Chapter 19

Kuru

Their walk to the Dining Center was silent and uneventful, though it felt like the complete opposite. Adrenaline was pumping through both of their bodies, each one keeping a watchful and protective eye on the other. The orange glow of the campus streetlights did little to brighten the darkness around them. Once inside, the pair released an audible sigh, oblivious to the other's. A split second later and they gathered their composure. Asami slung her bag off of her shoulder and handed it to Korra.

"Why don't you go find us a table? I'll get the food. I know what you like."

Korra could have sworn the woman winked at her before turning away. The speculation of it alone resulted in the Southerner standing there, befuddled, with a loose grip on the carrier and a small gape on her face. She shook her head into the present and trotted over to the row of booths at the side of the Center. She sunk into the seat and twiddled her thumbs.

Relax, Korra. Relax.

She wasn't even sure what was wrong.

Relax.

(-)

Asami filled her tray with spicy noodles and a few vegetable rolls. I hope she'll be able to chew this. She was at the drink station, gathering hot water for tea, when a man approached her.

"Hey, Asami!"

"Kuru! How are you feeling?" She gave a short smile to her friend as she gathered two mugs.

"I'm not bad, just been recovering and busy and what not. My friend said you missed the study session today and was wondering where you were." He reached in front of her for a glass as he spoke. Her eyes followed his movement, but her mind was lost in her neglect of her academic responsibilities.

"Yeah, I know. I've been a bit… preoccupied." Though she had no regrets about taking care of Korra, she couldn't deny the fact that her attention had been pulled from her classes. The first lecture that came to mind was chemistry. It was the last thing she wanted to think about, so she tried to change the subject. "But I heard you missed Redemption last weekend after our run-in in the hallway." She chuckled, though she didn't really care. She didn't follow the campus sports, but she had overheard a conversation about the school's horrible loss a few days ago in her calculus class.

Kuru rubbed his hand through his black hair. The engineer thought she noticed a hint of something that she couldn't place, but she let it go. "Yeah, I got caught up in a few things of my own." He paused for a moment, hoping it would go unnoticed. "A tad touch of the flu, that's what got me. I think I was still getting over it a few days ago. Why don't we eat dinner together and catch up on what we missed? I've got some papers for you, too, that my friend gave me, in case I saw you before chemistry tomorrow."

Asami hesitated, unsure of whether Korra would be comfortable with this. At the same time, she felt a pang of guilt rise in her; she had been ignoring her studies too much these past few weeks and couldn't risk falling behind in her classes. "Alright, sounds good. Just find me in the seating area when you're done."

He grinned and continued gathering the rest of his meal. She lingered for a moment in a conflicted, absentminded gaze before she left for the dining tables.

(-)

Korra had finished reading the advertisement on the napkin dispenser for the fifth time when Asami returned. The smell of the noodles hit her and she smiled to the scent. She rose to let the engineer into the wall-side of the booth.

"Sorry I took so long. I hope you don't mind, but one of my friends will be joining us for dinner. I need to go over some of the material I missed while –" she stopped herself and rethought her words.

The Southerner picked up on the action before Asami could respond. She held up her hand and gave the older woman her famous crooked smile. "That's fine, Asami. I don't want to take away from your studies." She lifted her container of noodles from the tray and popped it open, inhaling the sweet aroma of its contents. She fidgeted with her chopsticks, struggling to determine which hand was easier to work them with: her right hand with the bruised knuckles or the left with the sprained wrist. Although she was almost healed in that short amount of time, both still produced dull aches. She went with the right. Just as she brought some of the food to her face, she looked up.

There he was.

It was him. She couldn't deny it. Flashes of the assault shot themselves across her vision. His black hair. Those brown eyes. That awful, awful grin he gave her – which he was sending her way right now.

She dropped her chopsticks. Panic shook her body. The fear was evident in her eyes, and his acknowledgment of it was clear in his. Her heart raced. She tried to look away, but the Dining Center fell into darkness. She was surrounded again. Five men. Just five. Their hands on her. Their fists. His fist. Flying at her face.

She flinched and fell from the booth.

"Korra?" Asami's yell fell on deaf ears.

