Little Bonnie did not know how to think of being separated first from her mother and now her father whom she so dearly loved. She was taken aback by Her father's appearance and new attitude toward her one day when Melly let her come get one of her dolls she insisted on bringing. Instead of Rhett greeting Bonnie with his normal fun loving manner he seemed quite distant. Bonnie was somewhat used to a certain distance from her mother, but Bonnie admired Scarlett anyway. She was not used to this type of portrayal from her father. He looked like a sleepwalker. He gently kissed her cheek and he looked so dazed when she came through the entry and she thought he might let her walk on past. "How's my best sweetheart?" he asked.
"Daddy, when are we coming home? I miss you and mother. Especially our rides together."
He sounded tired "isn't Mrs. Wilkes good to you princess?"
"Oh, yes Daddy. Auntie Melly gives us cake as much as we want and lemonade, and we make cookies for the boys."
Rhett held a defeated look. "Bonnie, I hope it will be soon."
Bonnie thought he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. The only other time Bonnie had ever heard him sound even close to being this tired was on the ship on their way back from London. She would sometimes awake late at night and see him by her lamp light. He would be sitting in the armchair by the fire running his fingers over a large green rock. Once, she had heard him let out a sad sigh and say her mother's name. She kept her eyes partly closed and just peering out from her covers not wanting him to know she was awakened by his calling. Mother was calling for Daddy all of the time. "Scarlett," he had sighed then continued pressing that rock to his lips, "My sweet pet, if only giving you this sentiment meant to erase all that has gone wrong between us was as easy as lavishing you with things as I did during the war." Bonnie didn't know what had gone on, but the matrons were always whispering about her mother during their sewing circles when they didn't know she and Beau Wilkes were playing hide and seek around the corners. "That poor child" they would say. "How simply awful for such an adorable bright young thing as Bonnie Blue to have a mother like Scarlett. Why she couldn't mother a cat. It had to be that incredibly dumb winch and captain Butler who brought young Beau Wilkes because Scarlett certainly would have killed the child and Melly both in the process. I do think Melly embellished." After something awful had happened just before her trip that put everyone even the house servants in a sour mood and sent everyone talking. Her mother and Daddy attended a party for Uncle Ashley, but she, Wade, and Ella had to stay home. Due to the gloom of the evening they were fed and put to bed early. Prissy had lit the bedside lamp and not said hardly a word about her daddy or when he would be back. The next morning though, mother was in the best mood Bonnie could ever recall seeing her. She was singing songs and when she saw Bonnie trying to do her hair since her daddy wasn't there to brush it; she dressed it for her. The whole day had been a glorious event except Daddy wasn't there to enjoy it with them. Mother had shown pictures of places where he had traveled. She spoke of Tara and talked about much loved times before the war. Bonnie had heard Scarlett speak of Tara at times and she knew Tara was the place she went when she had gone away. Bonnie had asked mother if Tara was a castle that had a prince. Scarlett's face had lit with excitement.
"Far from it' Wade had said.
"Wade Hampton, don't talk like that about Tara. One day you too will come to love it. Bonnie, instead of a prince more like a pirate." replied Scarlett.
Bonnie had instantly thought of her father and all of his stories of the blockade. "Does this pirate bring the princess treasures?"
"Always" Scarlett had said with that radiant smile Bonnie noticed she had whenever she saw or spoke of Rhett.
The happy mood that was over the house hold did not last though. When Rhett had come home, he had asked Bonnie if she would like to see the sites of London. Her mother had come in red faced. Bonnie could not remember a time she had ever seen her mother without rouge. Her hair was carelessly pinned back and stray pieces were falling out of her chignon. She began gathering Bonnie's things for her. When Bonnie had asked if Scarlett would be going on this trip Scarlett had tried her best to smile saying, "Not this time." Bonnie noted that her mother looked sad and angry at the same time. The few days her father had been gone her mother's temper had flared up again and everyone even Mammy was on egg shells around her when she had been present. So, when Bonnie saw this outburst of emotion from her father she concluded that mother must not have wanted them to leave based on the way she had looked. It always seemed that mother and Daddy never could say how they really felt about some of the silliest things when it was perfectly obvious to Bonnie. In her young observations she did not understand love, but she knew how mothers face lit up for an instant whenever her father came to supper. Daddy almost always called mother "pet or dearest no matter how heated he seemed to be." Bonnie spent a long time watching her mother and father just to see. She learned their actions were quite different from the things they said. Watching them closely, they looked like the people in her fairy tale picture books. When Wade got tired of reading them to her, she memorized them. But mother and Daddy did not speak to one another that way. To hear them talk to one another and live in that large home was like being trapped in an evil castle under some kind of spell. There had to be some way to break it bringing forth the love that was hidden.
