For the four people that reviewed
You are awesome. Super-fantasmic-splastic-extraordinary-awe-striking-badassery-swiping-awesome.
Hope you like this update.
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto... Although this new Pakkun's selfishness knows no bounds...
Warning: Language and dark humor
Beta: Don't think I'll need one if I keep dishing out 2k chapters... Maybe if the chapters get longer.
Pakkun Days
Momma's Boy vs Daddy Complex
My first word in the human language: Kakashi; and I'm praised like I'm the next age coming Einstein.
Second word: Damn; and I'm treated like a pariah. Then punished.
Well gee, I guess I won't open my damn mouth to Kakashi ever again. Not with Sakumo hounding down my neck for teaching him bad words. How was I supposed to know the kid is only 5. He supposedly graduates to genin after one year in the academy, off to become a killer. So what's a few cuss words here and there, compared to the blood he's gonna spill.
Morals here are freaking whacked.
He can freaking perform jutsus and tries to kill me on a daily basis! Not only that, he calls it 'playing'. Yah that's not even how our training goes down, that's just having a friendly play exercise.
I swear this world got screwed over sideways when Kaguya decided to eat that forbidden fruit. Chakra systems are just asking to die early.
Being 4 month's old with my owner who's a little shrimp, but wielding a deadly weapon; I was about to run pissing. Why didn't I? Is it not in my innate soul's nature to run?
Well, I partly did run. Until I realized the kid is faster than me. Yah, that's a low blow to my dog ego. Slower as a young pup than a 5-year-old human child. Another reason I hate the chakra system!
Kakashi threw the kunai, apparently never learning manners of fighting; in which you WAIT until your opponent finishes having flashbacks or monologue-ing.
This kid is growing up like a real killer. Correction: He is growing up to be a real killer.
I dodge barely, as the kunai nicked off some hair. Well... guess it's time to see if I have enough chakra of my own to use justu's! Or almost die from chakra exhaustion.
Well either choice is fine, not like I probably won't get reincarnated again. Hopefully, this time not in the Naruto world.
"Arf: Ruff Grawrf!"
'Ninken Art: Hound clone!' To say Kakashi's was shocked, would be an understatement. He looked stunned, no flabbergasted, as he stood there looking at 3 more clones of me. We all smirked to one another, putting on a menacing smile.
Kakashi ran, and one of my clones once again nipped him in the butt. The other chomped on his left leg as he fell. Sakumo and my mother came running.
Sakumo's panic quickly faded, as he snickered quietly to himself. I beamed in pride, as I held a piece of Kakashi's kunai printed underwear between my teeth. That is until mother came, and nipped me in the butt.
I whined loudly, as I lay on my stomach against the ground submissively. Mother's glare is nothing to sniff at, it practically had my bladder shaking. My ninja hound clones dissipated, before my mother went on a rant.
"Pakkun! What were you thinking using a jutsu you've never been taught before! You could've used up your chakra reserves, and guess what?! Kakashi would have to take care of a dead dog!"
I whimpered a pathetic sorry, as my mother just shook her head. She put her paw on top of my head.
"But that was very impressive. Just don't surprise me like that again."
For the first time, in a long time, I can feel my blood racing. Racing in a way that is making my tail wag, my eyes shine, and I didn't know what it is that was causing my body to do this. I leaped towards my mom, nuzzling in her neck, as she chuckled.
"But... Pakkun." I immediately froze at that tone of voice. "You still owe Kakashi an apology."
I pouted at my mother, but she did not break. Her eyes just stared back at me, until I finally broke contact. I slowly walked, the walk of shame any guilty dog walks when their owners call to them knowing they've done wrong. Geez, all I did was bite him in the ass for being an ass! It's not like I chewed up the shoes, or pissed in the house, or ripped up the furniture like I would've in a past life.
I considered for being 4 month's old, I was being a pretty obedient puppy.
I sat in front of the child, as his hand rubbed his bite wound. Mentally I snickered, but quickly reminded myself to hurry up and get this over with.
"I'm sorry... that you are too weak to protect your own ass."
