This story was inspired by the story Welcome to Night Vale by cupidity11

This is Carlos/Cecil, rated M for possible adult themes and language (though I doubt I need it but it's better to be safe than sorry)

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"I told you, Carlos." The little girl said to me. I blinked and turned around, and sure enough there was a little girl holding a knife. She came for me, lunging and stabbing me in the shoulder. I screamed out, but no sound came out of my mouth. I was stabbed repeatedly, and I kicked and finally screamed out loud, getting her to stab me harder.

Close your eyes.

I followed what the voice told me to do.

Let my words wash over you. You are safe now.

Slowly I opened my eyes. Gregory was flicking his tail angrily at me. He glared. I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I said. Gregory meowed impatiently, and I sighed. I picked him up and carried him off of the radio. Cecil was talking, but I wasn't really listening to him. I felt a little guilty for not listening to him.

"He works hard, that's for sure." I muttered under my breath. I got Gregory his cereal and ate mine, sighing. I picked up my journal and wrote down what happened yesterday, since I'd been so freaked out by that little girl… Who am I kidding, could it even be a little girl?

"What else could it be, a fucking shape shifter?" I mutter, "I wouldn't be surprised."

Gregory mewed at me. I looked at him. I sighed. This city was getting to me. I didn't know why. I sighed again. I got a call from Amber. I sighed, picking it up.

"City Council is going to remove that shape in Grove Park." She said.

"Are they?" I asked, trying to sound interested.

"Are you alright?" Amber replied. I sighed, rubbing my head.

"I've been fucked up ever since I saw the damn picture." I told her. I heard her sigh.

"This really isn't like you." She said, "The sudden peeved-ness you've been giving us and the sudden outbursts of swearing…"

"I don't know what's wrong." I told her, "If I did I'd get help but…"

"Do you not trust anyone?" She asked.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to see a psychiatrist from this town?" I asked her in response. She chuckled.

"Yeah some of the other people who did ended up leaving us." She said, "Do as you need, ok?"

"I think I need a day off or something." I told her.

"Take one today." She said. I nodded, chuckling.

"Alright. You can run things?" I asked her.

"Of course Carlos!" She said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." I replied. She hung up the phone after saying her goodbyes. I hung up my end and sighed, rubbing my head. I hadn't slept well these past few weeks. That little girl, if it was a girl, freaked me out. When would they open the door? It was killing me. I looked up at the ceiling and sighed again. I closed my eyes. I sat there for a while before opening them again. It had been a whole ten minutes. Gregory looked at me and nuzzled my hand.

"Fine. I'll head to bed." I told him. He perked up and jumped over to the bed, curling up on the pillow next to mine. I followed after him, a little sluggish. I climbed into the bed, wrapped myself up in the covers, and fell asleep to Cecil's voice.

Cortez said that research indicates that consumers are more likely to buy products if they are available and for sale, and that Green Market and Grocery shoppers tend to purchase food items. Cortez said that the decision to sell food at the Green Market was a controversial one, as many board members and Co-Op shareholders feel fruit and vegetable sales will interfere with their ongoing secretive domestic espionage operations.

When reached for comment, our source within the Secret Police only breathed heavily into the phone while tapping and as-yet uncracked code into the receiver.

I looked over at Cecil, who was watching me with careful purple eyes. He smiled. I grinned at him.

"It's amazing to think that you'd willingly come with me." He said, his voice sounding nervous but flawless as ever.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Why not? I mean, you need my help." I told him. He smiled. Cecil played for me the code of tapping. I listened and sighed.

"What is it?" He asked me.

"Morse code." I told him. I got up and grabbed my bag, digging through it a little. I glanced back and Cecil had stood up. He began to walk over to where I was standing, and hugged me. I closed my eyes and pretended not to see. It was very warm. He pressed his lips to my neck.

"Sandero could not be reached for comment. Probably. We didn't try." Cecil mumbled into my neck. I turned around.

"What?" I asked him. He smiled and shook his head. I was slightly taller than Cecil, and my lips met his forehead, which had his closed eye. The eye was as smooth as the rest of his skin. I then kissed his nose.

"Nothing left. You can let go now. Let go. Shhhhh. Let go." Cecil said. I barely touched his soft lips with mine.

Tired of your home?

I jumped awake. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sitting up. I was blushing intensely. I glanced around nervously. I blinked heavily and scratched my head. My phone began to ring again.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Did you just wake up?" Amber asked.

"I did." I told her.

"How was your nap?" She asked. I paused for a minute, but decided I shouldn't mention it.

"Why are you calling?" I asked her.

"The shape moved." She said, "Right in front of the radio station too."

"Hmm…" I said.

"What should we do?" She asked. I sighed.

