Chapter 8: Really Love – D'Angelo
'When you call my name,
When you love me gently,
When you're walking near me,
Doo doo wah, I'm in really love with you.
I'm in really love with you.
When you look at me,
I open up instantly.
I fall in love so quickly.
Doo doo wah, I'm in really love with you.
Doo doo wah, I'm in really love with you.
I'm in really love with you.
All night beside you, I'd lay.
I love you deep when you come to my bed.
Doo doo wah, I'm in really love with you.
Ooh wah, I'm in really love with you.'
"You're so stupid," Amy says, grumbling under her breath and side-eying you as you walk to your seats.
"Why?"
"We're going on this thing and you're scared of heights. You should've just said something and I'd have stayed with you. You don't need to impress Danny, y'know?"
"I'm not trying to impress Danny," you say, frowning. "I knew you'd stay with me but you love this ride." You shrug. "So here I am."
"This is still stupid. You'll spend the whole time digging your nails into my arm with your eyes closed." You pinch her arm.
"Hey, what was that for?" she says, rubbing her sore spot.
"I might surprise you this time, princess."
"Mhmm."
"You ready ladies?" the guy says, smiling at you both.
"Yup." You pull Amy down into the seat next to you and try to take deep breathes, telling yourself that you've done this before, you can do it again. For Amy, you'll do it again. You can't let Reagan be in a bad mood with Amy for nothing. You saw the eye roll when Amy offered to sit with you but chose to ignore it, instead focusing on the stunning smile Danny had on her face. They'd both gone ahead of you and you hope Danny has a nice time with Reagan.
"Sure you want to do this, Sunshine?"
"Yup." You clutch onto the bar in front of you with both hands and force your eyes to stay open.
"It's just a ride. Be brave, Karms."
"Right, be brave, got it." Amy laughs and places a hand over yours.
"C'mon, we can do it. We can do anything together, right? Keep those pretty eyes open and take in the sights." You relax and something in your shifts, softens at her words. You turn to look at her. You don't realise how long you've been starting at her until she shifts and blushes.
"You're staring."
"Sorry." You carry on taking her in.
"Stop."
"I can't. Got to keep these eyes open." You stick your tongue out at her and wink. She's never liked all the attention being on her but you can't help it. She deserves to be looked at, admired, appreciated, looked after. You've tried your best to do that but it's only now that you're learning, it's only now that you begin to see what she needs from you.
"Karma, stop."
You begin to look around. The place looks amazing from above, the lights shining in the dark, the rides, the games. It all looks so amazing, even if it does look high up.
You move your hand and intertwine your fingers with Amy's, drawing strength from her.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yup."
"You okay?"
"Yup."
"You gonna say anything other than 'yep'?"
"Yep." You pull a silly face at her and she laughs. It feels just like before but at the same time it doesn't. It's been so long since being together was just so easy, so natural. You guess that that's what secrets do, make everything feel wrong, like a lie but right now, nothing matters. You're with your best friend, your soul mate and you're conquering your fear. "I'm the best, aren't I? See, I'm up here where it's super high." You swallow down your fear. "All so you don't have to sit down there with me." She rolls her eyes and scoffs.
"You're stupid."
"No. I'm the best"
"No. I am."
"Yeah, you are. So, how're you?"
"I'm…okay? Why?" You shrug.
"Nobody ever seems to ask you that. I just assume you're good so I thought I'd ask." You shrug again.
"Okay."
"And besides, it must be hard to be surrounded by this much sexy. Me, Reagan and Danny." You shake your head and suck in a breath. "Must be hard work."
"You're so annoying."
"Bet you regret me knowing you so well, now."
"Nope, I'll never regret that but you're still an idiot." You laugh lightly, cuddle into her side and rest your head on her shoulder.
"Are you having a good time?"
"Yeah. I have my two favourite girls here with me and Danny's pretty cool."
"She's nice, isn't she?"
"Yeah. So, you, er, you like her?"
"Mhmm. I like her but not like that, y'know?"
"Yeah." You both sit in silence for the rest of the ride, soaking in the presence of each other before you have to separate again.
"Have fun?" Danny asks as you get off. She holds a hand out for you to take a step down and you smile brightly at her.
"Yup. Sorry I couldn't go on with you. I just have a small fear of heights." Amy scoffs and you elbow her, lightly in the side.
"Hey, what was that for?"
"Stupid" Reagan looks at you both, curiously and you shrug at her. If she wants to be with Amy, she has to understand that this is how you are together. You were like this before you fell in love with her and you'll be like it 'til the day you die.
"Anyways, let's go get some donuts before we leave." You link arms with Danny and walk ahead of the not-so-happy couple, scowling at each other behind you.