Korra fought for breath and struggled to her feet. Pain pounded through her. Memories came in an onslaught. Everything was black. All she could see was them. Her flight or fight response kicked in and terror took over, as much as she wanted to defend herself instead.

She bolted.

Her mind was still stuck in the haze of the attack. She couldn't take them on and she knew it. Fists flew at her and she ran. Ran as fast as she could. Ran and hoped that she could escape. A patron stood in her way and she shoved him aside without realizing it, his tray of food flying to the floor. This brought her to the ground but she rebounded with ease and kept running.

"Korra!" Asami followed on her heels, calling her name.

(-)

Korra ran. She didn't know where. She didn't care. She didn't look back. She just had to get away. Still under the belief of her distress, she saw nothing but darkness and her aggressors. They chased after her, calling her name. She kept running. Everything burned but she refused to stop. Nothing looked familiar. The cold air stung and her body was on fire. She heard her name again in spaced intervals.

'Korra. Korra. Korra.'

The footsteps behind her were loud in her ears.

'Korra! Korra!'

She was blind. Blind to everything. She groaned to a punch she thought she received.

'Korra!'

Her body weakened. Her legs failed her. She tripped and came crashing down onto the cement. Her elbows and chin scraped against the ground and bled. She slid about a yard before she stopped. Korra tried to get to her feet but nothing was working. Fear had shut her limbs down. The men had reached her.

"Get away from me!" She scrambled onto her back. "Leave me alone!" She kicked out but hit only air.

'Korra.'

"No! No!" Her screams were almost blood curdling as she flailed, fighting off her aggressors. She yelled in agony as they assaulted her, each blow forcing pain to shoot through her.

'Korra!'

"Please…" She curled into a ball and cried, losing the battle for breath. She lost control of her body in her convulsions.

Get up. Fight them. You're not weak. You're strong. You're a warrior.

I can't…

Get up, Korra. Stop being afraid. Get them.

I can't!

"Korra?"

The voice was faint, but familiar.

"Wh – who?" She stammered in her sobbing.

"Korra, it's Asami."

The Southerner clutched onto the body in front of her, though she couldn't see it at all. "You need to get out of here! They're going to hurt you! Run, Asami, run!" She felt hands grip onto her and hold her to the ground. She struggled against them and failed.

"Korra, no one is around. It's just us."

"No, no, don't you see them? They're going to get you! How can you not see them? They're right there." She pointed at what she saw in her head: drunken, vengeful men, cracking their knuckles, grins of evil on their shady faces.

"Korra, no one is here!" Asami fought the Water Tribe girl's retaliation, ignoring the few pedestrians who were bustling away from the pair, and slammed her shoulders back onto the cement.

The shock of force across the entirety of her spine and a gust of cold wind snapped her from her hallucinations. She felt a tremor course through her upon impact. She panted and pushed the blackness from the corners of her eyes. A new, lighter darkness replaced it, one illuminated by orange street lights. Korra couldn't control her heaving. Her sight swirled until it centered on the woman in front of her.

"A-Asami?"

"What the hell was that, Korra?"

The younger woman recoiled. She looked around and found unknown buildings surrounding them. Asami's grip on her shoulders resembled that of a Fire Nation Hawk on its prey.

"It… it was him."

The engineer raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Kuru?"

"It was him, Asami. He was the one. He was the one with the other men, who hurt me."

"Are you sure?"

"I could never forget that face. That grin…" Korra shook.

She had a hard time believing what the Southerner was accusing of her friend. Korra saw the disbelief in Asami's eyes and rolled out of her hands. She turned her back on the woman and covered her face with her knees. She didn't like losing control. She didn't like being vulnerable. She shut herself down in self-defense.

"Korra…" The older woman reached for her, but the wounded girl pulled away.

How could she not fucking believe me? Does she think I'm just kidding? How could she think I didn't remember? It was him, I know it was.

The engineer sat on the ground and crossed her legs into an agura sitting position. She rested her chin in her palm and contemplated Korra's claim. She thought to the moments in the Dining Center by the drink station. She focused on his face, which had no sign of injury on it. The generic description of tall and bulky fit. And his black hair. But that could be anyone.