"Even if we get most everyone out of the building, Cecil is a stubborn man and won't leave until his show is over." I told her, "I'd keep an eye on it, but don't evacuate the building until we absolutely need to."

"Alright. Oh by the way, I'm coming over." She said.

"Now?!" I asked, jumping out of bed.

"Yes, now. Do whatever you need to do." She said, hanging the phone up. I grabbed some cloths and got in the shower right away. I cleaned up and got out and was able to mostly dry my hair and comb it out before a knock came to my door. I sighed and opened it.

"Hey I brought rom-coms and ice cream." She said. She smiled.

"You're so funny." I told her, letting her in. She saw Gregory and immediately awed.

"You have a cat?" She asked.

"Yeah." I told her, "He just kinda wandered in the hotel room I had and I never got rid of him. Besides, he saved my life when books were broken."

"Oh?" She said, petting him. He seemed ok with her.

"Yeah. The book grabbed me with a tentacle appendage and tried to eat me." I told her, sitting down.

"Oh shit dude." She said. I nodded. Amber sat across from me. She smiled at me.

"Cecil." She said, "He's so cute."

I think I must have given her a look, because she was taken aback.

"You don't think so?" She asked. I clenched my jaw, remembering my dream. I began to flush a little.

"Oh so you do think he's cute!" She said.

"I…" I began, but sighed.

"You what?"

"I don't know what to think."

"Why not?"

"Well, he's a creepy stalker. He's been talking about me left and right, whenever I do something he's instantly reporting it. It's bothersome."

"But…?"

"Well, his voice. Try to tell me it's not in the least bit attractive."

Amber stared at me for a little, and I was surprised by my honesty. I blinked a couple of times and sighed, smiling a little.

"Well his voice is amazing." She said, "I want him to read me bedtime stories."

"Yeah." I said. I felt a sense of relief that I had someone to talk to about my weird and confused feelings.

"What happened in your dream though?" She asked me.

"I was listening to the radio as I fell asleep, so naturally it was about what I was listening to. Cecil had just gotten done telling everyone about the taps he heard in the phone. I was helping him solve it. I was standing near my bag looking for something, probably a book with Morse code in it, when he came and hugged me from behind." I told her.

"Oh my god…" She said, her voice a little high pitched. She had her hands on the side of her cheeks.

"It gets better." I told her, "He mumbled into my neck and I kissed his forehead and nose."

"Then go get him!" She said to me, pushing me a little. I chuckled.

"Not right now." I told her, "I don't want to make the first move."

"Why not?!" She asked. I raised my eyebrow, and she seemed to remember.

"Oh yeah." She said. The last time I made the first move and boldly asked to date someone, it led to me asking her to marry me, and her asking me for a divorce. I wasn't going to let that happen again. I don't think that I could handle that kind of a relationship again. We'd fallen silent, and the radio came through.

Now that I think about it, I have also never bothered to actually check whether this mic is attached to any sort of recording or broadcasting device.

And it is possible that I am alone in an empty universe, speaking to no one, unaware that the world has held aloft merely by my delusions and my smooth, sonorous voice. More on this story as it develops, I say, possibly only to myself.

"He's not dim, that's for sure." Amber told me, looking over.

"He gets very philosophical at times. I find it actually interesting. How did he end up working as a radio host?" I said, "It seems like he's bound to something less than he is."

"Oh stop it!" Amber cried out, "You're going to make my heart explode because it's so warm!"

"Well I'm sorry." I told her, "This hasn't happened for me in a while."

"I know which is why it's too cute." She said, "I can't wait for you two to become a thing."

"If he really is genuine about his feelings." I said. I glanced down at my hands, looking at my right finger.

"Stop it!" She said, picking up my head, "You deserve him just as much as he deserves you. He loves you, I promise!"

I nodded, taking her word for it externally of course. I knew she was probably right, but I was always self-conscious about that kind of thing.

"How have you and Johnson been?" I asked her. She sighed.

"He hates me." She said, "That's why I joked about bringing rom-coms and ice cream."

"What did you tell him?" I asked her.

"I told him he could go to hell for pulling my heart strings." She said, "And that nobody would love him because I'd find out who he was dating next and warn them that he's a heartless bastard."

"Amber…" I warned.

"It's true." She said. I sighed, and nodded.

"I told you that you could do better for yourself." I told her.

"So did I." She said, smiling.

"Touché my friend, touché." I said, smiling back at her.

"I'm glad we had this little talk." Amber said. My phone began to ring again. It was Samantha this time.

"What should you do?" Amber asked. I gave her a look as I answered the phone.

"Cecil came by wanting to see you." She said, "He wanted to talk to you about the moon."

"The moon?" I asked her, "Are you sure?"

