Scene: Fumiko is semi-unconscious now because the spider that bit her in the last chapter happened to be about the Naruto-verse equivalent of a Brazilian wandering spider. Kakuzu and Hidan stepped in to make sure she was still there and realized, shoot, she's not breathing right, and wtf (in the words of Hidan) is that big red bump on her leg?
Usually, one would be worried.
But nah.
Because poison.
...
"Those kinds of spiders aren't even native in this area."
"Well fuck that, Sasori. Idiot."
"..."
"... no need to glare or anything, you know. Creepy stoned..."
"I'm injecting an antivenom now. Kisame, why didn't you inform anyone that she'd been bitten?"
"Because I didn't know she got bit by the stupid thing! She was yelling her head off not to kill it; how was I supposed to know?"
"Has anyone seen Tobi, un?"
"Ah- you're right. Someone go make sure he's not convulsing somewhere."
"Uh?"
"Oh, she's waking up."
"Wait, but she's not tied up anymore!"
"Kisame, she's not running anywhere on that leg. Fumiko- Fumiko. Can you see me at all?"
"Sugar... happened..."
"You got bit by a damn spider."
"Hidan? Ow. My leg hurts."
"Kakuzu, stitch the wound up, would you? The heat of the blade should have cauterized it, but infection is still a danger."
"Why do we care?"
"Because we still need her alive and not slowly dying from blood poisoning."
"Fine."
"Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Shut up."
"Ow."
"..."
"..."
"Are those coming out of your skin?"
"..."
"It's cool."
"..."
"My head hurts."
"I would hope so, you almost fucking died."
"Huh. I've never been bitten by a spider before. But I have almost died..."
"Eh, un?"
"My friend's dad used to try to kill us with assassins."
"... Your friend's dad is different."
"Yeah. Oh, but he's dead now."
"Dumbass, she's talking about the jinchuriki's dad. The Fourth Kazekage."
"Did you know Rasa?"
"Uh... no."
"Oh."
"Can we leave now?"
"Can you sew?"
"What?"
"Can you sew? Like, clothes?"
"Oh, that's rich. Yeah, old man, can you sew?"
"Shut up, Hidan."
"I can't. I always stab myself with the needle. I can do other stuff, though. You don't need a needle, do you? Ow. My head still hurts..."
"Done."
"Should we tie her hands again?"
"Could she even get out of here if she tried? The boulder has a seal on it."
"... Good point, un."
"Fumiko, can you see alright?"
"Yep. Hey, wait. I just realized your hair's red!"
"She should be fine now."
"It's the same as Gaara's hair!"
"Jashin-sama, she talks a lot. Loudly."
"Um! So I won't die, right?"
"Probably not."
"Okay."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"What happened to the spider?"
"Last time I saw the thing it was on Tobi's leg."
"Kisame didn't kill it?"
"Kisame didn't care."
"Ne... did the spider bite Tobi?"
"Did anybody look for him?"
"No."
"No."
"No, un."
"I don't care."
*sigh.*
"I suppose it doesn't really matter if he dies-"
"AHH! TOBI'S LEG IS HUGE!"
"Found him."
"How does he keep disappearing, anyway? I never hear the entrance Unseal."
"It HURTS!"
"I don't really care, but I swear to Jashin-sama, if he's pussing all over my shit I'll kill him myself."
...
UGH. In the school library. Had some free time from studying for exams.
I am SO SUPER GROUNDED JEEZUS.
Technically this is Meeting Kakuzu. There will be a few other clips with him, but none of them fit in this one so!