a/n: My muse is playing nice. Enjoy chapter two of Poodle Allergies.

Chapter Two…

Throughout history there were many famous last words, last stands, last…last everything. Most of the people in the situation of having such admirable words acclaimed to them came to be there by noble means such as dying in a battle against repression or tyranny. But for her, for the time-traveling miko from the future, Kagome Higurashi, there seemed to be only stupidity and rashness as a marker for her stone. Yes. She would be remembered for that…and for the amount of teeny tiny pieces Sesshoumaru tore her up into.

SMACK!

"Bad dog!"

'…It's the smack heard round the world…' Kagome thought stupidly to herself, her hand still hanging in midair.

Understandably the daiyoukai's eyes instantly bled red and the markings on his face turned jagged. His youki unleashed itself, tossing loose stones and twigs and other debris around them. Yet strangely not a single thing touched her as she stood dumb-struck by her actions in front of him. Perhaps Sesshoumaru wanted to save all her pain for first-hand gratification?

Well, hell. She wasn't about to remain standing there, waiting. She'd at least try and run futilely for it.

Pivoting in place, Kagome let out an ear-piercing scream and ran for all she worth.

She made it maybe five steps before Sesshoumaru's hand clamped down on her shoulder and spun her back around to look at him. Squeezing her eyes shut, not wanting to think about the pain she was about to experience, Kagome waited for another acid bath—one she would NOT be protected from by Inuyasha's sword.

And then…nothing.

Not a damn thing.

Peeking out one eye, she checked her situation. Standing in front of an entirely pissed off daiyoukai? Check. Red eyes glaring at her? Check. Hand tipped with very sharp claws too near to her throat? Check. Dead? Not check.

Something was off here.

"I'm sorry?" she whispered as meekly as she could, though she didn't really feel that way. Well, perhaps Kagome regretted her rash actions, but she had found actually DOING it entirely satisfying. Sesshoumaru had long needed, in her opinion, to be rapped on the nose for his behavior.

The hand sitting menacingly on her shoulder tightened, his long fingers digging into her flesh but not yet painfully. Then the hand moved down to her arm, the grip easing slightly but still keeping a good hold on her. Kagome closed her eyes again, sure the end was nigh, and was surprised when she was suddenly spun about, presenting her backside to him once more.

SMACK!

"AH!" she couldn't help but cry out as the flat of Sesshoumaru's other hand met with her tender hide. And no, he wouldn't just go for her nicely padded butt cheeks. Ever the sadist, Sesshoumaru chose to spank the lower half of her ass where her cheeks met her thighs and where the skin was extra tender.

SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK!

"Wayward pup," she could have sworn she heard the daiyoukai mutter uncharacteristically as he suddenly released her.

Immediately Kagome moved her hands to her butt, now fighting back the tears of the wounded. It had hurt, damn it! She hadn't been spanked since she was very, very little and even then Kagome knew her mother had never hit her very hard. Sesshoumaru hadn't had any difficulty in swatting her or in using a considerable amount of strength when he did.

Did he spank Rin?

No. That little girl was too sweet to ever earn her guardian's disapproval… Unlike herself.

What in the hell? Why was she sniffling like some wounded fan?

"Stay," Sesshoumaru ordered her, seeming to have been calmed by his actions as his eyes faded back to their usual cool gold.

Much like the dog he was taking her for, Kagome growled at the command and earned a slightly amused look from the once more stoic daiyoukai. "What do you want from me, Sesshoumaru?" she demanded to know, all thoughts of respect gone for the moment.

"Retribution."

Kagome's eyes bugged out at that word as she searched her mind for the definition of retribution. Okay. Jiji had always said retribution was a punishment or reward distributed in a future life based upon performance in this one. Jiji had also always said that it was more often than not a punishment.

Future life? Was Sesshoumaru going to kill her? "Are you going to kill me?" Kagome asked before she could think better of it.

"Perhaps. In time. After."

Huh? After? After what?

Kagome found herself backing away again, a hard look from the daiyoukai in front of her stopping her movement instantly. "I never did anything to you!" she protested.

She couldn't help herself as she glanced down at where Sesshoumaru's new arm was. Okay. Maybe she was a little to blame for that incident—the losing of the arm, that is—but seriously. It had been a kill or be killed game—by his making—and she'd done what needed to be done. And it hadn't actually been HER who lopped the arm off anyway! Besides, he had the damn thing back now. Couldn't bygones be bygones?

Then Kagome began trying to think of what else she might have done to the daiyoukai and came up with….

Nothing.

"What in the hell did I do to you?"

Again, the mouth was running rampart. Damn the mouth! Damn it to the seven hells!

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at her question. "Dare you pretend ignorance, human."

"Okay. First, I am a human and therefore do not find the term offensive. So you can stop saying it like I'm suppose to start crying over it or something. Second, I have no idea what you are talking about, Sesshoumaru! You've got to start making sense sometime within the next hundred years, please!"

Quick as lightning Sesshoumaru's hand darted out, clutching her around her throat and lifting her off the ground. Kagome grabbed onto his wrist, but found that strangely Sesshoumaru hadn't cut off her air supply when he'd latched on to her. No. It was more like he was holding her by the scruff, as he would a puppy he was bringing to heel. He brought her close to him, so close Kagome could feel his breath ghosting across her skin. Thank the Kami he didn't eat dog food! "You are vexing!" he spat with more emotion than Kagome had heard him ever use before.

