AN: This came earlier than I expected. I'm so happy about that too. Now I am experiencing a slight problem with the plot of this story. It's not going haywire. However, it is straying to another possible story that even fits with the title so perfectly. I am unsure which idea to choose, and I would like some ideas. Please remember this while you are reading. I'd like for you to read my note at the end of the story. Now enjoy my most likely last day of updating for a month. I'll miss you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardfight! Vanguard.

A Living Lie

Chapter 5: Visitors ll

"...Kai-kun, are you feeling better?" Aichi's voice sounded more nervous and uncertain than usual.

Now why was that? Because Kai couldn't exactly follow up with his plan. The brunet kept fidgeting with his hands, not bothering to hide it at all. Even Katsuragi noticed from the perplexed expression he was giving. He couldn't help it. Having four people stare at you while you're ill was not a very comfortable feeling.

Or so it was not to Kai. He wasn't sure what the normal reaction was. All he knew was that whether if it was only his best friend or the others, he would still be uncomfortable.

However, the injured male was not fidgeting because he was nervous that he was being watched. No, it was irritation. Having four people stare at him made Kai realize how much he wanted to move and walk somewhere. The level of hate for hospitals just kept rising.

"Kai, you look tense."

Said boy turned his head up in slight surprise. He hadn't expected Tokura to speak. Was that concern in her eyes? Kai lowered his eyes with a grimace. Pity and concern came left and right. The teen had never really gained any pity or concern (aside from Miwa when it came to concern). Naturally, one would expect him to be happy. Except he was not natural, and by no means was he happy.

It was fake. Humans act what they consider normal, so they won't feel odd or in this case, guilty. Normal was to show concern when someone you know is hurt. Normal was also to be grateful for the concern the people were kind enough to show.

Again, Kai was not normal. He did NOT like false pity or concern. It was simply a show of empty affection. The brunet almost smiled.

How can I talk? Everything about me is fake.

Mentally shaking his head, Kai tried to keep his emotions at bay. They could be dealt with once he was alone. For now, he had to deal with his visitors. He supposed he should answer. Tokura was never someone he disliked anyway.

"I'm fine," Kai murmured, stopping his hands from fidgeting any further. He absently wondered if they would think it weird on how empty and low his voice sounded. His half opened eyes weren't helping either. Absently, he wondered for the first time since he awoke, how did he look like? But the thought was not dwelled upon. Looks were never a concern for him. Being hospitalized didn't deter him from that feeling in the slightest; it actually encouraged it.

"I see," Tokura nodded in reply to his subtle answer, though the hesitance in her voice could be heard loud and clear.

His eyes kept on his lap, Kai resisted the strong urge to move his hands once more. When did he start to dislike the presence of silence? Oh right. When people would stare at him as if he wasn't aware. The hand on his lap slowly moved up to his face, lightly brushing away the brown locks even though they fell back into place. He needed to control his emotions. Remain calm. And hopefully hold his tongue. Shockingly, he was on the verge of just telling them all to leave. In a way that he would most certainly regret.

Maybe his sanity already left because his mind was coming up with different, out-of-character ways for them to get the heck out of the room and let him kill himself with all the stupid questions! The ideas were only motivated when another visitor decided to speak.

"Kai."

Great. The hand massaged his temples. Miwa wanted to talk. His eyelids clamped shut.

Just keep quiet. Why is this so hard?!

"Who was that man?" Miwa finally spoke. He was sitting where Kai's uncle had sat. Misaki sat beside him while Aichi and Kamui stood next to them.

The green-eyed boy frowned, having opened his eyes but still looked down. Man? His uncle? How long were they waiting outside of the room? Did they hear anything? Kai sighed silently, trying to relax. Too many questions. He may give himself a headache in the end. Not like that would change much.

"Why does he take so long in answering?" Kai heard Kamui whisper to the others but did not raise his head.

"The doctor said his mind may be a little slow." Miwa's voice sounded grim.

"But that won't be forever, right?" Aichi asked frantically.

"Hopefully."

Keep talking. Said person was not even in the room. Go ahead and tell a few shocking secrets while you're at it.

Why did they come if they were just going to speak about him? Kai was in an irritated mood, and he felt his patience slipping like ice on a hot summer day. Yes, he knew his mind thought slowly. The doctor had told him it will be like that for a little while. Although, he did say that there was a chance it could be permanent.

It was a very low chance, so there was no reason to be concerned about that. And yet they kept whispering about it right next to him. His mind was slow, but nothing had happened to his ears. Something was happening to his mood though.

