Author's Note.
Thank you all for the reviews, your response to this story is kind of amazing. I'm hoping that this chapter answers a few of your questions.
Chapter Seven.
Hermione was still having trouble adjusting to being the future Mrs. Malfoy, in fact a large part of her absolutely loathed the idea. Married as a teenager, and from looking over the marriage agreement she would be expected to provide the Malfoy family with an heir within three years of marriage. She was still glaring at it from where it was placed on the borrowed desk of Professor McGonagall as she waited for Narcissa Malfoy to join her for evening tea. It was Wednesday, the night before the full moon and she knew that downstairs Draco was speaking with her father and Remus about his wolf.
Sirius' confession about his fears for her in the marriage had left Hermione feeling both anxious and numb all at once. She didn't know what to think about it, the only werewolves she had ever met were Remus, who had been so as a child and treated his other half with abject fear and Greyback, who had gone insane. She had been hoping that Greyback was a rare case and not the norm for such things but now she wasn't so sure. She would need to research, but what would she even look for? Most of what was written on werewolves was utter drivel designed to keep little children cowering in their beds at night.
No Hermione would have to find more information from a reliable source, after she figured out why she needed to bathe in lilies to ensure fertility. Half of what was needed for that were restricted items and the idea of collecting acromantula venom to bathe in was repulsive. She honestly didn't know what her Grandmothers intentions were, but she refused to comply with half of this list. If she could Hermione would have refused the entire thing, but according to Molly and Sirius some of it was there for her benefit.
"Miss Black, thank you for agreeing to see me at such short notice." Hermione was startled out of her thoughts as Narcissa Black seated herself on the other side of the desk, looking graceful and elegant if a little pale. Her navy blue robes made her seem even paler, or maybe that was the lighting in the room. Hermione noted that she moved gingerly but elegantly and couldn't help but wonder what had happened to make the Lady Malfoy to seem so out of sorts.
"It is no problem, Mrs Malfoy, although I must admit I am a little unsure as to why you wished to speak with me so soon. Your son and I have not even spoken to arrange any of the details of the wedding."
"You have not spoken to My Draco since the eve of your birthday Miss Black, something that I find quite distressing. Minerva ensured that you were a diligent young woman who knew the weight of duty and responsibility and yet you have not even sent one note to my son. He will be indisposed this weekend so I will speak with you this night. Should you have any other queries this weekend requiring immediate response do not hesitate to contact Lucius, after all he helped draw this contract up, he knows it better than any other I imagine." Narcissa helped herself to the tea that had appeared before them, adding no sugar to sweeten the taste. She noted with some satisfaction the flush to Hermione's cheeks and noted that Draco had been correct, Hermione would be easy to tease.
"Mrs. Malfoy I am not the only one within this marriage and should Draco have wished to have spoken to me before today I would have thought he would have done so should the desire had struck him. Considering that he has just had to end a relationship with Daphne this weekend past, I thought I was giving him space to adjust to the new situation, if I was wrong then you and he have my apologies. I will not consider that either of you are sentimental in the future." Hermione cursed that she had told Sirius and McGonagall that she would not need them, clearly Narcissa had just chosen to use this evening to prick at Hermione for weak spots.
Hermione knows her cheeks are flushed as she wills herself to calm down and not glare at the woman across from her. She squeezed her hands to stop them from shaking from nerves and anger as she reaches across to make herself a cup of tea. The silence is thick in the air as the two women moves things around, they both eye each other silently. Hermione thinks over the urge to mention that she would never, not even on pain of death turn to her or her husband for help. They had watched her sister torture her and Hermione still suffered effects from the Cruciatus curse. Her left arm still spasms on occasion, after effects from the poisoned blade used to carve the word "mudblood" into her skin. Hermione closes her eyes and counts to ten, holding her left arm to her, panic attacks however are the worst after effect from what Bellatrix did to her.
