Painful Confessions
Hermione walked into the room that Harry and Ron were sharing with the Pensive floating behind her. Ginny came in behind her and shut the door. Harry pushed one of the beds over to the far side of the small room to make room for the stone basin. The four sat in a circle around the Pensive. They had been shunned from the kitchen to the boys' room, because Bill and Fleur's wedding was tomorrow. The Delacours had arrived this morning; therefore Mrs. Weasley had forbid them to come downstairs unless they were going to help with the decorations.
"This is the last one. October 1957," said Ginny as she picked up the remaining vial.
"But there are two letters…" Ron read the titles of both and turned to Harry. "The last one is addressed to Harry." The redhead handed to last letter to Harry with a wary look and the other to his sister to read. Harry flipped over the letter in his hand as if to open it, but must have thought better of it, because he placed it in his pocket and nodded to Ginny to continue.
Opening up the letter she took a deep breath and began reading. "My first year teaching was the most wonderful experience. I needed something to fill the void that losing Selene had created and while I can never replace my beautiful daughter, I have gained many precious children over the years. I never knew I was meant to be in a classroom until fate brought me there. My students and the special people I worked with became my family, a family I so desperately needed. I still think of Selene and I guess my guilt will never truly fade, but I have learned to love others as well.
"As you probably know, Tom applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position once more, only to be turned down by Albus. To this day, I do not know if that decision was based on the fact he felt Tom was not suited to teach or if he was only protecting me. In my heart, I know it was the latter, but it cannot be denied that Tom would have never been able to reach the hearts of students. I ran into him that evening that he came in for an interview. And as much as Albus was trying to protect me, I also believe he set me up that night. Tom had a lot to say to me that night, but I believe the significance of the memory is the second half."
Minerva was walking leisurely through a corridor and as she turned a corner, she found herself face to face with Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle. There was an awkward pause before Tom spoke.
"Minerva."
"Tom."
The hallway seemed incredibly small as they stood facing one another. Dumbledore was looking airily between the two of them, as if they had never met before. Minerva sent a nervous glance at her employer who quickly stepped in.
"Tom was just here to interview for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."
"Which, regrettably, I did not receive," murmured Tom, looking his estranged wife up and down before turning his attention back to the Headmaster. "Thank you Professor Dumbledore, but I believe I can see myself out." Albus cast a glance to the Transfiguration Mistress and was met with a brief nod.
"Good day, Mr. Riddle." With that, he made his exit, leaving the two alone in the hallway. Tom stood stock still with a stiff back, and while Minerva met his gaze with defiance, she was nervously wringing her hands behind her back. Neither seemed to want to start the conversation, but finally Minerva let her question slip off of her tongue.
"Why are you here?"
"To take care of business." Simple. And he did not seem to be in the mood to elaborate. She could not help but notice he wore very expensive dress robes. Something they would have never been able to afford.
"Why? You were never interested in teaching," she said accusingly.
"Hogwarts means much more to me than a school. Perhaps one day you will understand, Minerva." Pulling out a pocket watch, he gave a fake sigh and said, "I really must be on my way."
"I'm not going to stop you," she sneered. Tom's face contorted slightly.
"You would do well to return to me, Minerva."
"And why is that?"
"You teaching; you being here; you hiding behind Dumbledore is a disgrace to your magic." He turned to her in earnest, stepping in intimately close. She did not flinch at his affront, but stared back in equal venom. Gone was the carefree schoolgirl, gone was the young woman in love, gone was the mother and lover. Gone was Minerva Riddle. Professor Minerva McGonagall was as hard as steel: unbreaking, unyielding, and unfeeling.
"Leave me, Tom. I have no interest in Dark Magic," she spat and raised her arms to push him away. Instead he grabbed her forearms with a scowl.
"Why do you waste it? Why do you fear what you could become?" Harry felt a surge of protectiveness for his Head of House as she struggled to free herself from his iron grasp. Tom's grip was bruising and she gasped a bit in pain. "Do you feel that, Minerva? That is pain-"
"Let me go!" At her interruption, Tom shoved her against the stone wall. Next to Harry, Hermione let out a small whimper. Ron unconsciously placed his arm around her shoulder.
"This is pain!" His voice was raised, a sign he was slowly losing his composure. "And pain is all you will ever be able to feel, Minerva. Every man who suffers under my wand may beg for death. Every child that cries as my mark is placed over their home can fear their own demise. Every witch, wizard, and Muggle will associate death with the name Lord Voldemort. They can all see their death at my hand. But you my dear, will never be able to escape life. For, as long as my heart beats, yours will as well." He released her roughly and she seemed to lose her Gryffindor bravery for a moment as her green eyes filled with fear.
"Leave me alone, Tom." Minerva's voice was weak and tears were threatening to fall.
"Don't you understand, you foolish woman? I will never be able to leave you alone!" He quickly drew his wand and placed it at her pale collar bone; his face flushed with adrenaline. "I am your life! As long as I live, so will you! I saved your life with my own!" Tearing himself away from her, Tom turned and stormed down the hallway. Minerva took a moment to compose herself before shouting after him.
"We are all human, Tom. Someday we will die!"
The hair on the back of Harry's neck stood up as Tom Riddle turned slowly towards her from his position at the base of a staircase. A wicked grin spread across his malevolent face at her words. The laugh that came from his lips was no longer Tom Riddle's. Lord Voldemort had shed that shell. Just as Minerva Riddle had traded her name, Tom Riddle had abandoned his.
