Ellie was easing into her new life in the Inquisition far more seamlessly than she had anticipated. She was good with change for the most part. Her life to this point consisted of a lot of changing scenery, people and purposes. She was on the road a lot, didn't actually have her own home. Not that she was destitute by any means but she had to travel frequently and never saw the practicality of having her own dwelling. The life of an assassin was a transient one.
Yet now that she had slipped into a new role indefinitely, she wasn't sure how'd she'd adjust to having a stationary location. She had surprised herself so far.
Ellie supposed that if she did ever start to feel stir crazy, at least she would be off adventuring here and there. In fact, she left for the Hinterlands at sunrise tomorrow with Solas, Varric and Cassandra. She didn't have much for personal belongings so it's not like she had much to carry with her. The clothes on her back, two daggers, and a place to lay her head were all she needed.
The rogue examined the weapons she had at her disposal since she had acquired them after the Conclave. She knew they would do the trick, and she had the blacksmith ensure they were razor sharp. But as she gripped the handles, not feeling quite comfortable yet, she knew she'd have to break them in a little before they left tomorrow.
Since she didn't have any pending tasks to fulfil at the moment, she made her way to the sparring dummies amidst the training grounds. As she rounded the corner out of the gates of Haven, a short-haired brunette was quickly spotted with dummies as well, striking blow after blow to the inanimate object. Absentmindedly twirling her blades deftly in her fingers, giving them their own little warm up, she wandered over towards the grounds.
As Ellie approached the Seeker, she made a pointed effort to avoid meeting the gaze of a certain Commander who she spied out of the corner of her eye. She refused to admit his attention excited her but, more importantly, she would not allow a handsome onlooker to hinder her sparring.
Cassandra knew the Herald was only a few feet away from her, but that didn't stop her from driving her longsword into the fake, plush figure emitting a noise of disgust. Ellie had understood what such vigorous training usually meant. Stress, frustration, hatred. Weapon wielding was a good outlet for anger.
"Are you alright? You seem worried."
The warrior snorted, "Is it that obvious?"
Ellie shrugged, "Oh, just a little."
Cassandra stopped taking her rage out on the dummy for a moment, opening about about the anxiety she had over the choices she made since the Inquisition started, since the catastrophe at the Conclave. "One day, they may write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right," she finished with a sigh.
The smaller woman of the two could empathize with the other's concern. It couldn't be easy making weighty decisions that would affect the entire organization, that could affect all of Thedas. "You had to make the decisions you have Cassandra, you didn't have another choice."
"Didn't I? My trainers had always accused me of being too brash, saying I must think before I act. But I see what has to be done and I do it." She turned her eyes to meet Ellie's, "But you, I misjudged. I cannot afford to be so careless again."
Ellie offered a knowing smile in an attempt to reassure the worried Seeker, "It's not like you had no reason to suspect me, Cassandra."
"I wanted to make someone pay for what happened at the Conclave. Anyone." Her voice was strong and determined as she turned to walk away. But she stopped, regarding the Herald again with a question, "You've said you don't believe you're chosen. Does that mean…. You also don't believe in the Maker?"
A loaded question. Ellie wanted to hope someone was sitting on the throne of the Golden City. But she was too jaded to say she was firmly convinced. All she did know was that there was no way in hell she would accept being 'chosen.' Not when so many others were lost in process. "I don't know," she admitted honestly.
Cassandra let out a huff, "I suppose it doesn't matter now. But I need to believe that the Maker put us on this path. Now it's just a matter of seeing where that path takes us." With that the Seeker left the training grounds altogether to slip back within the walls of Haven.
The Herald simply shrugged as Cassandra disappeared from sight and began stretching her neck and limbs to prepare. She glowered at her target, exhaling, before she sprang forward, blades drawn. She sank the metal into the stuffed cotton, then immediately retracted them and began a violent dance of spins, kicks and slashes. Someone of her expertise needed to learn how to be lightening on their feet, striking a blow, then moving, always staying three steps ahead. Granted, she would probably be more challenged if she was facing a moving target, but right now she just needed to get her heart rate up and feel the surge of adrenaline with every move she made.
After what only felt like a couple minutes, though realistically was probably closer to a half hour or more, the dual-wielding woman was finally starting to get in her zone, imagining who that target could actually be, which gave her the momentum to keep going. Until she heard a familiar voice behind her.
"Poor sod didn't stand much of a chance, now did he?"
Breathing heavily, she whirled around to meet the owner of the speaker only to find that he was much closer behind her than she anticipated. Her eyes travelled up to meet gold ones, that were only a few inches away and she involuntarily gulped. She became acutely aware in that moment of just how tall he was. He practically towered over her small frame, the top of her head barely reaching his stubble-covered chin. A smirk played on his lips and she suddenly felt self-conscious about the fact that she had sweat on her face and her hair was a tousled mess. But she could still play his game.
