Author's note: Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. You guys rock! So since the last chapter was kind of angsty, I did one that had a little humor. I tried guys! Not sure if I succeeded or not, but I tried. Let me know what you think! And if you want to suggest something than feel free. I decided not to use OCs except for the one that I created in another story. So, no romantic OCs please.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I do not own Night at the Museum and never will.

Napoleon was in a mood. Not a good mood, a bad mood.

The last time he'd been in a bad mood was a few weeks ago when that idiot night guard (a.k.a Larry) gave him a copy of Les Miserables. However tonight, he was not angry about idiotic books. No, tonight, someone had stolen his hat.

He observed his hatless head in the mirror, almost ready to start screaming at the next person he saw. He had no idea as to whom, or why, anyone would want to steal his hat, but he had to get to the bottom of it. With his head held high, he strode through the halls of the Museum of Natural History, ignoring the looks of confusion and amusement from the other displays.

The first person he sought out was Capone. The monochromatic man wasn't especially hard to find, considering he was usually in the same place with his fellow gang members, so the second he saw him, he began seething. "Give it back! Maintenant!"

Capone only set down his cards from the game he was playing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa there short stack, what's the rush? Wait, there's something different about you?" he narrowed his eyes, feigning to be confused. "Where's your hat?"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!"

Capone only shook his head, eyes returning to his game. "'Fraid I haven't seen it, Nippy," he ignored the Frenchman's angry red face. "And I didn't take it either. Why would I take it if I have no use for it?"

He stared at the man incredulously. "Last week you took my dagger and used it to pin one of my soldier's to the wall!"

"Well he deserved. The sap wasn't leaving me and my boys alone."

Napoleon sighed, dismayed that he would now have to search all over the Museum. He stormed out of the room, ignoring the chuckles from the mobsters and went over to Ivan's area. The Russian Tsar appeared to be drinking tea out of a fancy porcelain cup which Larry probably didn't know he was using and drank it like some Wiseman. "What can I do for you, Little Nippy?" he asked calmly.

"It's Napoleon, not Nippy!" he ground out, knowing deep inside the name would never drop. "I have a question to ask you."

"If it is about your hat, I have not seen it," the Tsar took another sip of tea, his pinky extended out like the damn British. "But you look good without it on. It makes you look younger."

"I need my hat!" he cried, wanting to kick the man. "It makes me taller!"

"Not really."

"What?"

Ivan shrugged. "If anything it makes your head look wider," the Russian smiled a little. "And Mr. Italian said it made you look smaller."

That asshole. Napoleon just sighed in irritation, knowing he would get nowhere with this man. "Merci pour votre temps," he said, knowing the man did not know what he just said. He turned to his soldier, noting how they looked rather bored. "Venez! Nous attendons d'aillerus!"

His soldiers only sighed, but stood to attention none the less. He led them out of the room and into where Lewis and Clarke were, the two of them spying on the world outside the Museum, gazing longingly at Central Park. "One day, Lewis," Clarke began. "One day Larry will let us venture outside."

"Yes, one day."

Napoleon cleared his throat, getting their attention. He gave the most polite smile he could muster. "Excuse me, Messieurs," he began. "But have you seen my hat?"

Clarke shook his head. "No," he answered truthfully. "But you should ask the little monkey. He has a habit of taking things that don't belong to him."

"Like Larry's keys!" Lewis quipped in.

"And his flashlight."

"And our map."

"What?"

Lewis looked down at his satchel, frowning. "Oh man, not again!"

Napoleon only watched the two men argue, both of them now livid. He sighed, motioning for his men to follow him through the museum. He doubted that Rexy had it; for what would a giant t-rex need with a hat? The Puritans that roamed the halls of the museum definitely wouldn't have taken it either. He didn't even think of asking the miniatures because there was no way they would be able to take his hat. He didn't even bother to ask Attila and his men because he knew he would get an answer in Hun.

When he eventually found Dexter, he offered the creature the sweetest smile he had ever conceived. "Ah, mon cher ami," he almost wanted to wretch from how sweet he sounded. "I have a little problem. You see, I can't seem to find my hat."

