Chapter 6

I was distraught after my encounter in the river with Eric. He felt so good and so wrong at the same time. All I felt I could do now was show Eric I wasn't going there again.

This time I wouldn't have to avoid his company because he was leaving with the men to adventures beyond our island. I knew from my sight that he would return before the year was out but at least it would give us the space we needed to move on. The sadness in his eyes hurt my insides and I didn't feel I could bare much more.

Two days later I watched my brother leave us without saying good bye. I had intended to see him off but when I got to the docks he had already taken his place among the men aboard. I would miss him but I would be distracted by my new sister and planning my trip to the mainland. I did wave though even if he didn't acknowledge it. Astrid and I stood together waving like idiots to no avail.

After the last snow was gone a few months later I was ready to head to the mainland. I was told I could go for two whole days! I was so happy. I would get to know Bjorn better and hopefully we would hit it off. Some of then men who stayed behind had packed a boat for me and readied us for the journey leaving me to pack my best clothes.

When I was done I played with Drott a while and kissed her cheeks telling her, "I will be back for you soon my love." And I hoped that it was true. Astrid held me before I headed for the boats, "My beautiful girl I will miss you." She said hugging me tightly.

"Yes! Come back with a proposal my dear!" Ulfrick said smiling widely and patting my shoulder. This gave Astrid a sad look as it normally did but she smiled through it. "Be safe child." And I was sent off to my adventure.

The sea was calm and the sun shined down upon us. I thought it would be a good sign of what was to come. But then it always seemed a sunny day, even when it snowed.

We arrived by night fall to a large village by the sea. We were greeted with music and Bjorn and his family to show us to their home.

"Ah finally we meet dear!" A woman said taking my hand in hers. She was beautiful with long dark hair and bright green eyes like Bjorn. "You must be tired? We will take you to our home for some supper yes?" She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me along the mud path towards their home.

Bjorn smiled to me but said nothing, allowing his mother to take charge. They brought me to a large house situated right next to the sea. It looked as if every other home and business was built around this one building.

It was beautiful. "Show her to her room Bjorn. I am sure Oliivi would like to unpack and settle in before we feast." His mother said, releasing me to her son.

He smiled to me again, "Yes of course mother." And took me towards my room. "How was you're journey?" He asked placing his hand to the middle of my back and leading into the room.

"Wonderous. I look at the sea everyday where I live but to be amongst it that way was magical." I answered looking around the room. He only nodded. Maybe I should listen in? I thought to myself. He seemed so quiet this time.

Maybe the drink had brought out a more confident side at my birthday? Was he shy? Men really were baffling to me at times. Facing away from him I walked to the window and looked out at the view. While I did so I opened my mind to his thoughts.

'Maybe this time will be nicer. Maybe this time her brother won't try to tell me off.' My eyes widened at this. My brother must have had words with Bjorn while I was at home in bed? 'Gotta get her away from my mother.'

I laughed a bit and turned back to him, "Maybe tomorrow we could take a walk? I would love to see more." I said walking back towards him and taking his hand, "Only if you want to?" I finished staring into his green eyes.

"Yes that could be arranged." He said bowing his head a bit, "For now though I must leave you to settle in. I will see you at dinner." He was definitely nervous! He spoke quickly and left the room while I just stood there wondering what the hell was going on.

After supper I was sent back to my room for sleep which came quickly.

I dreamed of the day with Eric at the river, his hands all over me. I remembered the feeling that came over me from his mouth like it was happening to me again and again. Even if I could stop the dream I didn't have the heart to. I just let it happen, watching him stare back at me. With the dream came the sadness that lingered after I turned him down. But I deserved to feel it all. I would endure the pain over and over if only to feel the way I did when he touched me. Loved.

But I woke up as usual and had to go on with the choices I had made. Sighing I stood from the bed and dressed in my finest green tunic, showing an abundance of cleavage. I wore a silver chain and my silver circlet atop my braided hair. The dress had no sleeves so instead I chose a fur Eric had given me to stay warm. Bundling myself up I headed out to meet Bjorn. He waited for me with his family at their table.

He had three younger brothers who I met the night before who were there with him. They were nice enough. I found their thoughts confused and a little bit in the gutter but most men's thoughts were that way so I shrugged it off as normal.

Bjorn came to my side instantly, "A walk before breakfast?" He asked putting his arm out for me to take.

"Yes lets do that." I said entwining my arm in his. He led me out into the wooded paths along the sea.

"So you're father said you enjoy a good sword fight?" He asked.

I laughed at this, "Yes my brother and I have sword fights often enough. Although these days not so much. I practice with his men while he is away though." He was definitely not aware it had been Eric teaching me.

"You're brother taught you to fight with a sword?" He asked bewildered.

"Yes of course. Why? Is that strange?" I asked him.

"Well yes of course it is. If I had a sister I would not train her to fight. Women shouldn't fight. As men it is our job to protect our women." He said matter of factly.

This bothered me, but there some men among others who did not agree.

