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"So? How did it go?" Kat asks me as soon as I get back in the car.
"Good," I reply.
"You don't sound so sure… Was Rebekah mean to you?"
"What? No! She was lovely. So was Elijah."
"So…" Kat presses, "What's the problem?"
"I don't know. I'm just scared I guess."
"Of what?"
"Of everything. Of not being good enough. Of disappointing Elijah, you, mum."
"Oh, don't be stupid Leni. Mum will only be disappointed if you don't try. Besides, you cannot disappoint me or Jeremy or Aunt Jenna even if you tried. And Elijah? Well… I'll put him in his place if he even makes one little side comment..."
"Kat!"
"What?"
"Thank you."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes. For the 100th time, yes."
"Okay. I'll walk you in anyway, I want to see Elijah."
Kat proceeds to walk me into the studios. She's got the contracts in a bag in the crook of her elbow. I'm carrying my guitar. I'm so nervous I could throw up right now.
Rebekah walks towards us when we enter, "Good morning Elena!"
"Morning Beks."
"Beks?" Kat questions.
I could cut the tension between them with a knife.
"So, have you got the contracts?" Rebekah asks.
"Yes," Kat pipes up, "I'll take them straight up to Elijah myself. Have a good day sis."
She walks off as Rebekah offers to lead me to the recording studios where I'll start with Damon. I feel about 6 inches small next to Supermodel Beks in her 6-inch heels. Maybe I'll have to switch to the heels in the back of my closet that Caroline bought me ages ago.
"Here we are… Damon?"
Rebekah opens the door to one of the beautiful recording studios I saw when I first came through. Damon is sitting at the mix desk.
"Good morning ladies." He swivels in his chair to look at us. Damn he looks good. How am I supposed to work with someone this distractingly handsome?
"Damon." Rebekah addresses him. "I've brought your latest project."
"Thanks Barbie." Rebekah rolls her eyes and leaves, hips swaying but Damon doesn't seem to notice. I stand there staring around the room until my eyes land on Damon's, who seems to be watching me just as intently as I was studying the room.
"Ready to leave LaLa land?" he asks.
"Sorry, I've just never been in a room this fancy before."
"Well, get used to it sweetheart cause this is all yours."
"ALL mine?" I question.
"Yep," he pops the 'p', "every producer has his own studio and since you're the only artist on my roster at the moment, it's yours too."
"Wow." I cannot seem to muster words. Between the room, Damon and the prospective of me as a real artist, I seem completely overwhelmed.
"Okay, well enough silence on your part. Silence is the opposite of what we need here… Let's get started, shall we?" He motions for me to come and sit in the recording section. He sits on a stool as I follow him in. "Show me your guitar." I open my case and pass it to him. "Not bad."
"My mother bought it for me."
"She's got good taste." I smile at his remark.
"Okay, so I know you can play guitar. Anything else?"
"Umm… Piano. But I haven't done it in a while."
"That's okay. I happen to be a very well versed pianist, we'll get you back up to scratch." I cannot help the funny feeling in my stomach when he says pianist. What is wrong with me?
"If it's okay, I would prefer to put that off until later." I don't know if I'm ready to play the piano without mum yet. He looks at me squarely, but nods as if he realises that this is something he shouldn't push, yet.
"Fine by me. Now, I know how you sing. Let's work on how you write. We need to get your first single and demo ready for next month."
"Okay." I'm suddenly very nervous. No one but mum has ever heard me sing my own stuff before. He passes my guitar back to me.
"So, what are you going to sing for me?"
"It's called: The Call."
"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye."
Silence. I'm barely breathing. I can't tell if he is. I'm staring at my guitar. I can feel the tears behind my eyelids, threatening to come out. I cannot let them, at least, not on my first day here. Breathe, Elena, breathe. Finally, he speaks.
"Why did you write that song?"
I take a deep breath and then, "Because it was the only way I knew how to deal with such horror and sadness within myself."
"You wrote it after your parents died." I nod. He comes over to me and I feel his finger under my chin, pulling my face upwards. Finally, I'm staring him in the eyes. "Why did you choose that song to sing to me? I'm assuming you have a few songs in your head?"
"I do. But none of them are finished properly except that one."
He takes my guitar out of my hand and leans it up against his chair. Then he comes back over and takes my hand. He leads me to the piano. He sits at one end and gestures for me to sit on the other. He takes a deep breath and then begins to play.
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you."
I'm crying by the end of it. He slowly takes his hands off of the keys.
"That was the song I wrote when my parents died." He looks over to me and sees my tears. "I was trying to make you feel better. Level the playing field or whatever."
"Thank you Damon. It was beautiful."
He stands up, "Yeah. Okay, so enough emotions for today I think. We're even. Why don't you head into the writing rooms and try to finish one of those songs you were talking about. We'll start working on some of them together tomorrow… You okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks Damon." I smile.
"See you tomorrow." He leaves the room, taking out his phone.
I feel so weird about what just happened. But also infinitely lighter. As far as I can tell, despite the tears and the shorter than anticipated first day at the office, today was a success.
The songs used in this chapter are "The Call" by Regina Spektor and "Fix You" by Coldplay. I hope you like the chapter! I am endeavoring to update much faster now! Please review to make sure I do! x