WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT VIOLENCE - but please remember it's all made up
AN: this is a short piece I've tried to experiment with the way I write ...to see how it goes... SO please can you guys give me some honest and blunt critique so I can try and get better. So I know where I'm going wrong as I know I am going wrong somewhere... but need some help and tips so this a short Chapter... also Michelle has read it but I then changed it all... so all mistakes and errors are mine.
BUT IF YOU DO READ THIS or any of my tales- THANK YOU! SAM (UR) xxx
Chapter 1 – Bad Dreams
Searing ice unlocks a burning inferno of wrath, scorching and swelling, waging war across my body. The cold steel jerks leaving its purchase, now a cavernous hole. Red, hot, crimson lava, decants, staining my shirt. Gasping, staggering, I see shock and horror mirrored on his face, disappearing so swiftly maybe I imagined it. Hope he finally sees the monster he has become flairs momentarily. Please don't let my death be for nothing, I pray naively.
Eerie laughter, bone-chilling and demonic startles me, making me jerk in alarm, delivering an agonizing jolt of pain and a shrill gasp parts my lip. Looking away from my blood-stained clothes, clenched in my vice grip, even though I knew no matter how imploringly or tightly I held it there it wouldn't halt the stream of blood saturating me. His eyes frighteningly were more alive watching me bleed out, right here in front of him, than I had ever seen. Smiling delightedly, he throws back his head and releases another terrifying laugh; petrifying me to the core, as unsympathetic shivers assault me from the surging cold enclosing throughout me.
Faint from the aroma of blood and loss of blood, I finally accept this is it; this is how I die. Finally he has killed me, except not with his words or his fists like I anticipated, but a weapon; the long, sharp blade, gleams in the light of the sun, my glistening blood smeared along it like a trophy.
The sun's reflection flickers across the jagged stainless steel, as rainbows dance around the room; in a different time, a different place, and without being marred with my blood, or in the hand of the laughing frantically man intent of watching me die tonight, I think it could be sort of beautiful.
His eyes, dancing with elation, locked back on me, as his mask which had been gradually slipping, bit by bit, as time has gone on, with every cruel word, every taunt, every slap, punch, kick, grip, grab, burn, tug, strangle, threat, every unwanted touch, every stolen act, finally fell away. Yet even when I knew he had never been the man, the boy I thought he was all those years ago, I still hoped deep down, there was a glimmer of that boy in there somewhere. Looking at him now I knew this was the real Edward Cullen, his true nature and he truly was the epitome of evil in every way possible.
Spilling to the floor, blinking, unable to focus, expensive shoes step so close, I feel the air touch my nose, as they land in front of me. I know these shoes; they have branded my skin, many times, I know every dip and mark in their tread. Marginally, turning my head weakly, I see him standing above me with that maniacal smile on his face and a malevolent glint in his eyes, watching as my breathing is becoming more laboured, with each one. I know I'm going to die at his feet just as he always promised.
"I told you, you would never ever escape me and if you tried," he sneers down at me, "I would find you and kill you, watching you take your last breath" he laughs hysterically. Kneeling beside me, he grabs my blood laden hair yanking me to my feet, angling my face, he bellows into my ear demanding I open my heavy eyes.
"You were stupid to think you, YOU…" he sneers, his lip curling with distaste, "could escape me. That I would ever let you? Did you really think I'd let you GO?" He laughs again, harder, more manically. "I'm doing you a favor hell I'm doing mankind a favour, ridding it of you. Do you really think anyone else would have you? Or that, that 'Black kid' who was always sniffing around like a dog would want you? YOU! Ha, he just never knew how fucked up you were, that's why. You were damaged goods even before you become this ugly, snivelling mess. Look at you? I can't believe I ever touched you! I should never have taken pity on you and burdened myself with such a disgusting whore. Look at you, even now" he scoffed, "on your last breath that you're hoping he will come and rescue you!" Snorting a laugh I drop to the floor as something cold and wet hits me in my face. Yelling to look at him, I want to tell him where to go for the first and last time I can't; no longer do I have the energy, the fight or the life left in me to even try. I've had enough of this life. His yelling gets louder as cold hands wrap around my neck, squeezing, fingers burn into my skin, thumbs push down, crushing the air and the remains of life out of me. I can hear his anger, feel it as spit sprays across my skin but his words are lost to me, I feel something hard hit me one last time in the face and a loud crack as I hit something hard and solid.
My last thought as my heart gives one final pump and my lungs exhale their last breath is a silent pray. That is there is a God, that he make me a ray of sunshine, a rainbow or a star, so I can shine down on my mother and Jake and Billy; that there is an afterlife, so I can feel my father's arms around me once more so I can finally tell him that I loved him and how sorry I was for being such an awful daughter.
Something hot is clamped around my hand tightly, a voice I don't know is singing softly in a language I don't understand but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I recognise. The singing stops abruptly as the heat vanishes, followed by a stifled sniffle, a restrained cry, and a heavy weight presses down on me all at once. EDWARD! Gasping, heart racing, trying to scream into the darkness as a blaring noise wails and voices echo all around me, but I can't see anything but darkness. Cool liquid rushes up my arm and silence encloses around me once again.