For the next week, Melly constantly found Rhett disheveled and unkempt. She and Mammy had tried to convince him several times to take time away, but he refused to leave her bedside. This time he wanted to be there when she would awake. He did not want to believe the doctors warning and that she was not showing any signs of improvement. Rhett had sent back all of his trays practically untouched. Food was the last thing he wanted to think about. Day after day of Melly seeing Rhett in such a state she took it on herself to speak to him. She surprised herself at her words because she had never been so forthcoming with anyone especially a man, "Rhett, I can't stand to see you do this to yourself. If Scarlett were to wake and see you in this condition she would have a fit. Why it would ruin her impression of her captain in the fine tailored suits who waltzed his way right in to her heart. Go get a fresh change of clothes and a hot meal and I think you will find you'll feel much better. I'll call you if there is any change." Rhett not being used to hearing Miss Melly speak so openly reluctantly went and followed her advice. He stood in front of the mirror freshly shaven in a new set of clothes. For the first time he felt he didn't recognize himself. Even though he had the best suits that Scarlett did love, he didn't feel like much of a man in it. His wife was dying in the next room and he was powerless. If only he had been more of a man and faced things differently instead of caving to his jealousy. At the dining table Mammy brought a hot meal and told him she wanted to see him eat it. He picked over it slowly. Melly had been right in a way. He looked refreshed to the eye with his new clothes and the food had been filling, but it did not take away the empty feeling that continued plaguing him. Rhett retreated to the darkened library. Aside from the dining room it was his favorite room. Now, he sat in his favorite armchair in front of the fire. The warmth and gentle glow of the fire was keeping him somewhat protected from the hostile world that lay just outside the door. His thoughts raced through his head like the pictures on the stereo graph. Everything from his boyhood in Charleston to the gold rush in California. He had been so care free. He thought he had everything he could ever want. That was until he had lane eyes on her. No matter how he tried to amuse himself with countless women, dancing, and finearies; as the war began to halt everything; more women began to appear in the black mourning he hated so much. Yet, he could not forget that fiery green eyed cat he had crossed at the 12 Oaks plantation. From that moment and when he held her at the bazaar he knew she had taken him. as he sat there the old grandfather clock sitting out within the hall could be heard chiming eleven. Everyone else had long since gone to bed. Rhett found that he couldn't give into sleep. Scarlett's face, body and soul consumed his every waking moment. While they fought just like the Yankee's and the Confederate soldiers of the Civil War days, it was easy to see that they loved each other, but alas things like happily ever after and making passionate love didn't always happen. Putting his head within his warn, withered hands Rhett side and decided to give sleep another go around.
Over the next days Rhett became more despondent. Staying by Scarlett, he had withdrawn even from the children he loved so much. His mail lay in a pile on his desk in the study. He had rejected all calling cards and visitors from the old guard trying to offer any comfort. Most of the food that was brought he asked be given to the servants. Rhett knew he had probably ruined his reputation again by not receiving. He was grateful Melly could keep Bonnie in among the old guard at least for now...right now Wade and Ella had no one and no place except for Melly and their Aunt Pitty. If he really was going to lose Scarlett; he would take them far from here. Somewhere this would all be a distant memory. Mammy relayed in a closed conversation to Mellie that Rhett was clearly looking for strength within her but when he could not find any he was giving up himself. He had gone from sitting at Scarlett's bed in to a reclusive state where he secluded the both of them and only tried to find some way to keep her going. He requested Pork keep ice blocks cut in small chips so he could give it to her to keep her hydrated. It was not an uncommon scene for Mammy or Mellie to find him holding the crystal tray and tediously putting the small pieces to her lips softly coaxing her.
