Chapter 13: Superstar – Usher

'Spotlights, big stage, fifty thousand fans screamin' in a rage.

Bodyguards and limousines, this is the way I see you in my dreams.

Paparazzi flash, hundred pictures all of you hangin' on my bedroom wall.

I'm a kid again, I feel like thirteen. What I mean, since we fell in love, girl I'll be...

I'll be your groupie, baby, 'cause you are my superstar.

I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph, sign it right here on my heart.

Girl, I'll be your groupie, baby, 'cause you are my superstar.

And as your number one fan, I'll do all that I can to show you how super you are.'

You wake up and feel someone watching you.

"Wake up, sleepyhead. I made your favourite." You smile as you hear Amy's husky morning voice whisper in your ear. You stretch out as much as you can and sigh in contentment.

"Hi."

"Hi…How're you feeling? Sore? I've got your medication here but you need to eat something, first." You roll your eyes.

"I know, Aims." You notice the plate in her hands and grin. Pancakes, your favourite. "Yum."

"Here." She cuts the pancakes up, puts some on a fork and reaches over to feed you. You don't hesitate to take a bite and moan.

"Mmm, so good."

"Aren't I always?" She winks at you. You feel a blush rising and will it to go away. She giggles at you. Today feels different, lighter, easier than you remember living being for a while. You sigh as she lifts the fork again and take another delicious bite, maple syrup landing sweetly on your tongue.

"You should make these for me, every day."

"Maybe I will." You roll your eyes.

"Mhmm."

"Hey, Karms?" You hum in response, digging back into your breakfast and wondering why Amy hasn't stolen any yet. "You know…You know—" You stop eating and look at her. You know when she starts stuttering and mumbling that it's serious. "You know I haven't changed my mind about last night, about us, right?" You swallow and put the plate down, giving her all of your attention.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she says, playing with her hands and looking down. You lift her chin up and look at her, eye to eye.

"But are you a hundred percent sure? I just, I don't want you to make a mistake, to be unhappy." She frowns and grabs one of your hands, holding it between hers.

"How could this be a mistake? You're who I want."

"But are you sure?" You swallow down. "How do you know?"

"Do you want me?"

"Of course I do."

"How do you know?"

"Because I just-I just do."

"And so do I."

"But it's different for me—"

"How?" You sigh and look down.

"I'm single, I don't have this amazing girl who I could be with…you're the best, most amazing person in my life and I love you more than anything and anyone."

"And you are—"

"No. Reagan is better than me." Amy sighs and squeezes your hand to get your attention. "She is. She's more thoughtful, more patient, more beautiful. Why me, Amy? Why me?" you plead with her.

"Because."

"Because?" you say, after Amy's silence.

"Reagan is-Reagan is beautiful, kind, sweet, loving…she's perfect really." You swallow the ever growing lump in your throat and repeatedly tell yourself not to cry. "She's-She's amazing but she's just not you. That's how I know, Karma. I know because I had this perfect girl and she still wasn't enough. All I want is to be enough, to be your Princess, your fairy tale ending, that's all I want. Don't you?" You shake your head and wipe away the tears that have started to fall.

"No." Amy frowns and looks away, a steady stream of tears running down her face. "No, I don't want a fairy tale, not anymore. I want real. I want arguments and fights and make ups so that we know we're both so passionate about each other.

"I want you to give me the last of your food and be grumpy because food is your second love but I'm your first. And when you pout so much that I can't take it, I'll give you it back.

"I want to wake you up at 4am because I just need to see your eyes and hear your voice, even though you're grumpy and hard to wake up.

"I don't want fairy tales anymore, Aims. I just want us."

She's crying, you're crying but you don't care because you're both smiling and looking at each other like the love sick teenagers you are. For once, you could find the right words, for once, she knows exactly how you feel.

"You…you mean it?"

"Every word." She jumps on the bed, your hand still wrapped in hers. She brings it to her cheek at you watch as your fingers caress her skin. She runs her thumb over the back of your palm and you sigh in relief.

For once, you've both said all you need too instead of keeping everything buried inside. For once the gulf between you is bridged by an ocean of words that you can swim in.

"But I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"I need you to talk to Reagan. She-She doesn't deserve it ending like this. It's not fair." You look down for a minute before looking in her eyes again. "We messed up, not her."

"I-I know. I just-I don't know what to say, how to make it right."

"Maybe you can't, Aims but you need to give her something."

"I know." She sighs and looks down.

You grab her face with both hands and force her to look at you. You smile and wipe away a few stray tears before leaning in.

"It's okay. Just talk to her and then come home to me," you whisper against her lips before pulling back. She pouts.

"No fair, shorty." You narrow your eyes at her as she grabs your arms and starts to lean over.

"You're mean." You stick your lower lip out and look at her from under your eye lashes. She smirks and it turns into a smile. She leans closer…and closer until finally her forehead rests against yours.

"Can I kiss you and make it better?" she whispers.

You nod your head.

And so she does.