Kai had enough. It didn't matter what they knew about his family now. Frankly, the brunet just wanted to have some time alone to calm down and figure out what was wrong with him.

"He's my uncle." He hadn't raised his voice, but he did meet their eyes. Why did they looked so shocked? Did he look that bad?

"That was your uncle?!" Kamui exclaimed but immediately looked sheepish. He received glares from Misaki and Miwa which quickly turned into concern looks as their attention reverted back to the Kai.

The frustrated teen had involuntarily winced at the volume of the black-haired boy's voice. He hadn't heard anything loud for awhile that it seemed to be deafening. But he was more intrigued why Katsuragi had sounded so surprised.

"Yes. Why?" His dead voice slightly surprised himself. Slightly. He hardly felt anything right now. Only interest. The irritation was no longer there. For the moment.

"Because—" Kamui abruptly stopped when he received another icy glare from Misaki.

Kai had half a mind to raise an eyebrow and inquire more. The other half just thought to leave it as it was pointless. He accepted the latter.

"Your uncle is cold," Miwa deadpanned, surprising everyone in the room.

Everyone except Kai. The brunet found this amusing, and he was about to be blunt in turn about how there were worse people out there. Two in particular. But the rational part quickly took over.

What is wrong with me? Kai thought in horror, his eyes widened as he grit his teeth. That was it. They needed to leave. He needed to be alone. But glancing at Miwa and the others from the side of his eyes, he couldn't see that happening. Miwa wanted answers. The blond wanted Kai to answer him. As much as Kai wanted to keep his mouth shut at the moment, he had no choice.

"Yeah, he is." Did his voice became quieter? Or was it emptier? Was there a difference? Why did he even question it at all?

"He-he's not that bad!" Kamui quickly blurted, waving his hands around sheepishly. Another glare from Misaki made him stop. He bowed his head glumly. "My bad."

Not funny. Kai didn't care what antics they did; he wanted to be alone. Somehow, he had to make them leave. How? His finger started to fidget again, fingering the bed sheet. Anxiety was building up. He felt himself getting desperate. Why did the urge to scream and—and break something feel so strong?

"This is kind of freaky," Kamui whispered to Aichi. "I mean, I know he never talks, but—"

"I want to be alone!"

The visitors froze, all wide-eyed. They were stunned to hear the once quiet patient suddenly yell.

Kamui was and Aichi were surprised that he could and did shout that loudly. However, only Misaki and Miwa heard the desperation behind his voice. In the end, they were all startled. And extremely concerned.

Kai was breathing heavily, both hands gripping his head.

Idiotidiotidiotidiot!

Why did he just say that? He couldn't make out what he was staring at. He just needed to be alone. Now.

"...Kai?" Miwa stood up and was about to place his hand on his friend's shoulder but stopped. He moved his hand back to his side reluctantly. "What's the matter?"

"Leave me alone." The voice was hoarse and foreign.

"But…" Miwa wanted to argue. He wanted to demand what had happened to his best friend to make him look so… Miwa couldn't find the word to describe the brunet's attitude. The blond didn't want to.

No one moved in the deafening silence. No one dared to break it either. They couldn't bring themselves to say anything.

Right when Kai felt he about to crack under the tension, a nurse came in to inform them visiting hours were over. Relief didn't come to the brunet though. He never looked up from his lap as he heard the others hesitantly leave. No, he felt sick.

Mentally.

The feeling was awful. He wished he could somehow rid himself of it. Just wash it away somehow. But no, life did not work that way. Or maybe it was just his life?

Kai roughly shook his head, his brown locks becoming even messier as he did so. He had enough problems, all of which kept growing the more he stayed in his little hole of self-resentment. Not now. Right now he needed to cool his mind off.

But hoping and doing were quite different. The sick teenager felt his insides twisting. It was not long before it became apparent he felt sick physically as well. Everything was a blur to him.

Then, he started laughing.

When did he last laugh? The day everything in his world had took a wrong turn. The day it was cold and raining. That time he hadn't laughed for long. Now he was not stopping.

What was the point of it all? Maybe he should commit suicide.

Laughter felt so empty. Why? Aren't people happy when they laugh? Finally he calmed down.

The nurse from before came in to ask if he was all right. Nothing else she said made sense to Kai. Something about being apologetic for the visitors or what have you. A horrible feeling entered his body, though he was too disoriented to fully be aware of it.

