The Doctor leaned against the TARDIS console, plastering on a fake smile when he heard two familiar voices. He looked up and watched the laughing pair enter the room. "Hey Doc!" Jack smiled and jumped over to him. "Captain." The Doctor nodded then looked to Martha, "Morning Martha, sleep well?" He asked, watching her nod.
"Where are we headed?" Martha asked.
The Doctor shrugged and started to flick a few switches as he ran around the console, forcing excitement into his voice. "I was hoping to put the TARDIS on 'Random so we would get quite a surprise with where she wants to take us." He placed his hand on the glass cylinder of the console, slowly caressing it, as the machine took flight.
The box landed somewhere, sometime. The Doctor grabbed his coat off of the pillar he had last thrown it on. He slipped it over his shoulders and opened the door, poking his head out. He saw what looked to be present day London, but he saw something that made his breath catch in his throat.
The TARDIS had parked herself in an ally that stood right outside the familiar flats. He knew she must have either been feeling his emotions or taking notice of his dream. He drew in a shaky breath feeling Jack's on his neck. "Why are we here?" The former time agent asked.
The Doctor shrugged as his eyes wandered to where there was another TARDIS parked. It looked exactly like his and was where he would usually land his box when he was in his last regeneration. What happened next left a horrid pit of fire burning in his hearts. He watched his old face pull Rose out of the TARDIS, holding her hand. His leather jacket wearing self pulled the blonde all the way out of the box. They talked for a few seconds before Rose skipped away towards her home. The ninth Doctor smiled and stood in his place for a few seconds before noticing a sign flap in the wind. He looked the paper over before springing in the direction of the flat.
The Doctor took a step out of his box. He had felt the memory reawaken as he watched the scene unfold. He heard Jack and Martha shuffle out after him. "Why were you over there? In your past regeneration?" Jack looked him straight in the eye. The Doctor looked at the ground. His fingers clenched into a fist, before breaking the position. "Crossing my own time stream." He whispered, walking further into London, 2005.
Martha looked at the Doctor. She couldn't help but place all of the emotions he had been feeling. His face may have been blank, but his eyes were just a gateway to his soul. She watched the volcano erupt, causing the lava made up of pain and sadness, mix together and slowly drip down the side fear. She felt herself trying to hide away her own fear, considering that she had never seen the alien like this.
The Doctor placed his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes. With as loud as Jackie had shouted he expected to hear it outside. He chuckled softly, sadly even as he opened his eyes, remembering. He felt one of his hearts ache for Rose, while the other fought for the right. He knew he could approach either himself of his former companion. No matter how much he fought himself, he would never be able to see her again.
Jack looked at the Doctor. "Doctor...if we're crossing your own time steam, then why are we still here?" He could tell that the time lord was in emotional pain, but he decided to stick with the facts. He knew a lot about the wibbly-wobbly effects of time.
The Doctor nodded slowly. He turned around and reentered the TARDIS. He took several paces in and placed his hands apon the console. He blinked, he wasn't supposed to let this bother him so much. "Right then!" He forced another smile as he stood up straight. He turned on his heels and watched Jack close the door behind him and Martha. "Anywhere specific?"
Jack had suggested heading to Cardiff, present day. The Doctor accepted the idea. All he said was so we could have a normal, relaxing day, but the alien knew he wanted to visit Torchwood again.
The three walked over to the tall tower. "I had a feeling you were dragging us here." The Doctor turned to Jack who was chuckling softly. "I just need to check up on the team." Jack led the way into Torchwood through the tourist entrance. He pressed a button behind the desk, which made the wall move and reveal the actual Torchwood Hub.
The day passed on with everyone chatting and laughing, as well as checking up on aliens. The three of the TARDIS met up with Captain Jack's Torchwood team, which led them to sitting around the Conference tables and discussing travels and planets.
The Doctor, Martha, and Jack now rested in the TARDIS. All were in their separate rooms, asleep, except the Doctor. He couldn't shake the feeling of the previous nights dream, or the sadness that had washed over him when he saw Rose again. He paced his room, still wearing his brown suit. He drew in a breath that felt uneasy within him. He knew that his 'dream' from last night, wasn't in fact a dream, but a vision. He couldn't control himself as he walked into the bathroom, took the knife off of the counter, having no idea how it got there in the first place, and began to slit his wrist.
The tears dripped out of his eyes as he choked back a sob. The blood dripped from the wounds he had inflicted apon himself. Five. Five simple, clean, precise cuts he had made in his skin. He couldn't take the feeling of life surviving within him, yet some of him still fought back for the right of living. Half of him knew he was already dead, a walking skeleton, yet the other half fought for life, slowly failing.
The Doctor washed the blood out of the sink, and off the knife. He walked out of the bathroom and collapsed on his bed, trying to escape it all.