Kakashi practically lit up like I had tossed oil onto a fire, as Sakumo had to hold him back from flinging all of his weaponry at me. My mother quickly smacked me over the head with her 'paw of doom'. I could just feel my skull developing an indent in the shape of it, as I rubbed my head with my own soft pink paw pads.
"Pakkun! That's not what I meant!" She gave an exasperated sigh, as she turned to her owner, who was embracing his son in a tight 'hug'. "I'm sorry Sakumo, I-"
"It's okay Pachan. Kakashi and Pakkun will learn to work out their differences." He let go of Kakashi, as he gave him a look. He left with a slight pat on Kakashi's head, as he motioned with his hand for Pachan to follow him. I knew from their exchange of glances that they were going to have a talk.
The two adults left the room, as Kakashi glared at me, metal glinting in his hand.
"Pakkun time for training." I shuddered at his tone of voice. It sounded even more menacing than my mother's. I could feel his chakra levels spiking, as our next pissing contest had begun.
That's when I first learned of exactly how vengeful Kakashi is.
Sakumo was tending to Kakashi's wounds that he received from training, as my mother was licking my own. Man, that brat is something. If I didn't have my 'special' knowledge, the original Pakkun would've had totally surrendered to this brat.
Kakashi glared at me from the couch, as I leered back just as fierce. My mother gave me a harsh lick on top of my head, as the skin rolled and wrinkled over my eyes. Being a pug had its perks, but I still did not get used to the loose skin. I gave a growl, as I could hear the little brat chuckling at me; apparently to him it was hilarious. I wish Sakumo would apply that disinfectant just a tad bit harder, but to no avail Sakumo played the good role as a father. No wonder the kid sucks up to him.
"There all done." As soon as my mother said that, I curled up beside her. My litter mates had already been shipped off to who knows where. I was only kept because giving Kakashi a 'nice' small dog to train with first would help him train his other dogs that he would soon add to the pack. I just happen to be the offspring of Sakumo's favorite tracker Pachan. My mother holds scars that she could go raving about for hours on end about her field work that she's done with the legendary 'White Fang'. Most of the time it helps me go to sleep. I just like sleeping next to her, she's nice warm cuddly, comforting when she wants to-
"Momma's boy..." I raised my head as my eyes glower with fury, as I hear those words uttered from that devilish spawn. Ears raised up, I listen to my mother and Sakumo, both silent and observing the situation. I stand up, walking over to Kakashi.
Well I guess it's time to show who's the alpha in this pack!
I quickly sprinted towards him, as Kakashi jumped on top of the couch. I smirked, sliding underneath with my chakra enhanced speed. As soon as I'm out from under, I leaped up to him, Kakashi's back to me. My jaws are almost there, almost about to dig my growing canines into that ass, until Sakumo grabbed me by the collar. My jaw clenched around nothingness, so I settle bringing my paws together in a tiger seal, as I cry out.
"Secret Hidden Leaf Technique: One Thousand Years of Death!"
Kakashi's delicious cry of pain is soothing to my ears, as I silently wag my tail. I can feel Sakumo's growing resentment, he probably shouldn't have let Kakashi choose which dog to be his. My mother whacked her paw over my head again.
"What kind of technique is that?!"
Sakumo put me down, as I quickly stand on top of the huddled form of Kakashi, as he's crying in pain to his father. Sakumo lets out a deep sigh, before he turns to Pachan.
"I think it is best if you tell Kakashi." My ears perked up at this, as does Kakashi. He quickly reached for me with his hands as he held my body. I twisted and turned, but that kid has one heck of a grip. I looked up expecting to see an irked brat, but he seemed more worried at his father's tone, concentrating on trying to read him than the squirming little puppy body in his hands.
"Tell me what, Tou-san?"
Pachan turned to the both of us. "Sakumo has been on leave for too long. We've been issued a long-term mission, as such you will be home... alone."
Kakashi immediately dropped me like a burning skillet, as I land on my chin, my body following suit.
"You're leaving me alone with this brat?" I whined, before Kakashi could even protest. He quickly latched to his father, only murmuring a few words, but my ears could still pick them up.