Having checked on his wife, Rhett was just coming out of her room when he ran into Prissy. As she passed him in the hallway, she told him she had set out some fresh coffee for him in the sitting room. Feeling in need of some refreshment, he made his way there. After pouring himself a cup, he let the first sip of coffee run through him, hoping it would help his rapidly deteriorating mood. With a frustrated sigh, he let himself drop to the sofa. How could things have gotten this bad between he and his wife? Rhett knew Scarlett wasn't the only one to blame for the current shape of their relationship. Had he been paying more attention before he left her, he might have seen some of the signs that things were slowly beginning to change for the better. But, it just seemed too easy and he had a hard time accepting that and had taken the fast way out, which he was only now starting to realize was where he had gone wrong. He had already tried to make a life without her, but everything seemed to keep pulling him back to her. His thoughts kept returning to the one thought he didn't want to have: what would he do if she died? How would he be able to go on without her? At least while she was alive, he had a choice. He could come and go from her as he pleased. But, a life where he had no choice suddenly did not seem as appealing. Of course, he had the children. While they had so much of their mother in them, they would never be able to fill her shoes, or the place in his heart that she held. No, Scarlett had to live! And she would be just fine, and maybe, just maybe they could work on fixing their marriage. She had been calling for him, had missed him while he was away. And, she had shown evidence of wanting and grieving for the baby she had lost...his baby. Didn't that count for something? At least he knew she had some type of feelings for him. Maybe they could work and build off of those feelings, and perhaps they might have more children. Apparently, she had even gone about trying to mend her relationship with the older children, and that said a lot about her true intentions. As he let his mind wander, he absent mindedly looked around the room when his eyes fell on one of the many magazines Scarlett enjoyed reading. He picked it up with the intention of flipping through it, when he noticed a corner folded back on one of the pages. There, with a big circle around it and the word "Someday" written in Scarlett's hand writing, was a picture of the most intricately built villa. Before he had time to seriously contemplate why she had book marked the page, Rhett was suddenly pounced on by a blur of blue.
Once Bonnie landed in her father's lap, she looked up at him with eyes the same shape as her mother's. "Daddy, will you play with me?"
He looked back at her and asked, "Well, what would you like to play?"
With a big grin she blurted, "I wanna play hide 'n' seek! Please can we play that?"
Rhett was quick to give in. He needed a distraction, and this seemed to be just the thing. "Okay. You go hide, and I'll come try to find you."
With a squeal of delight, she took off to find a hiding place. Rhett knew it would be easy to find Bonnie. She was probably in one of her three favorite hiding spots. After counting to ten out loud, he left the sofa in search of his daughter. When he finally found her, she insisted he take a turn to hide. Bonnie wasn't very good at counting out loud by herself yet, so he had to help her count while trying to hide. Being the loving and considerate father that he was, Rhett made it easy for Bonnie to find him. And, so the game went on for about half an hour.
Later that evening, Melly insisted Rhett and the children eat as a family. Wade and Ella came down from the nursery. The meal itself was a quiet affair. The older children new their mother was not well, but did not know how badly she was really doing. Bonnie seemed to sense that something wasn't right, and asked her father about it. "Daddy, where's Mama?"
Rhett had to think about how much of the situation he wanted the children to know. He wanted to be honest with them, but he didn't want to scare them. Before he came up with a response, Wade beat him with his own answer. "She's sick, isn't she Uncle Rhett? She fell down the stairs and got hurt and that's why she's not coming down for dinner."
Ella looked up from her plate adding, "Is that why we're staying with Aunt Melly?"
Three pairs of eyes were looking intently at their father waiting for confirmation to Wade's statement. Taking a deep breath, Rhett set about answering the children's questions about their mother, and hoping to calm their fears. "Yes, it's true. Your mother had an accident and fell down the stairs. She has some broken bones and bruises, but she's going to be fine." He purposely did not tell them that Scarlett had a very high fever and how he was worried that if her temperature didn't come down soon, she might not get well.
"Uncle Rhett?" asked Ella.
"Yes, sweetheart?" he replied.
"When will mother be able to come down for dinner with us?" Ella inquired.
While Rhett knew Scarlett wasn't the most nurturing mother, he knew that the older children were still apprehensive toward her. But, the fact that little, timid Ella was asking about her mother with a courageous emotion proved the fact Scarlett was making an effort where the children were concerned. "I don't know, honey. She's still very weak right now. It's going to take some time for her to heal enough to even be able to get out of bed. But, I do know that as soon as she's able to, you're mother will be down here having dinner with you as fast as she can." As an after thought, he added "And while your mother is recovering, she is going to need you all to be on your very best behavior. That means not fighting with each other, no yelling or running around inside the house, and making sure your school lessons are done correctly. Do you understand?" Three heads nodded up and down and three little voices responded 'yes, sir'.
