Author's note: Sorry you don't like my cliffhangers! Also apologies for the delay. I accidentally deleted my chapter and had to write it again :-(

Tommy was transported to that moment when he had stumbled back in disbelief as he watched the life leave Helen's eyes. Then he had Barbara to anchor him to the world. This time the universe was spinning and slowly extending, drawing him away from everything that was real. He reached Barbara just as Cam did. Tommy took her hand. It was warm and soft but unresponsive. Cam and Davo gently rolled Bazza away from Barbara. Tommy watched in surreal detachment as the Australians reverently closed his vacant eyes. Tommy could not look at Barbara. The horror of staring at Helen still haunted him. It was the only clear memory he had of her now.

Cam was kneeling beside Tommy checking for vital signs. "She's alive! Get that ambulance here now!"

Alive! Tommy looked down and examined the scene methodically and without feeling. The blood had come from the artery in Bazza's neck. He patted Barbara's unconscious body looking for wounds but other than an egg on her temple and a few minor glass cuts she seemed unscathed. He pulled her up into his arms and cradled her, rocking gently back and forward. He was muttering something but his mind was blank. The only thing that mattered was that she lived.

The paramedics needed the police crew to pull Tommy away so that they could examine her. She was placed on a gurney and rushed away. Someone led Tommy by the arm as they followed. He felt weak and his legs wobbled. It was only when Davo stood in front of him that Tommy realised everything was echoed and distant. "I can't hear," he said vacantly.

Someone helped him sit and the pain shot through him. He leapt up and protested. Hands grabbed him and forced him back down but this time he was lying on his stomach. It hurt less and he acquiesced. At some point he lost contact with reality. Lights flashed vaguely across his vision, red and blue, orange and green. He was cold and yet he was sweating. He tried to tear at his tie but his hands did not co-operate and he gave up. A low grunting sound reminded Lynley of a farm pig wallowing in mud; then he realised it was coming from him. His legs began to burn in curved lines as if Lucifer was whipping him with his tail. "Get thee away demon!" he screamed. He was flying. First left then right. Someone was beating his legs. The light was muted and red. This must be Hell!

When Barbara woke it was not Tommy holding her hand but Cam. That made no sense. Tommy had been there. She had almost reached him. She remembered falling. Something large and heavy had forced her to the ground. Tommy had turned away. He had the boy. Glass! Glass had flown around her. It had pelted into Tommy's back. "Tommy! Where's Tommy?" she cried as she tried to sit up.

"He's okay Barbara," Cam reassured her, "he's getting treatment for glass cuts and a ruptured ear drum in the other part of Emergency." Cam didn't mention that he was suffering badly from shock.

"Can I see him? Take me to him Cam," she pleaded as she tried to sit up.

"Shoosh, in a while. You've been unconscious for nearly three hours. You're not going anywhere just yet young lady."

"But he'll be worried. Go and tell him I'm fine and find out when they'll let me see him."

"Yes ma'am," Cam replied as he saluted her and grinned.

"I don't care if you think I'm bossy! I want to know how he is. Now go."

Tommy had been sedated to help manage his shock. Now he was calmer the doctors were methodically removing the glass shards from his legs. Cam asked the doctor about his condition and explained about Barbara. The doctor came over to see her. "Ms Havers?"

"Yes."

"I'm Doctor Fuller. Your...partner...Mr Lynley is having some glass removed from his legs. He will be another hour or so. I think we need to keep you under observation as well for another few hours. The scans were clear of bleeding but I suspect you have a massive headache." Barbara nodded. "I'll arrange for him to come over when we're done. Will that help?"

"Yes, thank you. Tommy can afford the best care. Whatever it takes," she said desperately.

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "We don't discriminate in our treatment here at Wollongong Hospital Ms Havers. You will both get good care."

When the doctor left her cubicle Barbara stared at Cam who was grinning broadly. "What?"

"You've only been together a few days and already you're throwing the poor man's hard earned around."

"Trust me, he can afford it. What about the boys?"

"All safe but traumatised. Two of them were missing persons so they've been re-united with their parents. That's where Davo and the others are. It was very brave of you to go back for that boy."

"He was crying. Bazza had him but he was scared and wouldn't go with him. Because he was a man I guess. Bazza! How's he? He tried to shield me but he was bloody heavy."

Cam took Barbara's hand. She knew instantly was he was going to say. "No!" she wailed, "no! I misunderstood him but he had a heart of gold."

"I know. The team are devastated about it but he would have wanted you to live Barbara. He liked you. Thought you were down to earth and a compassionate cop."

Tears ran down Barbara's face. "I'm sorry Cam."

Cam hugged her. "You're safe though. Imagine the paperwork for The Met if we lost either of you."

