chair, Gokudera drank the last bit of his coffee before putting the mug back on the table. Snatching up the hot chocolate, he started walking away. "Whatever the knife freak and I are is no one's business but our own. Butt out of it."

Yamamoto frowned. He knew he shouldn't have been so tactless; his friend was still hurting over losing his girlfriend, and with Bel in the picture…

Well, it was no surprise that the silver-haired man was grouchy and defensive. Yamamoto just hoped that soon, Gokudera would be able to free himself from the burden he carried and finally move on.

~~XX~~

Staring out of the passenger window of Gokudera's car, Bel absentmindedly played with the sleeve of his striped shirt. He was watching the world go past him, his mind wandering; so many people going about their own business, and yet he was sure that all of them would be a most satisfying slaughter, and none of them even realised it.

"What are you thinking about?"

Turning to look at Gokudera, Bel blinked. Cocking his head to the side, he said, "Hayato-kun wouldn't be interested."

"Yeah?" Sending the younger a challenging glance, Gokudera turned his attention back to the road in front of them. "Why's that?"

Bristling, Bel simply said, "Because Hayato-kun doesn't share my artistic views."

Falling silent, the silver-haired male dropped it; he knew what was going through his boyfriend's head now, and he didn't want to hear about it; Bel was twisted and unstable, and Gokudera wanted nothing to do with that side of the younger.

"What was your girlfriend like?"

Looking back at the smaller male, Gokudera frowned; he hadn't expected such a question, and he wasn't sure he wanted to answer it; it pained him greatly to talk about his girlfriend. "…Why do you ask?"

Disregarding that question, Bel continued on. "Was she pretty?"

"…" Thinking back to curly black hair Gokudera had loved to run his hands through, the young man felt a lump forming in his throat. "…Yes… She was… the most beautiful person I'd ever seen…"

Wondering if Gokudera would have found her more attractive if he were to drag his blades through her body in order to paint her flesh with her own blood, Bel sat up a little straighter. "You were in love?"

Gokudera nodded. "…"

Licking his lips, Bel asked the question that bothered him most; why did it annoy him to think that the answer could be yes? "Did you ever have sex with her?"

"Of course, Bel. We… We almost had a baby together… But she miscarried…"

Bel couldn't care about that; it only made him dislike a woman he had never met even more – Gokudera was his, and Bel didn't like sharing. "How did she die? Was there lots of blood?"

Putting his foot on the brake, Gokudera flinched at the memories he wished didn't plague him all the time. "…Yes, Bel… There was… More blood than I thought could spill from someone… And she died in my arms after what felt like forever…"

"What happened?" Pulling one of his knives from his pocket, Bel licked at the blade.

"…She was held hostage; used as a bargaining tool for information on the Vongola… There were too many in that family for us to handle by ourselves; we had the Varia join us. You – well… your self from this timeline, that is… You got too excited and acted against orders; you made the first move when you had been told several times not to… One of your knives went off course and made the first mark in her. From there… they had no use for her anymore… With your own knife, they tortured her…"

"Do you hate me for it?" His head tilting further, Bel held his breath; it would be reasonable to assume that Gokudera would hold ill feelings for him after this incident, but…

To be honest, Bel had never sensed anything like that from Gokudera since his time here in this other timeline.

"I never blamed you." Whispering, Gokudera felt tears well up in his eyes. "Never… You hadn't meant for it to happen; none of us had noticed a break in that length of wire… The knife didn't follow the others, and there was nothing any of us could do about it; by the time we realised, it was too late. That… wasn't your fault…"

"Does my older self know you don't blame me?"

Shaking his head, Gokudera flicked his indicator on so that he could park his car, feeling too emotionally unstable to continue driving. "We haven't… ever spoken about that night. When it happened… When it happened, Squalo and Lussuria took you away so I couldn't see you. I didn't see you again for a few months, and the next time we were together… we both pretended it never happened."

"This is the first time it's come up between us, then. And I… don't even know what you're talking about." Letting out a sigh, Bel shook his head.

"I like talking about it to you, surprisingly." Rubbing at his eyes, Gokudera shrugged. "Somehow, it makes me feel a little lighter in telling you this."