Bonnie still did not seem to understand that her mother wouldn't be herself for quite a while. "I want Mama!"
"Uncle Rhett, may we please see mother?" asked Wade.
Rhett was less than thrilled at the idea of the children seeing their Scarlett so soon after her fall. It wasn't that he wanted to keep the children from their mother, and he hated that it felt like he was undoing the work Scarlett had put in toward rebuilding her relationship with them. The fact that Scarlett was really not doing so well was the real reason he denied the children a visit with their her. "Not tonight, children. It's too late for a visit, and it is almost time for you to be going back to Aunt Melly's. We'll see how things go and maybe in a few days we can go see her."
Just then, Ella looked up with another one of her observations. "I saw the doctor's carriage arrive just before supper. He's going to make Mother all better won't he?"
Rhett drew in a breath. He did not want the children to know of Dr. Mead's disappointing news of the past few days. "We can certainly say our prayers." He answered. There, that bought him some time. Scarlett's fever would more than likely go down in the next day or so...hopefully. Little did he know, Scarlett's body had other ideas and it would literally take a fairy tale miracle to change the destiny fate had planned.
After supper, Rhett found himself pacing the parlor awaiting the report from Dr. Mead. His eye caught the magazine he had thumbed through earlier and he picked it up to examine it more closely. If only Scarlett had asked for such an intricacy such as this simple little haven she had picked out among the pictures instead of this monstrosity. They might be there now. Just maybe things could be different. Closing his eyes, he tried to picture them there when he heard a rumble of thunder in the distance. Instantly, he felt his daughter's small frame nestle against him and her small hands grasping his sleeve. "I want Mama." Bonnie whimpered.
Rhett drew her closer. "Mother is resting right now."
"Mama always counts with me so we know when the thunder will come." she insisted.
Perhaps Scarlett had been a little more involved where he had not given her credit. As soon as a flash of lightening lit up the parlor, Rhett pulled his sobbing daughter closer and began counting for her. True enough, Rhett had discounted his wife on many levels where the children had been involved. It had not been long before the trip to London when Rhett stood outside the nursery watching a scene between Scarlett and their young daughter unfold in one of the gilded mirrors.
"Bonnie, I heard you calling for Daddy from my study, but I'm sorry he isn't here. He'll be back directly." Scarlett chided.
Bonnie was sitting on her neatly maid bed looking as though she might pitch a fit at any moment. "Mother, Wade is playing dumb army games with Beau and Ella won't let me play with her paint set. Prissy went to gather the eggs and Mammy is baking today. It is raining outside and Daddy isn't here to play with me. There is no one to amuse me. It's so dreadfully boring!"
Scarlett went and knelt beside Bonnie. Stroking Bonnie's cheek she said gently, "There, now it can't be all that bad! I'm sure we can find something for you to do until your Daddy gets back." Bonnie perked up a little. She looked hopeful when she started to speak and then her face fell as she asked Scarlett, "You wouldn't want to help me would you?" Scarlett smiled, "I could use a break anyway. What would you like to do?"
"I have to get ready for my outing with Daddy." Bonnie excitedly explained.
Scarlett tried not to let her expression change. "And where is Daddy taking you today?"
Bonnie was quick to continue, "He says we are going to a tea house, but he doesn't know it is really a castle."
"A castle? And what kind of castle is this?" Scarlett asked her face looking at Bonnie curiously. Bonnie ran over to her large 3 story finely furnished doll house and took out two of the large dolls. "Its a castle a lot like Tara. You see this girl and boy." Bonnie set the two dolls on the floor in front of Scarlett. The lady doll had long brown hair with a porcelain face- then delicate features to match. She wore a white satin ball gown with little glass buttons down the front and lace adorning the collar and flowing sleeves. The mate was dressed in a suit with the jacket and cravat to match.
"Yes they are very nice." Scarlett replied.
Bonnie took out the smaller doll who wore a pale blue dress made of velvet. A ribbon held her flowing blonde curls. "They live here, but they have a secret castle that they only tell me about. The little girl invited me."
"I see" Scarlett said. "And these people you know them well enough to go off to their castle?"