"So, how long have you and Amy known each other?"
"Eleven years, now."
"Wow. That's a long time but it explains a lot." You frown.
"Huh?"
"You're just really close. Like you just know each other. I don't know." She shrugs. "You just seem to get each other when nobody else has any idea what's going on."
"We know each other inside out."
"That's cool. Friendships like that, they're rare."
"Yeah. Amy's special."
"So, you're scared of heights, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Aw, don't be shy, it's cute," she says as you burrow your head into her arm for a moment. "So, why'd you go on it, then?"
"You really wanted to go on and Amy loves it too so I kinda had to, y'know? Didn't want to leave one of you behind."
"I get ya and Reagan doesn't like you much, does she?"
"No. How was the ride with her?"
"It was cool. She's pretty cool."
"That's good."
"So why don't you two get along? You both care about Amy a lot…so?" You turn around and catch sigh of Amy and Reagan holding hands and talking behind you. That's what you want for Amy, an easy, affectionate relationship and that's what she has.
"I'll, er, I'll explain later. How about we get some donuts and head out, let the two lovers have some alone time?"
"Sure, sounds great." You smile and squeeze her arm.
"I really have had a good night. Sorry I didn't get to spend much of it with you."
"It's okay, Cutie. I had a blast. That burger was divine." She moans and you can help the laughter that comes from you. She's so easy to be with and have fun with. Even if all you can be is friends, you know she'll be good for you. "And you're pretty fun to be around." She winks at you and you blush a little and look away. She laughs and it's nice. It doesn't compare to being with Amy but it's nice.
"So how long have you been in love with her?" You freeze. You'd been enjoying each other's company, sitting on the hood of Danny's car and eating donuts whilst asking about each other's favourite things and then she asked that.
You take a few minutes to formulate a response. How does she know? Is it that obvious? Do you tell her the truth?
"I don't know who you're talking about," you whisper without realising it.
"You don't know?" She raises an eyebrow at you and you shrug and look down, pulling apart the donut in your hand. "Amy."
"Oh. I'm, er, I'm no—"
"Ashcroft, you're a bad liar." You sigh.
"It just-it just happened. I mean, one day I realised it but I don't know if my feelings have ever changed, y'know?"
"I get it. Like you've always felt like this but never known?"
"Yeah."
"So why aren't you together?"
"I didn't realise soon enough?"
"Huh?"
"It doesn't matter. She's with Reagan now and I'm trying to move on."
"Why move on? I think she feels the same?"
"It's not that simple and besides, don't you want me?" you say, trying to lighten the mood.
"I like you Karma. Like, I really like you but I'm not blind." She shrugs. "We could try dating, I guess but I think we're better as friends, don't you? At least until you get over Amy." She winks and you roll your eyes. How are you so lucky? How do you find all these kind and caring people to surround yourself with, people who understand you? You wrap an arm around her waist and snuggle in close.
"I really wish I didn't feel like this, y'know? I think you'd be a great girlfriend." She laughs.
"Damn right I'd be a good girlfriend. I'd fuck you and feed you all the time, what more could you want?"
"Charming."
"That I am." You laugh. You really wish you could like this girl but at least you have her friendship.
"No, seriously, Karma. I think-I think if you guys really love each other, you'll find a way to be together and if not, you'll have an awesome friendship. That's lucky." She rests her head on yours and you breathe in the soft, honey smell of her.
"You think?"
"I know."
"How's that?"
"Typical cliché. Me and my best friend, we thought we were in love with each other but it didn't work out. We didn't give up on our friendship, though and now she's with an amazing girl and I'm playing the field a little. But we're happy for each other. I wouldn't want it any other way because I am in love with her, I'm in love with her as my best friend and that's all. But you two? You two are the real deal, I think and it's kinda nice to see, even if she's macking on my girl."
"Macking on me?" you ask in confusion as she laughs.
"You both don't realise it but it's there, the affection, the connection. That's probably why Reagan doesn't like you."
"Not exactly."
"Hmm?"
"Well, we faked being girlfriends before they met and that's when Amy told me she loved me. I, er, I didn't realise that I felt the same until afterwards, until Amy had moved on with Reagan. So, I think that's why she doesn't like me."
"Maybe a little but I think most of it is because she's jealous. You know Amy better." She shrugs and you move your head a little to accommodate the movement. "You're a better fit."
"I don't think so. Reagan is good, she takes care of Amy and she's more…mature than me or something. I-I'm just not right for Amy." Danny scoffs.
"You're an idiot."
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"No, you really are. Love isn't about being perfect, it's about having that connection and knowing each other."
"Maybe."
"Mhmm. I am right, like always."
"Like always? Excuse me? Who thought 'Without You' was originally Mariah Carey's song?"
