Something I Can Never Have, from the song by Nine Inch Nails
Note – Buckle the f**k up for the end. You'll know what I mean when you get there.
2010
"Uh, where are we going?" Max heard herself say, though for a second the words and her mind did not seem to fully connect with each other, "Hey, you're hurting my wrist! This is all just so…so…"
Max had reluctantly been pushed into attending the party she was now at, the scarce few friends she had managed to make and keep attempting to get her out of her shell. Max had danced with them for a bit before going over to the makeshift bar someone had built. She was in the process of buying a soda when one of the other partygoers had approached her and they started talking.
He seems alright, I guess, Max had thought as the conversation continued for what felt like an hour, the two of them talking about his passion for music and her interest in pursuing a career in photography. He was friendly enough, and didn't seem like he was trying to make a move on her. Good thing he isn't. He's definitely not my type. When he had dropped his phone as he was trying to get her Facebook info, she had knelt down to grab it before handing it back and taking a sip of her soda. The refreshing tingle of the bubbles gave way to a slightly lightheaded feeling that wasn't unpleasant to Max. Maybe this is me, feeling better for a change rather than moping in my room back home.
Max had spent the past two years in a conflicted state. While she had always come incredibly close, she could never quite bring herself to contact her best friend back in her old hometown of Arcadia Bay. I'm not sure what I would even say to Chloe. I wanted to come back that weekend for the funeral but she all but hissed at me between her crying. She's went through so much; all I wanted was to be there for her. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Max smiled warmly at her discussion partner and he suggested they find somewhere quieter in the party to go and talk. Don't, Max, a voice in Max's head told her, This is a red goddamn flag! Stop!
"Uh, sure," Max heard herself say, the lightheadedness intensifying as she felt her legs become slightly rubbery while trying to walk and keep herself upright.
The abandoned building was old. Max could smell mildew and an earthy, dusty stench was nearly palpable. Her mind a jumble of mixed thoughts and misfiring signals, Max felt her head begin to spin before she turned it back towards the way they had come in. I…I think I need to…need to leave…
"Heyyyy, can we g-go back to the party," Max said, her voice slurring as the pill that was put in her soda began to fully take effect, "This is so fucking stupid. I don't even…hey, where'd you go? Uh…where'd you go, whatsyourface?"
Just then Max felt a slight pinch along her neck and she swatted at what she figured was a bug. Her eyes widened as she felt a head of hair under her hand, her hand groping further to find a pair of eyes, a nose, and a mouth latched onto her. Max pulled her hand back sluggishly and felt the haziness in her head become replaced with horror as she looked at the blood on her fingers. Is this…is this mine?
"Hey. Hey, leggo! Let…go!" Max yelled as she grabbed the face latched onto her and pushed her fingers into its eyes, hearing a piercing wail as she felt something give in one of the eye sockets. Screaming, Max ran in a panicked state as she headed further into the building and not out of it. Panting, delirious from shock and her drugged state, Max ran blindly towards the only room that still had a door. Her arm reaching out, Max felt a hand latch onto her other arm and jerked it back. Spinning, Max felt the floorboards under her feet buckle and give way with a soft crunch as first her feet and then her entire body began to fall.
Seeing the dim illumination of the hallway she had just been in, muffled party sounds and music were replaced by her own screams as Max Caulfield fell into what felt to her like an abyss, landing with a wet thud onto a cold floor before passing out. Her last thought before unconsciousness was Am I dead?, then the blackness claimed her for its own.
Now
"Ah, dude, I totally forgot about my truck for a sec!" Chloe said as she looked around the small empty space behind the back of their apartment building, thinking of her truck and how it was still at the junkyard.
Max's head snapped up from her flashback to look over at Chloe wearily. Drained from yesterday and feeling like she could break down at any moment, Max wanted to be left alone more than anything else right now. I just want to lie down, just shut everything out. I get that Kate is concerned and I appreciate it, but I'm not in the mood. Why did I let myself get talked into this? Max knew that she should try, make an effort, but after last night and her own dreams she felt as though sinking back into herself would be the easiest, safest thing to do at the moment. Max slowed her pace a bit which resulted in her tugging back as Chloe descended ahead of her.
"Come on, Max," Chloe said as she turned to look at the sad girl standing a few steps behind her, "You need another friendly face. I mean, I know that I'm smoking hot but you should really get out right now and see another person who hella cares for your nerdy undead ass. Quit slowing your roll and come on."
"But what about the all the people at Two Whales? There could be trouble, what with you being newly turned and all-" Max pleaded, knowing and not caring how hypocritical she sounded after begging Chloe to come with her.
"Dude. You are the one who argued about me tagging along. Max," Chloe said as she climbed up the steps to look at Max face-to-face, "I love you, but stop trying to come up with excuses for shit. I'm assuming that Kate is not the only person who isn't me that you've been hella avoiding. Get over yourself and let your flag fly, Maxaroni!"
Chloe sighed as Max moped for a moment longer before nodding with a begrudged look on her face. I'll probably pay for tossing out Max's punk card later, but Kate totally cares about her and Max could use more support in her life right now. Jesus, Max. Have you been holding everything from last night in for three years? No wonder you fucking hate yourself and all the other vampires. Fuck, I hella would. Who knows when those two from last night will come back? They'll probably bring more. Shit's about to get real in Arcadia Bay…
"You feel up for taking your scooter, Speedy?" Chloe asked as she looked to see Max wiping at her eyes. Seeing Max shake her head in reply, Chloe nodded thoughtfully before taking Max's hand again with a gentle squeeze. Walking through the alleyway, she caught Max dejectedly glancing towards the boarded-up window they had used to sneak inside the first floor. Taking Max's cheek in her hand, Chloe kissed her fiancé on the cheek before slowly tilting Max's view away from window. Rachel was my friend, but I feel like you're taking her being gone way harder than I am right now, Max. I can't even imagine what is running through your head, and to be honest it frightens me more than a little. We'll get through all this, though. Together.
