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"Evening, Lieutenant." Shepard says, entering the cockpit.
Joker jumps at the break in silence.
"I didn't mean to startle you. Mind if I sit here?"
"Co-pilot's seat is all yours, Commander." Joker says. "What's up?"
"I just left the mess hall." Shepard says. "You know dinnertime is nearly over."
"Is it?" Joker asks.
"I never saw you down there." Shepard says.
"Good eye. That's because I wasn't down there."
Shepard ponders a moment. "Not much to see at this velocity. Why don't you set her in autopilot? Take a break and get something to eat."
Joker shook his head. "No way, Commander. I can't just leave my baby alone."
"You know there's a relief pilot, if that's the concern."
"Yeah, he can't fly half as well as I can."
"Undoubtedly. All the more reason to make sure our 'superior' pilot has the respite he needs. We don't need your fancy maneuvering skills during routine transit."
"Thanks." Joker says. "Always an honor to be recognized for what I am."
Shepard smiles. "Great. He's standing by. I'll just…"
Joker turns quickly to catch Shepard as she starts to leave. "Don't, Commander. Let me put it this way: It's a pain in the ass just to get up to take a piss. I don't leave the cockpit often and don't care to."
Shepard eyes him, studying him. "Lieutenant." Her voice betrays her frustration. "You're Alliance. You're in uniform. You're obligation is to just say 'yes, ma'am,' salute, and obey."
"Like your pet Alenko?" Joker scoffs. "Did you cut your dinner date short to come gripe at me for not being like him?"
"Alenko?" Shepard asks, clearly derailed.
"Oh, don't lie." Joker says. "Everyone knows."
Shepard delays in responding. "You're getting off topic, lieutenant. Let me put it this way- I'm not going to allow my headstrong pilot let his pride endanger our mission. Now go get some dinner and rest at least a few hours before I officially pull rank."
Joker groans with frustration and sighs. "Whatever, Commander. Have it your way." He reaches under the control panel to pull out two crutches of antiquated design. He hides them well, symbols of his infirmity. Shepard seems to have been unaware of their presence. Joker places them under his arms and with difficulty raises himself out of the seat. When he reaches a standing position, Joker gives Shepard a death glare from under his visor. His blood boils. He hates seeing the look on her face at seeing his state of being. He hobbles off without looking back.