Chapter 2: Push and Pull

Captain Jūshirō Ukitake grabbed Rukia and turned his back against the wall of water that surged when a face appeared above the hollow and Kaien disappeared. The wave was still strong enough to knock both of them to the ground, not to mention discombobulate him for a good minute. Laying on his back for a moment Ukitake caught his breath. He hadn't been feeling well today and this was not going to help matters. Captain Unohana was going to have his hide when he got back and… oh, great, he was missing a sandal. With a squelching pop he unstuck himself from the mud and looked up at the rain that was once again falling freely. Both the monster and his vice-captain were half a kilometer away and growing more distant.

Rukia stood up uneasily, wiped her wet hair from her eyes, and took a couple raspy breaths. "S…Sir, that was…"

She looked terrified. What business did he have bringing her along? She was too young for this and had been through enough for one evening. It was a split second decision, if he couldn't interfere maybe Rukia would. He had hoped…he always hoped because he was the optimistic one. The Captain with the strong smile and the weak everything else. Yes, there came a time when every Shinigami needed to face the absolute truth about how horrible this job could get, but Rukia was so young. So, so young.

Even if he had only caught a glimpse of it before the wall of water did a little more than distract him, there was no denying it. Ukitake nodded. "Yes, that was Miyako. Or rather, it was her face. It would appear that this hollow can produce the form of Shinigami it's eaten. Which explains how it was standing up so well against Kaien and the previous Shinigami sent after it. As I said before, it might also be able to retain knowledge from those it has killed."

"I didn't know such hollow existed"

"They are rare but they do. Now," A quick glance around the glen for his lost sandal proved to be fruitless. "We have to catch up to them."

"Wait."

Ukitake raised an eyebrow at Rukia. He knew that tone, the 'I'm done with this' snap. He couldn't lose her here or he'd lose Kaien for sure. There was still hope, there was still a possibility of getting him to see reason over suicide, but he needed Rukia because as much as he wanted to, he couldn't step in. He couldn't interfere. He made a promise hundreds of years ago and he wasn't going to go break it, not even for his vice-captain and dear friend.

Rukia's hands curled into fists. "Why won't you do anything? Why did you bring me out here to stop him? Isn't that your duty? You are our Captain! You're supposed to lead us and teach us and show us what's right and wrong. Standing there and letting Kaien kill himself isn't right and you know it! What kind of heart do you have that…that you're going to let himself get killed for nothing?"

They didn't have time for this. Every second wasted was a second closer to everything going wrong. Closing his eyes, Ukitake took a breath and tried to ignore his cramping stomach.

"My duty…" is impossible to explain. Is something you aren't old enough to understand yet. "Is to guide and lead you. It is to show you what I think is right and wrong and then to stand back and allow you to make your own opinions. I'm not supposed to paint the world black and white for you. I merely draw the outlines and let you fill in the colors. By doing that, I also cannot take my own ink and repaint what you have done. My duty as your Captain is to give you the opportunity to defend your heart even if I do not fully agree."

Rukia did not look convinced but she nodded and turned to take off into the night. She was definitely going to be mad at him for a long time. That was okay. He could deal with that. They would talk about it once tempers and emotions simmered down and they would get through this.

Assuming this night didn't turn into the ultimate tragedy.

With a small sigh, Captain Ukitake followed Rukia's bubbling reiatsu and the unsuppressed ripples from the fight up ahead at a steady pace until he heard a deep shout followed by a loud pop. He swallowed the growing tension in his stomach and took one last step to cross the distance and skidded to a halt next to Rukia just in time to grab her from running out to his vice-captain.

Kaien had lost. A single tentacle wrapped itself around Kaien's wrist and up into the skin of his arm, his white knuckled fist curled around Nejibana's bladeless hilt. With a grunt, he fell to his knees pulling weakly at the tentacle, but he wasn't trying to get the wriggling limb out of his own skin.

He's pulling the monster closer. Ukitake narrowed his eyes as an explosion erupted in the hollow's face. Good, Kaien could still use kidō. He still had a chance with his skills.

The tentacle in Kaien's arm crept further into his skin, up into his shoulder. Kaien let out a low growl before turning to look at Ukitake and Rukia. The captain barely had time to grab the girl and away from the attack…and he didn't quite make it. Pain shot through his spine as the lighting strike hit his shoulder and he found himself flying through the air before rolling to a painful halt in mud.

Rukia bounced from his arms but was up immediately and in front of him, Zanpakutō out. "Captain, are you okay?"

No. Putting a hand to his mouth, Ukitake tried to swallow the bile in his throat, but despite his best efforts he turned to the side to cough against the cramps in his stomach. Red mixed with mud and rain, staining his white coat and Rukia's sandals.

"Dammit." Ukitake heard Rukia curse, the same word going through his mind. That was new, he had never heard her swear before. She threw her arms out, muttering words too fast to decipher between the surrounding roar of the wind. Her Kidō spell met Kaien's halfway between them and exploded in a brilliant ball of orange and red.

Ukitake scrambled unsteadily to his feet fingering the hilt of his sword; this was a new game now. Kaien was no longer in control of his own mind or his actions. Now it was up to him and Rukia to defend Kaien's honor.

The hollow laughed. "This is my favorite part. I get to use him to kill you."

"That's not going to happen," Ukitake said, drawing his Zanpakutō with a shaking hand.

"I don't think you get it, my dear Captain. He's already mine. No one can get away once I've touched them." The hollow turned Kaien's head.

And Rukia screamed.

Kaien's eyes were black. Dead. Hollow. He was gone, he was dead. The only way to end this was to kill him. The only way to defend his honor was to make sure no one else saw him this way.