"Commander," she spoke a little louder than a whisper, the hint of seduction in her tone sliced through the works like a knife. When his eye contact nor his smug look didn't falter, she wet her lips before daring him, "I don't suppose you'd be so kind as to be this dummy's replacement? Hitting an unmoving target gets quite old after a while."
He chuckled, "Perhaps another day."
She was the first to back away slightly. With heat already flowing through her veins from her workout, she felt as though her nerves would short-circuit if she remained in such close proximity to him. Ellie still faced him however, a playful expression drawn in her features, and a hand placed on her hip, "How odd. The Commander of our army not willing to spar. Afraid you'll tarnish that shiny armor of yours or afraid you'll get your ass handed to you?"
It was the first time she heard the Commander laugh. Really laugh. A smooth, masculine sound she was determined to make happen again one day. Sooner rather than later, preferably. "I promise you, we'll have a match one day and we will see just whose ass gets handed to whom."
Ellie shook her head laughing as she tugged her daggers out of the sparring dummy and secured them to the holsters across her back. When she turned to face the Commander again, his smile was softer but he still had that coy twinkle in his eyes.
"Walk with me?" He requested softly, nudging his head north, a direction that, past the recruit's tents was free of people. She nodded and they began walking casually towards the tree-line.
In her peripheral, she noticed how his gloved hand was fixed on his hilted sword. A typical warrior's gesture. "You seem to have you're hands full with the new recruits," Ellie observed, breaking the silence as she was unsure as to why Cullen wanted to wander out here with him.
A silent chuckle, "You have no idea. They're eager to learn though, I'll give them that. Their ambition is there."
"Is there any particular reason we're out here?" Ellie asked, trying not to sound like she had better things to do. She probably did but whatever they were, they could wait.
"I…" His hand rubbed the back of his neck, "I suppose not. Forgive me, I needed a small reprieve from barking orders. If you have something else that requires your attention…"
Ellie held up her hand, "Not at all. I don't mind being a distraction." At his silence, she glanced over to see a blush creep across his cheeks.
How in the world can he go from sultry to shy in a matter of seconds?
"Tell me about Templar life," she offered, awkwardly trying to change the subject.
"I'm afraid if you're wondering about the Order's current affairs, I can't tell you more than you already know. Anything else, I will answer as best as I can."
She thought for a moment. "What made you decide to join the Order?"
"I wanted to help and protect people. The Order seemed like best opportunity to do that. I practically begged them to train me. They humored me at first, but I must've shown promise. Or at least a willingness to learn. The local Knight Captain spoke to my parents and convinced them to let me join. I was thirteen when I left home."
Ellie's head turned towards him, "Thirteen? That's still so young."
"I wasn't the youngest there. Still, I was eighteen before they let me take full responsibilities. The Order sees you trained and educated first."
His explanation made sense. Memories of her brother flooded her mind. He was not much older than Cullen had been when he decided to leave for the Order. His choice devastated her parents. And her, though, as she was at the tender age of ten at the time, she wanted to believe it was for the greater good. That he would be a hero. "How did your family take it? Did you miss them?"
"Of course," he admitted softly, "But there were many my age who felt the same. We learned to look out for one another."
The notion of camaraderie made her heart feel better about her brothers choice; he wasn't alone. This was one of the first times Ellie had had a relaxed conversation with a Templar.
Or.. Former Templar, she corrected herself.
She was ever so curious about the organization, mostly because she yearned to know what could've happened to her brother after he had left home. But conversing with the attractive Commander was a bonus she couldn't pass up.
"What did your training consist of? Lots of beating practice dummies senseless?" She quipped, referencing her earlier activities.
He smiled that dazzling smile of his as he looked at her.
Andraste, preserve me, her mind groaned, silently chastising herself for having these relentless ideas.
"There was some training that involved practice targets, but most of our combat and battle training used real, moving targets," he teased her.
She gasped in mock offence. "Well I would've had a real target if he wasn't too much of a pansy to fight me," she countered, reaching over to give his arm a playful shove.
And there was that laugh of his again, "It wasn't just all combat training," he said matter-of-factly, "We had to memorize portions of the Chant of Light, study history, and improve mental focus."
"Ah, studying and reciting the Chant. Sounds a little more like your cup of tea," she snickered, knowing he was wearing his trademark smirk. "Seriously though, did you enjoy your training?"
"I wanted to learn everything. If I was going to give my life to this, I wanted to be the best Templar there was."
"You were a model student then? I should've guessed."
