Chapter Nine

Ichigo knelt at Shiro's feet, a very unconvincing scowl trying to mask his nerves.

Shiro frowned as the scene played over and over in his mind. He had caught them kissing; J and Ichigo kissing! It was disgusting, it was careless, it was-it was...

It was heartbreaking. Thin pale fingers grasped the material around where his heart was as it fluttered from the mixed emotions thrust so suddenly upon him.

Ichigo let his eyes slowly moved from the hardwood flooring, up Shiro's dress pants covered legs, until finally his gaze lock in on saddened gold eyes. Disappointment leaked from Shiro's body, filling Ichigo up and up until he could almost not handle the overbearing pressure.

"I'm sorry." Ichigo pleaded. Sobs threatened to escape his mouth, but he sealed his lips together tightly to hold them in.

"Do you want ta leave me? Do you want ta go with them, fight fer them?" Shiro closed his eyes and held his breath.

"Of course not! I want you, only you, Master. Always you."

"That's wha' I thought."

Ichigo's body shook with anticipation. The fog that revealed his future only worsened as this fiasco got more and more out of hand. Ichigo loved Shiro, but Shiro didn't love him back. Now this 'Jase' character made the moves on Ichigo, but Ichigo couldn't do it. He wouldn't.

"I'm so sorry, Shiro." Ichigo brought his bottom lip into his mouth to chew on. He hadn't meant to let Shiro's name slip, but the albino didn't seem to care about the slip-up. Nothing was said for a few minutes, and as the soft tick of the seconds going by echoed in the room, Ichigo realized something. Shiro was being protective. Maybe he just needed a little coaxing.

So Ichigo stood up, gauging each reaction the similar looking man made as he wobbled on his feet. A newborn horse taking his first steps.

"Shiro," Ichigo liked the way his name sounded out of his own mouth. "You don't need to be afraid."

A feral growl ripped from the older man's throat. "I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid of anything!"

"It's okay." Ichigo started again, speaking softly as if Shiro were a delicate creature waiting to dart. "I won't leave you, so don't be afraid. I don't like seeing you like this."

"What do you know about fear, Ichigo? What can you possibly know about fear?" Ichigo didn't say anything, but held his head up against the albino's words.

"That's right, you know nothing of fear, Ichigo, so don' speak of that to me like you understand what I go through."

Memories of bruising kicks and cruel words flooded Ichigo's mind, and if he hadn't been feeling fear during those times, he didn't know what to call it. Ichigo knew what it was like to fear for you life, whether his master knew it or not.

"You're not weak if you're afraid. What are you afraid of, Master?"

Again Shiro only sat still, quietly avoiding Ichigo's suddenly intrigued eyes. Ichigo was searching for answers he himself didn't know. Ichigo cleared his throat.

"Do you want to know what I'm afraid of?" He took the silence as a yes. "I'm afraid of spiders, and messing up when I'm patching someone up. I'm afraid of losing everyone who dares to care about me," Ichigo didn't miss Shiro's eyes widening.

"And I'm afraid that you'll give up on me and cast me away. That is what I fear most, because you're all I really have left, Master."

"Get out of my room." Shiro growled as he stood, a dark aura swirling around his body, but water sliding in small trails down his pale cheeks. Ichigo had struck a nerve...or four.

The orangette shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his slacks and nodded before turning to leave. Right before exiting the room Ichigo put his hand on the door frame and sighed.

"If you need anything, call me. And...please take what I've said into consideration. Hate looks terrible on you, Shiro."

The door finally closed and Shiro sucked in a deep breath. His heart was racing, and his mind was racing faster. When had Ichigo's words started to effect him? When had he become so lax with a servant?

When did he finally find emotion confined in himself so deep that only an orange haired man could find it?

Shiro felt his legs start to shake, and he took a seat on the dirty floor, not minding the stains that would probably litter his white shirt.

"When did everythin' change, Ichi?"

J let the smoke fall from between his lips and to the sky in gentle wisps. It was magical. His brother had disappeared a few hours ago, but J didn't really care. The only thing he really cared about right now was probably groveling at his master's feet, with orange hair and piercing eyes. J didn't agree with the way Shiro treated his little traffic cone, and his blood pressure started to rise merely at the thought.

"Hey, Ja-, hey J."

"Nice save."

Ichigo smiled as he came out of the shadows and stood next to the shorter man. "I do what I can."

Jase adjusted his glasses when Ichigo came into view, becoming self-conscious with the berry around. Ichigo watched the movement, along with the slight blush on J's cheeks, and smiled.

"I'm supposed to wear glasses too, you know. Never liked them on me, didn't look right."

"I highly doubt that."

"It's true!" Ichigo threw his hands up dramatically. Being around the other mafioso was really natural, and Ichigo felt more comfortable around him than any other person, even Rukia.

"Alright then," J suggested. Ichigo's view of the front lawn was obscured when J dangled his glasses in front of his tan face. "Put 'em on."

Ichigo gave him an incredulous look.

"Please?"

Ichigo sighed and grabbed the glasses roughly, sitting them on his nose like he would have worn his own. The lenses blurred everything in sight, and Ichigo laughed as he almost stumbled.

"You can't see for shit."

"Don't mock me, Traffic Cone. Ain't nice." J said jokingly. As of now, he was looking at the world with blurry eyes like Ichigo, only seeing pretty colors blend together like a good acid trip. The blue of the sky overpowered most of the other colors, but J could still point out Ichigo's pretty orange hair like it were completely clear to him.

"Here." Ichigo handed the glasses back and blinked to refocus his eyes.

"Oh, by the way," J ruffled Ichigo's hair while lightly laughing. "You look way hot with glasses on. You should wear them more often. Maybe Shi would notice you then."

Ichigo's smile fell and his lungs caught on the sudden and forceful intake of breath. He coughed for a moment, and J only watched as the younger man tried to clear his lungs.

"What-What did you just say?"

"You look hot with glasses?" J guessed with a shrug. Ichigo gave him a pointed look.

"Okay, okay. I said Shiro would notice you. The way you look at him..." J's voice came out in a whisper, and he turned away in favor of looking off into endless blue sky. "I could tell. I'm just surprised he hasn't noticed yet."

"I'm sorry." Guilt flooded Ichigo's veins, and traveled until he was consumed with it. J had known. J had known.

"Don't apologize, Ichi. Soon you'll see, and I won't give up until you do."

Ichigo quickly walked around with confusion on his face until he was standing in front of the smaller man, causing their eyes to lock in a small duel.

"See what?" Orange eyebrows furrowed, and J stifled a laugh at the cute image. Oh God, J wanted him. All of him.

"You'll see that you don't want Shiro." J leaned in close, and for a second Ichigo thought he was going to kiss him. Lips settled on centimeters from Ichigo's ear, and the warm breath that blew on it caused a vicious blush to form.

"You'll see that you want me, Ichi, because I want you." Ichigo sucked in a sudden breath as the tip of J's nose traveled along his neck, almost tickling.

"And I won't give up until you're mine."