She leans in and presses her soft, soft lips to yours. Warmth spreads through you and you cradle her face before one hand dips down to her neck, thumb stroking Amy's jaw and the other one tangles itself in her blonde hair. You moan and you know you've never been kissed like this before. Never has it been so soft, so gentle and so hard and passionate. You could never explain how it feels to anyone else.

Amy wraps her arms around your waist, sitting at your side, trying to avoid hurting your leg.

Goosebumps run along your skin and you shiver. She pulls back, resting her forehead on yours once again as you both take a breath, chests heaving. She laughs gently and you join her.

"Woah," you say.

"I know. That was-wow." You smirk, she blushes. "Again?" You nod your head and lean in, meeting her half way this time as you get lost in each other.

"Amy-Oh God, that's disgusting, get a room," Lauren says, barging into the room and quickly covering her eyes. You catch a glimpse of that as you pull back from Amy, blushing with a giggle lodged in your throat.

"We had one until you walked in," Amy grumbles.

"Well how was I supposed to know you two idiots finally stopped lying to yourselves?" Amy rolls her eyes and the giggle you were suppressing escapes. Lauren narrows her eyes at you, Amy just turns around and smiles, throwing a wink your way before facing the dragon lady again.

"Anyway, what do you want?"

"I'm giving you a ride to school, remember? Some of us don't want to be late."

"I'm not going in today."

"What?" you and Lauren say, simultaneously. Amy looks between you both a couple of times, frown in place.

"I'm staying with Karma today, in case she needs me." Lauren rolls her eyes before huffing and slamming the door behind her.

"Idiots."

"Why aren't you going in?" She turns to face you, reaching for your arm that's lying on the bed and playing with your fingers. She shrugs.

"I just-I want to be with you."

"I know but you've missed so much already."

"One more day won't hurt. And I-I thought I could…maybe I could talk to Reagan and get that out of the way and then I could-I could come home…to you and you can…make it better?" She blushes as she mumbles out the last of her words and you smile at her, your heart melting.

"I'll always be here and it might not be so bad."

"But it will. I'll have to tell her the truth and it-it will hurt her and I don't want to do that. And I just want to be with you. Today, I just want you. Is that-is that okay?" You carry on smiling at her, entwining your fingers with hers.

"Sounds perfect. How does movies and chocolate sound?"

"Perfect. Almost as perfect as you," she says, leaning over and kissing you quickly on the lips. "But first I have to go see Reagan, right?"

"Right." You watch her pace the room, trying to find her phone and jacket. She mumbles to herself.

You don't want her to leave, you don't want to let her do something that will hurt her but you know Amy needs to this, not just for Reagan. She needs to get closure, end things for good so you can start afresh, no pressure, no secrets, nothing but the two of you and the connection you share.

You keep telling yourself this as you will your hands not to shake, as you try to stop yourself from begging her to stay.

What if Reagan takes her from you? What if Amy sees what she's missing if she stays with you?

You watch her as she walks around the room before looking up to the stars you helped her put on her ceiling when you were just kids. You smile. Maybe you are enough for her, maybe you're the brightest star in Amy's galaxy, even though there are stars like Reagan and Danny than are shining bright.

You look back at Amy as she holds up her jacket, showing you her side profile. You admire the curve of her spine, the shade of her skin, the smell of her. She's perfect and she's choosing you. You wish your leg wasn't broken so you could jump up and dance and sing and just go crazy with all this energy you have inside of you.

"I won't be long, okay, Karms?" she says, facing you and tucking her phone into her pocket. "Call me if you need anything and don't have a shower alone," she says, pointing her finger at you. You smirk and wink.

"Sure I won't, hot stuff." She blushes.

"That's not what I meant." You laugh.

"Gimme kiss goodbye." She walks over, standing in front of you and kissing you once more. Your skin tingles, like it feels too big and too small but in a good way. You never want to stop kissing her, never want her to leave you. She kisses you again…and again before pulling back with a sigh.

"I don't want to go."

"I know but you have to, love." She smiles, her eyes lighten and she squeezes you tight.

"I'll be back soon," she says, giving you another quick kiss before she leaves the room. You sigh and lay back down.

She's perfect.

"Hey, Karma," Caitlyn says through the phone. You wonder why she's calling and you're still slightly annoyed about what happened back in your hospital room but you try to forget it, especially today when you're so happy.

"Hey."

"How're you, Sweetums?"

"Good. You?"

"I'm great. Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing." She sighs.

"Karma, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"There clearly is."

"I just-what was with that little stunt at the hospital?" She sighs again.

"I'm sorry about that, Sweetie Pie. I just wanted to see how Amy felt. Y'know, make sure she deserved you and all that."

"And how did you saying we're in a relationship do that?"

"Because it's clear she cares, she wants you. You were the only one saying you weren't in a relationship. Amy never did. You know why? Because she wants to be."

"But that wasn't fair."

"Maybe it wasn't but life's not fair."

"Caitlyn—"

"Look, I'm sorry for upsetting you but I had my reasons. I was just looking out for you."

"I know and I appreciate that but you can't just…attack people like that. And it-it hurt telling you over and over again how we weren't together."

