Yes, I'm still alive :-)

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8 - Worries

The first thing he realized was a scent, a scent he would recognize in any state he was in. The smell of Joss Carter's hair was something which made him feel happy and as safe as he could possibly be.

He tried to open his eyes but felt so week it became an almost impossible. Only the thought of Joss kept him from getting asleep again. John wanted to check if she was really with him or if it's been just a dream of his own desire.

Slowly his eyes began to flutter and he thankfully realized someone lightened two candles instead of turning on the ceiling light, so his eyes were saved. As he tried to move his head his whole body ached and protested, which reminded him roughly of the earlier events. Still, the pain wasn't as worse as he expected it to be. He remembered taking some pills, Shaw must've mixed some painkillers between them. Otherwise he would have rejected them anyway. The thought of not being able to control his own mind scared him more then everything else.

But he was glad at least for now of the fact he took them, even if it's been unintended. It made it possible for him to move at least as much to get Joss in sight.

She was laying with her head on a pillow next to him. Close enough for him to catch her smell but with enough distance not to touch his injured shoulder by accident. Her hair was laid across the fabric of the couch and she was sleeping deeply. The rhythmic breathing calmed him down and except for a small cut on her forehead she seemed fine which eased him even more.

John felt warm and realized the sweat on his body before but thought it would be because of the pain of his injuries, but the heat radiated from the wound at his shoulder. That's something he experienced before and it hasn't been pleasant. An infected wound would otherwise explain why he was so weak after the accident.

Joss chose just this moment to start stirring and her eyes began to flutter. John smiled at her, he enjoyed watching her fight the sleep. Her big brown eyes were looking at him sleepily now, blinked a few times and grew big.

"John! You're awake! How do you feel?" She sat up and reached for her head after she moved. "Ow."

"Maybe I should rather ask you. How are you?" He asked her with a raspy voice, immediately missing the proximity. A frown of worry appeared on his forehead. Shaw should've given her some painkillers to ease the pain.

"Nothing that a little rest and a tylenol won't fix." She slid her hand carefully above his forehead. "You still feel hot."

His lips curled in a smile. "Thank you for the compliment, Detective."

Joss sighed and chose to ignore his comment. "What I meant is: You still got fever. How long did we sleep anyway?"

"Two hours" Both of them were startled by the sudden voice behind them. Shaw turned on the light and walked around the couch with two plates of pizza on them. She placed both of them onto the table in front of the couch. "I got us some food warmed up. The frozen pizza seemed to be a good choice."

"That's great, I feel like I didn't eat anything for days." Joss smiled and tried to sit up, immediately regretting it and holding her head.

"And I got you some painkillers." Sam hold out her hand with two pills on it.

Joss gratefully took them and swallowed them with some water. Shaw must've put the glasses on the table while both of them were asleep.

In the meantime John closed his eyes already and was just before falling asleep again. "John, come on, you need to eat and drink something." Joss gently stroked over his cheek. "Don't wanna…" John's voice was slurred and he sounded like a little kid which made her smile. Joss took a slice of the pizza and waved it in front of him. One of his eyes opened up and focused at the pizza.

He sighed. John knew he should eat something to provide some energy to his body. So he took a bite of the piece Joss held out in front of him.

Like this the three of them ate everything - Shaw a whole pizza while Joss and John shared the other one. After they were done the two women put away the dishes.

Joss and Shaw chose to continue their talk in the kitchen, so John could rest on the couch. "Okay, now spill. What happened to you? I saw the result of your little car crash on the street but I wondered how they found you after you shook them off back in the city."

Obviously Finch told her about the recent events, Joss thought. "I don't know exactly, but John suspected them to be tracing our mobile phone signals. But this would mean they somehow got access to the database of the providers."

"So, either they got a hacker on their team or … Did you have problems with any authorities lately?" Shaw raised an eyebrow at her.

"No, not that I'm aware of." Joss responded sincerely. "But who would be so powerful to hire a complete team of professionals to get me killed?"

"I don't know, the last information I got from Finch is that he got a lead on someone called 'Mike Stone'. Does this name ring any bells?"

"No, I don't remember this name from any case. How did he get it?"

"Seems like he linked it to the car which followed you. However, I'll have to call him to update him about your condition." Shaw shrugged and dialed Finch's number on her phone. She put him on speaker so Carter could listen as well.

"Miss Shaw! Why didn't you call me earlier? What happened?"

Both women could hear the deep worry in his voice. Although he didn't show emotions very often, he really cared for his friends. "Finch, it's good to hear you, too. Stay calm, the two of them found their way to the cabin by themselves. They're okay for now but Reese might need a surgery when we get back. I hope you got a good fake identity for hospital."

They could hear him gasp. "What happened?"

Joss answered first. "Harold, they probably traced us with our cell signals. John was shot during the attack in front of my house. He lost a lot of blood during the drive and in the end they rammed us so our car flipped over which wasn't helping his condition any further. Next to another wound and a few broken ribs his gunshot wound got infected, but Shaw already treated his injuries. Could you find out anything about the men who were after us?"

"It's good to hear your voice, Detective. I'm not sure yet, I've put Detective Fusco on a lead and currently wait for more information. But based on the instruments they used to find you I would assume I'm not completely wrong. Have you been in any complications with other agencies lately? Maybe work related?"