An hour later Barbara was 'resting' in the ward, demanding five minute updates on Tommy. Cam insisted on staying with them and driving them back to Sydney. Neither of them spoke except when he came back from his regular checks on Tommy who was eventually wheeled in to the cubicle beside her, face down on the bed. He was facing away from Barbara and was complaining loudly in his best Lord Asherton voice that he wanted to be informed immediately about the condition of his partner.

"I'm fine Tommy," she said loud enough to interrupt him, "stop making a fuss!"

Tommy spun his head around to face her. Pain shot through his neck where the stitches were tight and he yelped. "Barbara! Oh thank God! I was so worried. Are you really alright?"

"Yes, I am. I'm doing better than you I think."

"Speak up I can barely hear you," he shouted.

"Will your ear be okay?"

"Yes. Why did you go back into that house after our conversation this morning?" he scolded loudly.

"I couldn't leave a little boy in there could I." Barbara climbed out of the bed and stumbled over to the chair by his bed. She felt giddy and sank gratefully into the chair and leant her head on his bed a few inches from Tommy's.

Tommy reached out and stroked her head gently. "I love you Barbara," he said seriously.

"Well you can love her enough to let her back into bed!" a deep voice bellowed behind them. A stiff woman in her early sixties lifted Barbara up and steered her back to bed. "I told the doctor nothin' good comes from lettin' couples be together. Now you both need your rest. You have five minutes to talk and then I comin' back and you're going back to bed. If you get out again young lady I will move you to another ward. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes matron!" they replied hastily.

"Sister! I work for a livin'. And you," she said looking at Cam, "out! I'll call you when they're free." The woman turned and marched from the room pushing a hapless Cam in front of her.

When she left they began to laugh. "Stop, it hurts my head," she protested.

"Everything hurts over here," he replied.

"No damage to er...sensitive parts is there?"

"No, he's fine," he smirked.

Two hours later Tommy waddled gingerly to Cam's waiting car. He was wearing a blue forensic suit that Cam had in his boot but Tommy was grateful it was still well before dawn. The doctors had cut off his shredded suit pants to tend to his cuts. "The wounds are a bit stiff. It makes it hard to move," he said apologetically.

Barbara looked at him and smiled. He could look dignified in any situation but walking out of the hospital in his shirt, tie and jacket and shoes but missing his trousers may have raised some eyebrows. She grabbed his hand and steadied him. "Will you be okay to sit? Maybe I should have insisted they take you by ambulance."

"I'll be fine," he assured her then turned to Cam, "just go easy on the bumps."

Most of the cuts were to his lower legs so with careful positioning the trip was relatively comfortable. Cam helped them up to their apartment but stood dumbfounded when he saw the sun rising languidly above the Opera House. "Can I join The Met? No wonder you didn't want to stay at the other place."

"I'm paying for it separately," Tommy explained sheepishly, "I wanted Barbara to enjoy Sydney."

They helped Tommy onto the couch and Cam excused himself. "Davo wants to know if we can come over later and tidy up the loose ends. We still have to find Roo and we will need formal statements for the inquest."

Tommy looked at his watch. "It's Sunday and I doubt we can do too much today. What about after lunch? We need a bit of rest."

After she let Cam out Barbara turned to Tommy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I want to get changed. I feel foolish in these but more importantly I wanted to buy time to contact Roo first. I don't think he'll trust the police but he will trust you."

Barbara helped Tommy to the bedroom and insisted on stripping off his clothes. "Are you sure this isn't some sort of fantasy?" he asked mischievously.

"Hmm, I do rather like strip searching you," she agreed, "oh Tommy you have so many cuts." The back of his thighs and calves were cover in lines of neat stitches. Most were only single or double sutures but three of them were binding deep, long cuts.

"Most of them are not too bad. I'm glad Bazza kept you safe."

Barbara tried to fight back her sadness. She shook her head as if to silence him. Large arms enveloped her and she buried her face gratefully into his neck. "I'm so sorry to put you through that," she whispered, "I saw your face. I understand what memories it brought back."

Tommy hugged her harder, almost to the point she could not breathe. "I thought...I'd lost you. It was just like watching after you were shot. I can't do this week after week. I don't expect you to give up policing but would you consider getting a desk job?"

"Anything can happen anytime Tommy. I don't want to be a paper cop. Would you be able to give it away? Are you going to ask for a desk job?"

He pushed her back so she could see his eyes. "Yes, if it meant you were safe. When you were lying there and I thought I'd lost you I knew if you died I'd follow you. I need you Barbara. You give me life. Without you it means nothing. I don't expect you to feel the same but I think you love me enough to want to be with me."

"What's this? Some sort of ultimatum? You or the Met but not both? I need you both."

Tommy and Barbara stared at each other. "I'm serious," he said, "I'm everything you want in a man, in life..."

"Yeah, modesty being top of my list."

