This is a songfic with a parody (sort of) of the song Lay All Your Love on Me from Mamma Mia! which I don't own. Some parts are Pepe le Pew parodies; some I made up on my own. Other than that, enjoy.
Ch.4: Lay All Your Love on Me
Inside her castle library, Princess Twilight Sparkle was busy reading an interesting romance story that Illustre brought for her to read. Since it's Hearts and Hooves Day, she decided to let Spike spend some time with Rarity. It would be nice if he has the day off to spend some quality time with the filly of his dreams.
Despite the book she's reading a real page-turner, Twilight couldn't help but think about her earlier discussion with Discord before he left to visit Celestia.
"You know, Twilight," Discord teased Twilight who's got her nose stuck in the book, "you should really consider having a romantic get-together of your own with a fine stallion of your own rather than hanging out in your library for Hearts and Hooves Day. I'm certain a Princess like you must have a lot of suitors by now. Why not invite that handsome Pegasus from the Crystal Empire over for a visit? What did you say his name was? Flash Sentry?" Twilight turned to him with slightly pink cheeks.
"Discord, I don't have a crush on him," she assured him. "He just reminds me of the other Flash Sentry from the human world."
"I don't know~" he replied with a shrug. "I still think you two would make a cute couple when you think about it."
"Since when did you become such a romantic?" Twilight laughed with an arched eyebrow.
"Since I lost that bet with Rarity and had to read every single one of those romance novels in your library." The Alicorn blinked at the reminder.
"Oh…right."
"Anyway, not one for making sense, but just give it a bit of thought, okay?" Discord asked. "As for me, I have to vamoose over to Celestia's place. I'll be sure to say hi to her for ya." And with a snap and a flash, he was gone.
"Hmm…" Twilight said to herself as she set her book down for a bit. "Maybe I should take Discord's advice. It would be nice to get to know this world's Flash Sentry. Who knows; he might be just like Human Flash Sentry." She then took out a parchment and quill and started to write out her letter to Shining Armor and Cadence asking if they can send Flash over so that she can get to know him better.
Just as she was finishing the third line of her letter, a little tune started playing to make her stop and turn to her side table where her lavender iPhone with her Cutie Mark on it was ringing. Illustre asked Discord to make her, Spike, and the girls their own iPhones so she can call or text them whenever she needs to. And each phone is the same color as its owner with her Cutie Mark on it (Spike's is green and flame-patterned, of course). Wondering what's up, Twilight brought her iPhone over to find she just got a message from Illustre. So she then opened it:
"Twi, SOS. Dis got hit w/Love Arrow. Crazy in luv w/Tia. Need antidote ASAP. PLEAZE HURRY!"
Twilight nearly dropped the phone in shock. Discord got hit with Love Arrow and has fallen in love with Celestia. Judging from the text, it can't be good; something must have affected the arrow in a bad way. Quickly, she got up from her pillows and raced out of the library.
"Good thing I've created that antidote arrow in case of an emergency."
Back with Celestia, she has just found herself trapped in the arms of the lovestruck Discord just outside the garden entrance.
"Come now, mon pink swan," he cooed. "Let's be grown up about zis zing; we are powerless to fight it."
"By 'we'," she stated firmly, "you mean 'I' because you took away my magic and my flying." He only kissed her cheek with a chuckle as she squirmed and struggled.
"No need to hide your emo-shions, cherie," he purred. "I know you want to be my blushing bride." Celestia's face went red as she shot him a shocked look and tried to push him back.
"Bride?! Now this is going too far!" And she pushed him away to make another break for it. Discord only chuckled before hopping after her.
"I get a keek out of her," he said to the reader before some singers in far background starting the musical number, Illustre and the Cutie Mark Crusaders chasing after Discord.
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
In Ponyville, the red teenage dragon Garble was on his date with Fluttershy at the café, whispering cute things into her ear that made her giggle and blush to make her more adorable in his eyes. Then Twilight rushed into the scene with a saddle pack on her back and frantically told them what happened. Shocked, the two first-daters rushed off after her to find the others.
As this was going on, Celestia tried to hide in a covered carriage outside her castle. However, Discord appeared beside her, stating how sweet she'd look in a carriage built for two before stealing a kiss from her. She only ran off with him in pursuit as he started singing the song.