"Please, please don't leave me with that." Kakashi turned and glared at me, as his father gave him a few comforting pats on the head.
"I'm sure you two will be fine. You two will have fun time bonding."
'Bonding' he says... 'Fun' he says... Oh I'll show Kakashi what it's like to bond and have fun!
The boy looked apprehensive at being separated from his father for long, god he's such a little suck up for daddy. Talk about Father's complex. Maybe that's why I always prefer mom's... All the lifetimes I can remember I always grew up without a male figure. My mother walked up to me, before putting her paw on my shoulder.
"Now I want you on your best behavior. We leave for morning tomorrow." You only give me a couple of hours to adjust! Woman, you need to tell me this days ahead of time so I can prepare for vast annihilation of this kid so I can make it look like an accident! "I want you to be nice, Pakkun. Obey Kakashi, you understand."
"Yes mother." I glared at the little silver-haired child, as he also looked at his own father. His father was showing all the signs of feigning guilt, but he left the room with parting words.
"You'll be fine Kakashi, you have a smart young pup to protect you." If you find Kakashi dead, don't blame me, old man. "Plus, when I come back, I'll train with you on using the advance set of kata's for the tanto and more with your lightning affinity." Kakashi's eyes beam at the mention of training and lightning. God this kid is like a light bulb. Dead one moment, and lighting up the next.
I look towards my mother for any encouraging words, but she just mutters back. "If your good, you won't get punished." Well gee... thanks mom. I give a yawn, as Kakashi picked me up, the wrong way again... As his father and my mother go off and prepare to leave for whatever mission they are headed off for.
Kakashi carried me into his room as he sets me on his bed. He's been trying to convince me to lie next to him as he sleeps, but he's a ninja. He needs to learn to sleep by himself some time or later! Better soon, since he's going to be a prodigy. I don't care if he comes up with the excuse it'll help with teamwork, or that he can use me to scout the area and keep lookout for him while he sleeps. I'm not going to protect his ass, I'm the one who's going to be running the hell away from battle!
"Can't believe Tou-san is going to be gone for three months..." My jaw dropped, just as Kakashi was changing into his night wear, which for all the fangirls is a dark navy tanktop with boxers... that have puppy face prints that all look like me. The only pair of underwear I won't attack.
"Three months..." with this kid! Oh merciful heavens not only do you strike me down to remember my past lives, but now in one of the worst ones you make me stay alone with the worst trainer ever! He can't train team 7, let alone do team work with his own team. This kid is not a team player! He's the OP guy you use solo, but if you put him on a team he's bound to just be afflicted with that bad luck skill of getting everyone else killed! Did you not see how his mission went down with Obito... with Rin! Jashin, God, Buddha, Shinigami, or whoever I beg of thee to not let me be Pakkun the First...
I jumped off the bed, as I hid underneath his dresser. Oh right his bed, it's just a cot with a blanket. Not the most appeasing thing for a human body to lay on.
"Pakkun, come here." He was sitting on his bed, as he patted the portion beside him. I scooted more underneath the dresser. "Don't make me come get you."
"I'm fine here." I growled back, before I crawled in a circle, pulling my flat face closer to my stomach. The floor really was cold and pulling the heat out of me, but I'm sure I can handle a night on the floor.
"Fine I don't need you." Kakashi turned over, pulling his blanket to cover himself. The comment doesn't hurt at all. No I don't feel any feelings of sadness or guilt rising up in me. No, I don't feel the need to be kinder to Kakashi. He just said he 'doesn't need me'. He's better off without me.
Ninja's that plan on breeding dogs or having dog packs really need to invest in heated floors. Or carpet.
I shivered, as I tried to curl myself up tighter to prevent heat loss; but it doesn't satisfy my brain. My eyes peered at the kid, the moonlight hitting him, his hair shining like a beacon. But damn those covers that surround him, they seem nice and cuddly for once.
I shifted my body weight, as I shuffled from underneath the dresser. My paw tentatively stepped out onto the wooden floor, as it gives a minute* creak. Kakashi stirred, but fell still again. Must be just him in his sleep.
