Chapter Fourteen: Wound Up

Regina never would have thought it possible, but she was actually looking forward to therapy. She had so much to say – about Karen, about Janis, even about her most recent bus dream - and hardly any idea of where to start. Usually, lacking a plan would have made her terribly nervous – at least these days, anyway - but somehow, she only felt happy and excited as she waited for Heather to appear.

"Regina!" said Heather, sounding surprised, but pleased. "Good to see you again. C'mon in!"

After they exchanged the usual boring "how-are-you's," Heather leaned back in her chair and looked at Regina intently. "So, what do you want to talk about today?" she asked.

"I had a really cool dream last night," Regina blurted out. Okay, sure, she thought. Maybe this was a decent enough place to start. She and Gretchen had already discussed Karen/Janis pretty much ad nauseum, anyway. And besides, weren't the bus dreams one of the biggest reasons she was in therapy anyway? "I think it might totally be some kind of a breakthrough," she added. "I don't know, though. You tell me. You're the expert here."

"Ooh, cool," said Heather, picking up her mug of tea. "Breakthroughs are always good."

Regina nodded. "It's so funny, really. It was kind of a bus dream, but also kind of…not. I was at my parents' house and I asked my mom what we were having for dinner and she was like 'bus' like it was most obvious thing in the world."

Heather wrinkled her nose and snorted. "Bus? For dinner?"

Regina nodded.

"Okay, cool," said Heather. "Go on."

"Yeah, so 'bus' looked like sliced deli ham with gas station nacho cheese, but it actually tasted like…like…" She thought for a moment, trying to remember the distinct flavor. "Like spaghetti? No, not quite spaghetti. More like Spaghetti O's, actually. Total ick, really. And then we also had tater tots and chocolate milk in those little cartons. Like in elementary school, you know? And we were all eating them off of cafeteria trays."

Heather raised an eyebrow. She was clearly game and seemed slightly amused, but obviously had no idea of where this was going. "Um, alright," she said slowly. "And then?"

"Okay," said Regina. "So, then I drank the chocolate milk, but it didn't taste like chocolate milk at all. It tasted more like salt water or…maybe kind of more like pool water? Anyway," she went on, "whatever. It didn't taste like chocolate milk. But then for some reason, in the dream, I was really, really, really allergic to chocolate milk."

"Not in real life though?" asked Heather.

"Chh, of course not," Regina said. "Who's allergic to chocolate milk? Is that even a thing? But anyway, I drank my whole carton in two gulps because…well, I don't know, dreams. And I guess I didn't remember I was allergic and obviously my parents didn't either. And then I just started sneezing like fifty times in a row ALL over the 'bus' and then I fainted."

They were quiet for a moment. "And then what?"

"Then nothing," said Regina. "That was it." Actually, there had been a part after dinner where she had watched a video of the "AHCHOO" song from Sesame Street online, but Regina didn't really see any reason for Heather to know about this.

Heather knitted her eye brows together. "And this was a good dream?" she asked skeptically.

Regina nodded assuredly.

Heather took off her glasses and wiped them on her shirt, which Regina noted, was eerily similar to Ms. Norbury's behavior when she was nervous or at a loss for words. "I'm sorry," Heather said. "I mean, I'm obviously not a dream interpreter or anything, but how is that good?"

Regina smiled. She had actually been hoping Heather would ask this. "Because, don't you get it? The bus was there but it wasn't the problem!"

It was almost like a cartoon lightbulb materialized over Heather's head. "Ahhh," she said. "You weren't scared of eating the bus?"

Regina shook her head. "Not really," she said. "But, like, the bus is usually dangerous and scary and powerful but this time…this time it didn't even LOOK like a bus. It was just this kind of lame, inoffensive thing. And this time, well, this time, I was eating it."

"So, YOU had power over it," Heather added.

"Well, yeah!" Regina said.

"Huh," said Heather, sounding impressed. "So it WAS a good dream. Damn, you're good at this! Maybe you should be a dream interpreter."

"Oh and also," Regina answered, almost cutting Heather off, "it was really weird because it was almost exactly like this thing that happened in real life right after I got out of the hospital. My first bus panic attack, actually."

Heather nodded, but kept quiet.

"I don't know," Regina said, trying to grasp onto the memory. "I was on some pretty heavy painkillers and my ribs weren't really healed yet and I was pretty much just dizzy and nauseous all the time and it really sucked. And, like, this is so epically retarded, but I asked my dad to make Kraft Macaroni and Cheese because I always loved it growing up, but then, I saw how the color was just EXACTLY like the bus and that was..." she paused and took a breath.

"That was your first flashback," Heather finished. "Wow."

"So do you think this means I won't have nightmares anymore?" Regina asked.

Heather rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Well, probably not," she said. "Everyone has nightmares. I always have ones about being naked during therapy sessions. And you'll probably still have bus-related nightmares, too," she added.

"Oh," said Regina feeling suddenly dejected.

"It's a process," said Heather. "I mean, don't feel like I'm downplaying what you're telling me. That's really awesome. The fact that you had power in it? That's huge. So," she continued. "How's everything else? Waking life, I mean?"

For some reason, Regina actually had to stop and think about how to answer the question. "Actually," she said, "not great, but not that bad either. I mean, I feel like I can handle it."

Heather nodded. "Hey, sometimes that's all we can do," she said.