Bonnie's face lit up. "Oh, yes, they are a perfect family from the picture books. They are Like you and Daddy. He takes her on carriage rides all of the time when they go to the castle. She has diamonds more than you can count. But he just keeps bringing them to her. Why last week he brought her a great big diamond tiara and she said -Darling you don't expect me to wear this-? Why it is simply vulgar? He said, - Why my dearest pet, it is simply why I bought it. It is only fitting for you.-."
Scarlet laughed. "Bonnie, you do have one imagination. Now let's get you ready for that castle trip." Scarlett took Bonnie's rabbit shawl and put it around her shoulders pulling it snugly. "I hear Castle can get quite cold so you will want this. I'm sorry I don't have any tiaras to lend you. That is one thing your father has never brought me"
"But he would if you asked him to?"
"Oh, I'm sure and he would find some way to make a mockery of it." Scarlett clinched her teeth slightly at the mention of it and flashed a glance down at her large diamond and emerald wedding ring. She straightened a few of Bonnie's curls that had fallen out of place and kissed the top of her head. "Now, that's all done. Why don't you wait in the parlor? Daddy shouldn't be to much longer."
"Yes mother." Bonnie was headed to the door when she stopped and turned back to Scarlett with a hopeful glimmer in her eyes. "Mother, do you think Daddy would take us to a castle?"
Scarlett sighed and looked a little disappointed. "We don't have any castles around here precious. A long time ago, we used to have plantations that were like castles in their own way. And there were the grand balls… " she let her voice trail off as if thinking back. Quickly regaining her composure, Scarlett replied, "It never hurts to ask."
Bonnie seemed to take interest in her mother's last comment as she admired Scarlett's fine jewelry saying, "Mother, I wish I could attend a ball."
Scarlett smiled down at her young daughter. "One day Bonnie, you will, and all of the hearts will be yours."
Bonnie smiled and ran out the door finding Rhett waiting for her in the corridor.
"Rhett." His thoughts were interrupted by the urgency in Dr. mead's voice. He looked up to see the doctor walking toward him. Something about his disposition and the way he spoke made Rhett's heart sink. His bag was carelessly thrown over his arm and he seemed to be walking with great purpose. Rhett quickly got up from the sofa to meet with the doctor. Bonnie followed in protest. "Daddy, your not counting." She sniffed.
"Bonnie be a brave girl. I must go see your mother. Go with prissy. She will count with you." As Rhett followed the doctor; he could still hear Bonnie's cries as Prissy took her away.
When Bonnie was out of sight, the doctor spoke, "I didn't want to make a scene in front of the child. Go and be with her. Her fever has broken leaving her in a weakened state. In addition, she has lost a lot of blood during this ordeal. How she has made it this far I cannot explain. I am afraid this may be the end."
Rhett walked up the stairs with the doctor following behind him. He felt like a sleep walker. This couldn't be true. They had always put up defenses against one another like sparring partners. Never revealing any emotion for fear the other would use it as a weapon. Now, it was all so clear. Rhett had created his own prison; always trying to make Scarlett forget Ashley instead of trying to be the husband she needed. She was merely a child when she'd had to face the realities of the war and keeping up her family. If only he'd spent more time familiarizing himself with her habits so that he could have made her feel safe from the things she feared. He had been told she had called for him, but he just needed to know did she really feel that way.
Just outside Scarlett's door the doctor stopped him again with a wave of his hand, "She specifically asked we send for you soon as we could understand what she was saying. I am not one to entertain idol gossip but you are to see she remains calm. No guilty confessions from either of you to unload your burdens. You let her go easy. Some things are better left unsaid."
Rhett entered the room to see Scarlett writhing in the bed. He looked on helplessly approaching the large bed that was the focal point of her room. Standing with his hand on the large carved bed post, he briefly thought of all the memories they'd had in this room; there were so many. From the passion nights and nightly conversations that filled the beginning of their marriage: Bonnie had been begat in this bed along with the child they lost. Then, in her attempt to somehow remain faithful to Ashley she had wanted him to leave saying she didn't want any more children. There were nights he knew she wanted him by the way she would pace waiting for him to return from games at Belle's, but he was not willing to let her use him that way. She had turned this room that he called the sanctuary in to her own prison. Now, it looked as though she were going to die here. Why had things not been better and more clearly defined between them? When her fit seemed to subside, he noticed her eyes were half open. They still held the glazed look. It appeared they were looking around the room for something or someone. Her face was still drawn in a look of pain. Now, he remembered seeing this look before but he had not associated it with such pain. Just before Bonnie was born she had held the same look. He had a miniature painted of her to remember how he thought she looked like the Madonna with child. To this day it still sat on the mantelpiece in his room next to each of the ones he had painted on her birthday and Christmas. Right before he left Dr. Mead to bring Bonnie; he remembered taking in her face. He had been so consumed with joy that Scarlett was having his baby he hadn't bothered to think of it. He thought she resembled some sort of flower. Then, even more when the doctor had handed him the white wrapped bundle telling him he had a daughter. Inching closer to her, he wasn't sure what to do. When she caught sight of his face, she tried to sit up in a weak attempt but was driven back down in pain.