Dexter gave a little cooing noise, standing up a little taller, tilting his head as if he knew something. Napoleon took this as a good sign. "Do you know where my hat is?" he asked. "If you do, I would like to know where it is."

Dexter only screeched again, like he was saying yes. Napoleon grinned. "Do you have it? Because if you do, I would most certainly like it back, se il vous plaît."

The only thing he received was a slap in the face. That, for him, was the final straw.

"You little!" he snarled, wrapping his hands around the evil monkey. "GIVE ME MY HAT!"

"NAPOLEON!"

Dexter gave a little cry of joy, easily sliding out of his hands and onto Teddy's shoulder. The President glared at him, not at all pleased. "Were you going to choke him?" he inquired sharply. "Were you?"

Napoleon was at a loss for words. "He took my hat!" he sputtered. "And he slapped me!"

"Nonsense! You're beginning to sound like Laurence!" he turned to Dexter, smiling kindly. "My good friend, do you have his hat?"

Dexter shook his head before leaping onto Sacagawea's shoulder. The Native woman petted him gently, turning to him with wise eyes. "Mr. Bonaparte," she began calmly, dark eyes glimmering in the candle light. "Perhaps you left it at your exhibit set?"

"I've looked there," he moaned. "And I still cannot find it. I woke up with it on and then something knocked me out!"

He received another slap in the face from the President. "Pull yourself together!" Teddy lectured sternly. "The sun will rise soon and I do not wish for Laurence to get in trouble for an exhibit not being together."

He nodded, marching away from the three exhibits and grumbled more things in incoherent French. He went back to his exhibit, telling the soldiers to leave him alone so he could take out his frustrations without them seeing. He sat down, letting the cold wall relax his flushed body. He could feel tiredness tug at him and he closed his eyes, telling himself not to fall asleep.

Needless to say, he fell asleep.

By the time Al Capone walked into the French exhibit room, it was fifteen minutes till sunrise. Most exhibits were making their way to their stations, but not him. He had some important business to take care of.

"Hey Nippy," he called out. "Nippy, where are you?"

He patted his suit, noticing a fuzz ball had gathered on the material. He brushed it off, still looking for the French General. "Nippy," he called out again. "Nippy!"

He spotted the General against the wall, head leaning against the pillar nearby. He gave a light snore, chest heaving up and down evenly as he slept. Capone had to crack a smile at that, wishing he had a camera to catch this. "I found this," he began, placing the hat on his lap. "Turns out the miniatures had it. How they knocked you out, I have no idea. Or better yet, why they wanted your hat, I have no idea."

He gave the General a quick pat on the face, waltzing out of the room quickly as he heard the French soldiers coming back.

"Général!"

Napoleon jumped, feeling one of his soldier's pat him on the shoulder, gently shaking him. He quickly stood up, the sound of something dropping to the floor echoing in his ear. Looking down, he grinned triumphantly as his hat lay precariously on the ground.

"Mon chapeau!" he exclaimed, holding the object high up. "Mon doux, beau chapeau!"

He kissed his hat once, placing the object on his head. "Men," he began in a proud tone. "You have done your Emperor well. For that, you get the whole rest of the week to yourselves."

"But we-" one soldier began, only to get elbowed in the stomach by another.

They assumed position at their stations, the sun rising only a minute later. As people walked into the museum that day, many people noticed the abnormally proud look on Napoleon's face.

And the extremely amused one on Al Capone's.

Let me know what you think guys! Blood Thirsty Angle is off to bed! Ugh, I don't want to go to school tomorrow :(

On a side note: Why I made Nippy get mad over Les Miserables might be explained in another oneshot, but for now, let's just say Larry thought all French people liked the book.

Translations used:

Maintenant- French for now

Merci pour votre temps- French for Thank you for your time

Venez! Nous attendons d'aillerus-French for come! we look elsewhere

Messieur- French for sirs

Mon cher ami- French for my dear friend

Se il vous plait- French for please

Mon chapeau- French for my hat

Mon doux, beau chapeau- French for my dear, sweet hat