I had found him. Or to be more precise Erik had found me.

My reply was muffled by the weight of his gloved hand against my mouth. Erik released me roughly, so much so that when I stumbled away both feet met the icy water of the lake. I backed out as quickly as possible, turning in the encompassing darkness in an effort to relocate him. Erik was still near, I could feel his presence more than hear him, and certainly there was no light to let me know exactly where he was.

There was a scrape, a flicker of light and then the small lantern upon the stone floor released its poor glow. I forced a shiver away as I followed the feeble light upwards ( I swear it was from the cold mind you, not any fear I felt...once you have felt the flames of hell there are few things you truly fear, and my Erik was not one of those...no never again would I fear him.) but it was too late...he backed into the shadows.

"I asked you a question, Madame." His voice was colder than the dark waters of the lake.

"I..I was looking for you."

"Indeed? And should I be expecting the gendarmes at any moment? I am surprised they did not think to use you sooner."

"There is no one Erik...I am alone...I swear it."

"Ah yes...and I above anyone should be well aware of the worth of your sworn word. False promises are becoming quite your area of expertise Christine."

His words cut, I would be lying if I said they did not, but I could not retort harshly, for in God's truth knowing the pain I had caused him I was willing to endure anything for this opportunity.

"I know you are angry and.."

"Angry, Madame? You know nothing..." He stepped into the light then, his eyes flashing fire only a fraction before his hands grabbed my shoulders and yanked me to him. He was unmasked, but each side of his face, both the perfect and the marred, radiated the pain in his voice as he continued.

"You, you spoiled little bitch...did you not sheathe your dagger far enough into my heart the last time?"

"Erik I am sorry! You frightened me..."

"Yes I did, didn't I?" His grip tightened on my shoulders as he pulled me even closer. "Monsieur le Fantome is famous for that didn't you know? Or do I dare assume you were a totally ignorant fool about the opera ghost...that the tales of his infamous face weren't true?"

"No it wasn't that.."

"Of course it wasn't! Christine is afraid of many things other than poor, pitiful Erik! Even a spider cannot remain innocent in your world! And it has no cause to be considered ugly like Erik. Spiders are the way they are supposed to be! But a face like this! Christine cannot imagine that a benevolent God could create such a horror!" His face contorted with the effort to hold back tears. I remained frozen and silent in his grasp, unable to argue with any of his truths. How could God do this to someone?

"Enough with your lies!" The golden eyes turned to slits, reminding me of a snake ready to strike." That is what you are best at is it not, Madame? One can imagine the tale you told your husband to come here...or is he perhaps lurking around the corner waiting for your signal to shoot?" He gave a dramatic turn, dragging me with him as he searched for other intruders.

"I told you...I am alone."

"And why is that Madame? Did you lose some trinket on your last visit to my home? Something your precious Viscount couldn't replace?"

"There is."

"And what is that Madame?"

"You."

"Don't mock me Madame, I no longer have the patience for your childish games."

"Stop calling me Madame!" My temper flared at hearing the term again. "I am not married, and I am not playing games!"

Although obviously shocked by my outburst, Erik stood as a stone. The pain in his eyes was almost more than I could bear, and my mind racked itself for the fastest way to explain everything. My arms throbbed as the blood rushed back to the areas released from his harsh grip, yet I refused to either glance or step away from him. He would believe nothing I said.

Would he?

He would not.

So I said nothing and closed the space between us.

This kiss was utterly different from the last we had shared. Last time the tension of life and death hung in the air, the doubts of my reasons for kissing him, the hurt of being sent away...even if it was for my own safety

This time there was freedom, hope, and a numbing passion. Inexperience melted away as the cold paleness of his lips fell upon mine. My hands held his face much the same as the last time, but his hands, those beautiful musician's hands, changed. The last time they hung limply by his side in disbelief, now they pulled me hard against his body, no space left between us at all.

Suddenly Erik's mouth froze on mine as his body stiffened, and a primal groan sounded deep in his throat. With a harshness I was well familiar with he pushed me back, the cold air rushing into the space where his warmth had just been.

"What?" My fingers moved up to lips that were now swollen from his kiss.

"Leave me."

It was my turn now to stand as a stone, frozen in place, in near disbelief at his words.

"I said leave woman! Go!" His anger was formidable indeed, but I had not come here to lose again.

"I can't leave..."

"Oh I assure you it is most simple...take the damned lantern and return the way you came!"

"It isn't..."

I cannot adequately describe the sound Erik emitted then, it overwhelmed the crack of the lantern as his booted foot sent it into the nearest wall. We were sent back into the darkness, in our surroundings and our spirits.