"Chloe, the bus probably won't be here for a while," Max said in a mildly whining voice, "Please, can we just go back to the apartment? I just want to be alone with you." Please don't make me go. I don't want to!
"No can do, Maxaroni. You told Kate you'd be there, so there we go. Relax, okay? I've got your back. You've got mine, right?" Chloe said with a supportive grin as she gave Max another kiss on the cheek.
"You know that I do," Chloe heard Max say in reply, a look of mild irritation flashing across the smaller girl's face before returning to her current default of numbness. Getting there, Max. Piece by piece I'm drawing you back out. Need Kate's help with it, though. Can't go this one alone.
"Well then, just let me have your back and believe in my thinking that a visit with Kate will be good for you," Chloe said, trying to reassure Max only to get a grumble in reply. You've got to give me something, Max. Help me pull you out of this. Seize the day, or some shit like that!
Chloe forcibly sat Max down on the bench of the bus stop and held her down as the bus approached after a small amount of time. Chloe hated seeing Max like this, but Max also didn't really care at that moment. Max wanted to go home, she wanted to lock herself away. She felt like a living wound, a bleeding tear in her and Chloe's world that would never healing right. Knocked out of her introspection, Max felt herself lurched forward as Chloe hauled her into the bus. Max plopped down onto the front seat and felt herself get boxed in as Chloe took a seat next to her.
You've got to give me something, Max, Chloe thought as the bus doors closed before the public transportation began to turn back onto the street, Let me know you're in there. I can't help you if you lock me the fuck out. Chloe went to take Max's hand but felt a pang of heartbreak as Max withdrew her hand and shifted her position in the seat so that she was looking out the window with her back to Chloe. Sadness turning to frustration, Chloe's lips pressed together as her mouth went from a frown to a thin line. Okay. That's it. No more Ms. Nice Chlo.
"Fucking stop it," Chloe uttered into Max's ear, "Just stop it, Max. You want to be fucking miserable? I won't stop you. You know how miserable I can be, you know what I've been through, and I'm not here to goddamn judge your pale ass. I can't imagine what the fuck happened to you, what you're going through, but I am right here and you're literally turning your back on me. So help me God, you will not fucking treat me like this after everything that has happened. Do you understand?"
Chloe's felt her chest seize when Max turned herself so that she was facing Chloe. It's like she's aged decades in minutes. Max, you can't go it alone on this! Her face haggard with the bags under her eyes darker than usual, Max looked at Chloe with pained, hollow eyes and a dead expression on her face. Chloe leaned into Max and began to cover Max's cheeks with little kisses as the other girl started to sniffle, pain coming out of Max in small waves that resulted in tears dribbling down her face.
"I'm sorry," Max said, her voice frail and meek as Chloe pulled back so that she wasn't all over Max's face while the small brunette spoke with genuine feeling, "It's everywhere I look, Che. Every time I blink my eyes I see it happening all over again. The blackness, the haze. I think something was put in my drink, and I was led into a building where I was supposed to die-"
"No. You weren't supposed to do anything except be Max Caulfield," Chloe said as she pulled Max into her arms, "Whoever the fuck did this to you took something away, forced you into a direction you weren't meant to go. But you're here now, and I'm here with you. You've helped me so much, gotten me to open up when all I wanted was to just burn Arcadia Bay and the world before turning it into fucking glass. So let me be here for you. Please?" Chloe held up Max's tear-stained face in her hands and wouldn't let go until Max sluggishly nodded before burying her face into Chloe's jacket. There you are, Max. You're right here, and I've got you. I'm never fucking letting you go. Just keep your hand in mine and we'll make it.
Chloe held onto Max, the smaller girl's face buried in Chloe's leather jacket, the entire way from where they had started on their bus ride all the way to Blackwell Academy. Chloe looked around in confusion for a moment before realizing that they must've been on a bus that was going to the school first before coming back around to town. Seeing a familiar shape standing on the sidewalk as the bus pulled up to the Blackwell stop, Chloe opened her window and waved her blue-nailed hand a shyly smiling Kate Marsh.
Chloe felt relieved when Kate waved back and quickly climbed inside, taking the empty seat that was behind her and Max. Seeing Kate peer over the back of her and Max's seat, Chloe mouthed Hey to Kate, getting a What's wrong? in reply. Just shaking her head with a sad look on her face, Chloe conveyed enough to Kate that when Kate sat back down into her own seat Chloe saw the look of worry on the other girl's face. She really is the sweetest fucking person I've ever met. Sorry, Max, but your buddy is just too much.
Max stiffened in Chloe's grip for a moment as the bus lurched while going through the roundabout to head back into Arcadia Bay. Opening her eyes, Max looked at Chloe's shirt for a moment to make sure she hadn't left red stains behind from her crying before looking up at the blue-haired angel watching over her. Hi, Max had mouthed with a halfhearted attempt at a smile, and had nearly sobbed again when Chloe warmly smiled back and kissed her in reply.
Seeing a familiar head of hair in the seat behind them, Max lifted herself out of Chloe's hold and leaned over the seat to see Kate playing with her phone. Max chuckled faintly when Kate realized she was being watched and her head jerked up only to smile at the weary-looking Max.
"Hey," Kate said with a smile, leaning over to kiss Max on the cheek.