When she opens her eyes she meets the pale grey eyes of Narcissa's and fleetingly she sees sympathy and regret swimming within their depth. Hermione ignored it, she didn't want anything from Narcissa, apologies wouldn't change what she and her family had done to her, wouldn't erase the damage from everything Bellatrix did to her. Hermione is surprised at how calm her voice is when she talks again. "Mrs. Malfoy I am not sure what you had hoped to gain from insulting me, especially after everything you and your family has done to me and to those that I loved.
"Harry kept you and your family from a lifetime of rotting in Azkaban, but that is him, not me. Considering that you have only recently been allowed to carry a wand again following your activities in the war I don't think you have a leg to stand on when you make disparaging comments about my person. I was told that ladies of good breeding were raised to have manners, although clearly the Black family was lacking in those lessons. Lucky for you, the Grangers raised me better than that."
Narcissa raises one eyebrow at Hermione over her tea cup, her only reaction to Hermione's words is a slight tightening of her fingers around the cup. "Let me tell you a story, Hermione". She holds her hand up and her eyes sharpen, a sudden sternness there that wasn't there a second before. "No interruptions, Severus has mentioned on occasion that you lacked a certain patience, but you will listen to me." She puts the cup down and a slight wince of pain crosses her features, leaning back in the chair and crosses one ankle in front of the other.
"Nineteen years ago I was pregnant for the seventh time after losing six children, four before they were born and two, two were delivered stillborn into my arms as my husband sobbed brokenly beside me. He didn't want to try again, each loss was slowly tearing us apart, carving a deeper hole between us but I had fallen pregnant yet again. Lucius in his grief gave into his father's dying wish and joined with other pureblood families, supporting the coming of a new order that the Dark Lord had promised. The further along my pregnancy went the more alone I felt, until one night I woke to find my husband in the nursery we had decorated so eagerly after marrying. He was covered in blood and a black serpent tattoo on his arm.
"It was vivid against his pale skin and my husband was sickly pale, his hand clenched around a green baby blanket and it shook. He was drunk, the fire-whiskey reeked as he stumbled around the room, he told me he didn't want the baby, didn't want another disappointment, he didn't want any child of his to be used as a weapon against him. My husband proceeded to smash all the ornaments and destroyed the crib in a rage. I didn't recognise him in that rage and had Severus not been home I fear what that rage would have driven him to do." She looked at Hermione then, and a sea of emotions were evident in her gaze. "Yes Severus was staying at the Manor, he was good man and a dear friend, and he helped me stay calm and healthy enough to carry Draco to term. After that night I was on bedrest, forbidden by a man I had never met to stand and risk my unborn child. House-elves were suddenly assigned to see to my every need and my sister Bella whom I had not seen in two years was suddenly back in my life.
"I was now a prisoner in my own home and fanatics of this dark lord passed through it as and when they pleased. Him being there was not my choice and no one cared to know my opinion. I was a brood mare, of little consequence and my husband was no longer the man I had married. Thoughts of my baby were the only thing that got me through those months. Severus delivered my Draco because I refused the healers entry to my rooms and I was not permitted to leave them. Nineteen hours I spent screaming in pain as a stranger sat in the corner as I birthed Draco.
"His eerie red eyes and snake like features terrified me and everyone told me I should be honoured to have him witness my child's birth. Before I even saw my Draco he was handed into that man's hands and he crooned in a language I didn't know, he walked back and forth and acted as though he was the father meeting his child for the first time. It took Draco crying for food before he was passed to me and I sat in terror the whole time, Severus not Lucius telling me to stay calm and not anger this man. It wasn't until he left that I was told who he was and Severus told me the prophecy of a chosen one that would one day bring down the dark lord, his fears because of who the Dark Lord thought that chosen one would be."
Narcissa took a deep breath, the only sign that gave of her discomfort of reliving that story. "Lucius was kept away from the manor from me until after the Dark Lord was presumed dead after failing to kill the Potter babe. Draco was sixteen months old, only a little older than that child and everything in me ran cold at the thought of someone, anyone daring to harm my child. It took years to rebuild my marriage to Lucius after that, a condition of which was that he never, ever goes looking for that man. I did not want him near my child because I feared what he would do." She laughed, and it was so bitter it reminded her of Sirius when he had just left Azkaban, a sharp sound that seemed to cut to her soul. Hermione swallowed hard as Narcissa began to talk again.