He had thrown up. Acid, he believed. Then he thought he saw a doctor enter the room in his spinning vision. Nothing more was known to him. He felt sick to the core.

Kai sighed as the phone call finally ended. He let his body collapse on his bed, lying supine on it. Yes, his. His bed in his apartment. Far away from the hospital. And yet, not so far away. Throwing his right arm over his eyes, he sighed again, his right hand not letting go of his phone. It had been a hassle to get off his bed and grab it when it had rung.

Now why on earth would the stoic, no-longer-hospitalized teen ever answer? Because he had one stubborn doctor nagging and nagging about his eating habits. He had LITERALLY just relaxed on his bed. It had been more than a week since his outburst. What had happened after was what the male was trying to recall before his thoughts had been interrupted by the phone call.

For some reason, his condition had gotten worse, making him stay longer. Kai couldn't remember why, nor did he try to. He instantly remembered all that he wanted to.

After the day of their visit, he had become mentally messed up. He hadn't screamed and thrashed, though the urge was strong. He had just sat still on the bed, staring with wide eyes at the same place for hours. It had kept getting worse. But when he was taken outside for fresh air, it calmed him down. The outside world had set his mind at ease. After some days had passed, he managed to go back to normal.

Normal meaning depressed. Like he was before their deaths. Yet, it was a huge relief. Kai would take depression any day if he never went through that again. Funny that he was depressed at the moment. Not as bad as before. He felt confused. And scared.

Yes, he was scared. Kai rolled to his right side. He lazily dropped his phone on the nightstand before letting his arm dangle off the bed. That feeling of madness was something he never felt before. Strangely though, it felt like it had always been there. For hours he tried to figure out why. No luck.

Sliding off the bed, his feet led him to the mirror hanging on the wall. Checking his reflection, the brunet was slightly surprised to see himself frowning with obvious worry anxiety. He was extremely anxious of what was happening to him. Turning away from his reflection, he stared at his phone that lay idly on the stand by his bed.

Hesitantly, he walked back to his bed and sat at the edge. Picking up his phone, he stared at it for a minute before exhaling and reaching into his pocket. He held a crumpled piece of paper in his hand. Swiftly dialing the number that was written before he could have a change of mind, Kai felt his body become tense.

As he waited for his uncle to pick up, the tension began to get worse. He couldn't sit still. The brown-haired male went to his window, his index finger continuously tapping his phone. Tense as he was, he nearly dropped the phone when he heard a voice.

"It's you, correct?"

"Mm… Yeah." Kai managed to find his voice, despite being on edge. He had been getting too many problems lately. When his uncle couldn't speak about it twice, that made the brunet quite concerned. His uncle wasn't hesitant in anything he did, talking least of all. If it was plain cruel, the man would frankly say it with no amount of remorse.

This only prompted the brunet to keep quiet, unsure if he should ask or not. He was saved from deciding when the man spoke.

"I heard you broke some time after I left," the man said, startling his nephew.

Kai felt himself grimace at the mention of that. Guilt had blossomed in his heart after what had occurred. He wished hadn't acted that way. He hadn't been in a state to see anyone after that, which he was both grateful and guilty for. That look in Miwa's eyes; his friend was concerned greatly.

With much effort, he moved away from these thoughts. Focus on the present. There would be plenty of time to think that over in the future.

He knew his uncle figured him out. The only relative that actually knew something about him was his uncle after all. The businessman never understood his reason to put up with THEM, but he could read him well enough. They sometimes spoke about the brunet's reasons for always acting happy around THEM before, with his uncle criticizing him coldly that he was an idiot for doing so. How it baffled the nephew he was never irked about his uncle's inconsiderate words with that topic.

"...Are you actually better?" the man's voice wasn't concerned, but it was firm. He wanted an answer. "Enough for you to hear what I have to say?"

Anxiety building up, the teen swallowed the lump in his throat. "Depends on what you say," he retorted, his voice hoarse. For a couple of minutes, he heard nothing from his uncle. Then the man sighed.

"What I have to say is not a light topic," he further elaborated, making it clear he was not speaking about it until the brunet outright told him.

The green-eyed teen bit his lip, his eyes swirling with confusion and uncertainty. Should he lie that he was fine? Or should he force himself to believe nothing was wrong? He had a bad feeling in his stomach. On a lighter note, his mind was reminded that he had eaten a small fruit salad he had made half an hour ago (only because he never wanted to go back to the hospital).

