Chapter 3

As Sam waited for the kettle to boil on the stove top, he paced nervously. Christ it felt like the past twenty four hours had played out more like a week!

His head ached and he was overcome with restlessness, unease and unfathomable questions. As a detective he instinctively sought answers and uncovered key evidence. Motive, opportunity, means, lies, the dankness of human depravity; all of it was what he sifted through to find solutions. Yet right now he was tapped out and rendered like the bluntest of pencils. He kept coming up with nothing.

To top it all Andy was nearly blown to a billion pieces tonight. God when he saw the carnage of the decimated evidence room, his soul shattered, his heart crashed and heavy, hot tears crowded in his eyes.

She had become everything to him, his story, and his life. Damn if she died, then he didn't want to go on living either. He couldn't. Not without her.

Was this the self-same panic, pain and anguish Andy had experienced the night he was shot before her eyes?

Had this day really started with Andy looking ruffled and insecure about Marlo? He had tried to find the words and gestures to make her understand how unwarranted, ridiculous and unfounded her fears were.

She knew he loved her of course; but she was a woman who had once suffered infidelity, and much as she believed in him, that had to have played on her mind just a little.

Honest to God there was no one in his thoughts, heart and head but her, Andy McNally. It had been that way pretty much from the moment their stars collided.

Marlo had been what she had been at the time; a distraction, a crutch, a desperate attempt at forgetting, a symbol, if only to him, that things had normalized in his life. By contrast Andy was his everything! She held his future in the palms of her hand.

Obviously it had been somewhat unnerving to see Marlo yesterday. He had no clue she was transferred to Intelligence. He hadn't seen her since that day in his hospital room. It felt like decades ago really.

FLASHBACK

She had walked in three days after the surgery. He remembered it better as two days after Andy tumbled into his room gorgeously tipsy and nervously giggly.

By contrast, Marlo had entered so quietly and surreptitiously, he hadn't heard or seen her. He was pretty engrossed by that book about Ancient Aztec Civilization.

"Sam," Marlo's voice was wavering as she spoke.

He lifted his head and there she stood; pale and motionless, awkwardly holding a collection of gaudy "Get Well" balloons. She obviously hadn't known him well enough to know balloons really weren't his thing. She had an apologetic half smile on her face, a tentative stance and an all-round vulnerability about her.

"Marlo," he said with genuine surprise and shock. He honestly hadn't expected to see her, at least not here in the hospital.

"Hi Sam. You probably weren't expecting to see me huh?" She said.

She looked around vacantly, but it was evident she was really looking for signs of Andy's presence there.

"How are you?" He said thoughtfully. It was strained and awkward for both of them.

"God Sam. How am I, I'm fine. I'm okay. How are you? I mean…" her voice drifted off as she looked furtively away from him.

"I got you these," she added clumsily stationing the balloons on the table nearby. "It's nothing much but-

"It's not your fault Marlo." Sam said firmly enough to make her look at him.

She nodded and attempted to smile.

"I just feel so goddam guilty." She admitted slowly.

"No one is blaming you. Stop beating yourself up." He replied stoically.

"I should have come sooner I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." She whispered coming closer, but stopping short of the bed.

"Marlo, there is something I need to tell you-"he began softly, closing his book and gently placing it on the table.

"You don't have to. I already know." She squeezed her eyes closed and turned her head away.

"I was there Sam. I saw how she ran to you. I saw how she looked at you and how you reached for her. I saw-"

"I thought if I just kept trying I could let her go, but I can't. I should have been honest with you earlier. I should have been honest about us." His voice was truthful, sensitive and steady.

"I nearly died Marlo. It was a wake-up call. I owe it to Andy, and myself, to give us every chance possible now." He spoke with deep and final assertion. Nothing would sway him now.

"I know." She mumbled with a sad smile and empty eyes. "I'm leaving Division 15 anyway. I'm not sure what my future is. But it's as good a time as any for a fresh beginning."

That was the moment Andy came in. She was carrying a white box with a ribbon tied across it. Her face was one beautiful smile, but it disappeared instantly at the sight of Marlo.

"Marlo!" She exclaimed, the life suddenly draining from her face. Her eyes shot questions at Sam like sharp heated daggers.

"I…uh… I wasn't expecting to see you here!"She stumbled over her words. She looked, confused, jealous, dislodged, and even a little possessive.

"Andy," Marlo held her palms up in the air. "Let's not make this more awkward than it needs to be. I was just leaving anyway."

She turned back to him and smiled sincerely this time. "Bye Sam. I'll see you around." She whispered and with that she sauntered past Andy, out of the door and out of his life. All he remembered from that moment was that he felt free, calm and relieved.

"Bye," Andy called after Marlo before turning to give Sam a 'what the hell', raised-eyebrow look'.

"How are you? How was your day?" He asked her as she stood holding her box.

"I'm good. My day was good, well it could have been better! Who knew training a Rookie could be so damn challenging." She sighed as she dropped on the bed before him.

"I know nothing about that." He licked his lips and grinned at her impishly.

Her face broke into a smile, it was the kind of smile that extended to her eyes, exactly like the one Marlo wiped one off her face moments before.

"I'm sure even you had more to work with!" She rolled her eyes and pulled the bow on the box tighter.

"Oh I had more to work with," he quipped flirtatiously, slowly dropping his eyes to the rest of her body.

"You're nuts you know that?" Andy snorted in response."Did Sarah get home okay the other day?" She added hastily still holding the box between them like a block of physical space.

"She did. Thanks for taking her to the station." He nodded in reply.

"Oh I was happy to do it." her voice trailed off and she evaded his eyes for a moment. He couldn't help wondering what his sister and the love of his life talked about in his truck. After all he and Sarah weren't exactly on devoted sibling terms when she stormed out of there in exasperation yesterday.

Andy's gaze returned to Sam and she looked at him straight-faced and almost insistently.

"What did Marlo want?" She asked sternly, her steely eyes unequivocally demanding.

"It's over Andy. I told her so. We're done. She knew it anyway." He replied leaning forward and bringing his head closer to hers so she could look deep into his eyes when he spoke. He brushed against that confounded box she insisted on holding.

"Okay," Andy whispered, a light blush sweeping her cheeks, a secretive smile creeping to her lips. She looked away momentarily.

"She brought you balloons." She quipped as though such a thing was ludicrous. He could detect that victorious mockery in her.

"I guess so." Sam replied.

Andy was silent for a moment, looking around the room before her eyes returned to his.

"I brought you cookies," she smiled finally handing the white box to him confidently.

"Thank you." He replied his eyes not leaving hers as he placed the box on the table and loosened the ribbon. He surveyed the four large iced sugar cookies within. He happened to know Andy had a penchant for those kinds of cookies, especially when she was stressed.

There were a few times when they used to ride together that she insisted he stop the cruiser so she could dash into the bakery that made them. She had gotten into the habit of snapping her cookie in half so they could share it. He never said no.

He smiled; if only life were as simple as this box of frosted sugar cookies. He dipped his hand in to take a cookie, keeping eye contact as he gently broke it in half and handed a piece to her.

The smile on her face was purely magical as she took it from him. Within seconds she took a bite.

"Nick and I, we're done too." She said ever so quietly as she munched away. She looked him in the eye and smiled again.

The kettle whistled noisily as steam spewed up and Sam came back to the present. He turned the stove off and poured Andy a cup of green tea.