He grinned, the smile transferring into his tone, "I tried to be. Didn't always work out that way though. Watching as a candle burned while reciting the Chant of Transfigurations was not the most exciting task. I'll admit, my mind sometimes wandered."
Ellie made a noise of comprehension, "I can't really blame you. I am curious as to what typical Circle life was like, I would imagine it was fairly regimented."
The Commander snorted, "I hardly remember the last 'typical' day in the Circle. But it did involve a lot of routine. For instance, there were certain rituals that required a full guard. Like a mage's harrowing. I've attended a few. For the most part you just have to be present, but remain alert to act if needed."
She nodded in understanding, "I can assume mages didn't take too kindly to your watchful eye?"
He shrugged, "They pretended to ignore that presence but they were always watching us just as closely." He sighed and Ellie glanced at him, drinking in his expression. It seemed remorseful or something along those lines. "Mages and Templars may be at war with each other, but to see so many of them killed all at once…" His sentence trailed off and she now understood why he bore that look. "We're finally getting the full manifesto of who were supposed to be there. Informing the deceased's families is never an easy task."
Ellie stopped dead in her tracks, the shocking realization ceasing her body's will to move. "You're the one who's dealing with the list of those who were lost?"
Cullen stopped a few paces in front of her, then angled himself to face her. The look on his face was cautiously mystified, "I am."
She opened her mouth to speak but snapped it shut, not sure if she should reveal the information about her lost brother. It felt like his eyes were burning into her, willing her to speak. She gazed up at him, concern etched on his face. "I would like to ask something of a favour of you then, but I would prefer it to stay between us," she offered, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
He took a step closer to her. "Of course. What is it, Ellie?"
Her skin prickled at the use of her name, the first time she'd ever heard it fall from his lips. It sounded lovely. And it broke what resolve she had left to keep this secret. "I, um…" She tripped, not knowing where to start, "The reason I was at the Conclave was because I was trying to track someone down." She dared to look at Cullen who was staring intently at her. She was wringing her hands now. Another nervous tick.
"My older brother left when I was young to join the Order as well. The day he left was the last day I ever heard from him. I had tried contacting him when he was at the Circle in Ostwick but he never wrote back. I assumed he wanted to leave us all behind and after a while, I think I somewhat accepted that." She took a deep breath, the admission being more difficult than she had anticipated, "I stopped trying after I discovered he had been transferred out of the Free Marches. But when the Mage rebellion began, I needed to find him, to make sure he was okay."
The Commander took another step near her, sensing where this might be going.
"I heard from a number of sources that he would be at the Conclave. I didn't actually see him there but…" she trailed off, looking at her feet.
Another pair of boot-clad feet came into her view, opposite hers. She clenched her eyes shut for a brief second before she flashed them up to lock with Cullen's.
"So," her voice was quiet now, timid, "If you find a Cain Trevelyan on that list, will you please let me know?" Again, she bit her lip and looked back down, not able to hold his eye contact any longer.
His eyebrows knit together. "I will let you know at once," he breathed, reaching out a gloved hand and gently placing under her chin, tilting it back up so she was gazing at him once more. "You have my word, Ellie," he vowed, releasing his hand from her face.
He backed a way a touch, giving her some space. She shot him an appreciative smile. "Thank you, Cullen."
He nodded back, pausing a moment while she regained her composure. She wasn't a crier, not by a long shot, but that didn't mean she was heartless or didn't feel emotional pain. She was just better at keeping it hidden.
"Is that why you're so curious about the Order?" the question jilted her out of her thought.
"Partially. I also realized that you being a Templar once was one of the only things I actually knew about you." The confession made the Commander smile softly. "There is one more thing I wanted to know about the Templars though, if you don't mind?"
"By all means, ask away."
She waited a moment, considering if she should really ask. "Do Templars have to take vows of celibacy?"
When Cullen appeared to choke on thin air at the question, Ellie knew that it was so worth asking.
"I beg you're pardon?"
Her eyebrow quirked up, "You heard me, Cullen."
The dumbfounded look was still evident on his face and she watched as his cheeks changed colour. He cleared his throat, "Well, uh, Templars can marry, for starters, though there are some rules around it. Some may choose to give up more to prove their devotion, but it's, um… Not required."
Ellie was enjoying this perhaps too much, "And what about you, Commander?"
"Me?" He asked, incredulous, "I, uh, no. I have taken no such vows. Maker's breath, can we speak of something else?"
Ellie couldn't hold back the howl of laughter any longer, revelling in the embarrassment of her advisor. "As you wish, Commander, that's all I wanted to know," she choked out between laughs as they made their way back towards the training grounds, a smile slapped on her face for the rest of the day, and a blush on his.