Warnings:Some angst coming up.
Chapter Ten
His father's diary is the root cause of all trouble, Teddy thinks miserably as he eyes the book sitting innocently at the spot near the window where he had flung it two days ago when he had come inside his room with plans of going out for dinner only to find Sirius sitting with a devastated look, the diary open in his hands.
Nothing Teddy had said had stopped Sirius from leaving in a frenzy, something dark behind his eyes and his voice loaded with anguish and anger. Teddy had always laughed at the thought of the Black madness, it isn't so funny anymore.
Then two days turn to a week and Teddy goes too far with his morphing. He knows that yet it doesn't stop him from strengthening his chin just a bit and changing his hair. Subtle changes but ones that make him look just like the man in the picture at a glance.
He Apparates to the alley beside 'Black antiques' and straightens his tee shirt before striding out the alley and into the shop with a tinkling bell as he enters. He smiles at the wind chime above; it had been a present from him and Harry when Sirius had first set the shop up.
Sirius comes with a smile to greet, effortlessly graceful in his movements around the objects and so very handsome, it makes Teddy's stomach flip until Sirius's smile drops.
"Moony?" It's the way he whispers that has Teddy realising what an absolute mistake it had been to do this. There is a strange ache in his chest at the look that passes on Sirius's face when he thinks it is Remus in here. Not Teddy. That look is not directed at Teddy. He gives up and his features return to his usual mix of brown eyes, turquoise hair and softer face. Sirius's eyes are all Teddy needs to look at to know how angry he actually is.
"I'm sorry," he blurts out. "I didn't think—"
"You had no right," Sirius interrupts coldly. "That was just—just go home, Teddy." Teddy feels uncharacteristically small all of a sudden; he has never been on the receiving end of Sirius's anger to this extent. He can see the trembling of his hands.
"Sirius. Look." Teddy makes his way towards the older man in between the aisle as he rushes into whatever explanation comes to his mind. "I shouldn't have done that; it was a stupid thing to—" The shatter of ceramic as Teddy bumps accidentally into a vase resounds around them and they freeze.
Teddy's heart thunders in his chest as fear of some kind claws at his heart when Sirius's eyes are glued on the intricate patterns of the broken ceramic. Oh Merlin! Sirius doesn't say anything as he mutters a 'Reparo' and pushes his hair back as if to hold his anger in; Teddy can see it in the way his hands grip his dark hair.
"I'm sorry," Teddy finds himself saying because he really is. Sirius however does not seem to acknowledge it and instead Teddy finds himself on the end of a blazing look full of anger and disappointment.
"Child, you're still such a bloody child." The way he spits the word out has never sounded so offensive to Teddy before. "Go home," he adds.
Teddy flees the shop and when he reaches his room, he collapses on his bed feeling hollow and worn out because he is terrified that something has broken between them and no amount of 'Reparo' is going to fix it.
OOooOO
Sirius has known all along what a terrible mistake it had been to get involved with Teddy in the first place. God, it isn't even the tiny portion of Remus in him, but all Teddy that has him enamoured, for lack of a better word.
Almost four days later, two days before the full moon, the ringing of bell on Sirius's doorstep startles him and he stretches before getting up from his chair to open the door. A few feet away from the door itself he has some idea of who it might be and he hesitates for a beat or two before cursing himself and opening the door to reveal a tired looking Teddy. He remains silent as he stares at him, heart aching to hold him.
"Can I come inside? I need to talk to you," Teddy says finally and Sirius steps away to let him inside the house. Sirius tries not to think about the last time they had been together in here. They reach Sirius's office and Sirius goes behind his desk to allow some distance between them.
"So…it's been a while, yeah?" Teddy tries but Sirius remains stony.
"Yes, it has. Get to the point, Teddy. What do you really want?" Teddy's expression morphs into slight despair at his attitude and his hair begins to turn brown which stops midway before Teddy seemingly forces it to return to its turquoise shade. He looks so young; he is so young.
"I—I just wanted to know if you'll be coming on Wednesday," he asks finally and Sirius decides to give him a break.
"Of course I'll be there. Whatever happens between us, you know I wouldn't do that to you, Teddy." Teddy looks relieved to hear that but also hesitant about something else. Sirius can see the decision warring on his features before he straightens and looks at Sirius directly.
"Okay, so tell me, what is happening between us now, Sirius?" Teddy is suddenly transformed into his usual, youthful, unbreakable self and Sirius realises that he cannot send him away this time.
"I think," Sirius starts carefully as he goes through what he has been thinking since that day at his shop, "I think what we did was a mistake, Teddy. You were young and I took advantage of your attraction." Teddy looks gob smacked before he recovers and slams his hands on Sirius's mahogany table. Sirius winces inside.
