Helloooo! How is everyone? This chapter a little short and probably belonged at the end of the last one but OH WELL (not really oh well i'm sorry). Thank you so much for reading and thank you Lizz for being my beta!
"Do you realize how much weight I've gained since I met you," Kurt said as they sat together on Blaine's couch a few hours after the concert, eating chocolate ice cream from the carton as Blaine's Sinatra playlist filled the room. "It's ridiculous."
Blaine plopped a spoonful into his mouth. "Can't say I've noticed."
Kurt was the first to laugh, and Blaine soon followed, unable to keep a straight face. They were both still in their dress shirt and pants, shoes kicked off and ties forgone as soon as they walked in the door.
Suddenly, Blaine was silent, his face dropping. "What's up?" Kurt asked.
"Nothing…"
"Doesn't sound like nothing." Kurt had become increasingly aware of Blaine's tone when something was bothering him.
"Just...some people talked to me while you were getting my phone."
Kurt was afraid he'd have to hunt someone down. "What did they say?"
"All good things, I guess...a lot of compliments."
"That's good, right?"
"Yeah…" Blaine sunk down into the sofa. "I know they pity me. It's not their fault they can't hide it." The corners of Blaine's mouth were struggling to turn up, until it seemed like he'd finally given up trying. "It makes me wonder whether or not I earned it...the award."
Jacob's words rang through Kurt's head: You and I both know why he got it.
"Sorry," Blaine said, straightening up. "I'm probably just tired."
"You had a big night…" Kurt swirled around the ice cream, which was just beginning to melt. "And I think you were better than all of them, especially the violinist, even I could've composed that." When Blaine's expression didn't improve, Kurt put the tub of ice cream on the coffee table. "No more ice cream."
"But Kurt," Blaine whined, reaching out for the ice cream.
Kurt stood up and swayed with the music, trying to create a way to free Blaine from the conversation and any doubts he might've had about that evening. "Dance with me."
Blaine shook his head. "I just said I was tired."
Kurt took Blaine's hand and began to pry him off the couch, trying not to laugh as Blaine made over-dramatic facial expressions.
"I'll step on your toes," Blaine protested.
Kurt bent over and whispered into Blaine's ear, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."
Blaine's lips eventually broke into a smile, and Kurt was shocked he didn't have to use more extensive measures, like tickles or kisses. Blaine stood up and dropped his spoon on the table, following Kurt out into the empty area of his living room.
Call me...irresponsible
Kurt placed Blaine's hands on his waist and put his hands on Blaine's shoulders, rubbing them gently to soothe the tension he'd built from that night. They slowly began moving side to side with the rhythm of the song, just gently rocking together in their tuxes and socks, like they'd been doing it for years.
Call me...unpredictable
Blaine pulled Kurt closer, the fabric of their dress shirts rubbing up against each other. "I'm so proud to be with you," Kurt said earnestly, moving one of his hands to the back of Blaine's neck, threading his finger through some of Blaine's hair, which was just beginning to curl. "I'm so happy I could be there tonight, front and center."
"Me too," Blaine said, moving his head tentatively forward. Seeing what Blaine was trying to do, Kurt guided their lips together and grabbed hold of the fabric of Blaine's shirt with his other hand, wishing it away but knowing he'd wait. He'd wait forever.
Suddenly, Kurt realized they'd stopped dancing and Blaine's hands were roaming Kurt's back, soon beginning to untuck Kurt's shirt.
Kurt hesitated for a moment, unsure if Blaine was ready for anything more. "What do you want?" Kurt asked between kisses.
Call me irresponsible
Yes I'm unreliable
"You," Blaine replied against Kurt's lips.
But it's undeniably true
Blaine brushed his lips against Kurt's cheek and then whispered in his ear along with the song, "I'm irresponsibly mad for you."
Kurt didn't even take a moment to collect himself, immediately going for the buttons of his own shirt first, wishing he could completely rip them off. Kurt threw his shirt on the couch, Blaine having helped him pull it off.
Blaine grazed his fingertips against Kurt's chest, feeling it bare for the very first time. Kurt watched as Blaine's face became a shade of red he really didn't know someone's face could turn, finding it both endearing and extremely attractive at the same time.
"Your heart is beating really fast," Blaine murmured before dropping his head in what looked like embarrassment. "Sorry, that wasn't-"
"Shh." Kurt pressed their lips together once again, becoming totally lost in the moment.
"Shall we, um…" Blaine gestured in the direction of Kurt's bedroom before returning his attention to Kurt's lips.