"Aw, Sugar Muffin. I didn't mean it too, I promise. I'm just a big idiot who cares too much and does stupid things but I didn't mean to make you sad."

"I know. I know you didn't but Cait, no more ambushing, right?"

"Right."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now K-dog, tell me whatcha doing?"

"Laying in Amy's bed and talking to you."

"That's boring." You laugh.

"What're you doing?"

"Waiting for Ol to get out of school for lunch." You smile.

"How is he?"

"He's good. We could come round later or something?"

"Yeah, that sounds—" Amy's door swings open and you spot your soul mate walking in, tears in her eyes and sobbing. "I need to go, Cait. We'll talk later."

"Everything okay, Karma? Want us to come over?"

"I need to go. I'll text you. Bye." You don't give her a change to respond before you end the call.

You throw the covers off of you, swing your legs over the edge of the bed and begin to stand. Amy walks over, stopping you before she drops to her knees and wraps her arms around your waist, sobbing into your stomach. You run your fingers through her hair and rest your head on top of hers.

"I'm sorry, Karma. I'm so, so sorry." You frown and pull her closer, squeezing your eyes tight to keep the tears in.

There's only one reason she should be sorry.

You feel the emotional pain become physical as your leg and your arm begin to throb and you force the tears down even harder. Amy needs you to be strong right now and you will do that, for her you will.

"It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay, I promise. We're soul mates, we can get through anything," you whisper, your voice breaking on the last word.

This is it. She's chosen Reagan over you but you meant what you said, you can get over it, for her you can. You'll never leave her, even if your heart will be broken for the rest of your life, you'll never leave her. That's what you tell her, over and over again as she sobs into your shirt and you rock her back and forth, trying to comfort her.

"I-I'm—"

"Hey, no more. You don't need to be sorry." Again you find yourself cradling her face in your hands and forcing her to look at you. You wipe away the tears and brush some of her hair behind her ears. "You don't need to be sorry, Amy. But please, just talk to me." You want to know what's wrong, how can you fix this for her.

Maybe you should leave, give her and Reagan some space.

"I didn't mean to hurt everyone. I didn't. I just wanted to try and get over-get over you but I didn't know I was hurting so many people. I promise I didn't."

"Hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay. None of this is your fault. It's on me, okay?" Your heart breaks even more. Look at what you've done to the love of your life, look how much pain you've caused.

"No. No. I shouldn't have been with Reagan, not when I wasn't over you. That was…God that was so selfish of me."

"No—"

"It was, Karma," she shouts. "Not everything is your fault, even if-even if I say it was. It just wasn't." She pulls away and sits beside you. "I didn't mean to break anyone's heart."

"I know you didn't." You reach for her hand and hold it. "We all make mistakes but there's nothing we can do to change anything now but I promise." You pull her hand up and kiss the back of it. "I promise, no matter what happens, I'll always be here. I'll always be your best friend, Amy. Forever." She turns to smile at you.

"Promise?"

"Promise." You swallow down the tears, the heartbreak and close your eyes for a few seconds. "And if-if you want me to leave so that you and Reagan can—"

"Reagan?"

"Yeah, your girlfriend." She frowns and stands up, pacing the room.

"Reagan isn't my girlfriend. I thought you were." You gasp and look at her, tilting your head.

"I thought-I thought that was why you were sorry."

"No. No, no, no, no, no. I was sorry for hurting you like I did, for keeping things from you and not ending things with Reagan sooner," she says, falling to her knees in front of you. You sigh in relief, every muscle in you relaxing.

"Okay."

"So we're, we're still okay? You're still my girlfriend?" Her hands are on your knees and her eyes look so big, so open and honest as she begs you with her voice.

You take a few seconds to think, to push away the pain and sadness, the overwhelming happiness. Every conflicting, confusing emotion gets pushed away for just a few seconds so you can think, so you can breathe.

"Amy Raudenfeld," you say in a stern voice. "I do not recall you ever asking me to be your girlfriend." You wink and she smiles, wiping away some tears with her wrist and sniffling.

"Well, Karma Cutie-Pie Ashford." She clears her throat and composes herself. "Will you please, please, please be my girlfriend?" She brings her hands together in a prayer position and looks you in the eyes.

You smile.

"Of course I will, idiot."

She jumps up, wrapping you in her arms and kissing you. You taste the saltiness of her tears, the heartbreak and happiness inside of her and don't let go, not until oxygen is needed and you both begin to calm down.

"So…"

"So?"

"Donut?" You quirk an eyebrow and nudge your head towards the box of donuts sitting on the side that you asked Farrah to get when she came in to check on you, earlier.

Amy smiles wider than you've ever seen her do before and wraps you in a hug, kissing your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your chin, your mouth.

"Perfect."

"That I am, Raudenfeld." She kisses you again before digging in to her favourite donuts.

A/N: This was originally going to be the last chapter but I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this little story yet and there are a couple of lose ends that need to be tied. I might write an epilogue, I might write another chapter, I might do both of those things.

Let me know what you think, guys. I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter-this story so far.

- A