"Only Chloe smooches allowed, Lady Jesus," Chloe playfully grumbled.
"She gets a free pass," Max said back, snickering as Chloe and Kate shot each other relieved looks at Max's light display of mirth.
"Noooooo," Chloe said in feigned grief, burying her face in her hands, "You are a thief, Marsh, and we hates it forever!" Max bust up laughing at the LOTR reference, even more so when Kate followed up.
"But she's my own. My preciousss," Kate said, pulling off a decent Gollum impression.
"Ugh, stop it. You're actually making my sides hurt," Max said as she winced from the sudden outburst of her own laughter. She groaned and rolled her eyes as Chloe and Kate gave each other a high five in response to Max's complaining. Oh, I get it now. This was planned, wasn't it? "You two…"
"Yes, we noble few. We band of sistas," Chloe said with a a smirk as she turned around the rest of the way. She and Max were both leaning against the back of their seat while Kate sat facing them, two girls waiting patiently to see if the faint smile on the crestfallen girl's face remained. A wordless prayer escaped Kate's lips when Chloe watched Max lean in and place a fragile, but loving, kiss on her lips. Even when you're down you taste wonderful, Max, Chloe thought as she kissed Max back.
"Heathens," Kate joked with a smirk as she shook her head.
Clambering out of the bus, all three girls stretched as they made their brief passage down the sidewalk and into Two Whales. Chloe was feeling better after having seen Max finally start to come out of her shell, her hand now intertwined with Max's, when she felt the other girl's grip tighten. Looking at Max, she saw the worried look on her fiancé's face as Max nervously looked at the diner and then Chloe.
"You or me?" Chloe asked, a faint pout trickling down her lips.
"You," Max replied in a quiet voice, "Will you be okay?" Max felt Chloe's hand tighten on hers and bashfully looked away as Chloe gave her a peck on the cheek.
"You're here. If I start to freak, bail a lady out," Chloe replied with a smirk as she tugged Max along until they had joined Kate at the entrance to the diner. "Ah, nothing like the smell of grease and coffee in the morning."
The three of them entered the diner and almost made a beeline for Max and Chloe's usual booth before noticing that it was occupied by Nathan Prescott and Taylor Christensen, the two in a heated discussion. Looking at Kate with a concerned expression only to get a confused shrug in reply, Max watched as Taylor leapt out of her seat and slapped Nathan across the face before heading in their direction.
"Oh! Uh, hey," Taylor said as she looked up from where she was walking, nearly bumping into Kate, "Sorry."
"Taylor?" Max asked, setting her own problems aside as she saw the pretty blonde girl begin to cry, "Taylor, what's wrong?"
Max heard a huffing noise from Chloe and shot her a quick glare before reaching over to gently take Taylor by the arm. Nodding at Kate, Max watched her and Chloe take the booth at the opposite end of the diner while she sat Taylor at the counter and took a seat next to her. Watching Nathan Prescott come storming past, Max exchanged menacing glares before he slammed the door open on his way out. Looking over to see Taylor watching the unspoken display of aggression, Max grinned sheepishly at the teary-eyed girl.
"Ugh, he's such an asshole!" Taylor said with hostility laced in her otherwise exhausted voice, "He acts cool, sure, but he's totally a piece of shit when it comes to things that have nothing to do with him."
"Uh…," Max said, furrowing her brow in confusion until Taylor spoke up again.
"Victoria's finally awake and he can't be bothered to see her. Douchebag," Taylor spat, looking up at Max in thanks as she was handed some napkins. Dabbing at her eyes, Taylor slammed her free hand on the counter with an open palm only for both girls to get very quiet when Joyce shot them a confused look from across the diner.
"She's awake?" Max asked.
"Uh, yeah," Taylor said in irritation before looking at Max apologetically, "Sorry. Yeah, she woke up yesterday afternoon. The cops swarmed on her like fucking flies, Max, asking her so many questions that she started to shake. They asked about you, about that night and what happened. I felt so bad for her, poor Vic."
"Does she-"
"She says that she can't remember anything from that night, save you getting her to the hospital. She…she wants to talk to you," Taylor said as she pulled out her phone. Taking one of the unused napkins, Taylor scrawled some numbers onto the thin paper before handing it to Max. "That's her room number, and these are the visiting hours."
"Yeah, I remember that from when I went to see Kate."
"Right. Uh, d'you mind if I go over there with you? Just for a sec?" Taylor said as she stood up from the stool she was at and gestured in the direction of Kate and Chloe's booth, "I'd really like to talk to Kate. I haven't gotten a chance since she's been back and…"
"Sure. C'mon," Max said as she offered her hand to Taylor, the other girl taking it hesitantly before a small smile came across her face, "You know, I still have your photos waiting for you at my apartment, Taylor. You ever going to come by and pick them up? You did pay for them, after all."
"Ugh, I totally forgot! Would today after school work?"
"That'll be fine. I've got some…some personal things going on, so Chloe and I will probably be at the apartment all day today," Max said to Taylor as they arrived at the booth that Kate and Chloe were occupying, "Uh, Taylor said she wanted to talk to you, Kate."
Max watched as Kate eyed Taylor suspiciously and tried to keep a straight face when Taylor awkwardly held her arm with her other hand. Oh my Dog, she does it too! I feel so bad for her. She's actually a lot sweeter than she lets on. I wonder if everybody in the Vortex Club but Victoria and Nathan are like this…
"Kate? I was wondering if we could talk? Like, in private?" Taylor asked, composing herself.
"Why?" Kate shot back, a slightly hurt look on her face as she glanced over at Max.
"…Please. Just give me a minute?"