"Of course I am!" she answered. "I'm female!"

Sesshoumaru held her out as far as he could from himself without letting her go. His eyes combed up and down her body as if, for the very first time, he was realizing that she was, indeed, female. "Oh Kami!" Kagome cried out in disbelief. "You really hadn't noticed that I don't have a penis?"

Was it her or was there a faint tinge of color to Sesshoumaru's cheeks?

"You will shut your mouth if you do not wish to lose your tongue, girl."

Kagome immediately zipped her lips. Even though her tongue was burning with comments and questions and was feeling mighty reckless this evening, she forced herself to remain quiet.

For a full minute the daiyoukai stared at her, as if eagerly waiting for her to speak. Tough cookies, dog, Kagome thought to herself as she secretly ranted in her mind. I ain't barking a word!

The fact that her sense of humor seemed to be sticking around was a good sign. Maybe.

Then, slowly, he lowered her back down to the ground and removed his hand from her throat. "You will run from me now, miko."

Kagome opened her mouth to ask exactly where she was suppose to run to and why she had to run, but snapped her lips shut as his eyes flashed red again and his youki spiked. She stumbled backwards, letting out another wake-the-dead scream as Sesshoumaru seemed to be consumed by his youki. His facial features stretched almost grotesquely as his body changed from his human form that of his canine, exploding outward in a massive wave of wind and youki reminisce.

When the dust cleared, Kagome was gaping up at Sesshoumaru's true form, his lethal jaws snapping at the air as if it offended him. Then those demon red eyes focused down on her and he barked, effectively deafening her for a moment and throwing her equilibrium off. Kagome stumbled around stupidly, waving her hands around her again in case she fell or knocked up against something. Then she was bumped by a very large and very cold nose.

Turning, Kagome braced herself against Sesshoumaru's muzzle before she realized what she was holding on to and moved hastily back. "Right," she said to the glaring red eye that was almost as large as she was and was down at her level. "You want me to run. Do I get a head start?"

In answer, canine Sesshoumaru stood up, his fluffy tail giving a surprising wag of anticipation as his tongue lolled almost puppy-like out the side of his mouth.

Kagome took that as a yes.

"Okay. Okay. I'm running!"

*PA*

"AAAHHH!"

Kagome was sure she did not sound like a proper chew toy for a dog, but did she care? No. Not really.

Oh, Kami! Oh, Kami! Oh, Kami!

Running faster than she'd ever run before, sure that she was going to be squished at any moment by a huge dog paw, Kagome used all her sixteen years of accumulated smarts to her best advantage. How? By running blindly through the night screaming her head off, of course!

Scared out of her wits, Kagome couldn't think of anything else to do. It wasn't like Sesshoumaru would lose her or anything. He was just playing with his food.

Food? Ew.

Kagome really didn't want to be devoured and she was sure she would cause a tummy upset being that she regularly ate copious amounts of sugar in the form of Pocky and lots of preservatives and MSG.

Sure she could feel Sesshoumaru's hot dog breath coursing down the back of her neck, Kagome refused to look behind her. 'I am going to DIE!' she thought to herself just as she heard the most wonderful sound in the world.

"KAGOME!"

Spinning in place, stopping so fast she did fall to the ground, Kagome searched wildly around for her savior. She spotted the red clothing and charged towards it like a bull. Just as she was about to reach Inuyasha, a paw as big as her mom's car crashed down on the ground between them and sent both herself and Inuyasha flying from the shock wave.

She landed hard, the breath knocked out of her and her shoes disappearing into the night. Gasping for air, Kagome looked up at the super large dog head hovering over her, a wickedly playful light in the demon's eyes. He turned his massive body, giving his half brother a nice view of his backside as he faced her. Another bark sent Kagome's head ringing and she raised her hands to cover her ears as he did it again. "Shut up already!" she screamed.

'Ah! Now these are my famous last words', Kagome thought as Sesshoumaru's jaws opened wide and started down towards her.

But she was NOT devoured!

She was saved—and not by her usual hanyou hero. Inuyasha was still trying to fight his way through the tangle of Sesshoumaru's legs and tail. As her hearing returned to her, Kagome could even make out him screaming her name again. Nope! Her hero, this time, was the little red-haired ball of toy sized fluff that had a mental image of its self as being as large as a mountain. Souta's poodle darted between herself and the drooling razor sharp filled jaws of Sesshoumaru and began barking up a storm. His little barks were so ferocious and fast that both front paws of the dog jolted off the ground every time he sounded off.

'Doggy recoil?' Kagome thought with a snicker.

And then came the sight Kagome never thought she'd see.

Sesshoumaru backed the hell away, stepping on poor Inuyasha in the process. His large doggy head cocked sideways and a look that Kagome couldn't put under any other heading than terror or mayhap absolutely confusion—it's was so hard to read the dog demon's eyes—crossed his face. Then he glared at her one last time and sped away.

What as it with dog demons and poodles?

"Yeah!" Kagome screamed at the retreating demon as her spunk was restored. "You better run!"

to be continued...

Post a/n: I have recently acquired a roommate and with said roommate came a little brown piece of fluff in the form of a toy poodle named Redd who readily has adopted me into his pack. And let me tell you they are some mouthy dogs with mental images of themselves being ten times bigger than they are! So, if ever by chance I found myself facing off with a dog of Sesshoumaru's size, I have no doubt my little pack master would definitely interfere in trying to save me.