Kurt smiled into his final kiss, "We shall." He took both of Blaine's hands and led him into his bedroom, not wanting to lose any contact even for a moment.
Once they were inside, Blaine began stumbling with the buttons of his shirt. "I think it's only fair," Kurt began, undoing one of the buttons, "that the designer does the honors."
Blaine nodded and dropped his arms, allowing Kurt to unbutton and slide off the shirt. Blaine's lips parted as his breathing became heavier. Kurt wondered if this was going to be it; their special moment.
Kurt stared at Blaine's chest and arms as his muscles tensed, entranced and unable to form words as he moved his hands across the newly exposed skin.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asked when Kurt didn't say anything. The vulnerability of his voice shook Kurt for a moment, and he was brought back to reality.
"Nothing...you're just...gorgeous," Kurt said breathlessly, kissing him softly at first, but soon they'd returned to hot, open-mouthed kisses. Everything felt right.
Then, without thinking, Kurt went for Blaine's belt.
"Stop." The word hit Kurt like shattered glass and Blaine instantly grabbed his hands, causing them to freeze. "I thought- I-" Blaine's hands were shaking, so Kurt immediately pulled away. "I can't."
Kurt's first instinct was to take Blaine's hand. "Blaine, it's okay."
Blaine crossed his arms over his chest, pushing Kurt away. "Please don't be mad."
"Why would I be mad? You didn't do anything wrong."
Blaine picked up his shirt and walked over the edge of his bed, sitting as he put back on his shirt. "I'm just tired. Like you said, big night."
Kurt could sense there was more. "I don't want you to push yourself into doing something you don't want to do because you think that's what I want."
"But isn't this what you want?"
"Blaine…" Kurt sat down next to him. "Is this about what Santana said?" He remembered that she'd made comments about his sex life, and how uncomfortable Blaine seemed. "She was just joking about-"
"No she wasn't," he interrupted, already knowing what Kurt was going to say, "but it doesn't change anything."
Kurt was caught off-guard, and he wondered how much Santana had told him at the party. There were many things Kurt had left out from the stories about his past, specifically things about his ex, for very good reason.
"Did you love him?" Blaine asked, so quietly that Kurt almost had to ask him to repeat the question. But as soon as Kurt figured out what Blaine was trying to ask, a small gasp escaped his lips.
Blaine hastily started buttoning up his shirt. "I'm sorry, that's none of my business."
"No, it's fine I…" There was a long period of silence as Kurt thought through what he wanted to say. "I thought I did," Kurt said honestly. "But I'm not so sure anymore."
Kurt could tell Blaine was trying to hide a smile. "Why is that?"
"The more I think about it the more I feel like I might've just been in love with the idea of being in love. I haven't even heard from him since he broke off our engagement after three weeks and moved to California with some photographer."
"He sounds like an asshole," Blaine muttered.
"He was." Kurt had avoided relationships for so long because of him, and even now, he felt like he wasn't totally healed. Kurt tentatively took Blaine's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm sorry I ruined the night."
"In no way did you ruin the night." Kurt wanted to ask if his apprehension was about more than just wanting his first time to be special, but he didn't want to make things worse. "I want you to know that no one has ever done something for me like what you did for me tonight."
Kurt watched as Blaine reached out and ghosted a hand over his chest, which was still bare. "Well…" As his confidence returned, Blaine brushed his fingertips across Kurt's shoulders, and then his neck, until he found his lips. "Thank you," he whispered, replacing his fingertips with his lips before touching their foreheads together, "for being my inspiration."
"I'm honored to be your muse."
Blaine gave Kurt one final kiss before pulling away, letting out a yawn. "Shit," he muttered, standing to his feet and walking from the room.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, following him.
Blaine felt around the table for his spoon and, without hesitation, shoved it into the box of ice cream still on the table. "It isn't totally melted," he said, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Figures, considering the temperature you keep this place." Kurt shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and scanning the room for his shirt. "Just as a general rule, never sing to me unless you want my clothes off."
Blaine broke into a laugh, and Kurt was happy to see his bashful smile once again. "I'll keep that in mind."
As the evening drew to a close, Kurt couldn't help but feel that there was too much left unsaid in the bedroom. Blaine had a guard up that was growing stronger with each passing day. But if Blaine's tired smile told Kurt anything, the time wasn't right just yet, and tonight wouldn't be the night Kurt broke through it.
Thank you for reading! Reviews keep me going and I'm really going to try to get the next one out soon. #ProcrastinationIsNotKey