Author's Note: Terribly sorry about the length of this chapter, its really short because my usual chapter minimum is 2,000 words. Don't worry, soon you'll get a normal length epic chapter of doom with lots of Emma. Anyways here you go.

Warnings: This Chapter contains mentions of Figwit the elf (please look him up if you don't know him) and The Zero to Hero song form Disney's Hercules.

Disclaimer:

"What do you mean people own us?" Arthur said incredulously.

"Its true, look at your shirt." Sarah said pointing.

Arthur looked down at his red shirt to see a dark red label that read ©BBC.

"When did that get there? Sarah did you sew this onto my clothes!"

"I don't know how to sew."

"All girls sew."

"That's stereotyping!"

'Oh, no. Oh, no' Sarah said to herself. An audience with Grima Wormtounge sounded like the worst thing since global warming was discovered. 'What the hell do I do? What would he want with me? Oh, God I hope he doesn't want what he wants with Eowyn. No! That's ridiculous, I'm not a Mary-sue after all. Ha! I guess some pluses come form that then! Eeeee, still this is very very not good.'

The bearded-horse-loving guard pulled Sarah out of the cell. 'Ah! Not good!'

"No!" Arthur yelled. "What does he want with her?"

The Rohirim guard ignored him. 'Crap!' thought Sarah, as she was drug out of the cell with Arthur protesting behind her.

"You can't do this!" yelled Merlin, but he and Arthur could only watch as Sarah was taken away. Which made the Camelot residents very nervous and cross with Wormtounge.

Another guard walked by, who also had a beard because for some reason every guard in Rohan had one. Some sort of Rohan law saying every guard must have beards, all the wives were not happy about it.

"Please, don't you have any conscience? You can't take her up to that... creep! If he wants to question someone he can talk with me."

The guard looked up at him and then around the dungeon. "I don't want to see that worm hurt your friend but there isn't much I can do... unless..."

"What?" Merlin asked, standing next to Arthur.

"The Lord Eomer should be arriving today, he has no love for Wormtounge. Perhaps he can get her out but I doubt he can do anything for you."

"We'll find another way out. Just, please get her away from him." Arthur said, earnestly.

The guard nodded and walked down the Corridor in a guarding fashion.

Arthur and Merlin worried some more, Sarah had faced Orcs but could she come unscathed from a creepy slimy man?

The Guard, whose name was Hana not Hannah, sped off to see if the Third Marshall of the Ridemark had returned to see if the girl could be saved. Many times Eomer feared for his own sister who creeper man had started stalking, so he had assigned Hana to keep a look out. He climbed up some steps to look over the vast hilly hills of Rohan to see a company of riders approaching. Hana breathed a sigh of relief, there would be a chance to save the girl from creeper man and get her out of the dreary city that Edoras had become.

A while later Eomer approached the Golden Hall but not before Hana was able to speak to him.

"Lord Eomer, we have a problem." He said, stating the obvious problem that there was in fact a problem and not being more epic about it, which was lame because it would have sounded cooler if he had said Houston instead of Eomer. Sadly this fic does not have any rocket ships to make it more epic… maybe later on there will be.

"My guess that it has to do with the sneak in the Hall." Eomer said epically, bringing up the cool epicness from where Hana made it lame.

"Yes, unfortunately he has captured two men and a girl."

"A girl." Eomer cut him off. "Then he…"

"Is about to interrogate her in the hall."

"Then we have little time to lose, I shall interrupt then you must take her out of the city and hide in the ground where my fore-fathers are, I would tell you to hide in your own house but I fear he would watch the gate when he heard of her escape. I will meet you tonight and we will get the girl out of the grip of the worm." Eomer wasn't too happy about having some people hide where his dead relatives were buried but where else were they supposed to hide, it's all flat plain in Rohan! No useful forests to snoop in, just rolling hills for miles on end.

"Yes, sir." Hana said in epic soldier mode.

"Come, let us save the girl." With that Eomer and Hana marched towards the Hall, epically of course.

'No, no, no, no.' Sarah thought to herself as she was dragged up the stairs. 'What the hell do I do? Does he have contact with Saruman? Isn't Saruman in Theoden? Ew, That's gross now that I think about it. Aw, Crap I'm going to see Grima Wormtounge!'

Sarah struggled but the guard holding her merely pushed her along into the golden hall, which was more like the tarnished golden hall because it sure didn't have a goldy feel to it. The guard rudely pushed her to her knees and she looked up to see the unpleasant sight of Grima Wormtounge.
"Hi." Sarah said weakly, her insides churning.

Wormtounge sniffed. "What do you know about the oncoming events in the war and where is the ring?"

'Wow, that was direct.' Sarah thought.

"Sorry, oncoming events? What on earth are those?" Sarah said, and then realized her mistake "Middle-earth! What on middle-earth are those? I meant middle-earth, not earth. I don't know a place called earth, no and I wasn't born there either. I was born in the house of King Chuck Norris!" Panicking she looked up at Theoden. He was leering at her with eyes she was sure belonged to the immensely unpleasant Saruman.

"Does the house of Chuck Norris happen to be on your world?" Grima asked, walking over next to her.

'Ahhhh! Saruman has magical seer powers, no palantir. Oh, shoot. What do I say now?'

"Figwit." Sarah burst out suddenly

"What?" Grima asked, annoyed in his evil-weird-creepy way.

"I said, Figwit."

"What are you talking about, insolent girl."

"I'm talking about Figwit. The man who will destroy you and Saruman and all your other evil orc minion thingys."

"Who is this Figwit? One of your companions? They cannot save you now." Grima said in his special dark epic creepy voice.

"No, they are nothing against the mighty power of Figwit and soon you will grovel to his mightiness." Sarah put a very serious face on. 'Maybe this'll work! If I can scare him or confuse him! Oh God, I'm trying to scare a wizard and his scary creeper side-kick!'

"Where does this Figwit live?"

"He lives, everywhere and in everything and his best friend is Chuck Norris, who is my leader, king, and hero." Sarah said, saying Chuck Norris very slowly. "He is fire and ice, the heart of time, the bane of Britney Spears, the great avenger of... Harry Potter." 'Hey Bilbo did this! It sorta worked against a huge Dragon.'

Wormtounge was getting very confused, was this girl really the source of information that would win the war or clinically insane?

"Don't lie to me. I know you happen to know everything that is going to happen, now tell me where the ring is." he said putting his face in front of hers.

Sarah blanched and started coughing. 'EUGH, That stinks! No wonder he's called Wormtounge, although its more like he's got a dead worm in there.'

"Your Mother" Sarah managed to say through coughing. Wormtounge frowned and moved to backhand her.

*Hercules Song* "OOOOHHH YEAAA. Bless my soul, Herc was on a role. Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll...

Wormtounge yelped and fell over, Theoden-Saruman jumped, and Sarah froze and her eyes went wide. 'My phone's gone off when I'm being interrogated by Grima Wormtounge? When did my phone get signal in middle-earth?'

To Be Continued

maybe

probably

hopefully

if you review much more likely