I quickly closed the distance between myself and the bed. I scanned the clock to see it is 2:34 in the morning. The time doesn't deter me, as I jumped up on the bed. Kakashi doesn't move. I side stepped over his stumpy little legs, before curling in the blanket portion near his backside. Funny, he's warm just like mother.
"Night 'Kashi." I silently murmur.
"Night Pakkun."
That must've been my imagination. Damn ears, I'll have to clean them out tomorrow.
Our first week together so far has got to be one of the worst weeks in my lifetime to date so far. Not only does Kakashi just have us train all day, he keeps forgetting to feed me! If I even mention it, he just says that as a ninken I will need to deal with period in my life that I'll go hungry for a while, and that I need to stop being spoiled, and listen to him for once.
But he thinks he can just make me bow to him because of hunger! Don't make me laugh. Let's see how he likes having underwear with chewed holes! The terrorizing can go both ways mister!
Apparently chewing up his clothing and other accessory's has lead me to be kicked out of the house. Not that I mind, since I may have discharged some chakra to our water tank. He'll have to deal with no running water. Oh Spirits, Sakumo and mother are going to kill us when the get back; death is coming for us in another two months, three weeks, four hours, five minutes, and twenty-one seconds. Am I getting a little paranoid with waiting for my mother... Maybe I do have separation issues.
I'm having trouble sleeping, and urges to just chew everything. I've even started to chew my left paw, which Kakashi keeps hitting me for, which makes me want to chew it even more. Are my adult teeth growing in? No, my gums don't feel itchy like they did when I was teething.
"Pakkun, quit it! I don't need a three legged tracker." Kakashi shoves off my mouth from my paw, as I growl and snap at him. "Knock it off!" He throws a kunai towards me, as I dodge and once again, the game of 'training' is afoot. I leap towards Kakashi as he dodges, and we go again; breaking rule number 3: no fighting in the house. Well that kunai is going to leave a good scar in that wooden floor.
Paw pads hit the floor, as do scattered patterns of feet. Kakashi is now chasing me, as we've entered training mode. We play a version of tag, only it's called predator vs prey. And for now I'm the prey, at least for another 5 minutes, as Kakashi chases after me. I quickly make it outside, as I walk up along the wall to the roof. Another plus factor about being a dog, since we age faster, we also develop our chakra systems early as well. Although I'm a pup, I have greater control that Kakashi.
Haha take that you prodigious, stuck up, Daddy-complex rascal!
Kakashi takes a couple jumps, rebounding from the tree, to the wall, back to the tree, and then landing (with gusto) on top of the roof. I give an unimpressed look, but Kakashi swings some shurikens at me. But the whizzing of wire doesn't escape my ears, as I run to dodge them. Kakashi tugs at the strings, causing them to dance and whirl around me, but his wire skills are not as fancy as his skills with a kunai or tanto. With little room, I weave between them, making good use of my small body. I clench my teeth around one of them as I pull, reminding Kakashi not to wrap them around his fingers as he is prone to do. I can see him wince, as his digit pulls forward. I let go, before dropping down to the wall and running inside.
I care not if Kakashi is coming after me, because now I race the switch point. After a certain amount of allotted time, the prey can become the predator by stepping into the 'evolution' space. Kakashi is too late to stop me, as I stand on top of the rug.
After a small confrontation with my clone hounds, I smirk triumphantly as I strut with his ripped underwear in between my teeth.
Momma's Boy 1, Daddy Complex 0.
*the one where it is pronounced like 'my newt' combined. Why are minute and minute spelled the same, but have different meanings and pronunciations... welcome to english my friends.
So what did you think of this chapter? Hopefully the fight scene wasn't too confusing to read. I didn't want to put it into too much detail, so I hope you can still picture/imagine what's going on.
Also I plan on updating this maybe twice a week? Definitely once a week though, since the chapters I come out with this are relatively short.
Hope you like it, and remember always:
Review if you want to show how much you love/want-updates/need-updates for this story!
And as always thanks for coming by to read :D