She called out to him in a weak voice, "Rhett."
Her voice was almost a whisper. He moved closer so he could hear her. "Shh, pet, you just rest. I'm here now." He could see she was making a feeble attempt to move her hand toward him.
"Come nearer," she said beckoning with her hand, "My dreams, are so real. I never get to touch your face."
Rhett took a place again in the chair by the head of the bed. He didn't want to sit on the bed and cause Scarlett any more pain then he already had. He took her clammy hand in his and lowered his face to it. He pressed her fingers to his lips and held them there for a few seconds. "Everything is alright."
There was a long silence and Scarlett still kept hold of his hand before she spoke again. Her words were broken up and it was taking her a lot of effort he could tell. "Ashley," was the first thing she said.
Rhett's rage was beginning to build again. He could build a truce with him for the sake of Atlanta, but couldn't he stay out of their bedroom even on her deathbed for God sake. Rhett stroked her hand reassuringly. "We don't have to talk dear. you need your strength."
Scarlett gave his hand a small squeeze. "Rhett-Darling, its time."
He couldn't ever remember her addressing him that way except in the beginning of their marriage. What did she mean by this? She the Irish strength herself could not be saying that she was giving up. Swallowing a lump that was rising in his throat he tried to continue but she intercepted his words so he fell quiet to let her speak. "There is no way you could have known. This time, something was different then with Bonnie, Wade, or Ella. I told Ashley to send for you. He did."
He hated to do it giving such credit to Ashley, but he would let her have the peace if that is what it took to calm her. Softly stroking her hand he tried to reassure her again, "Yes pet." In this confession he could see she was beginning to get upset talking about it. As she was speaking he could tell it was as though she was having difficulty getting her breath. As she struggled to form words, a tear began to form in the corner of her eye. This was exactly what Dr. Mead had not wanted. He was not going to let the mention of Ashley throw her in to another fit or worse take more of her much needed strength. So, she had wanted him after all. He figured Scarlett was too prideful to write her own letter requesting he come home. Now that all of this was slowly coming out of the works so painfully, he was losing her. How would he ever make his amends and make her forget all of those hurtful things he had said only in his own defense? If it all had to end here this night let it end in love and not in sorrow. if her young life must be halted to an end he wanted her to remember the brief joy she had finally found between them and forget all of the pain. Even though Scarlett was the one here in the sick bed and Bonnie was the one who had thrown the tantrum just a few minutes before; now he found he wanted to throw himself to the floor in a similar fit...it would do no good though. This was one time his way with words and money were not helping him. "Scarlett, your getting all upset. I am to keep you calm. They don't want that temper getting the best of you." He was hoping his little gibe would get something out of her.
"Please," she begged, "It's so cold. We haven't much time by what they say. Listen."
Rhett balled his fists putting them in his pockets. Could she actually have heard their whispers and just not have been able to respond? Someone was going to hear it for speaking of death around her. Rhett stood up and pulled the covers to her chin so they were wrapped more tightly around her. "Alright but no exhausting yourself," he said.
Scarlett took in a ragged breath and began speaking as best she could. "Please keep caring for my children as you have done so well." Rhett tried to interrupt her but she lifted a tired finger at him. "You have been the father that Wade and Ella never had. They love you for it and I never thanked you. See that Wade goes to school at Harvard just like Charles. It's what he wants."
Rhett interjected, "Pet you know you don't have to worry about anything. We shouldn't be having this conversation."