"Ah, but there is a flaw in your logic. I plan on living forever." Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small crown, he finished, "And I am already paving my way to immortality."
As soon as Tom turned the corner, she transfigured into her cat form and sped off down the hallway. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had to run to keep up with the fast moving tabby. The memory flickered around them as they fell further behind. They finally caught up with her as she transformed back into her human form as she shouted the password to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore was standing behind his desk putting books on the shelf when the distraught woman flung open his door.
"Are you mad at me, my dear?" he asked without turning around. When he did not receive an answer, he finally turned to face her. Upon seeing her pale and shaking figure, he moved around the desk in record speed to be by her side. When he reached out for her, however, she pulled away.
"Are you trying to test me? To see where my loyalties are?" her voice was low and carefully controlled. It was evident she was trying to hold back the whirlwind emotion that were attempting to control her.
"Minerva-"
She held up a hand to stop him. "No. I do not care what you-"
"Minerva, wait, you have to understand what he has been doing since you left. Tom Riddle has always had a flair for dark magic and Lord Voldemort is taking that even further."
"You think I don't know," she whispered harshly. "I know better than anyone what he is capable of!" There was a bite in her voice as it rose and she looked dangerously at Albus.
"I just had to be sure he would not try to recruit you." Albus had a calm voice, but there was a storm in his eyes.
"No, you had to be sure I would not go with him," she hissed back. "You are a fool Albus Dumbledore. You have no idea what he is capable of. And you are a fool to think I have a choice in all of this. I walked away from him because I refuse to be his pawn. Do not make the same mistake. I will not be used."
"You always have a choice," replied Albus gently. Minerva's eyes flashed in anger.
"I have no choice. Tom will always have power over me." Flipping out her wand, which caused Albus to flinch, she pointed at the door. "Accio Tom's memory." After a few seconds, the office door opened and a small vial with a red stopper flew into her hand. "I should have been buried next to my daughter. I am dark magic and Lord Voldemort is my keeper.
She held out the vial and Albus took it tentatively. He did not take his eyes off of her when he walked slowly over to the pensive and poured the gaseous liquid in. He lowered his head and slipped into the memory.
As he watched it, Minerva stood stock still in the same place he left her. With her eyes closed she took a couple of deep breathes, calming herself. For her four students watching her stand alone, all they wanted to do is reach out and comfort them.
Albus pulled himself from the memory with a grave look on his face. If it was possible, her body grew even more still under his gaze. Then, without words, he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. Minerva leaned into his embrace and finally let her tears fall. As they stood there, her tears became sobs and he held her until they were spent. Once she fell silent, he pulled her face to look at him and kissed her on both cheeks.
"It is because we love, Minerva, that we feel pain. Love is keeping you alive, not a curse."
"That's not what it feels like…" she stuttered and pulled a handkerchief from her robes and wiped away her tears.
"Do you know why I refused to give you away at your wedding?" Dry-faced, but still red from crying, Minerva looked at him in confusion. Taking her silence as permission to continue, he said, "I always felt a special connection to you. You were so much like me when I was younger, but it was how you were different from my own self that drew me to you. I knew you were going to do great things one day.
"As selfish as I am, I guess I wanted you to myself. I wanted you to have someone in your life that could love you for your heart…and I did not think Tom was that person for you. However, I was wrong. The spell he used to bring you back could only work if his heart and soul were truly in love with you. In his own way, he has always wanted to protect you and let you become as powerful as you were supposed to be. Why else would he let you go?"
"I loved him…"
"And you still do." Albus' eyes were weary and dark with emotion. Silence fell between them for a few minutes as they stood there taking in what had just transpired. Suddenly, she broke the silence.
"He will lead us to war, won't he?" Seeing Albus' nod of confirmation, she cleared her throat and said firmly, "Then you are going to need my help. What do you know about Horcruxes?"
Albus looked at her curiously and said, "I know the basics. After a completely horrific and purposeful act, one that is terrible enough to split the soul, the piece of the soul is placed in some sort of object to preserve the soul."
"He has made at least one. I know he spoke to Professor Slughorn about creating more than one."
"At least one? You mean he intends to make more?" Minerva nodded stiffly. Albus looked thoughtfully towards the fire place. "To split the soul into more than two pieces. It would be the ultimate way of protecting oneself."
"He's looking for a way to become immortal."
"Then we have to stop him," he said.
Again, she gave a stiff nod, but this time she shut her eyes to hold back tears that were once again threatening to form. "We are going to need help."
"I've been thinking of forming a small group of people to get a head start on the war on the horizon. How do you feel about the name 'Order of the Phoenix'?"
A/N: I felt like I needed to put this at the end this time because there will not be a preview. Anyway, this is the last of the memories Minerva left for Harry. There will be more memories for you, but not in this form. From now on, we move forward more quickly in time. I will not be going into great detail about what Harry, Ron, and Hermione are doing since you already know that from JKR. Any way that I change JKR's master plan, I will put in the story, but besides that, you can pretty much assume it's how it was in the book. Also we are at the end of what I had pre-written. I still intend on having a chapter up every week or so, but I do have a very busy schedule, so I won't make any promises. Anyway, let me know if you have any comments or questions. You guys (and gals) are the best!
Preview: **Untitled**
Bill and Fleur become husband and wife. Alastor shares a memory with Harry, Hermione, and Ron before Death Eaters attack at the wedding.