"Well, I didn't want to show you up with my perfectness."
"So you purposefully answered wrong, just to make me feel better?"
"You were losing the game up until then. I had to be a good little date." You laugh and she joins you. It make your stomach ache a little but you like the feeling, you like being around Danny…even if she does know more music trivia than you.
It's a few days later when your mom drops a bomb on you.
You're leaving for a couple weeks. Your aunt is sick, like really sick and she has two children that you have to help your mother look after.
You don't want to leave, of course you don't. Days without Amy are hard enough, let alone weeks but you don't want to let your family down and so you concede after your mother explains that yes, your school knows and no, it's Hester, of course they don't mind.
That's how you find yourself at Amy's door on Wednesday night, speaking to the she-devil herself.
"What do you want?" Lauren asks, sneer in place.
"I just need to see Amy, quickly."
"Amy, your other lover is here," she shouts up before storming off. You blush.
"Karma, dear. It's nice to see you. It's been so long."
"It's good to see you, too," you say, leaning in to hug Amy's mother who's walked over to greet you.
"Hey, Karms." Amy says, jumping down the last step, Reagan just behind her.
"I'll see you later, Sweetie. Don't be a stranger." Farrah squeezes your hand before she walks off, waving in your direction.
You smile.
Things have been rough between you and Farrah, not least because of your part in helping Amy discover her sexuality but you're glad things are settling down. She's been like a second mother to you in many ways and though she annoys you, though she makes you angry when she hurts Amy, you love her in your own way.
"Bye."
"So, what're you doing here?" Amy asks.
"I, er, I've got to go away with my mom for a while. Aunt Patty is sick and yeah, I need to go help mom with the kids and stuff." You shrug. "Thought I'd drop in and say bye. We're leaving tomorrow so, yeah. Anyways, I'll go now. Hey, Reagan. It's nice to see you." She nods her head and smiles.
"I hope your aunt gets better soon," she says and you smile, sincerely in response.
Amy shuffles her feet and wraps her arms around herself as she looks down. You know she'd be sad but you still hate to see it.
"Hey, idiot." You tap her elbow. "I'll be back before you know it and hey, you'll have Reagan to bug when I'm not here."
"Hey, I don't bug you…that much." You smile.
"And we can FaceTime so I can still see all your new Yo-Yo tricks." You wink and Reagan chuckles.
"Red knows you well."
"Yeah, she does. I'm gonna miss you, Karms."
"I'll miss you, too but it won't be for long."
"Okay."
"Anyways, I better go home and pack."
"Okay, just wait here a minute." She runs off and once again, you find yourself standing alone with Reagan.
"Are you sure you don't wanna join us for a while? I mean, you're leaving for a few weeks and Amy will miss you."
"No, it's okay. We have an early morning flight so I better pack."
"Okay, have a safe journey."
"Thank you."
"I'll see you around, Red." She walks off.
It's not long before Amy is back in front of you and you're glad Reagan has let you say goodbye in private. You'd feel uncomfortable hugging Amy in front of her. You've seen how jealous she can get and rightfully so. If Amy was yours, you'd want to keep her all to yourself.
"Here." Amy thrusts her iPod in front of you and you frown at her. She rolls her eyes. "I know how much you hate flying, remember the trip to New York we went on together? Anyways, I know you like to drown out your fears with my music so here, take this. Do you have your iPod with you?"
"Yup." You nod your head and pull it out from your pocket. "Here."
"Thanks." She walks forward and wraps her arms around you. You breathe in the scent of her and pull her a little bit closer.
"I really will miss you."
"I know. I'm gonna miss you, too, princess."
"I know." She kisses your forehead before resting her head on yours for a few moments.
"You better go before it gets late. Text me when you're home, okay? Love you." She kisses you one last time before stepping back.
"Love you, too, Aims."
"And don't forget to text me as soon as you land." You roll your eyes.
"Of course, your majesty."
"That's right. Now off with you." She slaps your butt and you walk off, laughing.
God, you love her.
End of Part I
A/N:
I'm already working on the next chapter so you shouldn't have to wait too long for it. I'm excited to begin posting/complete writing part II of this story. There'll be some changes and hopefully some unexpected surprises.
Thank you for reading and sticking with me. I hope you're enjoying this story and I'm not letting you down.
I've also re-read some previous chapters and my gosh, how on earth you guys stuck with me through some awful grammar/punctuation typos, I don't know but thank you. I'll be rectifying those, soon.
Thank you, thank you, thank you (I can't say it enough).
Let me know what you want to happen/what you think might happen/if you're enjoying this so far. I read every review and I enjoy every review (even the one criticising something, they're often enlightening).
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