"The only thing you need Barbara is someone who'll love you for eternity. I will but the Met won't. I can't lose you. I want to be with you every day. I want us to wake up in each other's arms and not wonder if it might be our last day together."

"And you think I want that?"

"I'm trying to ask you to m..."

"No! Don't Tommy. Not today. It's for all the wrong reasons. All this talk about losing each other and eternity. It's too much for me. Can't you just..."

Tommy knew he was prone to overreaction and emotional decisions. He did not want to push Barbara so he decided to end the discussion with a kiss; a lovingly tender kiss that rapidly turned fiery. They both tore furiously at their remaining clothes and without conscious thought moved across to the bed.

Barbara had expected a fast encounter that mirrored their desperation and fears. Instead Tommy was deliberately slow and careful. His wounds limited him but she knew it was not that; he was worshipping her, showing how much he cared. Despite her protestations Barbara had been as scared of losing him as he had of losing her and she showed him with her body what she could not bring herself to say. Sleep came easily as they clung tightly to each other, only too aware of what they might have lost.

When Barbara woke a little after nine Tommy was propped up in bed, iPad in hand and his glasses perched intellectually on the bridge of his nose. He saw her stir and leant down to kiss her gently. "Good morning," he said cheerily, "I've arranged to meet Roo at Bondi at eleven."

"Morning. You've been busy."

"No rest for the wicked. I was wicked wasn't I?"

"I like your sort of wickedness," she replied with a grin.

"No, I meant asking you to give up something you love for me."

"I don't think it's wicked to be scared and to want to keep me safe. I was just as frantic about you. Can you give it up? It gives you purpose too. It's important to us both but I won't enjoy it if we can't be together. I don't want to sit and worry that you're out there without me to keep an eye on you; that you're relying on someone else as your partner."

"No one else can be my partner. I hated every second of not being partnered with you over here although I think you quite enjoyed it with Cam."

"He's a good cop Tommy."

"I know. I can't help the way I feel Barbara. I can see a different future for us but you won't let me discuss it."

"When this is over ask me then. Now come here."

They dressed casually for their meeting with Roo. Barbara had grown used to dressing up and now felt a little dowdy. Tommy had unceremoniously parceled up their clothes from yesterday and thrown them out. She was glad she had been wearing her old suit. "Will I get reception to call a cab?" she called out to her partner who was still combing his hair.

"Let's take the bus. I prefer to stand if I can."

Barbara wondered if he had ever used public transport before and if this was an attempt to appear normal. He surprised her though with his ease at navigating through the confusion of bus stops to find the bus. He stood in the standing section hanging on to the strap dangling from the bar above his head while she held onto a pole and allowed him to pull her into his side. It was comfortable and normal as though this was the way their relationship had always been. She could not imagine ever going back to a time where they were not lovers.

The bus wound down the hill to the beach and as they got out Tommy looked for landmarks. Bondi was a favourite tourist beach but the locals had insisted other beaches were better. The yellow sand lined the sweep of the bay and a wide promenade followed the curve around to the south. They slowly began to walk along it arm-in-arm. Families dotted the sand with colourful umbrellas and beach towels and a few hardy swimmers were braving the rolling surf.

Barbara watched the rays of yellowy silvered light across the breaking waves. When she had come out of the house she had seen the abject terror on his face and knew he thought she would die. She had felt guilty letting him down but she had also understood in that look how deeply he loved her. This was no affair that would end back in London as she had feared. Tommy meant every word he said including his unuttered proposal. It was wonderful and yet daunting. So much of his world was a mystery to her; a frightening labyrinth that she would not be confident navigating through. Oh Tommy, how can I be with you? You need someone who is your equal.

They stopped at the place Roo had nominated, where a small creek snaked across the sand to the sea. She nestled closer and looked out at the glinting blue expanse of ocean. Surfers bobbed in the water waiting on waves big enough to take them to shore. As she watched several of them rose then quickly fell but a few managed to weave and sweep their way across the break almost to the beach. The soft autumn light glinted off their wetsuits lending them a godlike aura. They kept trying with mixed success but none of them gave up. She glanced up at Tommy. His hair was unruly and hung down over his eye. He looked peaceful and adorable. For a fleeting moment she imagined a smaller version of him holding her hand and she knew she could never willingly walk away. She turned back to the beach and sighed, "looks like I'm going to be like you lot and keep having to pick myself up when I fall."

"I rather think it's my job to stop you falling." Tommy instinctively understood her thoughts and he hugged her closer. "We can manage anything Barbara. The world, my world, is not scary together."

Barbara was startled. She had not intended to speak her thoughts. "Sorry, I was miles away."

Tommy kissed her gently. "Just remember I love you."

"Gross!"

They turned to see Roo and KoolCat leaning against a lightpole.