This couldn't be happening. She hadn't come all the way out here just to lose. The Captain brought her because he couldn't interfere. It was her job to save him. Hers and she failed.

Rukia's hands doubled their grip around Sode no Shirayuki. Rain pelted her face, mixing with tears. As Kaien's lifeless face turned away, she brought her sword straight up in front of her, turned it's blade to the ground, and whispered,

"Dance."

Emptiness was filled with anger and hate. His eyes wouldn't focus and his body wouldn't move. He couldn't hear anything other than screams of pain and a shrill laugh.

Kaien tried to yell, shout out, cry, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything but float inside his own soul and wait for it to end. Wait for the hollow to devour him completely or for someone to mercifully kill him. He would die here with no honor by one hand or another.

He had failed his Captain, his friends, his squad mates. He failed Miyako and that…that made him want death more than anything else. An end to it all. To his life, his achievements, his failures, and his demise.

He hurt, but shame overwhelmed pain and he wished he could at least shut his eyes against the misty darkness that enveloped him. More screams, more laughter, and a voice called to him. He knew that voice.

"Kaien!"

Miyako. That's right, the hollow had swallowed her…maybe she was here. Maybe he could see her before he died, maybe they could be together for the very end. Who knows what could happen to their souls after the hollow was destroyed.

"Kaien!" Closer now, she was so close. If only he could move, if only he could call back. Where was she? Her voice was all around him. Damn the darkness.

"Kaien Shiba, you idiot."

"Huh?" He could speak! And when did his feet find the ground? "Miyako?"

Kaien took a breath and turned to look over his shoulder and his heart jumped. A soft smile and dark wide eyes met him. She was here! She was really here and…that's a fist!

"Ow!" Kaien rubbed the top of his head; that was a little more than a love tap. "What was that for?!"

"You. Are. An. Idiot." Miyako crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "A big, stupid, single minded idiot!"

"Nice to see you too." Kaien frowned, but he couldn't hold it for long. Miyako was here, in front of him and all he wanted to do was gather her up and never let go. He took a couple steps forward, but she retreated a step for every one he took. "What…what are you doing?"

"You can't come with me, Kaien." She smiled as she shook her head. That airy, soft, knowing smile. She blinked back an obvious glistening of tears and put a hand up before Kaien could protest. "This is not how it's going to end for you."

Like hell! That couldn't be right, why would she say that? She wouldn't say that, not after all they had been through and seen and done. Not after…not after he failed her so completely. It made no sense. They always promised to be together and now they would be even out of life.

The hollow. It had to be the hollow. It was messing with him, playing tricks on his mind it-

"This isn't a trick, Kaien." Miyako laughed at his confusion. She reached out and put a cold hand on his cheek. She ran her thumb under his eyes, tracing the dark circle that shadowed his skin. "Once you're in here the hollow can use your physical form and it can steal our knowledge, but he can't have our minds, and until he fully eats our souls he can't have those either."

Kaien reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it away from his face he cupped it between his fingers. "Then there's hope!"

"For you, yes. I have been here too long and soon it'll be too late for you."

"I don't care! I—"

Miyako yanked her hand from his and drew back a couple steps just out of his reach. Her eyes locked into his and didn't waver. "I didn't marry a selfish blockhead who would throw his life away in a meaningless pursuit. I married a stubborn genius who gave his all for those around him and, even though he didn't want to, he took on great responsibility to protect those who weren't capable of protecting themselves! You, Kaien Shiba, still have a responsibility to those people, to the people that I can no long protect and teach."

Kaien shook his head, he didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to say; he didn't know how he was supposed to take up that responsibility or how to even walk away from this conversation. From her. It would break him to turn away if it hurt him to think about even taking his eyes off of her. How could she ask him to just…go back to the way things were? Sure there was a time in his life when he didn't have Miyako, when he didn't even know her, but the minute they met, the second he saw her his life was revolutionized. Everything before that seemed empty and meaningless and yeah, maybe he did good, but he did better with her.

But this was Miyako in front of him. The strong, capable, brilliant women he fell in love with and he shouldn't be surprised. She was a women who could take care of herself, but instead took care of everyone else around her; including him. Who would he be without her? He might still be a vice-captain, but he wouldn't be the same vice-captain. He wouldn't care as much as he does now. She was able to ignite a spark in him that blazed into the fires that drove him.

She was right. But he still didn't want to leave.

"How?" Kaien asked and holy hell his voice was shaking. "How do…how can I?"

"The same way you do everything else. Put one foot in front of the other."

A brilliant smile burst across Miyako's face and Kaien was pretty sure he was going to cry. Pride be damned he was so confused and hurt and cold.

It was so cold.

"This is your chance." Miyako rushed forward and grabbed his shaking hands and held them palm up in her own. Her fingers weren't cold anymore, in fact they felt warm against his skin.

Ice. Blue crystals cracked and shifted as they grew from a pool in his palms and slowly curled their way up his fingers. Miyako drew her hands away as the ice began to spread faster around his hands and up his wrists, his arms, slowly wrapping around him like glass snakes.

"Rukia."

Kaien looked at his wife who nodded. "Kaien, you have to go."

"N…no." Kaien felt his breath seize in his lungs. Not so soon. Just another minute longer! "How? Miyako? How?" He knew she would know what he was asking. How am I supposed to keep walking like you want me to?

"Kaien, you need to move." Placing her hands on his chest she smiled; a devilish little twist in her mouth that she always got when she was challenging someone to do what they believed to be impossible. "I love you."

Kaien opened his mouth to respond, but the breath rushed from his lungs as she pushed him away and he fell through the air and the black, and when he hit the bottom there was rain and wind and ice.