"Natalia Alianova Romanova, your name suggests zat you are Russian. Even zough you don't look or zound like a Russian, I thought zat you should know zat brother Pietro is fluent in ze language of Russia. And I am learnink to speak it.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?!"
"But, Madame, it ees on ze, what do you say, ze internet."
"Aarrgghh, I new I would live to regret that decision. What else do you know about me?"
"Vell... You were throwed out a vindow when you were 5, you were trained by ze KGB, you have 42 different alias, you know 12 types of martial art, you do not know who you're parents are, you were a international assassin, you were goink to be killed by ze archer dude, but he decided to date you instead, you are actually a blond, and you are plannink to dump ze archer for ze man weeth ze winks on hees helmet. Steven, yes? Um, I hope I do not offend you."
"NOOOO! MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS SECRETS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa..."
"Wanda, what happened here? Where is Natasha?"
"Vell, Mr. Bruce, she throwed herself out zat window."
"What!?"
"Zir, vat is zat?"
"It's a communicator. Thor! Fly out the window, northern side of the Tower! No questions, just do it. Fast! I'll be back, Wanda. Stay here."
"Ho...hum... I vonder vhy friend Natalia did zat odd zingk. Oh. Here zey come. My goodness! Madame, why do you bite your fellow teammate so viciously?!"
"Mrrpphhh...Thor...RARRWW...(Chomp)...caught me. Didn't want to...Letmego!...be caught. And YOU!"
"No. Nono. Aaiiieeeee! No, Not- Zo -Friendly- Natalia, cease!...'EEEEELLLPP!"
"Lady Widow, do not abuse the lady Wanda. What has she done to you?"
"Let me go, Thor! She... knows my precious secrets...She... she must be compromised!"
"Oww! Do not bite me, mortal!"
"HA HA!"
"No! Friend Natali– "
"You are going to die slowly...intimately... and I will enjo– "
CLONK!
"Oohh, zanks, Steven. She vas about to zap me and kill me, I sink."
"Well, that was kind of obvious. When I walked in, Thor was sucking on his hand, which currently has some impressive bite marks. And Natasha was standing over you, powering up her Bites. You ok?"
"...no."