I wasn't jealous before we met
Now every stallion I see is a potential threat
Now I'm possessive, it isn't nice
You've heard dragons say that smoking was his only vice
In Ponyville, Twilight's trio ran into Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner. Hearing what's going on, she tossed her plate of pink-heart cupcakes into the air, and each cupcake landed neatly in front of a happily surprised Pony. As Pinkie then ran off with the trio, giggling Pound and Pumpkin Cake held up playing blocks, each showing the number 10 on it.
Simultaneously, Celestia stops beside a building to catch her breath, not knowing that a large, plump, red rose appeared in her mane. Then Discord's head seeped out of its center before planting a kiss on her cheek. In reply, the surprised Celestia knocked the rose off and ran off again. But Discord only came out of the rose with ease and went after her.
But with me, it isn't true
'Cause everything is new
And all you've learned
Has overturned
I beg of you
During the "lover's chase", Illustre and the CMCs chased after them, unknowingly singing the chorus with Discord, said Draconequus taking the lead.
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
In Ponyville, Twilight's group stopped when they reached Applejack, who was selling home-baked Hearts and Hooves Day treats with Big Mac. Twilight told the cow-filly what's going on, and Applejack joined them without hesitation, her brother waving good lucky after her.
Meanwhile, Celestia decided to hide behind a newspaper at café table. But Discord was right next to her with his own paper and dressed like James Bond, asking her suavely if she like's some sugar with her tea. Frightened, Celestia threw her paper at him and ran off. But he simply gave chase once more.
It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little small talk, a smile and bebe, I was stuck
I still don't know what you've done with me
The Master of Chaos should never fall so easily
In Ponyville, Twilight and the others rushed into the Carousel Boutique and explained to Rarity and Spike what's happening. In reply, Rarity fainted into Spike's arms before coming around quickly and rushing out with the others to find Rainbow Dash. Spike rushed out as well, annoyed that something had to come up and ruin his Hearts and Hooves Day with Rarity.
Simultaneously, Celestia tried to loose Discord in a dancing square. Unfortunately, she found herself running into the Draconequus' arms before being pulled into a tango with him. The other dancers just watched with amazement at the sudden couple in their romantic dance.
I feel a kind of fear
When I don't have you near
Unsatisfied
I skip my pride
I beg you, dear
Some pairs joined in the chorus as they tangoed alongside Discord and Celestia. Thinking this is all part of some show, the crowds cheered for them (mostly Discord and Celestia) with zeal. After a tango dip/kiss from Discord, Celestia zipped out of his grasp, and he went after her.
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Don't go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me
In Ponyville, our heroes found Rainbow Dash reclining by the river and reading a Daring Do novel while Tank was munching on his favorite salad and wearing his favorite sunglasses. When Twilight told her about what happened, Rainbow calmly put her book aside before puking behind her reclining chair while Tank ducked into his shell, not wanting to see his owner puke. After Rainbow was okay, she joined her friends in their quest, as did her tortoise.
As this was going on, Celestia stopped and hid in a dark alley to catch her breath before spotting a potted plant before her. Hesitant on what to do with it, she grabbed it and held it above her head at the sound of Discord calling out to her. When he appeared and turned to her, she smashed the pot on his head to knock him to the ground. But he only looked up at her with stars flying around his soil-and-plant-covered head and called her a flirt with a smirk. Shocked that it didn't work, Celestia ran back to her castle, and Discord gave chase once more as the ruined plant burst into a bouquet of colorful flowers, which Illustre caught as she and the CMCs chased after them.
Some had a few little love affairs
They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce
We used to think that we're sensible
It makes the truth even more incomprehensible
Soon, Celestia was trapped in the palace labyrinth with Discord searching for her and Illustre and her little friends trying to catch him. And our heroes meanwhile were hurrying over to Canterlot with a little help from an all-group flying spell Twilight picked up from Discord (she'll thank him when he's back to normal).
'Cause everything is new
And everything is you
And all we've learned
Has overturned
What can we do?
As Celestia and Discord were rushing about in the maze, Illustre and the CMCs unknowingly joined into the chorus once more while trying to find them.
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Don't go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me
As they got close to the capital city, Twilight and the others unknowingly joined in on the chorus as well. No doubt it's all Discord's doing.
