The events portrayed within this tale predate both anime and manga. Most of it comes from things either portrayed or else strongly implied in manga and / or anime.

Note: I do not own Vash "the Stampede," Rem Saverem, or Millions Knives: they all belong to the incomparable Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

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Trigun: Shipwrecked

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Chapter 5: Home

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September (or the 9th month) of the 81st year after the Great Fall
On this planet, ordinary humans know it as Star Year 0043

It has been two years since Knives and I separated.

I have seen town after town where he had slaughtered every living soul. I found their remains, sliced to bits. I found their food rotting, and their stored water supplies tainted.

The Plants in their bulbs were distressed. I spoke to them of peace and love, but placed no other burden upon them. I suppose that I could have asked them for fresh supplies, but it didn't feel right. I didn't want to use them as the ordinary humans had. I couldn't bring myself to do that to them.

Oh Rem, I'm so sorry! I failed you. Everything I've tried, I have failed...

I still believe that you were right about humans. They deserve a chance to live, and learn from their mistakes. If only I had been smart enough to help Knives to see that, too...

There were no supplies in the last four towns that I passed through. Knives had been there first. In each town, it took me days to bury all of the bodies... I'm still not sure if I sorted out all of the parts correctly, in any of those towns.

That eroded my meager supplies of food and water even more.

I tried, Rem. I really tried...

If you can see me, and you choose to notice me, you must be extremely disappointed in me. How could you not be? I have failed you so badly. Knives was right. I am worthless. I should not have resisted that truth for as long as I did. I should have only focused on telling him where you were right, and not defended myself.

I don't know how you kept patience with me. Even as a child, you must have seen that I was a pathetic loser. Is that why you asked me to take care of Knives? Was that the only thing you thought I might be able to do?

I have failed you, even in that.

Nothing remains for me to do except to keep walking. I used up the last of my food and water days ago. I don't even know if there's another town nearby. All I can see is iles and iles of sand in every direction. There's not even a rock to disturb the monotony.

I'm starting to stumble. I didn't try to kill myself, Rem. I tried to keep my promise to you. When there were no supplies to be found, I ran out. It just happened.

It looks as if I am about to fail you, even in staying alive. I'll never know what it means to be a man, or if I could ever overcome my childhood faults.

I'm so sorry, Rem...

My mouth feels strange. My tongue seems inclined to stick to the roof of my mouth. The edges of my vision are growing dark. A strange, high-pitched whirring sound fills my ears. The ground begins to tip.

I feel myself stumble. I fall onto my face in the sand.

"Rem..." I whisper broken-heartedly. I try to say "I love you," but my mouth is too dry to even whisper the words. Rem...

My fading thoughts are of regret. I couldn't even tell you that I love you one last time.

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I hear something beeping. At first, it was only a very faint and distant sound. Slowly, it seems to be drawing nearer and growing louder.

Little by little, awareness returns. To my surprise, I don't feel sand in my mouth, or against my face. I thought I recalled stumbling and falling on my face, just before everything went dark. My mouth still feels a little strange, but not as much as before.

Slowly, cautiously, I open my eyes.

But no, I must be dreaming now. I cannot possibly be back on the ship - I saw it explode more than half a century ago!

Yet I am lying on a bed with clean sheets. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all metal. There is no scent of the desert sands or winds, but instead a faint chemical scent... antiseptics, I think. The air is filtered, something I've not inhaled since the ships fell. I see hospital equipment, such as was in the ship's infirmary... a technology lost to the shipwrecked people of that barren, two-sunned desert world.

A man walks into the room, and sees that I am awake. He smiles. He is wearing clothing similar to what I saw on the computer, back on the ship where Rem was.

Rem...

"Hello," he says. "We weren't sure if you'd make it. Welcome to Seeds."

Seeds? That was the name of the ships! How can this be?

I open my mouth, and try to speak. No words come out. My mouth is still too dry.

He quickly lifts a small cup from beside my bed, and helps me to drink from it. The cup trickles clean water into my mouth.

The water tastes pure... and seems entirely free of any trace of the desert.

Was the fall of the ships, and all that came after, only a terrible dream? I glance down at myself, and see that I am no longer a young child. I have grown larger, to the size I recall being when I was stumbling on the sands and expecting to die in that endless desert. I glance to my left, and see the now-familiar stump where my left arm used to be.

"Ships crashed," I said hoarsely, "long time ago." My voice has its new, deeper sound.

"Not this one," he said, his smile widening in understandable pride. "It continues to hover over a sea of sand powder. That turbulent sea helps to power our ship's Plants, and keep the sleepers safe in their cryo cylinders. We are still Seeds, and we have survived."

For the first time, in longer than I can tell, a faint glimmer of hope enters my soul.

"Welcome home," he said.

I smile a little, and close my eyes again. For the moment, I am too weak and weary to do much else.

"Thank you," I manage to whisper, as darkness begins to enfold me again.

I know that, when next I awaken, my life shall begin anew.

You were right, Rem. My ticket to the future... it's still blank. The possibilities before me are endless and open.

I've been given another chance.

With a home again, perhaps I can finally find the wisdom and strength to succeed.

If not tomorrow, then perhaps the day after...

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Author's note: I have often heard people wonder why Vash had such low self-esteem. He certainly didn't get it from Rem! However, he spent approximately 80 years in the company of Knives, who didn't have one kind word to say to or about him.

Vash and Knives yell at each other, at Juneora Rock, that neither of them has changed in 150 years.

What was happening there? Knives was liberally insulting both Vash and humanity, and attacking Vash. Just as he was shown doing, in both anime and manga, on the day of the Great Fall. Even with someone as extremely intelligent as an Independent Plant, that much constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse would take a toll.

Methinks the mystery of "where did Vash get his low low self-esteem?" was already answered in canon. We just overlooked it.