"…Fine. I'll be right back," Kate said to Chloe, giving Max a curious look as she let Taylor lead her outside.
Max took a seat next to Chloe as the other girl fiddled around with one of the menus. Rolling her eyes at Chloe, Max plucked the menu out of a blue-nailed hand and set it down on the table before scooping up the hand and kissing it.
"Hi," Max said with a bashful smile as she gave a bemused Chloe an Eskimo kiss, "I missed you."
"Oh, so now she arises," Chloe said with a pout, "You play nice for Taylor but not for your fiancé? I see how it is. Also, it was like three minutes – I seriously doubt you could have missed me in that small amount of time."
"You underestimate yourself," Max said as she leaned her head against Chloe's shoulder and gave a soft kiss on the neck, "I did miss you."
"You're so fucking mushy sometimes. Ugh."
"I can always 'lock myself the fuck away', brah."
"Was that supposed to be me? Were you actually doing an impression of me? If so, I'm offended," Chloe said as she stared out at the window in horror, "Oh my fucking shit."
"What?" Max asked, her head still leaning into Chloe's neck before she felt Chloe lift up her chin so she could see out the window, "Holy shit."
Kate was hugging Taylor, both girls looking like they were crying. While the windows shut out the voices of the two girls, Max and Chloe both could have sworn that the two girls outside were being friendly towards each other before Taylor waved bye as she headed for the bus. Watching Kate wave back, Max and Chloe snapped their heads down hurriedly when Kate looked over into the window.
"Is this for real? Isn't that the seventh sign or something?" Chloe asked, still in shock.
"I think I actually want coffee now," Max said as she grabbed the extra coffee cup on the table and walked over to the counter to get it filled up, pausing to look back at Chloe, "I might want some liquor, too."
Watching Kate come back inside from the counter, Max saw a small smile on her lips and looked at Kate in confusion before turning around to thank Joyce for the coffee. Taking her seat next to Chloe, Max and Chloe both patiently waited the blushing Kate out until she finally spoke up.
"Taylor apologized. In person," Kate blurted out, looking away from the bewildered smiles on Max and Chloe's face, "Oh, stop looking at me like that. She wanted to apologize and say how sorry she was."
"Sure, to make herself feel better," Chloe said before wincing at the thrusting elbow Max planted into her side, "Dude, she's Victoria's lead henchman. She's-"
"She asked for my forgiveness," Kate said in a quiet voice, Max looking on as Chloe looked floored by the statement.
"No fucking way," Chloe sputtered.
"Yes, actually, yes way."
The three talked as they waited for Joyce to come back around so that Max could order. All three deciding on Belgian Waffles, their discussion turned towards Kate for a minute or two more before Max slumped in her seat as two sets of eyes fell upon her. Chloe and Kate talked to Max with earnest faces and compassionate voices, telling her that she didn't need to fight whatever she was going through alone.
"If you need help, Max, all you have to do is ask," Kate said as she leaned over the table to place a hand on one of Max's shoulders, "Chloe does live with you, after all. Can't blame you if sometimes you don't want to speak up, though."
"Hey!" Chloe said, more shocked than hurt by the jab from Kate, "What the eff, Lady Jesus!"
"'Let she who is with snark cast the first stone'," Max said with a giggle as Kate smiled triumphantly at a confused Chloe before raising an eyebrow at Max.
"You might be in trouble for that one, Max," Kate said, still smiling, as Joyce showed up with their orders.
It was like Max felt the tension ripple over her from Chloe in waves as she saw the bandage on Joyce's forearm, a thin line of blood barely visible from the small cut. Max wrapped her arm around Chloe's and used the connection to hold her fiancé down as Chloe's eyes flashed with hunger for a second. Knowing that Chloe's fangs could pop out at any moment, Max did the only thing she could and leaned in to kiss her fidgeting, hungry vampire of a fiancé.
Max grimaced at first as Chloe trembled in an attempt to get out of Max's hold, Max keeping her eyes closed partly to focus but also because she was afraid she might break the contact if she saw Kate's blushing face and Joyce's look of surprise. Max and Chloe had kissed in public before, but never like this. This is really awkward, Max said as she spun in her seat so that she was facing the still-squirming Chloe and put her free hand into Chloe's hair as she pushed Chloe even further into the kiss. Chloe fought for a moment longer before Max felt a hand reach over and lock its fingers into her own coppery, brunette hair. Chloe's tongue parted Max's lips and licked at Max's tongue for a moment before her eyes snapped open and she saw her mother and Kate watching her, Kate's mouth hung open.
"Uh…wow, Max! Didn't know you were into the extreme sports version of PDAs," Chloe said, trying to laugh the scene off as Max looked away in embarrassment.
"Wow," Kate uttered, her turn at being shocked, "I thought you said that Max was going through some really big issues…"
"I knew it!" Max said as she slapped at Chloe's shoulder, "Traitor!"
"Hey. C'mon now, you two," Joyce said with a tinge of nervousness, "You're spooking the other customers with your…shenanigans."
Stopping in mid-swing, Max's eyes opened wide and met with Chloe's similar face as both girls peered over the back of their seat to see every other person in the diner watching them. Max's face couldn't turn away from all the stares, she was so horrified. Her body locked in place, Max had to be resituated by Chloe as she turned Max around and lowered the smaller girl's still-raised arm.
"Umm…," Chloe mumbled as she awkwardly scratched at her beanie, "How about them…fuck, I don't even remember any of Blackwell's team names…"
Max lifted her hand and took the fork next to her still-warm breakfast and broke the silence by cutting herself a piece of waffle, the scrape of her fork against the plate seeming to reset their little gathering as Kate and Chloe joined her in eating their own food. No one talked until all three plates were relatively cleared of breakfast food, Max sighing as she put down her third cup of coffee.
