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When Remus came back, he most often occupied the couch of her office, and Erin didn't mind. He told her he was going to teach Harry a Patronus charm, which excited her and made her feel a little more safe for him. She hated the Dementors looming around the school. Christmas was fast coming, though Erin was going to stay at Hogwarts. This year she had Lupin and Leona, and she was overjoyed with the idea of trying to find them a gift.
She journeyed down to Hogsmead, looking around in the shops for anything she thought Lupin might fancy. After a disappointing visit at the joke shop, she gave up and made a beeline for the book store. She didn't know what books he already had though, and that bothered her.
In the end, she rummaged through her own collection, deciding to give him one of her muggle books to read. She had quickly decided against Dracula, and instead chose The Great Gatsby, one of her favorites. She wrapped it up and gave it to him with a big grin, and he gave her a thin square package she thought was very queer.
It was by far the best Christmas she'd had for awhile. She was delighted to see her present was a Jazz record, and she had put it on for them to listen to in the office.
"I love this song." She murmured, holding her mug to her lips with a contented look on her face.
"The chords are quite soothing, hmm?" Said Remus, looking relaxed for once in a long while.
"Yes." She set down her cup. "Sirius used to dance me to it."
Remus smiled at the way she said 'dance me', as she really wasn't very good at dancing, and Sirius had to do quite a lot to keep his toes intact. "Do you want to dance?"
Erin looked mildly shocked. "Really? Do you want to make sure your feet agree first?"
He chuckled. "I'm sure."
She smiled, letting him pull her to her feet. They danced to the blue tunes, Erin and Remus laughing as they tried hard to do it right.
Eventually, as the song grew darker, softer, and then gone, their dance slowed to a simple sway and Erin's laughter to tears. She sobbed onto her friend's shoulder as he patted her back, whispering softly to her gentle things as the night grew old. Her dance was over, and she could no longer pretend that the man she had been dancing with was her dear Sirius Black.
Presents for the children at Hogwarts were mailed in, and eventually found their way to the house elves. Said elves would then place all the presents under the tree. That's why Erin found her way to the kitchens that night and passed the parcel she intended for her daughter to one on the house elves. She had considered giving it in person, but she didn't want to deprive her daughter of the magic of finding a gift under the tree. She would wait till morning to see what her daughter thought.
When the morning came, she was woken by her daughter jumping onto the bed. "Mom! Did this really belong to dad?"
Erin grinned sleepily, sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes. "Yeah, sweetie." She yawned. "That was his Gryfindor scarf."
Leona grinned. "No way! I'm gonna wear this one all the time! Sooooo cool!"
Erin smiled at her daughter's fluffy bed head. "Honestly, I thought you'd be more excited about the firecrackers."
Leona was fiddling with the ends of her new scarf. "Oh, I like those too, but..." She trailed off. "This was dad's..." She stroked the fabric softly. Erin looked over her daughter's expression. Sighing inwardly, she had made her decision.
"Sweetheart. I want you to go get dressed, and meet me back here, okay?"
Leona nodded. "Sure, but..."
"We'll open my present then, sweetie." Her daughter smiled, jumping off the bed and hurrying towards the door. "And you might want to do it fast."
Leona frowned. "Because when you get back, I'm going to take you to the Three Broomsticks, get you a butterbeer, and tell you a bit about your father."
Leona completely lit up, her grin so big it probably hurt. Her eyes fluttered as she thought about what to say. Eventually she just pushed out a breathless, "Thank you!" and bolted down the hall.
Erin picked out a warm outfit and changed before her daughter came back. When she did, Leona was wearing her heavy black coat, jeans, and her dad's scarf.
"Okay, shall we open my present?"
Leona nodded, fetching it from her mother's small tree.
Erin grabbed it, and smiled, feeling that it was a book. Any book was a good present. Peeling away the paper, Erin revealed a beautiful old edition of The Great Gatsby, gasping at it's leather smell and gold leaf detailing. "Oh, sweetheart! This is beautiful, and perfect!" She flipped it gently in her fingers. "I just gave away my copy, so this is amazing timing."
"Really?" Leona was clearly pleased, grinning easily.
Erin grinned. "Really really." Taking one last look at the book, she placed it carefully on her pillow. "So, ready to head to Hogsmede?"
Leona grinned. "Totally!"
Today lots of students were in Hogsmede, but the crowds didn't stop Erin. She found a quiet table at the back of the Three Broomsticks and got two butterbeers to sip on. Leona sat down across from her, eager, and Erin sighed. "Where to start..."
"How bout a name?" Said Leona, smiling.
Erin returned the smile, sadly. "Anything but that, sweetie. Not yet." Leona pouted slightly, but Erin kept going. "I'll tell you about how he was, though." Leaning back in her chair, Erin closed her eyes.
"Hmmmm...well, I guess to start in the beginning...I met him on the Hogwarts train my first year. He was a nice kid, especially to me when I was worried. I didn't know what to expect, and he was from a magical family." She smiled. "We all talked about which houses we wanted to be in."
"And he was Gryfindor." Leona said.
Erin nodded. "And when I was sorted into Hufflepuff, he told me that we'd all be friends still, even if I was a different house." A dreamy look overcame her features. "Him, and the others, they became as good as my brothers. I loved them all...but him...he was different."
Leona giggled.
"But his entire family hated me. Because I was muggle born."