With the car parked safely on the side of the road, Bel leant across in order to hug his boyfriend. "I'm sorry for what I did, Hayato-kun."

"Don't apologise; it's not your fault." Pushing back on frail shoulders, Gokudera next ran his hand through his silver locks. "You didn't do it, so don't apologise for actions you didn't do."

"I know. But I wanted to apologise anyway, Hayato-kun. I know I haven't been very good to you in my own time, and probably no better in this one, either. But you've looked after me very well now, and you didn't have to do that. Even Lussu and Squ haven't looked after me as well as you do."

"…" Closing his eyes, Gokudera tried not to feel; there were just too many emotions coursing inside of him, and he felt as if he would soon explode from the intensity of them all. "…Well… That's what you do when you care about someone… You take care of them…"

"Does that mean you care about me?" Sending his boyfriend a hopeful look, Bel was unaware of his heartbeat speeding up. "No one's cared about me, before. I mean… Lussu fussed over me sometimes, but… a lot of the time he got angry with me and hit me… Squ and Boss, too. Mammon is the only one who's never lost it at me, but I don't think she cares all that much for me, either."

"I don't think it's not that they don't care about you, Bel." Shaking his head, Gokudera tried to see it from the other Varia members' viewpoints; Bel could be an infuriating little shit, spoilt and selfish as all hell, so it wouldn't be surprising if the others were just losing their patience with him due to their stressful lives - it wasn't that they didn't care about their young teammate; it was that the blond was catching them on bad days and bringing it on himself. "Maybe it's just not a good time for them. You do piss people off easily, after all."

Humming softly as he thought things over, the boy's frown soon turned to a small smile. "Maybe, Hayato-kun~ Do you think if I listened to them, they would like me better?"

Reaching out to thread golden locks behind the smaller male's ear, Gokudera nodded. "Yeah, they should. I like you better now that we aren't fighting all the time."

"I always liked Hayato-kun lots~" Unaware of the way his cheeks started to darken with shyness, Bel cocked his head to the side, his long bangs tilting downwards and giving the Vongola Storm a glimpse into beautiful purple orbs. "Lots and lots~ I thought about you all the time, Hayato-kun~ Sometimes when I wasn't feeling right and couldn't sleep, thinking about Hayato-kun made me feel better~"

Gokudera chuckled. He moved his hand from Bel's hair in order to cup the younger's soft cheek. "Is that so?"

"Yup~" Closing the distance between their faces, Bel rubbed his cheek against his boyfriend's. Wrapping his arms around the older male, he let out a shy giggle before whispering, "The prince wants to have his first time with you, Hayato-kun~"

"We're not doing it in my car." Pushing on Bel's shoulders so that the smaller male would give him some room, Gokudera sighed. "I'm not getting that shit all over my interior."

Bel giggled, his hips twitching in anticipation. "When we get home, then?"

Gokudera nodded. "I guess. Unless you're chicken and decide to back out; it's going to hurt."

Pouting, Bel folded his arms against his chest before huffing. "Don't underestimate me, Hayato-kun!"

Gokudera laughed. "Okay, okay. Just sit back down so I can start driving again."

Bel did as he was told, remembering what Gokudera had said; others might like him better if he listened instead of arguing and refusing to do what he was told like he always did with his fellow Varia members. It wasn't that he cared what people thought about him, or if they even wanted him around in the first place; it was simply, now that he knew what it was like to have someone care about him, he wanted to see if he could change his relationships with most of the other Varia. If they still hated him, then that was fine; he would simply hate them back. But if they decided to give him a bit of care and kindness like Gokudera…

Then just maybe, Bel would finally let down his walls and behave himself better.

While Bel had begun daydreaming in the passenger seat, Gokudera couldn't help but feel lighter than he had in a long time. Had it been because he had finally talked things out with someone? With Bel, no less?

Whatever the reason, Gokudera felt as if the current smile on his face was genuinely happy; not one laced with hidden agony like it had been ever since his girlfriend's death.

A/N Does anyone want me to do the lemon? If I were to do it, I would only leave it up here for a few days for everyone to read it before cutting out the lemon and moving it to my adultfanfiction account (username Shadow15) as to not compromise my account.