Chapter 7:

Kaoru

She had never felt smaller than she did standing under the castle walls after so long an absence. She had always thought intimidation and self-doubt were faults only human women succumbed to. But there she was. The hundred years of dormancy had hollowed her out. Though she was physically unchanged, she felt the strength had gone from her bones and her aura withered.

Dirty and weak, she thought back to the first time she'd ever stood in front of these walls. She had just come into maturity and wore it well. Her father had brought her to the West from their home in the North for a very special occasion. The Lord of the West's son was of marriageable age and her father had it in mind that the West and North might unite in alliance with the marriage of their children.

At the time, she was indifferent to this plan. It didn't matter to her much who she married—or was married off to. Part of her duty to her family was to serve in marriage and motherhood to whoever suited their needs, though she had greater plans than just that. But when she reached the castle, only to find that a dozen other clans had brought daughters of their own to compete for the union, she found herself intrigued. Was this man so powerful as to inspire this much competition? Since she was a young child she had been revered as the most beautiful creature in Japan. Of course, this was a distinction she both enjoyed and hated for she was also powerful and courageous. Though if she was so beautiful and well-bred, she doubted she would have much trouble gaining the acceptance for any marriage. But seeing all the beautiful demoness lined up to enter the castle, she wondered if her beauty and connections would be enough.

When the crowd funneled into the grand banquet room in the castle, Kaoru gazed around in amazement at the extravagance of the décor. The tables were bespectacled with food of every taste from the national to the exotic. Even the servants were dressed in sparkling perfection. The people in the hall mingled with each other, waiting for the hosts to arrive. Kaoru, however, was not feeling talkative. Instead, she stood near her party and stared at the grand doors through which the Lord and his son would come.

Soon the doors did open and in strode one great demon, alone. It was Inu no Taisho, Lord of the West, the most powerful demon in the land. Seeing him, Kaoru was impressed. If his son was anything like him, it would be the greatest honor to marry him.

For a while Inu no Taisho wandered around the hall, greeting old friends. He was more congenial than she would have expected. When he made it to where her party stood, he stopped and bellowed, "Old friend!" Her father, she was surprised to see, responded in kind and merrily greeted the great Lord. They turned to speak to one another and continued for many minutes before her father gestured over to where she stood. Inu no Taisho brightened and her father motioned her forward.

"Lord Inu no Taisho, may I present my only daughter Kaoru."

Taking her hand, Inu no Taisho nodded and replied, "It is good to meet you, though it is not the first time. Perhaps you don't remember, but I knew you first when you were a small one."

Kaoru smiled politely. Of course she didn't remember. "I could never forget," she replied.

"My," he continued, "You are every bit as beautiful as anything I've ever seen. If this occasion weren't for my son, I'd be contented to marry you myself."

She thought that would be ideal. "And where is your son," she instead asked.

Inu no Taisho darkened. "Don't worry about him."

She nodded and supposed it didn't matter. Any offspring of a demon as great as Inu no Taisho had to be worthy.

Soon her father and the Lord were speaking again, much to the dismay of the other groups in the room. Feeling isolated, Kaoru excused herself and began wandering the great hall. Though she had no assurance, she felt she would be spending her years in the lovely place. She made her way out of the hall with little notice and down to the gardens. The evening hue cast purples and pinks on the vast green of the flora which went on for as long as she could imagine. She continued walking until she came to a natural lake on the property and sat on a large stone overlooking the water.

She gazed down at herself in the reflection and pulsed with her foot. From the corner of her eye there was a flash and in the water's mirror appeared another figure. She looked up, hiding the start, to find a young man with silver hair and gold eyes looking over her.

"You don't belong here," he said coolly.

Stiffing she replied, "It's possible."

The demon perked and eye brow and said, "Aren't you afraid of me? Don't you know whose garden this is?"

"From your taunting, I would assume it's your father's."

The demon in turn stiffened. "Who are you?"

"I am Kaoru. I am of the North."

He nodded with resign. "I'm to marry you."

She nearly blushed. "They've already decided that?"

"They decided it when you were born."

"You don't sound so enthused."

"I do not."

"Why," she asked quietly, remembering that their presumed arrangement was something neither of them had a say in.

"I do not care who I am to wed. It does not concern me."

"On the contrary, it concerns you more than anyone else."

He sat on the next stone over. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since their conversation had started. She didn't know whether to be flattered or unnerved. He continued, "It's curious that you, of all, would argue the point."

"How so?"

"You're to marry me and gain power for yourself and your family. I'd think you wouldn't want to raise such contrary thoughts."

Kaoru shrugged. "If not you then I'll marry another. I do not trifle myself with such insignificant things as who I'll marry."

"Then what do you trifle with," he asked.

She paused. "I am more than my face and I will not be deemed less for it."

He nodded. "Then you think you'll actually have a role in the governing over the land you marry into?"

"I guarantee it."

He smiled lightly. "What did you say your name was?"

"I suppose we'll be introduced formally later. Why not wait?"

He nodded and said, "Maybe you will be of some use to me."

She shrugged. "Or maybe the other way around."

Shaking off the memory, Kaoru realized her position. She was once confident and strong. Surely the years of humiliation done to her had stained her. Sesshomaru would be able to see that and he wouldn't want her. Though she needed to know and she'd escaped just to learn if he'd still have her, so she made her way around the castle to the gardens. From the most beautiful lawn she climbed a tall tree. There she gazed into a balcony that was attached the room that had been her own so long ago. Finding it empty, she hurtled the distance from the tree into the balcony. Once inside, she was startled by how perfectly her room had been maintained. It gave her hope, seeing her old things just as they had been. The purple and lilac hues of the room engulfed her. Even her old smells had remained. Her vanity was still just as she'd left it, with jewelry scattered around. She gazed at herself in the mirror with some shock. It had been nearly a hundred years since she'd seen her own face. There had been no mirror in her room with Kitsune and it was strange to see it again. She felt as though her face were not her own, just a memory.

She moved on to the armoire and opened it. Inside, her old clothes hung, so old now they were falling apart, saddening her. She was surprised to see a new Kimono hung in their company as well. It was beautiful and new, in a style she did not recognize. Holding it to her body, she gazed in the mirror and realized how dirty and tired she looked. Setting the Kimono aside, she wandered into her bathing room and filled the tub. Removing her own tired Kimono, she sank into the tub where she stayed until the water went cold. Once clean, she crawled from the bathing room, suddenly more tired than she'd ever been before and into her bed. As she fell asleep, she laughed at how ironic it was that she could be tired after a hundred years asleep.