Unfortunately, he was beginning to feel sick with the anxiety build up. Not to mention he was unbelievably pale. Even more than when he left the hospital.

What should he do?

"Toshiki."

Said boy abruptly tensed even further at being called by his first name—sharply—once more. He always wondered what it would be like to have someone that cared enough to call him by his first name. Miwa was not included in this as they had both agreed to call each other by last names due to something in the past. It was too trivial to the stoic teen for him to reminisce in now. In addition to, Kai felt worse when he thought about his best friend, so he quickly shook his head away from those thoughts.

He never imagined his uncle to call him by his given name. And the stern way he said it almost made Kai think he was concerned for his nephew. For a second, the orphan felt happiness.

But only for a second. He dismissed his hopeful thoughts immediately and focused on the conversation he was having with his uncle. Later he would make sure he would mentally berate himself for ever allowing his thoughts to wander in the impossible.

"Yes?" Kai felt some tension leave when he felt angry that he couldn't hide the surprise and hesitance in his voice. At least some part of him was the same. That brought some comfort to the teenager.

"Answer honestly."

Now Kai already knew he was not normal. That had been established long ago. But did people normally feel happy when they were harshly ordered? The brunet couldn't understand it. He felt warm somehow. He knew for a fact he didn't like being ordered around. The realization came to him that his uncle was concerned for him.

Concerned.

For him.

Someone other than Miwa was actually concerned for him. The mere thought made him feel lost. He was utterly confused. It had never happened to him before, only once, and he was still sure it was his imagination. His uncle didn't care to follow the flow of the way that family members showed concern.

The adult had no obligation to ask if he was feeling all right. He could speak about the topic simply without asking at all and move on with his life, regardless if it affected his nephew's health.

Was this a dream? The brunet supposed he better answer before his uncle got impatient.

"Actually…" But his throat felt so dry and his tongue, so heavy. He had trouble grasping what was occurring.

"Hmm?"

Just lie.

Just lie like we always do, a voice whispered in Kai's head. We don't have to hear what he has to say. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

The words were considered. He always lied after all. Another one wouldn't kill him. Still, Kai debated hesitantly, I want to know.

No, we don't, the voice insisted lowly. We don't have to listen to anyone. He doesn't care. No one does, remember?

What? Kai's eyes widened, his hand almost dropping the phone. He stood completely still for a minute.

He no longer heard that voice.

The sick feeling was returning. He felt the anxiety go up once more. Why was he thinking like that? Was that even him? If so, why did his thoughts kept saying "we"? And yet...

Just lie. He is lying himself, just to hurt us.

Kai frowned wearily. The brunet supposed he was worrying himself over nothing. It sounded like his own thoughts, save the given plural. However, he didn't want to believe what he thought. Not anymore. He was sick.

Sick of living in a world of hurt.

Even if this was a dream.

Even if his uncle really was going to hurt him in the end.

He wanted to believe that someone actually cared.

So that he could stop telling lies he hated.

And maybe live in a lie that he liked.

"I..I-I don't feel so good," he mumbled, covering his eyes with the palm of his left hand. His emerald eyes were stinging. He hardly noticed his uncle's pause on the other side as he rubbed his eyes ruffly.

"Tell me where you live."

The rubbing stopped. "Huh?" was all he could managed, whether from his shaky voice or his utter shock, the boy was not sure.

"Pack whatever you want. I'm going to pick you up. You'll stay with me for some time. This way, you can ask whenever you are ready."

Green eyes were wide with shock. His arm fell limply to his side, as if it had lost all motion. His mouth was open, but not even a sound could be made.

"Tell me where you live."

The brunet found himself mumbling the directions. He didn't know when he had hung up, but he found himself on his knees, the phone carelessly dropped on the carpeted floor. Both hands were clutching his face desperately.

Kai, who had not cried for more than six years, found himself crying on his apartment floor.

He hadn't needed to see his uncle's face. It was crystal clear in the man's cold, yet knowingly warm voice.

His uncle had said all that with affection.

AN: You may have noticed the reference to the title. In all honesty, this was not what the title was for. The real problems is coming, but you know, I'm thinking maybe I could just keep it like this. Make him try to live the lie that he is loved (and he may actually be). Because the original story was—ahem—quite unsettling. There could very well be no happy ending to that. Who knows. I may make another alternate story to this. That would be fun. This chapter is at that point where I could go either way. I'll see. Enlighten me with your opinions.

Please Review! I probably won't be around for a month due to some business that needs to be attended. I will try my best to write in that time, but I may not be able to.