"If a woman wishes to fight why can she not learn?" I asked calmly, "If the men are gone then shouldn't we learn to fight to protect ourselves?" I pressed on.

The path we followed came to a large beach that looked out towards my home. I let go of his arm and sat against a rock.

"We wouldn't leave or women defenseless." He said, looking to me like I was nuts.

I just smiled, "Yes well, men know all don't they." He said nothing more of the subject.

"I didn't mean to upset you Oliivi. I just feel strongly that I could protect you." He said taking my hand in his.

Protect me? Why would he need to protect me? I looked at him this time with questioning eyes, "Why would you protect me? I have a strong family who can protect me." I said back.

"I meant if you stayed here." He said coming a bit closer to me against the rock.

"And why would I stay here?" I asked him. I couldn't stay here. I loved it but I had to admit after only a short day I missed my home.

"I would ask you for your hand in marriage." He said taking my chin in his other hand and lifting my face to his. "If you would have me?" He added bringing his lips to mine in a short tender kiss. I had to say it wasn't heart stopping.

I let him take my neck and pull me closer hoping the feeling would pass. He was definitely enjoying it, I could tell because he was pressing his pelvis against me and I could feel his hardness there. I placed my hand to his chest pushing him away softly, "Stop for a moment." I asked, "I think we should talk Bjorn."

He staggered back a bit and just looked at me with confusion, "Talk about what?" He asked.

"Well you just asked me to marry you. We should talk about that!" I was getting frustrated. I had been asked to marry two men this week and I just needed it to slow the hell down.

"What is there to talk about Oliivi? Our parents would benefit greatly from our marriage and I thought we could as well?" He said acting as if that was a good enough reason.

"I would not marry a man because it benefited my father! It may be normal for you're parents to force marriage on you here but with my father it is not!" I raised my voice enough that he would be sure of what I said.

He moved close to me again, "Do not take me for a fool Oliivi. I would not be asking you to marry me if I didn't wish to marry you." He said coming in to kiss me again.

This time my hand flew back up to his face stopping him, "That is all well and good but I may not wish to marry you." I said stepping away from the rock he had me trapped against. "I thought of you as an option but I cannot say I still feel that way Bjorn. We clearly feel strongly about differing subjects. And I certainly will not be married and moved away from my family." I said loudly this time.

"You mean you won't move away from Eric!" He yelled at me.

"What? Why would you even think that? I have given you no reason to think that!" I said hurriedly. This was not a subject I wished to discuss. Why couldn't everyone just back off about him.

"You have! He has! He is you're brother!" I just couldn't form words now without sounding like a dolt.

"He has? What did he do that would make you think this way?" I asked wondering what the hell Eric had said to Bjorn.

"He told me to stay away. He told me you were already another mans bride." He said angrily.

"Wha- why would he say that? I am no others!" I yelled again. "It doesn't matter anyways because now I am sure I do not wish to marry you!" He was pissed now pacing back and forth in the sand.

"I could give you everything!" He said in an angry whisper.

"I do not wish to have everything if that everything does not include my family." I thought I had made myself very clear on that.

"Fine! I wish to take you back now. If I am meant to spend another day around you I think I would be sick!" He said grabbing my arm and dragging me back to the village. It rained the rest of the time I was there.

To say the rest of my stay had gone bad would be an understatement. I assumed he had told his family of our talk by the sea and they acted coldly to me the rest of the two days I was there.

It was a relief to leave them and board the boat towards home. I hoped Ulfrick wouldn't be to upset that I wasn't marrying the Jarl's son. But he really did surprise me by being a huge jerk face! When he had kissed me I felt nothing other then discomfort and the need to escape him.

I found him attractive but it wasn't a huge feat for him at all if he made me feel nothing for him. That worried me as well having felt so strongly when Eric kissed me. I never had felt anything to strong in my short life here then what I had with Eric.

I wondered if that was it for me. If I would love again? Maybe my future held a life without love for a man but instead love for my children. I just couldn't see a way to marry Eric where I would end up happy. I would love any children I gave him but every time I found him in the stables with a slave I would suffer. I just wouldn't do that to myself. I decided the pain of life without love would be better in the long run then a broken heart.

The trip home ended up not being as much fun as the first time. The rain hadn't let up and we mostly stayed covered under a large blanket to keep dry. At least the first few hours I had stayed under it with the men. Eventually I climbed to the front of the boat and dangled my legs to each side of it and let the rain take me. Water always made me feel at peace and the rain had been no different. By the time we arrived home I was drenched in it. But it did not bother me at all.

I watched the men unload the boat as I stayed in place. I looked out among my people looking to see if my brother had returned checking each person one by one. Astrid and Ulfrick were among the men helping unload everything.

When I couldn't find him I decided to stop moping and get off the boat to greet my family. Climbing down I was lifted down by my father who pulled me into his arms.

"Daughter we have missed you! Come to the house and get warm! You can tell us all that happened on your adventure." He said wrapping me in a fur and pushing me towards Astrid.

