Chapter 20

Numb

She stared through the glass doors at the injured woman leaning against the metal banister of her apartment patio. The moon was bright and overpowered the dull dim of the nearby campus lights. It bounced off of her skin with a sort of elegance that Asami couldn't explain. Korra had been out there for over an hour, just gazing into the sky. The engineer had been watching her from beside the fireplace for just as long, her homework abandoned on the floor. A strong breeze tossed the brunette's hair around but she did not yield to its frosty bite. Asami tried to pry herself away from the girl, but couldn't. She felt guilt and sadness for her actions after Korra fled the Dining Center. Her fingers fidgeted with the corner of the red blanket she wrapped herself in, her mind lost in a maze of paths she couldn't traverse. A growl from her stomach beckoned her, though she had no form of appetite. A sharp gust shook the apartment and forced Asami to pull her fleece closer. She looked to the Water Tribe girl, who remained unmoved. Chills clawed their way up the engineer's spine and seeped across her nerves to her limbs. She ached for warmth and huddled closer to the dying fire.

It was nowhere near sufficient.

Asami craved a different kind of heat. The moment she traced its source in her mind, she slammed her eyes shut and hit the back of her head against the brick of the mantle.

Of course it's her. Tears tried to penetrate her lids but she choked them down. She took a deep breath and attempted to focus on things that calmed her.

Tea. Maybe some tea would help.

It would certainly warm her insides up, she concluded. She struggled to her feet and sulked into the kitchen, though not before stealing another glance at the woman outside. Asami sighed and put a pot of water on the stovetop to boil. She retrieved a mug from the cabinet, but her free hand lingered on a second. After a moment of empty thought, she pulled it from the shelf and placed it next to hers.

(-)

Korra gazed at the moon, lost in her beauty. She wanted to escape her thoughts of the assault and numb her pain. The cold had done its job on her skin; she couldn't feel a thing. Now if only she could get rid of her damned ruminations…

The sound of a sliding glass door snapped her internal attention away. She hadn't made much progress in achieving mental silence anyways. She was still staring at the moon, her eyes dry from inadequate blinking and the howling wind. The detachment on her surface had turned into the familiar sharp sting of the onset of frostbite. She didn't care. Another gale tried to knock her down, but she was unfazed. She just didn't care.

"Here." A reddening pale hand and a steaming ceramic cup appeared before her. "I brought you some tea. I thought you might be cold out here."

Korra paused before taking the mug from the engineer. She remained silent and the hot liquid was touched only by the wind.

Asami stood there while the breeze whipped her hair and the cold kissed her nose. She wanted to say something, but she had no idea what. Little did she know, Korra felt the same way. The icy air filled the gap between them, its speed contrasting their stillness. The engineer shivered and pulled the sleeve of her jacket with her free hand. The Southerner took note of her discomfort in her peripherals.

The older woman traced Korra's line of sight. "The moon is beautiful tonight."

Korra nodded and tightened her grip on the mug. The heat had crept into her fingers and brought about a warmth that Korra wasn't sure she wanted. She closed her eyes and felt the light of the moon on her skin. The wind sung a song in her ear, and she felt a bit more at peace. "The moon always helps me feel better," she whispered, unaware of how hoarse her voice was from her previous endeavors.

Asami bowed her head, thinking back to her actions earlier that night. She mimicked Korra's pose against the railing, but remained a few feet away. "How does the moon help?"

The Southerner shrugged. "I'm not sure. I know for Water Benders, it controls their Bending and gives them strength. I guess since I'm a Water Tribe girl, it brings me some sort of solace, too. I can feel it on my skin and it just feels… good. It feels better tonight than it ever has. I can't really explain it." She opened her eyes and looked at Asami for the first time since they got to her apartment.

The engineer was staring with empty eyes at the tea in her light pink hands. She began to understand why Korra had been standing outside for so long as her fingers numbed away. She had never felt such a strong emotional turmoil as she had been the past few days. She wanted it to freeze, just like her surface was. Asami shut her lids and enjoyed this lack of feeling in her skin, hoping it would penetrate deeper.