"Listen to the radio." She said, abruptly hanging up. I closed my phone and listened.

Listeners, do you ever think about the moon? I was sitting outside last night looking at the moon and I thought, does anyone actually know what that thing is? Have there been any studies on this? I went to ask Carlos, but he hasn't been seen much since that treacherous Telly's vile haircut.

I winced when Cecil mentioned Telly.

The moon's weird though, right? It's there, and there, and then suddenly it's not. And it seems to be pretty far up. It is watching us? If not, what is it watching instead? Is there something more interesting than us? Hey, watch us moon! We may not always be the best show in the universe, but we try.

I began to chuckle softly. Amber was chuckling too.

"He has his moments." I said, and Amber nodded, now laughing. I shook my head.

"I actually want to see you explain it to him." Amber said. I smiled. I got a phone call by Cecil. I looked at Amber and raised my eyebrows, answering my phone.

"Hello?" I asked, as I always did.

"What is the moon? I would have asked you today at the lab but you weren't there." He said.

"I'll tell you later, you have a show on right now." I told him, "Maybe tomorrow night."

"Are you going to be free tomorrow?" He asked. He sounded genuinely excited about us going on a "date"

"Well no." I responded, "But I am going to be studying what happens when we put this green slime that started oozing out of the microwave a couple of days ago in the moonlight."

"Oh. So you can explain it to me then?" He said.

"Yes." I told him. He apologized for having to end our conversation quickly, thanking someone named Leland, and hung up the phone after I had said goodbye.

And now a continuation of our previous investigation into whether I am literally the only person in the world, speaking to myself in a fit of madness caused by my inability to admit the tragedy of my own existence.

Leland, our newest intern, recently brought me a cup of coffee. He is no longer in my field of vision, but I do still have the cup of coffee, which is well made and is giving me the needed pick-me-up to continue considering this terrifying possibility.

Is it possible that I only imagined Leland, and forgot making myself this cup of coffee? But then, who would have grown this coffee? Where was this coffee cup procured from?

"Well he just got off the phone with you!" Amber said, "How can he be alone?"

"He is having a crisis about his own existence, I think." I told her, "And he's just trying to figure it out."

"Well alright. If you kiss him he'd sure as hell know!" Amber teased.

I have to say, Leland's existence, as well as his finally speaking about the Shape that No One Else Would Speak About, has reassured me greatly about my lonely and solipsistic vigil here at this microphone.

He is handing me the note—thank you, Leland—lemme see here…ah.

It says that the City Council believes the reason for the violent reaction of the Shape Formerly in Grove Park that No One Acknowledges or Speaks About is because I have been acknowledging and speaking about it, which has made it angry. They urge me to stop speaking of it, and never do it again, and in exchange they'll move it somewhere else so we can get our front loading zone back.

After brief consideration…I have decided to accept the Council's offer, because they are trustworthy leaders looking out for our better future, and also because Leland just got vaporized by a strange red light emanating from the station entrance.

To the family of Leland, we thank you for his service to the cause of community radio, and join you in mourning his loss.

And, without further ado, nor ever again mentioning anything we shouldn't, let's go to the weather.

Gregory jumped up onto my lap, tearing my attention away from the music that was now playing. Amber and I had mindless chatter during the music section and a little into Cecil's final report before he departed.

"You're looking like you're going to pass out Carlos." Amber said, grabbing her purse.

"Thank you for coming over at least. And don't tell anyone about the conversation that took place today. I don't know if I'd be ready to tell people just yet." I told her.

"Your secret is safe with me." She said. She waved, and left me. I changed into my pajamas and crawled into my bed, snuggling under the covers.

Ladies, gentlemen, listeners, you.

I am speaking now but I am saying nothing. I am just making noises and, as it happens, they are organized in words and you should not draw meaning from this.

The service for Leland will be lovely. We will throw flowers and weep. He will be buried in the break room as is the custom. His family will come and moon about the coffee as though we have answers.

We do not have answers. I am not certain that we even have questions. I have chosen to not be certain of anything at all.

This is Cecil, generally, speaking to you, metaphorically, for Night Vale Community Radio.

And I would like to say in the most nebulous terms possible, and with no real world implications or insinuations of objective meaning:

Cecil had begun to hug me in my dream after the seventh sentence, and we were close enough to kiss. Cecil suddenly began to smile, and his words grazed my lips softly.

Goodnight listeners. Goodnight.

I know it's rare, two updates in one day?! I'm giving you lovely people this because I'm not sure if I'm going to be writing in this again, and so I'd like you all to have a little something to entertain yourselves with. I'm sorry if parts of this don't make much sense, I was half asleep while finishing this chapter up. I hope you all enjoy!