"I missed you so sweet girl!" She said embracing me tightly before pushing me forward up the path to our home. "You're brother is alone with Drott so we best hurry to help him yes?" She whispered. So he had known I would return and stayed inside?

Once we arrived to the house I walked in and straight to my room to change clothes. Taking of my green tunic I threw it to the floor kicking it under my bed. I wouldn't wear it again anytime soon. It would only remind me of Bjorn's filthy grabby hands.

I left my feet bare and threw on a tunic that came to just below my knees. I figured in the comfort of my home I should be able to show some skin.

Besides! It was the only clean dress I had at the moment. It really was more of a night gown. But I soon would head to sleep so I saw no harm in it. There wasn't much to tell them anyways. I finished readying myself by tying my wet hair in a messy bun. This was good enough I thought as I stomped back out to my family.

Drott was in the arms of our mother now laughing and pulling her hair back and forth. Eric was sitting beside our father with his feet up on a stool still looking away from me.

Ulfrick was eagerly awaiting my stories. Smiling to him I sat down by the fire. "Well? Tell us everything child! When will we be grandparents?" He asked prodding my side. I watched Eric calmly from the corner of my eye. I was sure this was something that would please him.

"Well really there is not much to say father." I said shrugging.

But it was clear he was not going to take that as my answer, "After all this you won't even tell us of your adventure?" He asked sadly.

I sighed loudly, "It really was not much of an adventure Papa. His family was nice and so was he until I turned down his proposal." I said calmly.

His face changed so fast from curiosity to anguish, "You turned him down?" He asked confused. "But I thought you liked him? I thought you got along well when he was here?" He asked pressing me for more information. Eric was smiling now. But it wasn't a happy smile it was more of a smug smile. I didn't like it at all!

"Yes I liked him well enough. He was very handsome of course." I said trying to anger Eric and punish him for his smugness. "But he wasn't who I hoped he would be papa. I turned him down and his whole family treated me terribly after that. It really was awful." I sighed. I hoped he would understand.

"You women! I just do not understand at all! Haven't we given you everything? That man could have given us many men!" He said standing from his spot on the bench.

"Ulfrick! Stop it now. We knew it wasn't set in stone." Astrid said trying to calm him. I could tell she was relieved I wasn't marrying Bjorn.

"Agh! I need to drink!" He said grabbing his fur and leaving the house.

Astrid came over and placed Drott in my arms, "He is angry now but he will understand in time." She said smiling to me. "I would follow him and make sure he is alright." She said grabbing her furs and heading out of the house, leaving me alone with my brother and our sister.

We sat in silence for a while until I lay Drott in her bed to sleep and came back to sit with him. "She is such a good baby." I said quietly putting my feet up. Still he said nothing to me only looking into the fire. "Are you ever going to speak to me again brother?" I asked looking to him from beside the fire.

"And what would I say Oliivi?" He asked calmly.

"I do not know Eric. Maybe we could talk about what happened?" I asked my face turning red again. It always seemed to around Eric.

"Why would I wish to talk about that with you? What more would you have to say?" He spat. I could see the anger growing. I had lost my brother.

"I would say that I missed my brother!" I said sternly standing in front of him pushing his feet from the stool.

He only smiled cruelly to me, "I would say we ruined that wouldn't you?" he asked, "Sister?" He said sister like it was some kind of joke.

I stood my ground not letting up, "You will find someone to love Eric! I know it." I had to stop myself to breath, "I have faith that you will be happy someday."

"It does not matter! I don't plan to marry anyways. As you said I tend to sleep with the whole village anyways. I am sure at some point I will have a child. Who needs marriage?" He asked. This was not my brother. This was something else entirely.

'Couldn't find anyone like you anyways.' I was trying to listen to his thoughts to figure out what to do about him, 'Love you.' I heard the words again. He hadn't actually told me he loved me but this was the second time I heard him think it.

I said nothing more to him as I dropped to straddle him in his chair. Taking his face into my hands I whispered, "Brother you must move on. This is not healthy for either of us." Tears fell down my cheeks hitting Eric's shirt.

He said nothing to me as he wrapped his hand around my neck and pulled me to his mouth. It was not like that last time though, this time he was gentle with me.

Pulling away for a second I looked into his eyes and saw the sadness. My heart hurt in that moment. "I will love no other Oliivi." He whispered to me while he stroked my cheek with his hand. It was times like these where I saw the childlike quality to him. Like me he never really grew up. It was then I heard our father drunkenly stumbling through the door. At this I scrambled out of the chair leaving Eric to sit.

"Father! What are you doing? You must go to bed!" I said pulling him towards his room. Astrid followed behind to check on Drott laughing as she watched Eric shifting in his seat. "To bed then! With all of us!" Ulfrick hollered drunkenly. That night ended with me staying up with Drott while Eric and his mother took care of Ulfrick who kept getting up out of bed yelling and singing.