"Mistake? You're going to make years of our relationship sound like—like some kind of a joke? Are you bloody kidding me?" Sirius thinks he is doing a good job of keeping his cool in face of Teddy's loss of temper; it's oddly easy to be the adult one.
"It's not a joke, Teddy. But you have to admit that we were better as friends than whatever we became." Sirius's mouth is pretty much running off its own course, this is what is a mistake but it is the only way to save Teddy from a painful heartbreak.
What a lie; he is the one that cannot handle another heartbreak in his life.
"You mean 'lovers'?" Teddy throws back without missing a beat, "is that the word you can't find in your vocabulary? This is just—" he throws his hands up in frustration as he breaks off.
"Pointless? Unnecessary? Teddy, I've told you what I think. You should go home and rest before the—"
"Don't tell me off like I'm a child!" Teddy shouts now, he has angry tears in his eyes as he looks at Sirius but there is also an edge of desperation in his voice. He is so young, Sirius is reminded again. "What about what I think, Sirius? Two years, Sirius. That's a long time for anybody. You can't just disregard us like this. I—" Sirius swallows around the ache in his throat and interrupts before Teddy can continue.
"Two years isn't a long time for everyone." Sirius has been called cruel often but this is one of his rarer moments when he realises that people weren't lying after all. The effect his words have on Teddy is instantaneous. He blinks once, closes his mouth, hardens his jaws and steps back with a blazing look full of so much hurt that Sirius curls his fingers into his palm to keep himself from ruining everything he has just done.
Teddy's mouth curls into a sneer, "Good to know what you think, Sirius." He storms away and slams the door on his way. It is for the best.
OOooOO
He is giving the excuse of his job but inside, he knows he is actually running away for the first time, because he feels hopeless, broken-hearted and almost wishing he had never known what loving Sirius was like. Then to have him actually accompany him during the full moon and patching him up even though Teddy can take care of himself and then leaving before he had woken up said everything that Teddy needs to know.
He packs more of his clothes this time, not sure when he will be ready to come back. Victoire is still playing the part of a jilted lover since his coming out with Sirius and the loss of her friendship hurts, to be honest. Aunt Fleur is not any more welcoming than her daughter.
Harry has constantly been telling him to keep in touch and the like, as if sensing Teddy's unspoken decision and he really does feel awful about it all but then, Harry has a family to anchor him; Teddy has only himself. Gramma does not really count, he can't just go running back to her, not after the way Teddy has hurt her with his affair with Sirius.
He sits on the edge of his bed for a minute's break when, as if reading his mind, his father's diary seems to have come out of nowhere, peeking out beneath his dressing table. Teddy reaches down to extract it and remains sitting on the ground as he runs his fingers over the leather cover, feeling the weight of all its secrets in his hand. He contemplates burning the damn book for all the trouble it has caused.
Teddy leaves the next day—a day earlier than scheduled—on a Muggle plane to Amman, his handbag full of necessities where he slips his father's diary. For all that it is worth; he cannot bring himself to part with this one tangible piece of his father's.
OOooOO
Hermione explains it to him, explains reasonably that Remus had not actually sacrificed himself, he had died in battle and Sirius's life had come back in that exchange.
But none of that dull the edges of Sirius's depression that lasts for a long time. He cuts himself off from Harry and his happy family; he can't bear to be near everybody. The pitying looks, the worried glances and tiptoe-ing around the topic of either Remus or Teddy has Sirius flying away to avoid everyone he knows.
Teddy finds himself delving into his work with the sole focus of losing himself in it. The heat, the sand and their new dig has him occupied. It's good this way.
Teddy gets called by a bark from Marfain, his supervisor and he is introduced to a new recruit—Essam— and instructed to break him in. Teddy is shocked to be handed such a responsibility and frankly annoyed enough to refuse him. But then Marfain drops a line about a promotion and Teddy holds himself back. He grudgingly shows Essam around.
"This is hard work, yes?" the boy pants out of breath, "but this is good, I may have a body like you now." Teddy raises an eyebrow as he takes in the boy's appearance and is pleasantly surprised to find that his dark complexion is actually very attractive. He also finds the way he pronounces 'this' as 'zis' very likeable for some reason.
"Why do you say that?" Teddy asks curiously, watching him, "do you like what you see?" Essam blushes.
"Yes, very much." Teddy pats him on the shoulder and moves on to further explanation of the collected artefacts. Fuck Sirius, he is going to move past him. And fast.
AN: Thank you everyone for the support!Enjoy the happy chapter while it lasts. :)