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Don't go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me
As the song ended, Celestia soon reached an area within the labyrinth with a pond. Her body begging for rest, breath, and water, she went up to it slowly and drank with relief.
I've finally given Discord the slip, she thought to herself with a smile. It will take him hours to find me in this maze. But when she opened her eyes after finishing her drink, she saw her pursuer's reflection in the water's surface, causing her to shoot her head up and see Discord next to her, dressed like Zorro.
"'Ello, bebe," he purred with a smile. Celestia was left dumbfounded; he did find her through the labyrinth! But her exhaustion was too much for her, so she fainted with a soft moan before Discord caught her with his skunk tail. As she drifted off to slumber, she smiled softly and nuzzled into the coziness of his large, soft tail.
"Oh, zis impetuous one," Discord purred softly before scooping her up into his arms bridal style. "She's so relieved at seeing me again zat she fainted." As he said this, Illustre and the CMCs entered the area and spotted him and Celestia.
"There they are!" Illustre cried. She then ran to catch, but Discord had already vanished in a flash, causing her to crash into a patch of flowers. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
"Illustre, are you okay?" She and the girls looked up to see the Mane Six, Tank, Spike, and Garble flying towards them.
"Twilight!" Illustre cried, hopping to her feet as they alighted before her. "Oh, man! Am I glad to see you; this whole Love Arrow thing is getting crazier by the minute! And not in a good way, mind you."
"What happened?" Twilight asked. "How did the girls' Love Arrow hit Discord?"
"And what the hay's with that tail?" Applejack added.
"I did tell Discord that black looks quite slimming on him," Rarity concurred, "but I think the skunk tail might be overdoing it, even with the white stripe."
"Well, Sweetie Belle and I were excited about giving Discord and Princess Celestia their Hearts and Hooves Day gifts," Babs answered, "so we ran up to them when we found them."
"But then I tripped," Sweetie Belle answered sheepishly, "and the arrow fell out of my grasp and hit Discord by accident. So he's acting just a teeny-tiny bit nutty over Celestia since she's the first thing he saw after getting hit."
"Teeny-tiny?" Scootaloo replied. "After all we've gone through, it was more like humungo-jumbo!"
"Scoot!" Apple Bloom hissed, elbowing her.
"Was it really that bad?" asked Fluttershy.
"I recorded the whole thing on my iPhone," Illustre answered, bringing said phone out. "Take a look on this one part." She then showed them one part of the video in which Discord started acting like Pepe le Pew towards Celestia right after getting hit with the arrow. Seeing Discord like that, Rainbow, Pinkie, Spike, and Garble snorted and snickered before finally loosing it and falling to the ground laughing.
"Oh, my ga-ha-ha! It hurts! It hur-hur-hurts…"
"I…I can't…breathe…"
"Guys, this is serious!" Twilight snapped at the laughing four. "Princess Celestia's in serious trouble with Discord acting like…uh, Illustre, what's the name of that skunk from your world again? And why is Discord acting like him?"
"Pepe le Pew," the artist/writer answered. "As for his acting like that, that was totally my bad. See, before the accident, the arrow fell into a muddy puddle, so we had to wash it off. And I spritzed it with my new Pepe le Pew perfume, in case it might've gotten…ya know, smelly. I think it might've affected the arrow when I did that."
"It sure does sound like it," Twilight replied before turning to her saddle pack and taking out a silver arrow. "But don't you worry. All I have to do is hit Discord with this antidote arrow, and he'll be back to normal."
"Will it cause any side effects?"
"It may cause him to get woozy, but not woozy enough to make him…ya know…"
"Puke? Okay, I'm cool with that. Just one small problem…we don't know where he and Celestia went."
"Don't worry; Discord taught me a location spell a while back. It will help me pinpoint his current location if I need to find him." She then closed her eyes as her horn glowed with its violet aura, and the others waited patiently. After a minute, the horn stopped glowing, and she opened her eyes again.
"He's taken Celestia to her bedroom…and I saw her in a wedding veil."
"Uh-oh," Spike and Garble said simultaneously as Rainbow threw up in her mouth.
"Not good," Illustre replied. "Let's go!" They all then rushed for the castle, leaving Tank behind with the CMCs.