Korra, on the other hand, struggled with this prospect that she had desired so much for the time she spent on the patio. She wanted to push everyone away and lose herself in this cold, just for a little while, just enough to stop the rippling of her thoughts. But when her eyes scanned Asami and realized she yearned for the same thing…

A sudden warmth surrounded Asami as Korra wrapped her arm around her back. She pulled the engineer closer until the raven rested her head on the Southerner's bare shoulder. She took one last look at the moon before she led the older woman inside.

(-)

They sat against the fireplace, the red blanket loose around them. Korra ensured Asami was closer to the flames out of protective habit; she wanted to keep her warm and safe. It wasn't long until the two inched closer. They stared at the floor, their tea deserted. Asami leaned into Korra just enough for the Water Tribe girl to move her arm, by instinct, around the engineer. Her tan fingers played with raven hair while her other hand sought the pale one that hid under the fleece. Their palms met and refused to depart. Asami relaxed into Korra. Korra rested her chin on Asami's head. Their silence was comfortable and somehow familiar. And it was okay. Anything that was on their minds, they would discuss in the morning, when the sun brought about the start of a new day and a somewhat fresh beginning.

Until then, they unwound next to that brick mantle, whose flames had grown bright and powerful upon their melding and contact. Neither of them would deny that they felt it, too, but not from the burning logs. It was from hidden, uncharted territory; an area they each attempted to explore and embrace. They closed their eyes and exhaled in content at the same time.

Their presence was enough. And for once in what seemed like too long of a time, they were at peace again on an individual basis, and the world around them faded into a deep sleep.

(-)

Korra awoke in the middle of the night. It was a slow awakening, like the steady slide of a drop of rain against a window during a storm. She cracked her eyes open with a hushed groan on her lips. The fire had died out to embers and the harsh cold made its way through the chimney. There was a dull ache throughout her body, brought on from a combination of her injuries, her fatigue, and her position. Asami was curled in a shivering sleep, half across her chest and the other half against the floor. Their fingers, she noticed, were still locked, though her opposing hand had travelled down to the small of the engineer's back in her slumber. She pulled the woman closer to her in as gentle a motion as she could; she did not want to disturb her. The Southerner removed most of the blanket from her body and wrapped it around Asami's in an attempt to warm her. She stirred, but didn't wake, and in time, her shaking stopped. Korra smiled and caressed the older woman's hair until her lids met and sleep returned to her.

(-)

Asami fluttered back to the real world about an hour later. There was a pain in her back and her feet were too cold for comfort. The rest of her was warm, though she wasn't sure how. She shifted until she recognized the source of heat beneath her. The engineer's eyes flew open, but her heart was steady.

This wasn't a bad thing.

At least, not for all of her. Her spine on the other hand… She twisted and moaned to stretch the tense muscles. Her movements roused Korra and she awoke with another groan.

Sleepy eyes met sleepier ones. They communicated through their stares. Korra pushed herself to her feet and helped Asami do the same. Their groggy gazes met the couch at the same time. They stumbled over, the blanket still covering different parts of each woman. The Water Tribe girl lowered herself onto the couch with care and beckoned for Asami to follow with a wave of her hand. She did just that. They fit their bodies on the small red sofa with ease. Korra pulled the pelt from around her waist and placed it around the engineer before throwing the fleece around the both of them.

Korra wrapped her arms around Asami's hips. It was her favorite spot when she was drowsy and unaware of her actions. Asami pushed her back against Korra's front and settled. If they weren't so tired, their faces would be on fire and they would be scurrying away out of embarrassment. The younger woman nuzzled her face into the engineer's shoulder while her pale hands held the tan ones across her abdomen. Words were not needed, nor were they welcome. Words were the mind's way of trying to convey emotions in an intellectual, articulated matter. But that's not what either of them wanted. They were sick of words. Sick of thoughts. Sick of travesties. Sick of the world. At least for this night. So they did what the voices had been telling them to do all along: just feel.

They were simple in this position. They were content. They were exhausted.

Soon enough, they were asleep once more and would remain that way until sunrise.