"So…Victoria's awake," Max said awkwardly, trying to start up a conversation, "Taylor said she wanted to see me. Gave me her room number and everything. I was thinking that maybe we could go after we're done here, Che. That alright?"
"You want to go see Victoria Chase?" Chloe asked in amazement, "The Victoria who-"
"Yes, that Victoria," Max cut Chloe off, stepping on the other girl's foot to hush her. Please, Chloe, regale Kate with our delightful stories of screaming and violence. Ugh, dork.
"I think it's sweet," Kate said, catching both girls off-guard.
"You cereal?" Max asked, surprised.
"She's done…a lot of mean things to me, Max, but she doesn't deserve to die for it. Besides, if I hate her then that means she wins. I won't let that happen," Kate said as she looked out the window.
"Wow, Kate. Look at you and your righteous lack of fury," Chloe said with a grin as she leaned over to poke Kate in the shoulder before sitting back down, "Just needed to see if you're Kate and not an imposter."
Max and Kate chatted about the photography program at Blackwell while Chloe played with her phone, all three girls keeping themselves occupied until the bus began to approach. Offering to pay for the breakfast, Max gave Kate a quick hug before her friend walked out the door and ran to the bus as it was about to leave the bus stop. Max was going through her wallet when she saw Chloe peering at her from under a fringe of blue hair.
"What?" Max asked, curious about the odd look on Chloe's face.
"You sure are getting hella chummy with the Vortex Club, Max. Your inner preppy going to burst through your chest any time soon?" Chloe asked, her tone in opposition with the casual look on her face.
"Wow, Chloe. I knew you got jealous but this is kinda cute," Max teased, humored as Chloe yanked her beanie off to put her face right up to Max's with a grin.
"Maxaroni, you haven't seen me do jealous," Chloe said before kissing Max.
Sighing, Max reluctantly pulled back from the kiss and slid out of the booth. Heading over to the end of the counter across from Joyce, Max handed her a $20 and asked if she and Chloe could borrow her car so that they could visit someone in the hospital. Taking the proffered keys with gratitude, Max spun around and headed out the door as Chloe made her way outside as well. Both girls' stomachs growled as they headed towards Joyce's car and they looked at each other with shared smirks.
"Buzz by the apartment?" Chloe asked.
"Sure, but I think that it would be best if you didn't tag along with me to the hospital," Max said as she tossed the keys to Chloe and climbed into the passenger side.
"Dude, I didn't mean to go bat-shit in there," Chloe said as she waved an arm in the direction of Two Whales, "Besides, are you sure you're up for visiting Victoria considering how the past two days have been?"
"I know you didn't mean to do anything, Che, but that was just from the faintest whiff of human blood. What do you think your reaction will be in a hospital permeated with the smell? And no, I don't think I am up for visiting Victoria but I don't have little choice. Taylor said that Victoria claims she doesn't remember anything but wants to talk to me. I have to make sure that she either doesn't remember anything or won't say anything," Max said as she buckled herself in.
"You suck when you're all rational and shit," Chloe said as she started the car, "I like emotional Max more. I can just cuddle her and hold her hand without having to deal with an existential crisis."
"Boooooo."
Topping off the sports bottle at the apartment after they both drank their fill, Max climbed out of the car. Chloe convincing Max to at least let her drive Max to the hospital, the blue-haired wonder was to return in an hour or so. Places to go, people to do. Huh, Che? Max had thought with dry humor at the impatient look of frustration on Chloe's face before she had squealed the tires of her mother's car while speeding out of the parking lot.
Showing Taylor's note to the nurse at reception, Max got a couple awkward looks from hospital staff that she remembered from the night she brought Victoria in. I swear I won't break anything, Max thought as she awkwardly waved at the staring people before she was escorted down to the rooms devoted to short-term care. Led to a room with the door closed, Max waited as the nurse knocked on the door.
"Yes?" Max heard a weak voice ask.
"Victoria, you have a visitor," the nurse replied, opening the door the rest of the way so that Max could head inside.
"Uh, hi Victoria," Max said awkwardly as she looked at the pale form of Victoria Chase lying in a hospital bed. Seeing Victoria's hand fumble along the side of the bed, Max figured what the other girl wanted and pushed a button on the console. The top half of the bed rising until Victoria coughed to let Max know when to stop, Victoria was in a reclined position when Max looked back up.
"You look better," Max said, her voice sheepish. We're not friends. I don't know what to say to you.
"Ugh, I look and feel like shit, Max," Victoria said as she put a palm to her forehead before combing her hair with her fingers, "I didn't really expect you to come. We're not friends, and I don't have anything prepared to say."
Max couldn't help but chuckle as Victoria finished speaking, stopping only when she saw the ire on Victoria's face.
"I'm not laughing at you, Victoria. I'm laughing because you said what I had just thought beforehand."
Victoria looked at Max pensively for a moment before breaking into a weak grin and chuckling herself. Her laughter strained as she winced from the pain in her abdomen, Victoria clutched at her stomach for a moment before looking up at Max.
"Close the door."
Max closed the door and walked back over, taking the seat Victoria gestured toward and brining it bedside as she sat.
"You're a vampire."
"Yes," Max felt no reason to lie, having saved Victoria's life. Also, Max couldn't deny she was curious as to Victoria's ambivalence towards her.
"How?"
"…I was drugged at a party in Seattle. When I came to…," Max paused before popping out her fangs for effect, smirking when Victoria's eyes momentarily widened. Retracting her fangs, Max folded her hands across her lap, "You've told everybody else that you don't remember anything."