"It isn't what?" I heard the crunch of shattered glass under his boots as he stalked closer, at the edge of any sort of control then. "It isn't enough to emasculate me once and leave for your life of happiness in the sunlight with your golden haired prince? What kind of sadist would do that again...even to a monster?"

The deep breath I took was of no use, the damned cellars were still full of nothing but damp and rot. He would rot by staying here, just as I would have by remaining in the de Chagny home. Prisons and death sentences (even those self imposed ones) come in many forms. Was it too late for freedom, for redemption? Before I had another moment, either to contemplate or speak, my wrist was encircled in that iron grasp.

Erik pulled me through the darkness to stand before him once again, I felt the trembling of ill contained fury radiating from him. "Is that your purpose, little Delilah? To make Erik hope, to believe again and again, until you finally decide to completely destroy him?"

"Erik let me explain..."

"What is there to possibly explain? You have succeeded Christine! Now let this spider die!"

"Succeeded?" I gave up trying to remain calm, for although I was willing to shoulder my share of the blame for the things that went wrong, I would be damned if I was going to be accused that everything-present situation included- was my fault entirely.

Consequences be damned...

"You son of a bitch!" My voice certainly didn't have the qualities of a soprano when raised in anger. "Shall we talk of deception and lies... of impostors and fraud? You, yes you!...are the one who chose to masquerade as an angel, as a ghost, as anything but a man!"

"How dare you..."

"How dare I what Erik? Tell the truth? That the story my father told me came true? Except that the angel was jealous, vengeful, murderous? I admit I was wrong for taking your mask that night...but what frightened me was not what was beneath that white leather...but the rage within you! One moment you ask me to trust you...to touch you...I do and I am cursed to burn in hell!"

"You little..."

My anger was so riled now I cut him off. "What Erik? What curse do you care to throw at me now? I am sure you have spared me none since that night, but remember a student is the reflection of the teacher and I can say I have learned from the master!"

"You needed little training in the area of deceit, but you always were wanting to be entertained. I hope you have enjoyed the evening's amusement." Erik threw my hand away from him as he turned in the darkness.

"I find the truth to be far from amusing Erik, but it is all I have."

"Indeed? Then forget the truth and go back to your world of light and aristocrats."

"I cannot. It is not my world any longer."

"And you expect sympathy? Is that why you venture here? Poor Erik is fool enough to help until someone better comes along. I hate to tell you my dear, but patrons returning to the Opera Populaire seems a distant prospect."

The darkness was the only thing that stopped my fists from trying to make contact with him. Instead I clenched my jaw to the point of near pain before countering, "I do not give a damn about any patrons or about this tomb you have chosen to crawl into and die."

My anxious steps closed the short distance between us, but I refrained from touching him, hoping instead that he would meet me halfway and turn around. I should not have had my expectations so high. I spoke to his back instead.

"You're a stubborn bastard Erik and a bigger fool than I if you think that my purpose in coming back was to humiliate, torture, or pity you." I was sure that the pounding of my heart was audible to him, I certainly was aware of every pulse point in my body, the cadence hammering as I prepared to admit all.

"Maybe it is I who play the role of the fool. What sane woman would have such a man be the one to consume her thoughts? One who takes away all her sense, and makes her wish for it to never return, one who pushes and demands more than she believed she had to give. The truth is that you, not your face, frightened me. Overnight I went from having a demanding, invisible tutor to a flesh and blood man who made me feel and want things I had never imagined. I make no excuses for my mistakes Erik, but that night I chose to stay, I would have stayed with you, and certainly not out of pity. You sent me away..."

"You returned the ring..."

"You had already told me to leave...'

"And I am telling you again...leave Christine."

Again... those words...but this time there was no mob pressing doom upon us, no one's life hanging in the immediate balance and still...the same words. Perhaps the ghosts were wrong...love cannot conquer everything...not for one who has never understood what love meant. Perhaps the closest thing he understood was his passion for music, and at least I might channel that into a proper goodbye.

"Erik...I love you." My voice cracked as it echoed his last words to me from that fateful night.

It was then that I turned, not blindly towards the tunnel that would lead to the surface, but with intent purpose towards the bitter waters of the lake. There was nothing else to be said, I had revealed all, hoped, and lost. It was a simple decision after that, for having been allowed a glimpse of the future I had learned one other very important lesson.

A life without Erik was not a life that I wished to live.

The first icy rush swirled around my calves as I stepped in eagerly, my shoes and stockings instantly saturated. The prickle of numbing flesh occurred more quickly than I had thought it would, a blessing perhaps. Another step, then another...and the sloping bank fell off and the weight of my dress easily helped to pull me under. The water was as black as it was cold, and I smiled. I did not fight, there was no reason left to do so, and this seemed to be a fairly painless way to go. I released the air in my lungs as easily as I gave up my will. Almost done...