He did miss the game this weekend. She recalled, but that wasn't enough to convince her.

He said he had the flu. And he certainly looked like he had it on Monday.

She strained to think. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, oblivious to her surroundings.

His hand, Asami! His hand. Her logical voice pointed out. She zoomed in on him reaching for the glass in front of her. His knuckles had a faint tint of brown and blue from bruising, just as Korra's did, in all the same spots. And it's on his left hand. The voice continued. The swelling on her face was only on the right side.

Asami's entire thought process had taken her less than thirty seconds. Her eye for detail and her analytical mind had never failed her. With this conclusion, she felt an overwhelming tsunami of guilt flood her. She looked over to the injured girl curled in a ball beside her, who had stopped heaving but let out the occasional sniffle. How could I ever doubt what Korra said? Especially about this. She sees him in her dreams every – She couldn't bear to finish the thought.

"How's your friend the snow savage?" A familiar male voice filled their ears. Korra took in a sharp breath. Rage engulfed Asami.

That bastard. How dare he try to come up to me and be nice after what he did to Korra, after he knew how much she meant to me. Everyone knows, it's obvi – Asami froze.

The man chuckled as he walked by, pulling her from her mind. He laughed like it was all a game, in the same way that haunted Korra in her nightmares. The Water Tribe girl stumbled onto her back and pushed herself away from him. The engineer was on her feet, fists clenched, when Korra bumped into her leg.

Asami realized that Korra needed her to stay with her more than she needed her to chase after him. She crouched beside the younger woman and wrapped her arms around her torso. She grit her teeth and glared in his direction, long after he was out of sight.

"Asami?"

Her fierce olivine eyes met the puffy blue ones looking up to her.

"I…"

"Don't you dare apologize to me." The engineer's voice was aggressive.

Korra sealed her lips in fear and contemplation. She chose her words with care. "I didn't mean to embarrass you." The scowl that resulted told her that was the wrong choice. She tried a different approach, to just open up despite her previous hesitation. "I don't know what happened back there. I saw him, and I panicked. I started seeing things, and I just… lost it…" She looked away. "That's never happened to me before. I've never felt so… afraid. I feel so pathetic, Asami. I mean, look at me! I'm fucking sobbing on the ground like a child. I feel like a child, a helpless little kid. But I'm not. I know I'm not supposed to be afraid, but I am. Every time I try to fight it, it just doesn't seem to work." The Southerner brought her knees up to her chest and set her jaw.

Asami kept her arms around the brunette. "It's okay to be afraid, Korra. Fear is a natural emotion."

"I don't want to be afraid. I don't like it."

"I'm pretty sure no one likes being afraid."

"But why does it have such a grip on me? It's stupid. I'm tougher than this. Stronger. I have to be. I can't be afraid of them. It's like there's something inside that just… I don't know, stirs? Burns?" Korra wiped her face and turned from the engineer. "I sound so fucking stupid right now."

Asami repositioned herself so that she was in Korra's line of sight. "You're fine. Tell me."

Korra sighed. "Like, there's a part of me telling me I shouldn't be afraid. That these people are nothing compared to me, that I could take them and wipe the floor with them. But part of me knows that's not true. They literally almost killed me, yet there's still that part that's tell me not to fear them, to just step up and fight because I can and I just… it's all just so confusing. I don't know, Asami. I just don't know anymore…" She buried her face again and wept in her bewilderment. Feelings of worthlessness and distress intermingled with the memories of her own failures. Now, she was cowering from these drunken college students who never seemed to release their clutch on her mind, and she hated it, loathed this notion of helplessness, of vulnerability, of absolute rawness. They got the best of her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She shut down once more, this time refusing to expose herself again.

I'm no warrior. I'm no fighter. I'm nothing. Korra receded further inward. A hand tightened around her shoulders.

"We need to get you somewhere safe." Asami helped her stand up. The younger woman had a new limp in her right leg from the fall. Her bloody scrapes had started to crust. She refused the engineer's arm to lean on and walked beside her in mental isolation.

The silence between them lingered for hours after they arrived at Asami's apartment.