"You saved my life. Twice, if I'm correct?"
"Yes. Once at the lighthouse and another at the school."
"So I'm saving yours. The cops asked a lot of questions, Max," Victoria said, surprising Max with her sympathetic tone, "I can't imagine that it is easy being…well, that."
"It really isn't, but I make do."
"Do you…eat people?"
"I fed on Chloe twice during…stuff, but aside from that I don't. I go after wildlife-" Max said before being cut off by a raised hand from Victoria.
"The less I know the better I will feel," Victoria said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "Like I said, not friends. But that doesn't mean I can't watch your back some. Allies, I guess? I could use one, especially after yesterday…" Max leaned forward as seeing Victoria anxiously glanced out the window.
"What happened?" Max asked, a nagging worry starting to creep up her spine, nestling in her stomach.
"Nathan came to see me. Talking about how sorry he was, which I didn't respond with a damn word, then started talking about how he thought it was you and your lesbian lover that did this to me. I then told him that I didn't remember which only made him more pissed off and he stormed out of here in a rage, said he was going to make sure you and your girlfriend got what's coming to you," Victoria said, wincing again from the strain her body was undertaking, "How long does it take you to heal? I ask because my injuries are being a complete bitch."
"You wouldn't like what you'd have to do for my level of recovery."
"Probably not. Definitely not. Ew. Well," Victoria said with a sigh as she looked back over at Max, "I said to myself that I would warn you and I have. That's it, you can go now."
"…Thanks, Victoria," Max said, getting a moment of weakness out of Victoria as the two girls briefly smiled at one another. Victoria's ambivalence quickly returned when she realized what she was doing, to Max's slight disappointment. Maybe it's just Nathan that is evil…
"Whatever."
Letting herself out, Max weaved her way through and out the hospital, ignoring the looks she once again received from the front desk staff as she pulled out her phone to text Chloe.
Max: Che? I'm done
Chloe: Hella fast, Max
Chloe: u eat her?
Max: UGH NO
Chloe: I suppose u want ur knight to come rescue u
Max: sure where is she?
Chloe: ily2 smart-ass
Max: still y I'm here
Chloe: On my way bae
Max: did you really just call me that?
Chloe: Hushhhhh
Sliding her phone into her pocket, Max was so lost in thought from the information that she had just received that she hardly noticed someone coming up from behind. Only a few paces away, Max's head shot up and she spun around with eyes narrowed at the sight of Stephen approaching her with his hands raised. Backpedaling a few steps, Max let out a low growl as Stephen halted his approach and gestured to his own phone.
"Fine," Max said cooly, straightening her back, "Talk."
"I'm so sorry that we brought up something so horrible, Max. You never talked about how you were turned."
"Why would I? I didn't even remember it until I turned Chloe. I'm a fucking mess, now," Max said through gritted teeth, "What the fuck do you want? I said I would…you know what I said last night."
"Max, I'm here to offer you an amnesty. Not all of us are bad. You know this."
"Do I?" Max asked with a bitter laugh, "I was on the run for three years. Three years. You and Maeve…you took me in, took care of me. And then you break into my home and present me with what basically is a death warrant. Y'know, I was tortured and locked away. I was dumped into the ocean for a month. And I'm supposed to be excited about the idea that if I do what was done to me I will be left alone because I'm fucking special? Pffffft," Max said, her laugh a little unbalanced as the memory of last night and three years ago mingled in her head with the severe depression she felt this morning.
"Max, you don't have to answer right away. But you should know that one of our leaders-"
"Your leaders," Max spat, leaving Stephen to frustratingly repeat what he had typed out.
"Max, you don't have to answer right away. But you should know that one of our leaders will be coming down here soon."
Raising his hands again, Stephen mouthed I really am sorry to a resentful Max before he backed away from her, turned around, and left. Whatever, Max thought, still reeling from last night enough that she couldn't process what had just been said to her in its entirety. Her mind wandering, Max thought about her confinement and the feel of the iron bars as they ran through her joints. What kind of assholes do that to a person? Killing in self-defense is bad, but torture is okay? Yeah, that's not fucking creepy at all. Max's thoughts also moved toward what Victoria had told her about Nathan. Her introspection regarding that took surprisingly little time. He tore up Chloe's hideout and trashed her truck. Mean little shit. Hearing her phone go off, Max slipped it out and saw a new message from Chloe.
Chloe: SOS
Max: ?
Chloe: lighthouse now plz
Thinking about both Nathan and possible evil vampire bullshit on approach, Max frantically looked around the parking lot before remembering that she had no transportation on hand. Running through the edge of the woods on the other side of the parking lot, Max waited until she was deep enough in the trees. Crap, it's still daytime and I left the sports bottle with Chloe. I can run there but I'll be wiped and I'll have to be careful. Someone could be in the woods. Grinding her teeth as she fought back a growl of frustration, Max took off further into the woods.
The distance from the hospital to the lighthouse was painstaking, each structure being on one side of town adjacent to the other. Max's stomach heaved with a growing emptiness as she fell on her face and rolled down a hill as the pain in her stomach was met with an increasing hunger. Max felt her fangs pop out and had to concentrate in order for them to retract. Why couldn't I have taken my own damn ride? Shit. Shit! Max thought as she scrambled to her feet and sprinted again. She had covered half the distance through a series of short runs, but each successive sprint was taking longer than the last as she became more exhausted and hungry.
Letting out a low moan, Max felt the ground beneath her shift as her legs gave way. Her mind getting foggy, Max fought her fatigue and sprinted forward, gaining an even shorter distance than before as she nearly careened into a tree. Max felt something rise up in her throat and she coughed up brackish fluid that left her heaving as her entire body began to ache with hunger before seeing a small hand hover before her face.