Her daughter frowned. "No kidding?"
Erin shook her head. "Yup. All Slytherin. S-your father hated the lot of them." The ginger woman sighed. "So, ask away. What do you want to know?" Leona grinned. Best. Present. Ever.
The morning turned into the day, and the day turned into the night. Leona kept asking questions, and Erin said as much as she could without giving away Sirius's identity. But it was nice, finally telling Leona about her father. It was what she deserved. A light had been lit in the young girl, a sort of completeness.
When Leona sensed that the day was coming to a close, she sighed. But then, she looked up sharply. One last question. Erin knew that too. "So, you guys, obviously...you know..."
It was hard to discern which one of them was a darker shade of red. Erin cleared her throat. "Obviously." She said thickly.
Leona rushed on. "Well, I mean, were you ever going to marry him? I mean, did you love him like that?"
Erin thought for a moment, then slowly pulled out the necklace on which her wedding ring hung. Leona gasped. "He proposed, on the night he disappeared. I said yes."
Her dark-haired girl looked closely at the ring for a long moment. "So...I was going to have a father?"
Erin took in a rough breath, and reached across the table to rest her hand atop her daughter's.
After the holidays, everything was back to normal. Gryfindor won their Quidditch match, and nothing went wrong for awhile.
And then there was the second attack.
He had gotten into the Gryfindor dormitories and slashed the curtains around Ron Weasley's bed. The idiotic knight guarding the common room had let him in, just because he'd had the password. Erin hadn't been all that well afterwards, considering just how close he had been to maybe hurting someone.
She was never all that fond of the idea that her Sirius could be a killer, but he was doing nothing now but proving to her that he was. Every painting in the castle was taught to recognize Sirius, and the Gryfindor common room was heavily guarded. Still, something was bothering her about the attack.
"But Remus, you have to admit, it is fishy!" She pleaded to her friend in his office.
"He attacked a Gryfindor student!" Shot back Remus.
Erin just shook her head, throwing her arms up into the air. "But he didn't go for Harry, Remus!"
"Maybe he wanted to save him for last!"
"NO!" Cried Erin viciously, startling her friend with her volume. She shook her head weakly. "I just mean to say, If I was working for...the dark lord, I wouldn't take that chance. I wouldn't want to be punished by him, Remus! I would off Harry and beat it before anyone found me."
Remus clasped his hands behind he back, growing rigid. "He spent twelve years in Askaban, being tormented by Dememtors and...and he might not be in the best mental shape."
"Rubbish. Hypogryff dung, Remus and you know it. Sirius had the strongest mind I think I've ever seen. Don't tell me that he's insane. And you don't have to remind me, Remus, that he's spent twelve years being tortured in Askaban! I think of it every night! If you ask me, no one should be subject to that."
"He killed Lily and James!" Remus yelled, finally showing a bit of anger between the cracks.
"YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT!" Erin bellowed, startling herself with her outburst. "I can't believe that, Remus." She turned away and fled down the hall, not noticing an intent Crookshanks following her retreat with her eyes.
When Erin shut herself up in her room, she let out a breath, moving towards her bed. When she did, however, she froze, letting out a distressed squeak from her throat. On her pillow was a blue rose.
She picked it up with trembling hands, remembering as she closed her eyes tight.
Erin was waiting outside the Great Hall, her hands twisting together nervously. Her hair was put up in a messy bun, the only slightly fancy thing she knew how to do with it, and a string of pearls was draped on her neck. Her dress, long and green, flowed down to her knees, and a white lace shall was wrapped around her shoulders. She didn't think she could wait much longer. She bit her lip as James walked by, winking with Lily Evans on his elbow. Remus and Peter decided not to go to the dance, and Erin would have stayed with them had Sirius not plucked up the courage to ask her.
Suddenly, Sirius came from around the corner, looking handsome and demure like he always did, smiling at her. The poor girl's heart skipped a beat as her cheeks flushed. She noticed some girls give him hungry stares as he passed them, and Erin's gut clenched slightly. Why had he chosen her, out of all the girls he could have taken?
He pulled something from behind his back as her greeted her, and suddenly a blue rose was presented to her. "A rare flower, for a rare girl." He winked.
Erin took it with shaky hands. "Sirius, it's beautiful..."
Seeing her nervous demeanor, he steadied her hands with his, fixing her with a stare that was, for once, free of any light-hearted or joking light. "As are you, Erin. I wouldn't dream of taking anyone else to this dance."
For a moment, she was locked in his gaze. She snapped out of it, blushing softly. "I'm warning you, I can't dance."
He chuckled, kissing her cheek. "Just follow my lead."
Erin didn't realize she was crying until she was snapped out of her reverie by Remus's voice.
"I said, are you all right?" He asked.
"No." Erin replied softly. She held up the blue rose, and Remus's eyes widened as he caught sight of it.
"Erin, is that...?"
"Yes." She murmured weakly. "Still think he's a killer now?"
"That has nothing to do with it, Erin. I never said he didn't love you..."
"Oh Remus..." She sat down on her bed, head in hands. "Why can't anything be easy?"
He sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shaky shoulders. "Nothing's easy. It wouldn't be worth it if it was."
She nodded, knowing it was true, but wishing for all she was worth that things hadn't turned out the way they had. "Don't tell anyone about this, please."
Remus sighed, and then nodded. It couldn't hurt to keep one little secret to themselves.