The women looked at each other. "Shaw said the same thing, but I'm not aware of any agency which would want to kill me, at least not since Mark Snow's and Agent Donnelly's death."

"Well, your partner is currently searching through the system of the police department and will also use his other connections to hopefully gather useful information. In the meantime you have to be careful. Miss Shaw, is Mr. Reese safe for transport? Even the immediate attackers are no longer a threat to you, there probably will be others to take over the job."

"He's currently asleep and I don't want to wake him up, he needs every rest he can get to fight the infection amongst his other injuries. But we'll be out of here as soon as possible." Shaw assured him.

"Please call me as soon as anything about his condition changes or if you need anything."

"We will, please give us an update if you know who's after me." Joss replied. "Thank you, Finch."

"Thank you, Detective, for taking care of John. Oh, one more thing: We found another alias of the man behind the attacks: Michael Sanders. I couldn't find anything about this name as well but maybe you know something about him."

"I'm sorry Finch, I don't know this name either. I'll talk to John about it as soon as he wakes up."

"Please be careful, all of you." With those last words the call was disconnected.

"Sam, shouldn't the medicine you gave John show any signs of success by now? He still feels pretty hot." Joss was still worried about him and couldn't fight the urge to ask Shaw about his condition because she would answer her truthfully.

"It's a good sign he woke up this early, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. The fever will go down but he still needs a lot of rest." Shaw explained. "I'm going to take a walk around the house to check if it's still quiet out there. You can put a cool cloth on Reese's forehead if you want. It will help to bring down the fever more quickly so we can get out of here soon." With those words she grabbed her gear and disappeared through the door.

Joss acted on Shaw's advice and sat down on the couch after putting a cooling cloth on John's forehead. Her own headache got better with the help of the painkillers, so she started to think about all the things that happened this day.

John saved her life, again. And he got hurt in process, again.

She had to admit, if he hadn't thrown himself over her she wouldn't have noticed the attacker sneaking up to them. Joss knew it's John daily business, protecting people. But she did notice the deep worry in his eyes after the accident. She, of all people, should know how suddenly a life could be over. So why should she let angsts and other unimportant things get between her and what she wanted most. Everyone should deserve a happy life and being loved by someone.

She could hardly think of any other man who would be able to have the same effect on her as John Reese. It's not just his good looks - which wasn't a bad thing either of course - but also his whole attitude. He could make her laugh and be happy but also angry and annoyed but yet she would still love him.

She suddenly sat straight. Love him? She thought about all those times they spoke or got near to each other. Every single time she worried sick about him, laughed with him and got mad at him for not playing by the rules her heart beat faster than usual. Her body admitted something a long time ago but her brain was still denying it, at least until now.

With a near-death experience just a few hours ago and the worry about his health she finally let her heart decide. Yes, she's been loving him for a very long time now. It might not have been love on first sight, but a slowly, steadily growing love that was now strong enough to break through the surface of their friendship.

While she was lost in thought John stirred in the sleep and opened his eyes. His grown, as the light was too bright for his eyes, startled her and she quickly turned the light off.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. You're awake again." She softly greeted him.

He must've decided to keep his eyes closed because he answered without opening them. "Hey there yourself. What did I miss?"

"Just a deeply worried Finch. But I think I could calm him down a little bit. He still wants us to get out of here as soon as possible. Regarding the fever you have, I think it's best if we can get you to a hospital in near future."

"What? No, I don't need a hospital. A hot shower, some rest and I'll be as good as new. Besides, the threat still remains and I won't leave you alone with that." He stated firmly.

"John, I really appreciate your worry about me, but can you even move your arm again?"

"Yes."

"I meant the left one."

"Doesn't care, I can still use a gun with the right one." He finally opened his eyes and turned so he looked right at her. His blue eyes were full of determination, worry for her and something else she never thought she would see on him. Fear. Joss realized two very important things this moment.

John Reese was scared about loosing her which meant he really felt something for her.

"Okay, since I can't change your mind about this I won't put you straight into hospital." She leaned herself closer to him so their faces were only a few inches apart. "But as soon as the danger is over you will go to hospital whether you want or not. Even if this means I have to drag you into surgery myself."

His face visibly relaxed and his beautiful eyes became the sparkle she loved so much as a smile played upon his lips. "You wanna be my nurse?"

John surely didn't expect her next words as she played along. "I'd love to take care of you, John. I promise you wouldn't regret it." He watched her biting her lips and realized her eyes wandered down to his own lips.

"Joss…" was this really his voice? It sounded too raspy for him to recognize it. Usually he was the one who flirted, so this was new to him.

Her smell and the proximity was too much, he couldn't resist her anymore. He overcame the short distance between them and their lips finally met. Gently and careful at the beginning but soon their kiss became more passionate until the point where both of them needed oxygen.

"You can't even imagine how long I've been wanting to do this." John managed to use his good arm and caressed her face with his hand. Both of them were staring into each others eyes. He knew he was grinning like a stupid, lovesick teenage boy but couldn't suppress it.

"Oh, I think we're pretty even on this." Joss replied with a big smile plastered on her face.

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