"Come on. You can do it. Get up," Max heard a voice say to her. Her body quaking as she got to her knees, Max lifted her head. She would have screamed if her throat wasn't so raw from throwing.
Standing before the exhausted, crumpled form of Max Caulfield was…Max Caulfield. I'm delirious. I'm seeing things, Max thought as the other her standing in front of her pulled back the outstretched hand. The other Max was dressed in the clothes that the vampiric Max had worn on the night of her being turned, bloodstains on her white t-shirt and grey hoodie that glistened with the blood's freshness. The other Max's face was partly obscured, hair hanging over her eyes and blood spattered across the cheek that was above the wound on her neck.
"What's the matter?" the other Max asked, a sheepish grin on her face, "You look pretty bad."
"What the…?" Max asked, dazed with her eyes unable to completely focus, as she walked past the vision of her dead self before attempting to sprint. Landing only thirty feet or so from where she had taken off, Max felt her phone go off as she leaned against a tree as she dry-heaved again. Fuck. I feel like…Is this what death as a vampire feels like? It's like every fiber of my being is turning stiff.
"Look," the other Max said as she walked up to where Max was and pointed ahead. Max hung her head and sluggishly turned to see the parking lot for the lighthouse a short distance off, the gray streak of highway dividing the remainder of woods cutting her off from the hilltop path. Chloe.
"That's right. Chloe. She's in danger, Maxaroni, and needs you at your absolutely most terrifying," the other Max said as she wrapped Max's arm over a ghostly shoulder, "Hey, stay awake. Wowsers. You really do look like crap. Y'know, I think I'm glad you don't get to see yourself like this. It makes me feel like I might totally vom."
"Shut…shut t-the fuck up," Max slurred as she lurched forward, heading towards the highway and parking lot. Max felt her legs buckle and nearly fell before the Max that wasn't really there catch her and flash her a bloody smile as she helped Max back up.
"Did you even say goodbye to Mom and Dad before you ran off? I know you did with Chloe, that's so obvious. Did you say goodbye to your vampire buddy Henri before you ripped him to shreds? Did you cry? We always cry, we're a crybaby. It would be easier if we just caved sometimes, just let the rage loose. The worst thing, however, is that you turned Chloe into one of us," the other Max whispered in Max's ear before throwing her with inhuman strength from where they had stood to the treeline next to the road.
Max crawled across the asphalt as she heard soft footsteps behind her. Max tried to scream as a hand clutched at her hoodie and pulled across her the road to the parking lot. Lifting herself up from the ground, Max turned around and swung a fist into the other Max's face. The other Max turned her head back so that she was looking at Max with the same bloody smile as before.
"I was wondering when you'd try that, nerd," the other Max said before grabbing Max by the hair and pulling her towards the path. "Why do you keep dragging me along, huh? Why? I died. We died, and you shut me out and pulled me along with you. Now you've done the same thing to our Che, you bitch."
At "bitch", the other Max let the heaving vampiric Max fall to her knees and kicked at her face, pushing Max's back into the dirt. Max vaguely felt her phone vibrate and began to move her hand when she felt a sneaker slam onto her hand. Max cried out as the force of the stomping and her already exhausted state made the pain feel so real. Sobbing, Max began to cry out "Chloe…".
"That's right. Chloe. She's up there," the other Max said as she directed the half-conscious Max to where the lighthouse loomed over them, the hilltop being near. How…how did w-we get this close…? Max thought as her ghostly counterpart put a bloody hand on a hip, the old blue jeans coming away with a sticky red hand-print. Kneeling in front of a weakened Max, the ghostly vision kissed Max on the lips with bloody lips and stuck her neck wound in front of Max's face.
"Drink. The only way you can save Chloe is to kill me," the other Max whispered, sounding incredibly sad, "You put me in this position, and now you have to sacrifice us to save her."
Max shoved the other Max away from her face and climbed up the hill on her knees, swearing that she could hear something beating inside her chest. Looking down, Max saw that she was back at the basement in Seattle. Feeling her head, Max pulled back a bloody hand as her vision began to clear. Max got on her knees and looked down at herself. Usual blue jeans and hoodie, her white t-shirt with the doe on it, Max felt her body begin to shake as someone stalked around her in the dark. Hearing a low hiss, Max sat in the middle of the dimly lit area and pressed her knees to her chest as she cried.
A booted foot stuck its steel toe out of the shadows, the boot becoming a leg as the predator made its way into Max's vision. Max looked up and saw herself, who she was now and not this nightmare she was trapped in. Fangs bared in a seductive grin, the vampiric apparition knelt down next to Max and Max's mind whirled as the image of herself bit into her throat. Max screamed until it came out as a high-pitched gurgle, blood rushing up her throat.
"Get up!" the other Max snapped as Max found herself back at the lighthouse path. She wanted to cry, she wanted to just stop and be dead. No more. Please, no more.
"You don't get off that easy. What about-"
"Chloe," Max finished the other Max's thought and looked as the other Max faded away, a bloody grin being the last Max saw of the apparition.
Max slowly got to her feet, hearing a screaming noise and the sound of a gun going off from up ahead. That's too loud for a pistol, Max thought as something connected in her head. Looking around frantically, Max realized that the shotgun had been tossed somewhere around where she was currently standing along with the iron buckshot. No, Max thought as her head bobbed.