Scarlett ignored his remark and continued. "Wade is so frightened of things because of what I've done. See he finds a good work to make him successful. Ella, make sure she has something she is good at. Find someone who will take care of her, understand, and love her in the ways i could not. Bonnie, she is to inherit Tara. She has great potential; so much like Pa. She understands." At this last comment about her speaking of someone else even Bonnie having Tara; he knew she must be giving up. Rhett buried his face in her neck and hair taking in her scent. He let some of the tears that were forming in his eyes fall freely. Feeling the dampness on her skin Scarlett moved her hand closer to him in attempt to calm and then spoke again. "Rhett, you are the love of my life. You always have been."
Rhett noticed as she was talking her words were more spaced out and she was sounding more tired with each breath. Her eyes were still half open but they looked like they were growing heavy. He interrupted her briefly coaxing her. "Stay with me. Don't sleep yet."
Scarlett continued slowly, "Its alright," she whispered. "Let me remember the way it was supposed to be. I fear I shall be asleep soon. Kiss me again so it will be the last thing I remember."
Rhett could feel his heart wrenching with pain. He would rather have her throw every piece of crockery in the room at him along with every kitchen knife right in his heart. He could feel more tears wanting to come down from his eyes and he was trying to fight them back. Normally he would have loved to take Scarlett O'Hara in a sultry kiss to taunt her exploring every crevice of her the way he loved to do. Then feeling her uncertainty not sure if she was supposed to enjoy it as she would lean closer locking her arms around him thirsting for more. Now though, she was asking for a final kiss. He couldn't let it end this way. She had seen more people through strife and triumph not giving up on them. Now when it counted, she was giving up on herself: The person that really mattered. If he were to kiss her she might go to sleep thinking he had given up on her too.
After a long silence of listening to her slow ragged breathing Scarlett broke in again, "Dearest We will meet again. Rhett-Darling, kiss, me, good, night."
Rhett took his hand and gently caressed along the side of her face. He took a few long seconds with his eyes closed retracing her dimpled cheeks with his fingertips. As Rhett was thinking of whether or not to put his lips to hers, he heard her make that sigh he had once loathed. His eyes snapped open at the sound of it but he didn't have to guess who she was thinking about. He saw that she was letting her eyes flutter shut awaiting his kiss. "Pet, I'm not going to kiss you. Not this way. Do you think I am going to kiss you and let you go and leave me here sobbing like a child. If you want something from me you will have to figure a way to get it."
Scarlett did not answer. Her eyelids were falling heavy and she looked as though she would be asleep at any moment. He could hear her breathing was becoming slower as the seconds passed. He heard her inhale. but he was not sure he heard another breath after that. Acting out of instinct, Rhett dove to his feet. He threw back her coverlet knocking some of the bottles of medicine to the floor. "Pet, open your eyes! He demanded. "Not like this.". At the sound of the commotion Dr. Mead had come into the room. But oblivious to the doctor's presence he already had his hands furiously pounding at Scarlett's chest to try and get her to breathe.
"Let her go Rhett." Dr. Mead quietly insisted.
Rhett ignored the doctor. He felt like a mad man trying to put life in something that he could not be sure was there. His father had ordered one of the Negros to drown puppies he did not feel were worthy of being good hunting dogs because the dam had been bred by the dog belonging to the feuding family who lived up the river a ways. Rhett had followed the boy with the burlap sack to the river and watched until he was out of site until he made the plunge to save them from being swept out to sea. He sat on a stump by the river frantically trying to get life back in them. He had saved all of them somehow. Now, he knew his efforts were probably futile but he found himself pressing his lips to hers. She was parched. Unlike her normal soft full lips that brushed his and felt like the fresh dew that kissed the morning glories by the river. She hadn't drank a drop of anything except the chips of ice he had used to keep her going., Unaware of any ration or reasoning behind it, he removed his flask from his coat and poured the burning liquid in her mouth. She instantly began coughing and sputtering. He heard her take a short quick breath before she whispered "Brandy."
The doctor stood and looked on in amazement."I'll be damned," he said. "I've never seen anything like that. Rhett, let me check her."
Rhett didn't want to leave but he did as he was asked. He paced the hall impatiently fearing the worst until the doctor appeared again. He beckoned Rhett back just outside her door. "I have no explanation for what just went on here. Right now she is stable but still very weak. Keep her warm as her drop in temperature could have accounted for the sudden stop of breathing. She can't weigh all but 90 pounds so you will see some bruising on her from your compressions. She will need nourishment from broth with plenty of protein. Beef, chicken, and vegetable will help her to regain her strength as well as keep her hydrated. I'll be back to check on her."