"Then a few years ago at dinner, that brand that had been faded on his arm for nearly fourteen years burned black and Lucius looked up at me with fear apparent in his eyes. He told me if he did not go we would be hunted down as traitors and killed. Believe what you will about my husband Hermione, but he loves his son, his deepest regret is losing that first year with him, of not seeing him grow. At least it was, now it is that he was in Azkaban when the dark lord came for his son, gave him a death sentence. When his orders that my son kill Dumbledore didn't kill him he decided to hand him over to Fenrir Greyback."
She stood then, so abruptly that Hermione gasped and she took off robe to reveal the pale green blouse beneath it, along her right arm are deep scars, defensive as though she had used it shield herself and the left arm, at her elbow joint shows a savaged bite, as though some large predator had worried at it, tried to tear her arm off. "They had Bella distract me as they tried to kill my son in the dungeon of my house. I ran into that room to see my son's broken body being thrown around like a rag doll as a full grown werewolf used him as a chew toy. He tried to kill me too, but I cursed that wretched beast, a slicing hex that almost killed the dark lord's pet monster, and if Bella hadn't stopped me I would have killed him for touching my son. As it was, Fenrir lost certain appendages to that curse. I spent a week at my son's bedside tending his wounds willing him to live. It wasn't Azkaban that broke my Husbands spirit Hermione, it was returning from that hell to find his son on his death bed and his wife now a werewolf. Even my wolf, my other half recognises Draco as my son, it is as though she was always with me and remembers everything I went through to bring that boy into this world alive. I did not stopped Bellatrix from harming you, this is true, and because I decided that my son's life was worth more to me than yours. Give me the choice again and I will make the same one every time. He is my child, the only one I will ever have, so you will have to understand two things.
"Firstly, I will always choose my son over anyone or anything. I am not a blind naïve fool, I do not believe in a greater good, because the greater good has been the cry of every dictator I have ever heard of. They use it as a battle cry to swarm ranks to their cause, and these foolish people who swarm to it are nothing but fodder for the butcher's blade. Secondly, I understand you have every reason to hate my family, a part of me even commends you for that hatred. However, should you choose an action that harms my son, or the future grandchildren you are sure to bestow upon my family, sacrificing yourself or them for some foolish notion of heroics or the greater good, I will make sure not only do you lose them, but that you live a long and miserable life in which to regret it. I will not let you die, that would be a kindness, no I will make you live with the misery that such actions cause."
Hermione swallows hard and suddenly she sees something in Narcissa's eyes to make her miss Bellatrix. Bella would just kill her but something tells me Narcissa would be a far worse enemy than her lunatic of a sister. Hermione looks down at the scars on her own arms and she wonders what Narcissa thinks when she looks at the ones on her own arms. Clearly she didn't regret her actions, and Hermione wondered if she saw them as badges of honour, like some women see the stretch marks from carrying their children. It wasn't something the media encouraged, anything short of perfection was to be challenged and corrected but Hermione couldn't help but think the scars made Narcissa more beautiful, because they showed not just that she was a survivor but that she chose family over everything and Hermione couldn't help but wonder what that felt like.
She looked up and met Narcissa's heavy gaze and nodded, showing that she understood what Narcissa was saying and that she meant it. "I have a question" Hermione almost stutters over the word, more intimidated and yet calmer now that she knew where she stood with Narcissa. "Yes…" she states, neither encouraging nor reproachful. Hermione swallows hard and looks up at the woman before her. "Remus calls his wolf Moony, I don't have a right to ask, but what do you call yours?" Narcissa looks at her and for the first time a real smile lights up her whole face, revealing what Lucius must have seen when they fell in love with one another. "I am a Black by birth and a Malfoy by marriage, surely you can guess what name I would choose." She pauses and her smile grows, her eyes glowing amber instead of grey "Lupa, she calls me Lupa."