What Max saw when she reached the hilltop caused such devastation in her that she felt to her knees. Chloe was inching herself in Max's direction, tears running down her cheeks as she pulled herself forward. Her legs not moving, Max saw a bloody mess and smoke where the small of Chloe's back was. She's been hit with the buckshot. Oh…oh my god, Che… Max thought as Chloe looked up and saw her, whimpering "M-Max…" She's not capable enough yet to defend herself against that much iron.
"I kept texting you, hoping you'd show," Nathan Prescott said as he walked towards the kneeling Max, her arm outstretched toward Chloe's shaking hand. Max couldn't move, something was keeping her down. Is my body done? Am I done? Is this it? Max felt her chest seize as Nathan pointed the shotgun at the pulpy mess of Chloe's lower back. Both girls began to cry as Nathan lorded himself over them both before slinging the shotgun over his shoulder with a mocking grin.
"Told you that I fuck with you, creepy-ass bitch," Nathan said as he kicked at Max's face. Max felt her head get rocked back and she had to steady herself with a hand to keep from falling, afraid that if she fell she might not be able to rise again.
"Leave…leave us…" Max moaned, her eyes wandered around aimlessly as she felt herself begin to slip into unconsciousness before a crack across her jaw made her come to. Feeling numb, Max rolled her head up so that she could see Nathan.
"Did you think that you could do what you did to me and I would just hide? What about Victoria? You practically cut out her guts, fucking bitch!"
"I s-saved-" Max stuttered as she felt something burning inside as she made eye contact with Chloe, the blue-haired girl's legs beginning to spasm. What little healing Chloe's new form was capable of began to start as Nathan focused his attention on Max. Chambering another shell, Nathan brought the barrel an inch from Max's stomach and squeezed the trigger.
Max didn't feel the impact or the sizzle as iron was shot in her. Max felt the shudder of force impacting her, like a car lurching into reverse as she was moving forward. Max folded in half and cried out hoarsely as the movement made her insides feel like they were grating against one another. Max clutched at her stomach as she felt Nathan Prescott pull her back up by the hair. Nathan wasn't what Max saw, however, as she looked up.
The other Max was looming over her with the shotgun in hand. Gone was the blood and the wound, the malicious glint in her eyes. Dropping the shotgun, the other Max pulled back a sleeve and thrust a wrist at Max's mouth.
"You need me, to remind you of who you are. But I need you, to defend her," the other Max said as she nodded toward the frozen form of Chloe Price. Max swung her head around and saw that everything around them was frozen in time.
"But if I do this-"
"Maxaroni, don't you trust us?" the other Max interjected, putting the bared wrist to Max's mouth.
Max was so hungry. She could feel the pulse through the warm skin at her lips. Her fangs already out, Max gently pierced the skin and began to drink. Something in Max felt increasingly weak as another part grew stronger, then vice-versa as the sides of her began to balance out. She couldn't be human anymore because she wasn't human, but Max refused to be entirely vampiric. The realization that she had to embrace what she was while remaining who she is hit Max like a hammer to the back of her skull.
Nathan jerked back as Max suddenly lunged at him, knocking the shotgun aside with a desperate swing. He hadn't expected something that looked almost dead to pop up like it had a rocket underneath it. Max's upper body hung limp as she stood on surprisingly steady legs. Chloe's face was pressed into the dirt as the pain overwhelmed her and she began to cry again. Nathan backpedaled as Max lifted her head and looked at Nathan through the hair in her face, eyes a bright violet, and hissed malevolently.
"Chloeeeee," Max uttered as the image of Chloe smiling as they lay in bed together slowly formed in her mind. The image of Chloe dancing around the apartment after a night of pizza and alcohol with Dana and Juliet, of listening to Kate as she talked her progress with the photography class. Max watched it all and it only made her angrier. "How dare you? How dare you?"
Max hobbled over to Nathan with a quickness that neither expected until her face was inches from a terrified Nathan's, the boy frozen stiff before the monster standing in front of him. Her abdomen hissing and smoking, Max winced as she dragged her arms up and onto Nathan's shoulders. Panting, Max pressed her face into Nathan's and growled with her teeth gritted. Max felt something give inside her, her mind feeling clearer as she looked at Nathan with a curiosity that caught him off-guard.
Max looked back and saw that Chloe was staring at her with a frightened look. Smirking, Max turned her attention back to Nathan and put a shaky finger to his quivering lips, hushing him. Her eyes still flashing behind strands of coppery brunette hair, Max grinned as she leaned her forehead into Nathan's and she kissed his cheek.
"Do you remember? Huh? Do you remember what I said, last time we were here?" Max asked and heard Nathan begin to cry as she nuzzled his neck. "Well, I'm feeling kinda hungry, and you fucking shot my fiancé!"
Max's head reared back as Chloe screamed for Max to stop, Max plunging her fangs into Nathan's neck, a surge of energy simultaneously transferring from Nathan to Max as she stood more steadily while he fell into her arms.
Author's Note – Well, that was a thing. I'm thinking that I might have to change the categories this story is in to Horror/Romance, and would be interested in your opinions on that.
Some people have asked me about the vampire community which exists in this fic – the truth is that I've intentionally kept things kinda murky because Max herself has no real clue about them and I don't want us getting too far ahead of her. I kinda want you as readers and myself as the writer to go with Max and Chloe on this journey that is the story.
In the meantime, creepy, scary Max vs near-dead Max, who then turned into a Max that accepted her vampirism and bit into Nathan fucking Prescott?! I got anxious as I was writing the story from the point Max ran out of the hospital parking lot all the way to the end. I hope you did, too.
*LiS Stranger Secret Handshake* (^_^)/
Read, review, and I will see you for Chapter 2-0! Woo 20 chapters wooooo!